Muse Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 Hello, all. It's very hard to come to the forum, but I figured I should at least drop in and say hello from time to time to everyone here. You have all been so nice and so supportive. It's been horrible in the weeks since my baby died. I still cry every single day. My entire life centered on our Greybies and the void that is left is huge. Marden was more than a pet. He was my son. I loved him as much as I would have had I given birth to him myself. I never even imagined that I might lose him. Megan has done extremely well, better than expected. She actually even gained weight since I tend to be indulgent with her out of guilt for her being not having a companion. At some point we plan on finding her a "friend"... but not yet. I just can't deal with it yet. We did find out our "Little Budgie" is a little girl so she now has a proper name - Aria Marie. The cere changed to this horrible dark blood color, and I panicked and took the poor thing to the vet. She examined the bird and said she thought I had a female budgie. Evidently the blue cere was some freaky result of her color mutation. Had she been a boy, the color change would have likely meant cancer, so we had the DNA testing done to see if we needed to prepare for the worst. It turns out to be good news. She is just merely a healthy girl going through sexual maturity. We had a great trip up this weekend to visit the Central Virginia Parrot Sanctuary aka Project Perry. Matt, the founder, was extremely gracious in giving us a tour and answering all our questions. He gave us a lot of great advice on planning our own aviary. What a wonderful person and what great work he has done there. The birds were all so happy and well cared for. I was amazed. They are definitely on our list of charities that we support now. Other than that, I am just taking life day by day and trying to get through each day with a minimum of breaking down. Hope all is well for all of you. -- Muse (aka Dee) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvparrots Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 So glad you stopped in. We'll all be here when you decide its the right time to stick around. Thanks for the update on Megan and congrats on your little girl Aria Marie, great name. Take care and hope to see you again soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inara Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 Muse, so good to see you drop in. How hard each day must be for you, I'm sure even giving us an update was painful. It is good to know that Megan is doing well, and that all is well with your little Aria. Mar so enriched your lives, it has to be hard to feel that loss daily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRSeedBurners Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 I definitely understand the part about feeling as if they are your biological children. We have pets: dogs, cat... and then we have our babies - Greycie and Toby and we had Raven for a time. I still can't look at pictures of Raven without tearing up and I think about her every single day. They do leave a big hole in your heart when gone. You sort of expect a human child will grow and leave which they do but these guys are your babies for life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muse Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 So true! The really hard thing is, that when you replace having human children with non-human ones, others do not seem to understand how profound the loss can be. You don't get bereavement leave from work. You don't get all friends and family traveling across country to comfort you. I did get some beautiful cards from our vets (one wasn't even our avian vet!). I keep wondering each day if this will be the day I don't cry. So far, it hasn't been. Thank you for your kind words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 Well what do you know? I am also an "aka" Dee, other than Miss Gilbert calling me LuLu, that is. It was stunning when we lost our CAG Juno, I was totally unprepared for the grip of grief. It was incredibly painful to stick with the forum at first so thank you for finding the strength to return as you can bear it. I promise that it does get better with time. It isn't so much that the hurt goes away, its been five years and it is still raw. What does happen is little by little, small things that were joyful in our relationship started to peek through and make me smile. We only lived with Juno for seven weeks, he was still our baby. His eyes never had a chance to turn. Breaking down is not a sign of weakness but a tribute to the depth of emotion our greys manage to share with us. So pleased that your little Aria Marie is healthy and along with Megan is bringing you happy moments as you cope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muse Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 Everything seems harder right now. He was so much a part of my life that I see memories of him everywhere. I just have to keep telling myself that I am not the only mother who ever lost a son, and try to go on for the others. He really did enrich my life. He was my light and my joy. It didn't matter to me that he didn't talk. He loved me, and I loved him. He used to make this adorable cooing noise for me every night when I came to bed, so that I would kiss him. I would give anything to hear that one more time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muse Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 Thank you. I am sure I will be around more in the coming weeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muse Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 Thanks so much for the words of encouragement. It's 'birdy quiet time' at the moment and as I sit here with Megan perched on the back of my chair with one foot drawn up, all I hear are many rustles of preening and lots of little beaks grinding contentedly. I love them all. Mar was just very special and we shared a really strong bond. I do believe that the depth of our love also is proportionate to the grief we feel when we lose the ones we love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave007 Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 Hello, all. It's very hard to come to the forum, but I figured I should at least drop in and say hello from time to time to everyone here. You have all been so nice and so supportive. It's been horrible in the weeks