I have no idea what I am doing

[CheckTheBarn]

So I had to go back to work yesterday. This was Loki's first time alone during the day in his cage. I had to leave his breakfast in there for him because he really wasn't awake and ready to eat when I had to leave the house.

 

Got home as soon as I could after work, zipped straight home. Looked like he had done a fabulous job of eating up all of his veggies and sprouts (of sorts), as well as quite a lot of his pellets.

 

He was happy to see me and was doing his wolf whistle to me as I got my things set down so I could hustle to his cage and let him out. Visited with him as we headed to the kitchen, put him on his basket in there as I got all the things out to make up his dinner for him. He loved all the new stuff I brought home to him and ate like a champ, whew, what a relief!!!! He did NOT eat well Sunday at all, so I was happy to just keep handing him stuff haha.

 

After dinner though, he started into this thing where he refused to sit on my hand or arm. He kept trying to get on my head. When I would not allow it, he would get very upset and either start attacking my hair or glasses or he would fly off across the room and make a crash landing into the tv, behind the tv, onto a fake plant that was too light and crashed over, once he flew straight into the screen in front of the fireplace (not lit, of course). Anyhow, we went through this "you are NOT getting on my head" "Oh yes I AM" battle for over TWO AND A HALF HOURS!! He literally never stopped fighting me to get on my shoulder then head for over two and a half hours. Non stop. It was exhausting. I don't know what I am doing here. I don't know what I am doing wrong.

 

What am I supposed to do with him when he does that? I have no experience with this. We never had a minutes pleasurable just hanging out at all last night. It was a non stop battle the ENTIRE evening. My fiance even had to go outside and relax for a bit, it was so stressful and confusing to us.

 

What am I doing wrong?? It seems like everyone else brings them home and they are pretty much happy to just hang out with them and be held and have scritches. That is how Loki used to be when I went and spent the day or evening with him. He would even fall asleep on my lap or chest before.

 

I do not know this bird anymore and I don't know what to do to make him happy.

 

Help??

[judygram]

This obsession of his to get on your head will be hard to stop but you must be consistent in not allowing him up there, just keep doing what you are doing and maybe after hundreds and thousands of times he will finally get the message, it takes time to accomplish this but if you keep at it you will win.

[SRSeedBurners]

Greycie is partial to landing on my head but I immediately take her down. She likes my hand and my shoulder to so it's good compromise. I think it's helping with ours that I'm constantly busy in the living room, putting together her cage, stimulating her with toys that she is pre-occupied with everything else. We're having a problem with her landing on our ceiling fan, and now a pre-occupation with the 'other' grey in the mirror. I don't want her doing the ceiling fan so when she goes for it I hand spin it so she never gets a good sit up there. Now she's figure out to fly to the center part that doesn't spin. Hrrmmm - outfoxed by my baby grey.

[CheckTheBarn]

Yes, she was always the one that landed on my head over and over at the breeders!! Loki NEVER did that. He was always content to hang out on my hand/arm or sometimes on my shoulder.

 

He did really really well Friday and most of Saturday about pretty much being himself, the same bird I've always known. Playing with toy after toy and getting scritches then falling asleep on you for a little nap.

 

Then Saturday evening he was over tired I guess and started in to screeching and then has just not settled since then. Then last night starts the fight over the head thing and he just never did settle in for just some hang out time. He would NOT play with any toys. Nothing. Nada.

 

It was exhausting, confusing and disheartening. No matter what I tried to engage him with or tried to love on him or do anything, nothing worked.

 

It was an awful night.

[danmcq]

LOL! Loki has no idea what he is doing either having only been with you for around 5 days.

 

He is a baby with wings and does not know any boundaries. He also does not know how to fly well enough yet, not realize that objects cannot be thrown through or landed on. There are a gazillion synapses on his brain that must be built over the coming months on how to navigate, slow down, judge distance, turn and hover. In regards your head, well it is only natural instinct for any bird to keep going to the highest point, your head. Your taking the right actions by not allowing that and yes they will try for countless times until they learn no matter what, it is not going to be a correct perching spot.

