JanMarie Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 Hi...I'm new to the grey world...I have always had cockatiels so this is a big move for me. I will be getting a 7 year old grey this Friday who has been in her cage without any attention for months. She has had the same original owner from infantcy who says "that you must let the bird know who is in control" this statement really bothered me because I don't want to treat a sensitive intelligent bird ever like that...respect is what I think is needed besides love and lots of attention...How do I even begin with birdie? I am sure she will be very leery of me. Any advise on where to start with her? I want to do this right by her and not make it worse. I don't think she has been socialized as the previous owner wouldn't take her out of the cage because he said she doesn't like women and will bite, she may have been manhandled... I'm worried. HELP!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timbersmom Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 Hello and welcome to you and your new grey Have you read the thread in the rescue room? I would advise you to. There is lots of good advice there on rescuing/rehoming a grey. Here is the url http://www.greyforums.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?27-Rescue-Bird-Haven Start slowly and let your bird set the pace. Sounds like your bird was in a sad situation, but they are very intelligent and will usually respond to positive change. 7 is still young in grey years. Good luck and God bless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvparrots Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 JanMarie, stop worrying. Just relax and be gentle to this grey. Tell her what is going on and take it slow. Let her lead the way. Welcome to the Grey family! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brat Birds Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 welcome!! If she has had seven years of mistreatment (or neglect) don't expect that she will turn around in a month - but expect that with MUCH patience and love she WILL turn around. If she is in a small cage, I would suggest a large cage with at least three different perches (to relieve foot sores) and a few good toys - chew, forage and foot toys to start. Talk to her, read to her, offer her treats and try to remember that a year might seem like a long time to you, but to her it is more like a week. Please let us know how it goes when you pick her up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffNOK Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 You are the right person for her. I know you will give her a wonderful life. It will likely take time, but I believe you are in for a rich rewarding relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VStar Mama Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 The "Gilburt is home" thread, although long, is a excellent example of what is possible with time, patience, and love. It may also give you an idea of what to expect in the coming weeks or months. There have been lots of rehome success stories floating all over this forum. I beg of you to consider starting a thread in the Rescue Haven chronicling your journey. Your experiences will be valuable for people like me who plan on adopting older birds (when I am ready I plan on adopting a bird who is 15 or older). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 If I were to try to sum up a short answer for you, it would be to read as much as you can on this forum, ask questions, start a good relationship with an avian vet who can lead you to more insights and resources and finally.... trust your instincts. You are in this for the long haul and something touched your heart to take on this commitment. Follow your own best judgment and trust that you will learn as you go and soon you will recognize body language and learn from her what to try next. What's her name? Every situation is different. You may just be the angel she needs and she may respond to you like no other person she has ever met. "Doesn't like women"? Pish posh. I would have to have a large body of research to believe Gilgirl likes or dislikes anyone by gender. It could happen, but doesn't have evidence to sway me yet. "let this bird know who is control"? Hokum. Consider the source, how well has that worked based on the results? You have the right attitude that you want to do right by her and I am convinced by you joining us and by asking the questions that you are going to be her friend. It will take some time, maybe. We just don't know. We had a girl named Rachel on our forum who took in two greys from a long term hoarding neglectful situation, told then were never handled, one was special needs and they immediately responded to her and were so sweet and able to be handled right away. And please do come to the rescue room and post your journey with us. We all learn from each other and it may be the success story that opens someone's eyes to trying. This grey journey has ups and downs, worries and sometimes bites and heartbreak. But... it is like nothing you have ever done in your life. No book. No script. It will turn out unexpectedly and you will be glad you kept a journal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JanMarie Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 Thank you everyone for your help! I love having the wonderful support for this journey. JanMarie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brat Birds Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 Today was to be the day. Did you bring her home yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JanMarie Posted November 2, 2013 Author Share Posted November 2, 2013 Hi...no we haven't brought her home, it was supposed to be last Friday. It will be this Monday now. Her owner was busy. AND...I know this grey has a few choice "F" words it likes to throw around...anyway of changing that or just try and incorporate new words...when people walk past her cage she yells "shut up F*%&$#!"YIKES ANY SUGGESTIONS! I know the previous owner thought it funny but I don't. JanMarie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VStar Mama Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 Best response is no response at all. Don't look at her, don't laugh, don't change your demeanor and eventually it will extinguish itself...mostly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 AND...I know this grey has a few choice "F" words it likes to throw around...anyway of changing that or just try and incorporate new words...when people walk past her cage she yells "shut up F*%&$#!"YIKES ANY SUGGESTIONS! I know the previous owner thought it funny but I don't. This is going to be difficult but no once they learn words they do not forget but it will be helpful if she does say those words to not respond, just ignore it is all I can say and she will gradually speak them less and less. Its important to not laugh or give a reaction to it for it will only make her want to repeat them for they love attention even if it is the bad kind so bite your lip and ignore it and have every member of the household do the same. I think you have the right attitude going into this adventure and if you just take your time and be very patient with her you will see good results, do read the Gilbert is Home thread as it is about the journey of another rehomed grey who came from multiple previous homes, it has taken quite some time but this grey is almost a different bird now that she is in a loving home, Dee and Gilgirl are truly blessed to have found one another. When you bring her home put her into her cage and go from there, you can open the door and see if she will come out and if she does then that is good, take your cues from her and she will let you know if she wants to interact with her, don't force yourself on her, let her decide if she wants more and just take it slow and easy but with your attitude I think you will do fine. Do let us know when you get her home and maybe share a picture or two with us as we would love to see her, btw what is her name? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pacoparrot Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 Not much you can do besides ignore it completely. Sometimes they give up if it's not getting a rise out of anyone. But they seldomly forget anything, haha. That is except the cute things that we can never get them to say like "I love you!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 We have done a few things about the unsavory word choices. If you can ignore them, turn your back and don't even look at her. If there is a trigger, such as when our dogs bark, I would start by saying "quiet" and in time Gilgirl has changed her vocabulary. At first if she would shout at the dog and call them idiot, I tried saying "Elliot" hoping she would substitute, but that only seemed to make her say it more. So pre-empting her and saying what I wanted her to say works best for us. There is one word she goes back to because my husband and daughters would laugh when it came up unexpectedly and perfectly in context to the moment. They are harder to reason with than an African Grey. Be patient and find things for which you can praise her and she will want your attention and eventually the unpleasant things she has learned will become unnecessary for her to get positive reinforcement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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