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Sometimes I hate..LOVE Nilah....


Talon

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I hope the room darkening works for you Talon. My parrots so love to fly and luckily they come to me when I call and love to follow me around so it is a piece of cake to get them back into their bird room and to their cages. Normally birds do not move around in the dark, of course, from what you say, Nilah is a whole different creature. I hope you do not have to break her spirit, but her stubborn will would be okay. Fingers crossed.

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I agree with Timbersmom. Since getting Nilah back in the cage in the mornings is so dramatic, just do not let her out. That is a much better solution than clipping her. I believe this is just a phase and it will pass over time. It's not like she doesn't cuddle with you and sit nicely on your shoulder, she does that. It's just the not wanting to be put back in the cage early morning when in her mind there are a ton of things she would rather do than sit confined in her cage. Dayo was like that just a few years ago. So the solution was if we knew we had to go some place in the morning, he was not let out. He would go in his cage at night no problem. So it reduces stress and frustration both on you and nilah by just leaving her in it. Thats a win - win in my book and is not neglecting her in any way.

 

You can work on getting back in the cage on weekends maybe when you do don't need to be stressed out about going to work late etc. Your stressed, Nilah feels it, gets stressed and you two feed off each other and it keeps escalating.

 

So as you work on this over time on days you can just casually get a step up and take her to the cage and place her in it. Do it say every 30 minutes to an hour. This will take time but it will get her used to a routine that she will just go back to the cage without a fight. After you've got her in, reward her with her special treat. :)

 

Do not clip Nilah, you don't want to make me fly back there on a 911 trip to rescue her from this. :P

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Penny, I am so sorry you are going through this frustration. If only we all could win the lottery and stay home all the time with our feathered companions. Because of Miss Gilbert's flightless condition and seeing Java come to us with a brutal cut, I am generally against all clipping. But, with that said, Java went through a short period of intense dislike of my daughter when she came home from college on spring break. She picked right up where she left off the following summer. When it was time for the holiday breaks, Kelsey was afraid to come home and although we kept Java caged as much as possible, she would get out and come straight into an attack on the "intruder" in our home. It was intense and sustained and we tried for almost a year to come to some agreement. Finally with heavy heart I took her to the vet and talked about clipping. She is not a grey, but has the same body proportions. The vet barely clipped the first three feathers and said lets try the least amount of change and bring her back if it doesn't help. She could still fly anywhere in the house, just not as quickly and not as agile as before. With that one time clip we have never done it again, but it did help. We also worked every day to give Kelsey a chance to use a stick perch and come upstairs to "rescue" Java and bring her to the basement were we all gathered to watch movies and play video games. She was the one to give Java her daily treats and we finally got the two of them to be friends. This too shall pass with Nilah. She knows she has your heartstrings and she is a clever clever little girl.

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Hey, Dan....don't tempt me...I would LOVE to meet you in person! Thank you for the advice, it ,ads me feel so much better. I think of it in the am when I am leaving her in her cage and letting the others out. It is heartbreaking for me to do that, but I am so much more patient with her when I get home and anxious to let her out and spend time with her.

 

I have made it thru the entire week. Keeping her in her cage in the morning. I sit next to her for a few minutes before work talking to her and reading the paper. When I get home at night I let her out first, and she goes right to my shoulder, cuddles me a lot, and doesn't leave me for most of the night. She is very affectionate, and a bit quieter, not the unruly IRS she was. Today was Sat. I let them out for breakfast and they stayed out most the day. I was having company, so as I had Nilah on my shoulder, I leaned into her cage and she gracefully stepped down o to her perch. I made a huge big deal out of it, praised her lots and gave her a treat. Then I got the others I'm their cages. My daughters boyfriend is here this weekend, and she has been a good girl today. I'm so proud of her and happy.

She seems to have called down for the better this week. But I will see how it goes a day at a time. I am not ready to

let her out in the am during the work week for now.

 

I am so Thankful I listened to all the advice and went with my gut feeling and didn't clip her. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.. It would have crushed her, she lives to fly more than any of my others. Can't thank you guys enough for being here for me and Nilah. I will keep up with the updates.