 

Yes, it is exasperating to continually stop the same behavior over and over. But, getting upset will be detected by Loki and he will respond in like manner becoming more irritated as well. I know it is hard, but you must control your emotions and remain calm.

 

It is very rare for a baby CAG to just be calm and chill. They normally are exploring and in to everything until they tire and then they will be content to sit on you and nap ro get scratches etc.

 

My suggestion to you, would be to make him the focus of your attention and not worry about your enjoyment when he is out. He needs to be the focus of your attention to interact with him and let him know whats ok and whats not. It is your responsibility to keep him entertained with things he enjoys playing with like foot toys,, T-Stands with food cups and maybe a hanging toy or two etc.

 

If you want to relax and enjoy time in the evening with out interruption, the only way to do that is give him his 3 or 4 hours of personal time with you, then place him in his cage and you enjoy your time then.

Edited February 19, 2013 by danmcq

[SRSeedBurners]

This might help since they're siblings, I've noticed Greycie gets cranky/frightened/irritable just before 9pm. I'm assuming this is when Wendy put them to bed for the night. I've been putting Greycie to bed in my office under a cover. She fights it for a few minutes and then settles down. Try it with Loki. I've also asked my wife and daughter to have minimal contact with Greycie while I'm at work. It helps they have their own birds so they respect my request.

[CheckTheBarn]

LOL! Loki has no idea what he is doing either having only been with you for around 5 days.

 

I he is a baby with wings and does not know any boundaries. He also foed not know how to fly well enough yet, not realize that objects cannot be thrown through or landed on. There are a gazillion synapses on his brain that must be built over the coming months on how to navigate, slow down, judge distance, turn and hover. In regards your head, well it is only natural instinct for any bird to keep going to the highest point, your head. Your taking the right actions by not allowing that and yes they will try for countless times until they learn no matter what, it is not going to be a correct perching spot.

 

Yes, it is exasperating to continually stop the same behavior over and over. But, getting upset will be detected by Loki and he will respond in like manner becoming more irritated as well. I know it is hard, but you must control your emotions and remain calm.

 

It is very rare for a baby CAG to just be calm and chill. They normally are exploring and in to everything until they tire and then they will be content to sit on you and nap ro get scratches etc.

 

My suggestion to you, would be to make him the focus of your attention and not worry about your enjoyment when he is out. He needs to be the focus of your attention to interact with him and let him know whats ok and whats not. It is your responsibility to keep him entertained with things he enjoys playing with like foot toys,, T-Stands with food cups and maybe a hanging toy or two etc.

 

If you want to relax and enjoy time in the evening with out interruption, the only way to do that is give him his 3 or 4 hours of personal time with you, then place him in his cage and you enjoy your time then.

 

Thank you for your response. That is the thing that makes me think I am doing something wrong!!! That is what I am saying, ALL of my attention, every second of it, is spent on him, and I'm happy for it, that is what I intended when I decided to live with this lil guy. I'm not trying to play on the computer or watch tv. I am focussing TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY on Loki. That is why I can't figure out why I can't get him to play with toys anymore or anything else.

 

I think I must not have explained myself correctly. I don't expect him to be a puppy or something, I really don't. I want to interact with him and play with him etc.

 

But yes, he is the absolute focus of all my attention, I wouldn't give him any less. I just don't know what to do to make him happy, I guess??? If that makes any more sense???

[danmcq]

But yes, he is the absolute focus of all my attention, I wouldn't give him any less. I just don't know what to do to make him happy, I guess??? If that makes any more sense???

 

He is happy and frolicking like a child wanting his way and will try over and over and over until he learns it is futile. One thing you may want to do at this point since he is playing with your hair, glasses and then trying to get up on your head. Is to stop allowing him on your shoulder by blocking the path up your arm by using your other arm/hand to stop him from continuing up to your shoulder. Yes, he will try a gazillion times to get up top your shoulder. But you must remain persistent in stopping him at this point. You cannot control a bird well at all once they are on your shoulder. Shoulder privileges are earned through trust, not demanded by the bird. The next important thing you should do is remain calm and correct his actions that you do not wish to take place.

