Do you have a second-home grey?

[katana600]

There are a few well known and complex rehomes represented here in the "Rescue Bird Haven" room. We all need to read about how much dedication and time it takes to rehabilitate a traumatized grey. For those of you out there who have acclimated and successfully turned around a rescue grey, I would love to hear about your beginning and how you overcame trust issues. I would also love to read about all of you on the forum who brought in a rehomed or rescued grey that readily accepted your family or acclimated to the change over a period of time. We need to read about those experiences too. It would be enlightening to long time members as well as any newcomers or curious guests to have a wide variety of information. What is your story?

Edited June 19, 2013 by katana600
clarification

[Ray P]

Hay Dee this is going to be a great thread and I think this goes beyond just greys.

[Ray P]

I do not have a second home, rescue or rehome grey, but I do have a second home or rescue amazon.

A rescue is a rescue weather a grey, macaw, amazon or any other of the many parrot species kept as pets or companion. they all share the same heart brake of being taken out of their home for what ever reason. They don`t know what`s going on, new place, new people. They are in a no mans land and don`t know what`s going to happen to them. How would you feel. Some have been well cared for and some abused.

I don`t think of Cricket my Blue Fronted Amazon as a second home or rescue amazon any more. It`s like she has been with us forever and she has a very strong bond with the entire family.

Dee AKA Katana600 wants us to share our successful stories of how we got there.

I have told Crickets story many times here so I will give you what I thought got us here.

I was told Cricket had many issues and because of this I almost did not take her.

One of the first things I did after a bigger cage and a change of diet was to watch her and see if what I was doing that brought out a positive reactions and the first thing I noticed was she would have a positive reaction to a soft voice. Thinking back she came from a home that had 4 know it all teenagers that talked loud and would poke and prod her.

So I would sit with her and talk in a soft voice and she started to come over and with her own soft voice would make soft sounds back. This was the start of our relationship.

So to start with find out what you do that brings out a positive reaction and start there.

All you need is a starting place. You don`t need to finish because it can go on and on.

[Greywings]

You are so right Ray, it really does not matter the species just what is in their heads and hearts. I think it also makes a difference if they have some choice in selecting their new humans. Pookie definitely picked me and I had no intention of coming back with a bird when we went to visit my friend in New Mexico. She stepped right up and accepted scritches all over from our first meeting, we were fortunate she came from a very good home. The people who surrendered her were having some health issues and gave up their best behaved birds while keeping the difficult ones feeling that the good guys had the best chance of finding excellent homes. Fred fred our Eleanora Too had many homes in his past and some were quite unsavory. We were told he lived in a crack house for a while and he is a self mutilator. His last home he was treated well and had two surgeries to close his chest. Now he is the sweetest cuddle bird and very gentle with most people and made the transition to our home very smoothly. Will write of the others another day.

[katana600]

Yes we can use every experience here regardless of the type of parrot or what the first home was like. Those preceding facts are out of our control. I like the term "surrendered". That's how Gilbert was transferred to our care. He had been taken in to a "forever" home when an unexpected, life altering, serious illness of his 32 year old caretaker made it necessary to change his plans. He didn't choose me and we are still working out the kinks but even with little parrot experience, and his plucking and trust issues, we are making the best of things and it gets better in small measured doses and many missteps a d with much forgiveness. Anyone is welcome to tell how their meeting with an older parrot came to be and how that relationship has evolved. It won't hijack this thread and you are just as welcome to start a thread of your own if you would rather.

[Talon]

I love this thread! I will write my Rikki story when I have more time. My biggest mistake and my heart always aches over, is I didn't realize she really was a rehome that required the care and patience of a rescue, but I didnt know it at the time, nor did I realize it until 2 1/2 years later. How different those 2 1/2 years would have been if I met her needs emotionally as a rescue. Hindsight is always so clear...I will forever feel guilty for how upset and angry I got over her behaviour....I considered finding her a new home......she was only trying to overcome her history.......she is the sweetest and most adorable grey ever, and you can always count on her to give you a kiss and some lovin when you need it most.

[birdhouse]

The Feed & Grain had a large bird room. They sold all types from song birds to parrots. Youngsters mostly. But the occasional second hand parrot might crop up sometimes. Which is kind of how the TAG had gotten there. Someone had rescued it from a negligent & abusive situation & there were very few other options.

 

I'd bought my critter supplies from these guys for years. Whenever I was there, I'd always stop by the bird room. I'd also been thinking that I might want to adopt a bigger parrot for a while by that point. So I'd spend some extra time w/however many cute fids caught my eye. I could have loved every one. But some how, none of them ever did follow me home.