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  • 5 weeks later...

Just an update: I have been leaving Nilah in her cage in the mornings before work & letting the others out. It breaks my heart every day & I feel terrible about doing so...:( Nilah has turned into a very quiet bird, she pretty much clings to me when I am home. She isn't talking as much or is as active, or being a showoff like she was. I don't like it,,,:( SO, today I decided to let her out and give things a try on this work morning. She was SO happy! Even my daughter kept commenting on how happy she was. She was talking up a storm and was a bit like her old self! I knew she wanted to fly off when I went to put her in her cage, but I kind of moved fast & blocked her and before she realized, was in her cage. I made a HUGE big deal about her going in her cage, praising her, clapping, carrying on... (yes, it was a sight to see! I'm glad no one was watching)

 

SO, SUCCESS for today, I will let her out again tomorrow as she was so good today, but the day she flies off will MEAN THAT SHE STAYS IN THE NEXT DAY.

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Here's hoping letting Nilah out in the morning continues to work for you! :) My schedule has changed and I'm not able to let Timber out in the mornings like I did in the past. Fortunately, he doesn't seem to mind. Hubby retired, so he is there with him all day now and they have a lot better relationship than they previously did. On the downside, hubby still doesn't trust himself to leave Timber out. He still can't "handle" him without a bite. I'm hoping that will change as time passes.

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Penny... it is time to trim Nilah. A trim, is not a clipping. They can still fly at least eight feet in all directions. It gives them time to focus on learning and snuggling. She has already developed her flight muscles, knows how to fly. She won't lose that knowledge. She will fly again... fully. She doesn't understand any boundaries. Now it is time to learn those boundaries. The time she spends walking, she will want to hang with you. It is not fair for her to be left in cage, while others are out. She doesn't understand that!

Investigate to find the best trimmer, identify the birds and your needs. When letting one bird out, they all go out. Whether they fly a little, then walk, thats a much better choice, than NOT letting one bird out.It is more important, to find a trimmer, that can work with your needs. Interview several trimmers. I LOVE my vet... but I always found it more important to find the best groomer! Nancy

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  • 2 months later...

Well here we are with the latest update.

 

Nilah has not been allowed out of her cage in the mornings (m-f) before I go to work. Rikki and Talon are out and we eat breakfast together as always, I give Nilah her breakfast in her cage, talk to her a lot while I'm in the kitchen, she can't see me, but she talks back. This has been the routine since Sept. 23.......it hasn't gotten any easier for me, I Feel terrible not lettin her out while the others are stepping up to my hand and going with me to the kitchen. It breaks my heart and not a day goes by when I don't feel sad for her. She seems to be ok, but I'm not.

 

Her personality DEFINATELY changed. She became quieter, more well behaved, but very clingy, she never leaves my side, always on my hand or shoulder. This was hard for me...

So starting this past week on Monday , I let her out in the morning with the others much to her surprise, she had breakfast with us, helped me get ready for work, and was again part of our family flock. When it was time for me to leave for work after about a hour or so, while she was on my shoulder, I walked over to her cage and leaned in, it's big enough I can get Inside and she willingly stepped onto her perch. I made a huge big deal bout what a good girl she was and applauded, she loves applause! We had successful 5 days of this! I m so happy! I hope writing this doesn't jinx it.

The one thing that has changed in my house over the last 2 months, was my daughter broke up with her boyfriend, the boyfriend which Nilah was obsessed over and she became mean to us when he was around. I think him being gone has calmed her back down again.

 

I hope and pray she continues to go back in her cage in the mornings. It has been more difficult for me than her I spent my days at work feeling so bad for her.

Edited by Talon
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All she needed to know is what you expected of her.

 

 

Oh she knows, she was fine for her first 4 1/2 years...then she decided she was too good for her cage ! It was heartbreaking to see her in her cage in the mornings..all alone...:( She has become a sweetheart once again, I think she just got too big for her britches! AND I am SO GLAD I didn't take anyone's advice and clip her. Knowing her personality and how sensitive she is, it would have destroyed her spirit.

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  • 3 weeks later...

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