[CheckTheBarn]

Also, I never got upset with him at all, I just kept NOT letting him get on my head. It didn't upset me at all, it upset HIM.

 

I do not want to relax and enjoy the evening without interruption, I want to interact with Loki. Danmcq, your response to my post tells me that I obviously did not do a good job at communicating what I was trying to say, because what you got out of it is NOTHING like what I was trying to explain.

 

Like I said, I just don't know what I'm doing wrong NOW that is making Loki behave nothing like the Loki I spent HOURS UPON HOURS with when he was still at the breeder. I do not get upset with him, I just don't know why he seems so different now, that's all. I just figure it is something I am doing to cause him to be so different. I was at the breeder several times a week spending time with him, so it's not like I didn't know him well before bringing him home, that is why it is so confusing for me.

 

He was fully flighted and a very good and graceful flyer at the breeder. Awhile before I was to bring him home we started trimming his wings back some. There is no way with the household we have that I was comfortable with him being fully flighted, so I had no choice. I know that is why he is not as graceful and in control when he flies now, but he still can fly, just not as gracefully yet. But the fact that he keeps flying off when he is upset with me for not letting him on my head is the part that confuses me too.

 

I don't know if any of this makes any more sense than the last time I rambled on haha.

 

I just don't know what to do differently with him than I've done with him over the past few months to make him happy and settled again, I guess is what I'm asking???

 

I'm such a dork, I swear......

[CheckTheBarn]

He is happy and frolicking like a child wanting his way and will try over and over and over until he learns it is futile. One thing you may want to do at this point since he is playing with your hair, glasses and then trying to get up on your head. Is to stop allowing him on your shoulder by blocking the path up your arm by using your other arm/hand to stop him from continuing up to your shoulder. Yes, he will try a gazillion times to get up top your shoulder. But you must remain persistent in stopping him at this point. You cannot control a bird well at all once they are on your shoulder. Shoulder privileges are earned through trust, not demanded by the bird. The next important thing you should do is remain calm and correct his actions that you do not wish to take place.

 

Yes, I have read that here and that is EXACTLY what I was doing last night. Whichever arm he tried to crawl up, I would use the other hand to block his way and redirect him. Over and over. That is when he really got ticked off at me. I don't like him on my shoulder, I don't want him on my shoulder. Much less on my head!! Haha.

 

So I guess I am doing the right thing then, just keep on blocking him and redirecting him??

 

I also keep talking to him and explaining what I am doing and why. I kept trying to catch him being good and settled for a split second and praise him as well.

[danmcq]

Yes, I have read that here and that is EXACTLY what I was doing last night. Whichever arm he tried to crawl up, I would use the other hand to block his way and redirect him. Over and over. That is when he really got ticked off at me. I don't like him on my shoulder, I don't want him on my shoulder. Much less on my head!! Haha.

So I guess I am doing the right thing then, just keep on blocking him and redirecting him??

I also keep talking to him and explaining what I am doing and why. I kept trying to catch him being good and settled for a split second and praise him as well.

 

Then you are doing a perfect job! That is exactly what you should have done and continue to do. Sorry, I assumed he was fully flighted. The clipped wings will limit any flights of course and he will learn to compensate for that as he learns over time. They do become obsessed with places to perch, such as your shoulder and head. But that will become a place he will slowly stop trying to access once he realizes no matter how many times he tries, he is not allowed there.

Edited February 19, 2013 by danmcq

[SRSeedBurners]

This may sound stupid but it's something I would do: wear a pointy hat, like a party hat. Something he can't land and stay on, just to get him out of the habit. I'm not opposed to them sitting on my shoulder as she will also sit on my hands and elsewhere without issue. I only block the shoulder if that's _all_ they want to do. Our rescue Jardine is a pre-occupied with shoulders so no shoulders for her.