 

Maybe that's because most of my critters tend to be strays. The first time I saw the grey sitting miserably on his stand, many things about him & what little was known of his story got to me almost instantly. He didn't even have a name & that was just so sad to me. Of everything, for whatever reason that set the hook the deepest.

 

He wasn't there to be sold. The store owner had taken him in & was trying to work w/him. But things had pretty much gone from bad to worse since he'd arrived. Unfortunately not as much was known about a grey's psyche back then. No one at the time realized how badly this type of busy environment would effect many greys, let alone one that had been wild caught & abused. Clipped & sitting on an open stand, he either sat & shivered or growled & lunged at anyone who even looked at him. A legend when it came to drawing blood from anyone who tried to handle him. Every time, without fail.

 

I didn't know it, of course, but by the time I left, I was already a goner. I went by a couple of times before I finally just asked the owner if I could take him on. He knew me. He liked me. So he told me "No" & walked away laughing. I kept coming back & he kept trying to talk me out of it. In the end, I gave him $285 (no idea where that figure came from) & the vicious gray bird followed me home.

 

He wasn't exactly what you'd call grateful, however. By the time I let him out of quarantine a month or so later he'd still cuss & cower, growl & lunge pretty much constantly. Even though I'd sat w/him, sung to him, given him space, remained calm, cool & collected, he hated absolutely everything & I'd found my way to the top of the list. He certainly seemed to look forward to every chance to prove it, too. Never ever missed an opportunity to rip something open if he could reach.

 

He & my 80 lb dog on the other hand became BFFs literally on sight. ...natural born enemies ...big scary teeth ...first happy chirpy sounds I had EVER heard even after everything I'd tried & all the blood I'd lost. I was so jealous when that happened that I couldn't trust myself to handle "that damned parrot" for a couple of days afterwards.

 

Which certainly suggested it was time to take a step back & get some perspective. And that was when I finally heard the little voice that said maybe something more was wrong w/this picture.

 

We didn't take birds to the vet back then. Just wasn't done. When I finally found one, I had to do the handling because the vet was terrified of the miniature Velociraptor. Weeks of medication & treatment ended w/an eventual diagnosis that the problems were terminal & the humane thing to do was euthanize.

 

For the better (or worst) part of a year, this same scenario got repeated w/all 3 vets available at the time. I'd had no parrot experience. But I'd had experience w/other types of birds & a wide range of sick & abused critters of all sorts. Stress, fear & malnutrition can make a bad mess out of the way a body functions. I just felt in my gut they were all wrong. So I defied them all & we went it alone.

 

The first thing I did was got a huge cage. The living space was about 18" x 18" by maybe 36" high (yeah, we knew that little back then).

 

Then I started a more aggressive campaign against his all seed (read sunflower & peanut) diet. One of the things I'd do was make a whole tray table of goodies & strand him on it. He'd sit in the very farthest corner & hate on me for a while. Then, suddenly race across the table, snatch something & fling it as far as he could because he knew it was going to kill him. This only ended once every single crumb had been safely disposed of. Then he'd go back in the corner & glare at me until I returned him to his cage.

 

The one thing that everyone who lives w/a grey can agree on is how bloody stubborn they can be. Many months & I chose not to think how many pounds of food later, a happy accident finally happened. A cherry exploded in his face as he was about to fling it ...& he couldn't help but taste it. ...& it tasted good! When he went back to the edge where he'd pitched it, he couldn't get it back & that just got him even more angry.

 

I had to leave the room. It was much too funny!

 

Wish I could say the rest was instantaneous. But it was more like the beginning of a 3-4 month process. But the diet, exercise & whatever good all those antibiotics had done eventually started to counter the bad side effects of the overly aggressive regiment of those same antibiotics & all his other issues until physically, things finally got back on track.

 

Wish I could say the emotional issues disappeared w/the physical ones, but... It had been pretty much a whole year while his medical issues raised merry hell w/any hope of our building a good relationship. The worst part was probably that Phenix had had no say in surrendering to me on certain levels, which had really compounded his basic trust issues big time. To say nothing of the oh, dozens of other mistakes I'd eventually realize I'd made along the way.

 

I'd lost so much ground & I knew it. Step up had gotten brutal. But he had to be handled & I hated the idea that always meant toweling him. I also hated the fact that my hands were pretty much hamburger. Once he was healthy & stopped being medicated, I had mistakenly thought things would get better. But it was the other way around. He had more energy to stand & fight & even more reasons. And I really couldn't blame him.

 

Eventually he just wore me down. One day he ripped the web of my thumb up particularly badly. I dripped blood all the way to the bathroom & just burst into tears of pain but mostly frustration. All the hard luck. All the mistakes. All the time & effort. All the BLOOD SHED. Was this really the best it could be? Or should I be trying to find him another home where none of the past year's trauma had ever happened?