since my baby died. I still cry every single day. My entire life centered on our Greybies and the void that is left is huge. Marden was more than a pet. He was my son. I loved him as much as I would have had I given birth to him myself. I never even imagined that I might lose him. Megan has done extremely well, better than expected. She actually even gained weight since I tend to be indulgent with her out of guilt for her being not having a companion. At some point we plan on finding her a "friend"... but not yet. I just can't deal with it yet. We did find out our "Little Budgie" is a little girl so she now has a proper name - Aria Marie. The cere changed to this horrible dark blood color, and I panicked and took the poor thing to the vet. She examined the bird and said she thought I had a female budgie. Evidently the blue cere was some freaky result of her color mutation. Had she been a boy, the color change would have likely meant cancer, so we had the DNA testing done to see if we needed to prepare for the worst. It turns out to be good news. She is just merely a healthy girl going through sexual maturity. We had a great trip up this weekend to visit the Central Virginia Parrot Sanctuary aka Project Perry. Matt, the founder, was extremely gracious in giving us a tour and answering all our questions. He gave us a lot of great advice on planning our own aviary. What a wonderful person and what great work he has done there. The birds were all so happy and well cared for. I was amazed. They are definitely on our list of charities that we support now. Other than that, I am just taking life day by day and trying to get through each day with a minimum of breaking down. Hope all is well for all of you. -- Muse (aka Dee) Nice to see you. Just a bit of info about budgies---very young male budgies have very light blue nares which eventually change to a darker blue. That blue can be easily seen. Male budgies' cere will always remain blue. Females budgies start off with a very light beige color which on the cere which eventually turns to pink which then changes to cherry red. The cherry red what the female adults have. Female budgies' cere will always remain pink/red depending on the age of the bird Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muse Posted February 25, 2014 Author Share Posted February 25, 2014 Nice to see you. Just a bit of info about budgies---very young male budgies have very light blue nares which eventually change to a darker blue. That blue can be easily seen. Male budgies' cere will always remain blue. Females budgies start off with a very light beige color which on the cere which eventually turns to pink which then changes to cherry red. The cherry red what the female adults have. Female budgies' cere will always remain pink/red depending on the age of the bird That was the problem. The cere when she was young was a pale blue. I thought it looked male (having had budgies before). But then it started changing to a flesh colored hue. So we thought maybe 'it' was female. Then we moved. The cere again turned partly blue. However, at the time we were feeding the Goldenfeast Austrailian blend, the smell which makes my mouth water. She loved it, but it seemed to stain her face and beak and cere, so we thought maybe that was causing the respiratory issues. We discontinued feeding it, the respiratory issue went away, and the cere returned to blue with pale cream edges. She was seen by one vet, who even examined her nares very closely at this time and said she felt the bird was male. Then a couple of weeks ago, the cere got VERY dark, like a deep purple blood color. I was hysterical and rushed the bird to the vet. This vet said this was a normal color change for a sexually matured female. I would not call it cherry red, but more of a deep reddish purple. I had found on the internet that male birds can have this change, due to a testicular tumor. (This only fueled the panic). The only way to tell which was which was to go ahead and have the bird sexed, so we did. If it had come back that it was a boy, then we'd have had to go further with treatments for the cancer. I was so relieved when they called me and said "It's a girl!". The second vet said she wondered if her pale color mutation did not have something to do with the unusual cere colors. I have personally never seen a female with a blue cere before, but then again I am no expert. I am just happy that she is a little girl, and healthy. Now if I could just get the little stinker to consistently eat fresh food. She refused to touch Harrison's pellets but did compromise and eat the Roudybush crumbles. It looks like we are adopting a re-homed friend for her later this week! I just hope they get along. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 It is nice to see you back Dee and we fully understand how you feel, it takes time to grieve over a loss of a beloved companion but it will ease in time and maybe then you will be able to bring another grey into your life if that is what you want and you will know when it is right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muse Posted February 27, 2014 Author Share Posted February 27, 2014 Thanks, Judy. We intend to get another Grey, not so much for ourselves but for Megan. Our last vet said, and I have personally witnessed, that the birds get something from having a close companion that they cannot get from humans, no matter how much time, love or attention you give. We are currently looking for another Grey. Megan is very territorial so it will probably have to be a male because I cannot imagine her allowing a female to 'crowd her space' OR share her Daddy. She is the ultimate Daddy's Girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRSeedBurners Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Interesting perspective on your Grey being a Daddy's girl and yet having a close relationship with another Grey. I'm pretty sure we'll be taking my Grey that I lost to a divorce 20+ years ago back into my home. I've always wondered am I going to lose my little Daddy's girl. Our only difference is that the Grey I lost and may be getting back is a female. Hoping the difference in age will help with the union. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray P Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 So sorry for your loss, but welcome back. We all feel your loss as a family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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