Fifi28 Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 Hi Everyone, I am just new and do not own a Grey yet. I have loved these bird my whole life and really want one, however my kids safety comes first. And of course the welfare of the bird. There is a great breeder I have found who has babies, handreard and around kids. I have a 1 year and 4 year old and have been reading a lot about the cautions of having grey's with kids due to their nervous nature. I am just asking about your experiences with your Grey and your kids and how they get on. My kids will obviously taught how to respect the bird and to be calm around it, but I still want my kids to be kids and run around and have fun, but if this proves to stressful for the bird then I will think again about getting one. My other concern is "one person bonding". While this is not really a massive issue if it was this alone, if the bird was to become aggressive towards other family members, then this would cause problems and have to be re-homed. Again, any advice on this matter to would be great. Any advice would be wonderful. Thanks, Fiona Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 Some members here have young children and their birds but its up to you to educate your children about the grey, to stay a safe distance away, not to poke fingers in the cage and so on and so forth. Personally I would like for you to wait a few years when those children will be a little older and more inclined to obey the rules around greys but if you decide to go ahead then you must do your best to make it work out, its not easy as the other members will attest to but it is feasible. Greys do tend to bond with one person but if you get a baby grey and socialize it properly then a good relationship can be formed with all members of the family, my grey is bonded to me but she tolerates my husband and actually gets along better with him now than she used to in the early years. The important thing is can you manage it now, I know your human children come first but when you take a grey into your home and your life you don't want to go into that with the notion that if it doesn't work out you can rehome it, too many of them end up that way so its up to you to figure out if you can manage both. Good luck to you and let us know what you decide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 I have not had experience directly with small children in the home with a grey, so I don't have any advice from that perspective. However, I do have adult children and I now have a grey. My girls would have been hurt and rejected that they were not the favorite if they saw a close relationship with one and not the other, or with a parent but not the kids. I think that might be the case with many younger kids that wouldn't understand. Gosh, that is true even with adults when a couple adopts a grey and it chooses one over the other. It is so good that you are thinking through the decison rather than acting on impulse because you can evaluate it from many different angles and decide when the time is right to make this kind of commitment. We have had other members (one or two) with positive experience with having babies after they had a grey. Not so many bring home a new grey with young children. More often we have posts seeking new homes for greys when a new baby comes in. Also, we have a rehomed grey, Gilbert. He was in a home with four small children and they referred to him as "that mean grey bird" and they were more than happy to see him go out that door. While he may not have bitten any of them, he just was not going to be friendly or cuddly. Unfortunately when there is a rehome, life for the grey goes downhill and that was his third or fourth home. I am living with a close up view of a damaged grey so my view is more from his perspective today. If you are not really really sure that you can devote yourself at this time, it will break your heart to love a baby grey, then part with it. If you have doubts, wait. You will be glad you did. Follow your heart, only you know what you can handle, and you may be the one that brings it together. Thank you for putting so much thought into it to come in and ask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fifi28 Posted May 18, 2013 Author Share Posted May 18, 2013 Thank you so much for your advice. I read some posts on here to relating to having kids and greys and I need to look for a more suitable animal while the kids are so young. It would not be fair on the kids and it would not be fair on the bird, and like you say, it just ends up being rehomed, with potential behavior problems. I initially started with getting advice from breeders and specifically pointed out that I have kids. They never seem to mention what it's like to realistically own a grey. They just want their £700. So I am glad that I came on here where people will be honest and have nothing to gain so thank you. So I am thinking along the lines of conures, senegals or quakers. Or might just stick to the humble cockatiel. Many thanks, Fiona Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timbersmom Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 Wise choice I think. I got my bird from one who had to rehome him due to her 5 year old daughter. Some make it work, but I wouldn't take the risk at this point in your life and I think you have made the right decision. African greys require a lot of time and attention (as well as money). When my children were young, I wouldn't have had the time to devote to a grey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aw64 Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 as hard as it is think you have made right choice, My CAG is 14 months old came home at 10 weeks as a lovely cuddle muffin, but now he is independent and head strong, I have know young children but don't think I would of been able to have worked as hard as I am with Alfie if I'd got a young family, this does not mean all CAG's are the same I can only speak from my experience, what ever you go for hope we get some updates and pictures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fifi28 Posted May 18, 2013 Author Share Posted May 18, 2013 Yeah Timbersom, it just would not be fair on any of us and 2 kids under the age of 5 is hard work, I do not think I could be bothered with the stress it would cause. I would be terrified if I turned my back for one minute, the bird got a fright and one of my kids lost a finger. I would never be able to relax and it would take the enjoyment out of it. I think I will get my grey when my kids fly the nest and I need another baby to replace them. Hahaha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fifi28 Posted May 18, 2013 Author Share Posted May 18, 2013 Thank you AW 64. I think I have. I want to enrich my kid and my pets life, and this is just not going to work for us. Would anyone have any experience of Alexanrines? