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We are all home again


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With sadness our work is done in Pennsylvania when my brother-in-law lost his ten year battle against cancer. It has been a learning experience and I am so happy to return home. It is a bittersweet return, we have some wonderful memories from our time away. Never again will I take small things for granted. I am so happy to be reconnected to the internet and to share with our forum again. I missed you all dearly.

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I am so sorry for your loss but at least you got to spend some quality time with him before he passed away, be grateful of that as many of us do not have that opportunity but as you well know time heals all wounds and he is in a better place now. On the other hand we are so glad to have you back, you have been missed more than you know but you have to do what you have to do so here is to having you back in our daily presence Dee, welcome home.

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We built a closer kinship while driving him daily to his radiation treatment for the past couple of months. We logged about 1200 miles a week and we were in the end of his seventh week when his health took a bad turn. Hospice was in with us for the last week and I am honored that he built up enough trust that he could be made comfortable at home I was able to stay round the clock for the last week and bond with his wife and kids in a way we would never have known otherwise. We celebrate that he is no longer suffering and he is free from the tubes and surgeries. Gosh it is good to be home again and able to stop every now and again and read the forum. I have missed all of you dearly.

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Dee you have given so much to and for your brother-in-law and his family as you have given to Gilbert in making his life better.

You have shown the kind of heart that makes up this membership when it comes to our family, friends and our companions that we share our life with.

Welcome back, You were missed and how`s Gilbert ??

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I know it seems a little too Pollyanna to say I gained so much more than I gave but it is true. My sister is about six years younger and I left home at seventeen and never looked back because of the disfunction. Over the years we saw each other cordially but infrequently. Then an older sister was alone dealing with breast cancer and we both "heard" a calling and contacted her the same week. That was the first time I went away from home to care for someone and it was horrific but Marilyn came too and we were strong for each other. We have lost three of our sisters and are all we have left. We actually went to Pennsylvania in January for a week to attend a hearing where my husband was Marilyn's representative and it came out favorably. Both sides of our family live in our hometown so when we went to visit Mike, it was evident that the spread of cancer was terminal. Marilyn quickly invited me and all my pets to stay as long as we liked and we had a wonderful time over the months. I taught her to make quilts and she is now enjoying a hobby dear to me where we can keep the connection strong. Mike was too tough to permit anyone to "take care" of him, so I drove back and forth and took him to treatments and slowly he let me in and began to have trust. We have worked hard to maintain family connections on David's side and with all this, his mom has Alzheimer's and is in assisted living so having an extra person there was helpful so Mike's wife could continue working and being home with him nights. It was a joy, a blessing and an honor to have spent this time increasing the depth of family connections. It was a double blessing to live in a home where my pets were just as welcome and accepted as any human. My sister has discovered she is a "grey" person. She works about twelve hours a day so now is not the time, but she looks forward to more visits with Gilbert and just fell deeply into a mutual appreciation with a kindred spirit. She said to me as I left that she thinks I came for her to learn a lesson that every time we give unconditionally we get back in multiples and in unexpected ways. That is true. When I got Gilbert, I thought I was helping him because there was no place for him and he had "issues". Over the time I have seen him come to life again and it is my gain that we worked through the hard parts and just kept hearing Marguarite's sweet voice singing "just breathe" and with every breath we are taken to a better place.

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Thanks, you give me too much credit. It is just seeing where there is a need, going in scared spitless but getting up every morning and doing what ever needs to be done. I am ready to slide down in my little rabbit hole for a while and just chill. But.. I left too many quilt projects behind, so I have to clean my kitchen enough to work in there again and then sew to my little heart's content.

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I still find it hard to believe in this day and age... in the USA, anyone would live without an internet connection. But it is true. There are still some rural areas where the phone service is so old their actual transfer box is still made of wood.... and they can't get broadband or DSL. Dial up is not an option and satellite is too expensive when you have lived without internet all your life. It is a lovely quiet way to live, very simple, but who has time for internet when it takes more than sixteen hours to mow the lawn, with a riding tractor? I loved keeping the fire going in the wood stove and driving in the snow on unplowed county roads. My sister isn't Amish, but as close to it as you could get without being born into the community. LOL. I loved what I was doing but am so happy to be back in my own bed.

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Thank you kittykittykitty, that is very complimentary. I used to think I was raised by wolves, then I got a dog and read about wolves to understand her. Nope, I was raised by pirhannas and I learned to never stick a toe near that primordial pond. Once I made the choice to open my heart to love, when it is given, it is freely, fully and unconditionally given. I have also learned to very carefully listen to my brain and to be very selective about where to give my energy and love, its a delicate balance.

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