 

 

Maybe I watch too much Survivor, but it's outwit, outsmart, outplay in our house - harrharrrrharrr

Edited February 19, 2013 by SterlingSL

[Jayd]

This may sound stupid but it's something I would do: wear a pointy hat, like a party hat. Something he can't land and stay on, just to get him out of the habit. I'm not opposed to them sitting on my shoulder as she will also sit on my hands and elsewhere without issue. I only block the shoulder if that's _all_ they want to do. Our rescue Jardine is a pre-occupied with shoulders so no shoulders for her.

 

Maybe I watch too much Survivor, but it's outwit, outsmart, outplay in our house - harrharrrrharrr

Not a good idea........................................................

[Luvparrots]

My Congo likes to sit on heads and shoulders so when I hear his coming I just wave my arms or bob my head and he has no where to land. It takes time and consistency so you have to be more enduring than your grey. Good luck. Greys are a stubborn bunch!

Edited February 19, 2013 by luvparrots

[SRSeedBurners]

Not a good idea........................................................

 

Hard hat? Something slippery?

[danmcq]

Hard hat? Something slippery?

 

LOL, that would do the job. My grey dayo does not like hats and will stay aloof until he thinks he sees an opening to do a fly by and attack that evil hat. You do not want to scare your grey away with something associated with or on you. You need to be their rock and trusted companion, not the boogie man.

[Jayd]

Dan and Janet couldn't be more correct. You haven't had this baby long enough for it to even know it's favorite spot. Take a break, calm down relax, for a short time keep movement to a minimum..... give the baby time to adjust, your frustrations are sensed. No pointed hat, no barb wire on the shoulder, just a sense of calm and than proceed with what Dan has suggested.....

[aw64]

Checkthe barn I really understand my alfie is 10 months old had him at 10 wks and the differnt changes we have gone through and still going through are countless, I dont know where I would be withoput this site, your not doing anything wrong but it really does take a long time and when you think its getting better they come up with a new problem, I'm sure alfie sits and plots how to out wit me next.

danmcq has given me soooo much good advice, and its not always easy to understand our problems by us writing on here but they are experienced grey owners who have been there and done that so they do get the idear and they understand the workings of a grey which I doubt I ever will, I'm still having the head problem and seem to walk with a permanate nod now, but how many times do you tell a young child no before they get it, tonight could well be different, try a dim light in the room you are all in that was a tip I had from here that really works it calms them giving you more time to just sit and talk to him, and loads of treats I use pumkin seeds there on ever shelf and in every pocket so always at hand. Take a deep breath and try dim light tonight look forward to hearing more, you will get some nice times honest

[Talon]

When I adopted my cag, I was her 4th home. She had been allowed to land on heads and to eat out of human mouths... every time she tried to land on my head, I would duck and scream at the same time, and say, NO......she didnt like my reaction, she stopped pretty quickly, took a very short time and she never tried it again....

[Dave007]

Hard hat? Something slippery?

 

Another bad idea

[SRSeedBurners]

Another bad idea

 

Guess I'm just full of 'em.

[Timbersmom]

LOL Don't take it to heart Sterling! Timber lets me know pretty quickly that a lot of things I think will work are "bad ideas." Keep brainstorming, that's how we come up with good ideas!

[SRSeedBurners]

LOL Don't take it to heart Sterling! Timber lets me know pretty quickly that a lot of things I think will work are "bad ideas." Keep brainstorming, that's how we come up with good ideas!

 

No worries here. U.S. Marines for 8 years, grew up on a cattle ranch with an old style cattleman dad to match. This place is a kinder-care comparatively. Now turned bike racer. I have too much road rash to let this place get through my skin . Besides, my wife can't stand my "sugar coating is for cookies" mentality. Our biggest problem with Greycie will be me trying not to teach her to use the F* word on every occasion. I know, "bad idea". Wife has been trying for 14 years to stop me....the bird just may well succeed here. Now where'd I put that Jim Beam?

[Wingy]

Until Jake learned the ropes he tried for shoulders and heads. We started putting our foot on the couch and offering the raised knee. That is now one of his favorite places.

[Jayd]

Side Note: No gloves, Greys don't like them......Thanks Jayd