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 You hit right on the nose what prompted me to fulfill my dreams of getting a grey, my youngest left for college. Don't wait quite that long, you will be missing out on something really special, LOL. Maybe just until your youngest gets toward the finish of elementary school near ten years of age or so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fifi28 Posted May 18, 2013 Author Share Posted May 18, 2013 Yeah Katana600, I am going to wait a but till the kids are much older. So did your Grey fill the gap? lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talon Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 Personally, I feel relived that my kids were older when I got parrots. They are so demanding time wise, both kids and parrots that I would not be able to give them what they deserve for attention if my kids were young. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fifi28 Posted May 18, 2013 Author Share Posted May 18, 2013 I completely agree Talon. I am looking at a nice wee parrot now. I am thinking Green Cheeked Conure. They seem ideal for my situation at the mo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 Don't ignore the humble cockatiel for they do pack a lot of personality in a little package and in my experience they are quieter than the conures, I have a sun conure and she can scream at times, makes a great first bird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 Yes, thanks, it filled the gap brilliantly. Now I am plotting to ingratiate him to the grandchildren so when he outlives me, he will have a familiar loving home. Mind you, neither of my daughters is married, nor thinking of giving me grandchildren. But, I put him a clause in my will to make arrangements for him. My daughter loves him and would take him in a second and said "Hey, why would you pass me over and think of grandchildren?" I said, hmmm, think about it, he could live to eighty, he might outlive you too. LOL. Good luck as you consider bringing a parrot into your family, once you have spent time with one and understand how incredible they are, you will be planning ahead for the time you can bring home a grey. It took me almost thirty years to realize the dream and nothing satisfied my longing until I brought one home. It is a lot harder than I imagined and now when I travel, I drive to take him with me. It was a life changer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingy Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 Yeah Timbersom, it just would not be fair on any of us and 2 kids under the age of 5 is hard work, I do not think I could be bothered with the stress it would cause. I would be terrified if I turned my back for one minute, the bird got a fright and one of my kids lost a finger. I would never be able to relax and it would take the enjoyment out of it. I think I will get my grey when my kids fly the nest and I need another baby to replace them. Hahaha. My guy has been just what I needed to fill the gap when my kidlet left home. He has the undivided attention of my partner and myself. He is such a part of our lives now that I don't even care to add another bird to our family. Jake wants to be with or on us so much that when my kidlets quaker comes for a visit my partner and I are hard pressed to give each bird (both are onlies) the love and attention they ask for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitt4kaz Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 I have two young children and a 11 month old Timneh named Felix. My children are now 3 years and 9 years old but were 2 and 9 when we got Felix. Felix came to us as a 12 week old hand-fed baby. My children have done great with him. My son is 9 and he hasn't spent much time at all with Felix. Therefore, Felix will go to him only if he has flown to an unfamiliar area and needs rescuing. On the other hand my 3 year old daughter has spent much more time playing with him and will go to her more freely but prefers me or my husband if given the choice. Our house is VERY busy but our children are very respectful of Felix and his space and know that his beak hurts. Felix is so far a pretty laid back bird and just kind of goes with the flow. However, I understand your concerns. I just wanted to share my side of having kids with a grey. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fifi28 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Share Posted May 19, 2013 Thanks for all of your input folks - it's been a great help. I will get my Grey one day, but now is not the time. It's been great chatting to you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timbersmom Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 I got Timber when my youngest went to college. They kidded me about trying to fill my "empty nest." Yes, it did work! Timber gives me someone to nuture and "do for." As to you question about Alexanrines, I have no idea. Hopefully one of the experienced members will chime in! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fifi28 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Share Posted May 19, 2013 I can't thank you all enough for your impartial friendly advice. I have decided so stick with my lovely cockatiels for now. I lost my tiel 2 months ago and I only had him 3 months. It broke my heart. I adored him and he adored me. So I am going to go back to the breeder in the summer and see if I can get another chick from Jo's parents. I loved taming him and training him and he came everywhere with me. He would even follow me up the stairs to my bedroom. Only this time, I will get getting the new baby harness trained. Harnesses have not yet kicked off here in England yet, for the smaller bird, I think! I have never seen anyone out with a bird in a harness, but I will certainly be using one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timbersmom Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 That sounds like a great plan Fifi, and you already have experience with cockatiels. Good luck and God bless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fifi28 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Share Posted May 19, 2013 Thank you Timbersom. Have a good one.xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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