Grey's Reaction to Trauma?

[chezron]

Hi All,

Has anyone else shared trauma with your grey and how has he/she reacted?

 

This is what happened in our case:

Just five months ago my husband unexpectedly moved out and moved in with the wife of his best friend. Surprise to us all. Anyway, I not only lost a husband but the three parrots lost a semi-regular person in their lives. I say "semi-regular" as he is a pilot and gone for days at a time.

Anyway, after being left adrift, we are finally gaining strength and acquiring our "sea legs."

 

My question is Brutus initially shared my grief, and he seems to come out of it--as I have. Although, he doesn't talk nearly as much now. Once, every few weeks he will really go through his repertoire, so I know he hasn't forgotten anything. Lately he has been saying, "That's smart!" all day long. That's about all he says except for, "see you in a little while" when I leave.

 

Brutus learned his vocabulary from the STBX exclusively. I can talk to him until I am blue in the face and he will not repeat ANYTHING I say. He does say exactly two things in my voice though, "Are you okay?" and "Want some water?" and I did not teach him those.

 

Do you think he will ever talk as much as he used to? Do I have to get another man in my life before Brutus will learn more words? What has been your experience?

[Talon]

I too went thru a divorce and Talon really liked my ex. She has adapted well togim not being around, but it has been 6 years. 6months isn't much time in grey time, so don't expect too much too soon. Brutus is still getting used to his new life routine so to speak, so give him more time. He may sense quietness in the house since you are alone and not talking as much out loud to another person. My birds are quiet when I'm subdued, and more outgoing when iM in a good mood. You also don't know how much he talks when your not home. My Rikki prefers to talk when she thinks your not listening.

[MKparrot]

Just give your Greys more time. Let them completely forget your ex and use to a new "minus one" ambient. Greys do not forget words and phrases - just have to refresh their memory and adjust the usage of words in new situations.

I have not experienced "divorce trauma" on myself or with Poly, but I am afraid that I may have it if/when I will bring home green-winged Macaw :)

[katana600]

I spend a lot of time home alone and Gil is quiet. When one other person is in the house, whether here where I am staying for the holidays or at home, she is a chatterbox. I am so happy to see you coming through the fog of change. Play some music, sing and dance and see if Brutus picks up on that. Invite an old friend or family member to come for a visit and see if more people help Brutus to have someone to show off to.

[chezron]

I recently found a very "singable" internet station, so they get LOTS of karaoke from me. They do LOVE when I have people over for dinner.

 

I do talk to him all of the time, and especially when he is talking. Although after the 3 millionth time of him saying, "you're smart!" and me replying, "Yes, you are a smart boy too Brutus" ...

 

Just kidding, it NEVER gets old! I love him so much!

[kins2321@yahoo.com]

It takes time for a Grey to adjust to a divorce, just as kids. Sophie came here after my divorce. Your bird WILL talk again... but also look at it in a different way. Your bird lost a friend, YOU lost a husband. They pick up on your loss and empathize.Work together towards a new relationship. It can be amazing! Nancy