 

That thought just made me cry harder & it went on like that for a while. I replayed most every disaster I could remember & had a real pity party until I finally got it out of my system. But that finally gave me a different perspective & the light bulb came on over my head.

 

It would turn out that somehow, even after everything that human hands had put him thru, Phenix' trigger was actually the words "step up". All I had to do was stop saying that! The first time I approached w/my hand out & said "Foot?" was the first time he came to me w/o so much as a threat, even though he was very obviously scared & shaking like a leaf.

 

Even though that was about 25 yrs ago now, I'll never ever forget those few minutes. Not one bad thing that had happened before that moment mattered. It was all going to work out in spite of everything.

 

Phenix & I had to overcome a kind of tough start mostly because we had to do it in a vacuum. No friends w/parrot experience. Not really informative literature. No internet & wonderfully helpful forums. Even the supposed professionals were "against us" in the beginning. But even though I wouldn't wish it on anybody, I haven't got a single doubt that all of that was worth all the wonderful stuff that's happened in all our years since.

Edited June 30, 2013 by birdhouse

[Greywings]

ou found the key to that very difficult lock and the doors opened, how wonderful.

[Ray P]

Birdhouse you found that one thing, that starting place and took it from there.

[Timbersmom]

What a cool story! Thanks for sharing I can't use "step up" with Timber either. I can say "wanna go" and he'll step right up. Sometimes the small things make all the difference.

[Ray P]

Earlier in this thread I talked about a soft voice and how it brought out a positive reaction with Cricket and how that was the starting point in our relationship.

Cricket made the next step before I thought she was ready.

I had been giving her treats through the bars of her cage and one day she put her head down against the bars as I was giving her a treat. I very gently gave her a head scratch on the top oh her head through the bars for about 1 or 2 seconds before she pulled back. She pulled her head back and not her body.

Later that day I sat with her and was giving her treats through the bars and talking and talking to her and she put her head down again and I gave her a very gentle scratch on the head again, but this time it was for a longer period of time.

Our relationship and bond grew because of a soft voice and a gentle touch along with my presence and her patience.

Cricket always moved to the next step and dragged me along.

 

P.S. Dee this is a great thread.

Edited June 30, 2013 by Ray P

[Vicki5280]

Ray and Birdhouse - what wonderful stories you have! I'm so glad you shared them!! Stories like that help not just those people who are owned by birds with a history, but those of us with blank slates as well.

[murfchck]

I only have one that we are his second home, the others i know we are at least the 3rd if not 4th home. But for sure the last until we pass away. I use to think Gabby was our most challanging one, but it is turning out to be my proud Bongo. I thought Gabby but it turns out she just isn't a fan of me, loves her daddy though. Bongo has always been quiet and we called him our statue because he would just freeze when we would come into view. He was always accepting of new things, cage, toys, stands etc. Now looking back, he was frozen with fear. After everything has calmed down now i can see how much those things bothered him but he was to proud to really "tell" us. Now when he gets upset, he chews on his nails and we know to stop and help him past the stress. He is still not out of his shell but he will now call to me and after i call back he will fly to me and he does this because he wants too which, i will admit, makes me tear up every time. We are coming up on two years of him with us and he teaches me things everyday. We just have to be open to learn!

[Greywings]

So very true, learning to read them is a learned skill and it takes time. Good work.

[katana600]

I had no idea Phenix has been with you so long Val, aka birdhouse. You were such a huge supporter that helped Gilbert and me through some rough sailing. Ray's quiet and gentle soft approach was also our predominant MO with Gilbert. We are still not sure how many homes he has had, maybe four previous ones. He also spent time in a fast, busy, loud house with lots of small children and other pets. Who knew that would be so scary, but for him, it was. We are still away from home and life in the country is agreeing with him, and me. We wake to sunrise and watch the beautiful peaceful sunsets as we drift off to sleep in the same room. He was really grouchy when we got here and now that its time to leave he is warming up slightly. He was so I love with my sister but has now broken her heart by trying to bite her if she comes near. A few weeks ago while we were here he got out of his cage every day and this time he wants no part of it. It may be that his view before was wide open fields of snow. This time the fields are green and he sees many animals out the window, including hawks. It is certainly a lot different to deal with the emotional issues he brings from his history. When he finally really shows deep trust, it will be better than a lifetime of birthdays and holidays. One big thing I have learned from this thread is the unsuspecting triggers of what we say that reminds our companions of worse times and sets the motion for an I start recall and preparation for battle. I know we are making progress because he no longer self mutilates nor does he huddle and shake. He is able to more quickly shake off a bad moment and regain his composure without bloodshed on his part or mine. I so look forward to others sharing the experience of integrating a bird with a past into a new home. Thanks so much for each of you for all you have given to this forum and especially for the parrots you bring to share with us.