dazza Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 i know i have posted this in other rooms but i have been advised thisis the best room to ask for advice..... hi my name is darren i have recently become the proud owner of a tag (charlie) i call him my rescue tag when i went to see him he was locked in his cage all the time with no interaction with anyone. although im new to owning a grey even i knew this was no good he had started plucking and was not a happy grey, at that moment i knew i was taking him home he now has pride of place in our dinning room (the main thoroughfare) and has my daughter wake him up every morning with a very excited 'morning charlie boy' things started progressing really quick he was stepping up (didnt draw too much blood) then we made a mistake and let the previous owner visit i was not at home but the wife was it turned out to be a huge mistake cause now charlie really doesnt like my wife, but we are working on rebuilding the trust and love that was lost. since i have last posted things have got worse and he now doesnt even take food off her nicely now please help me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timbersmom Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Others with more experience can be more helpful, but I CAN tell you that it takes time. It takes a lot more time for a grey to adapt and get comfortable than you realize. Have you read the rehome stories on the forum? They would probably give you a lot of help and ideas. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 You may be seeing a little regression from Charlie after his visit and I have seen where others have had a similar experience with the emotions our greys experience after a reminder of their former home. This will at least give you an indicator that future visits may be discouraged. Gilbert has has a few steps back after something reminded him of previous experience. The good thing Charlie will learn is that you are still there, his new life is still okay and he will build trust. Give him reassurances and a little space to regroup. In our first year together, Gilbert would get upset in a heartbeat and would take a long time to warm up. As time passes he weathers the upsets with more stability and regains his composure much more quickly. Keep a diary if you can so you can look back and see Charlie's progress. Hope he is feeling better now. He will be okay and will learn you are always there for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 i would like to thank everyone for their helpfull advice i know we have only had charlie for a very short period and it was our mistake that made charlie lose his confidance in my wife, although he has not made any progress (yet) he has got worse as now he wont even accept food from my wife nicely now we will try many things and fingers crossed we will find the 1 way that will rebuild the love and trust that has been lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayd Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Have your wife talk to him, un-animated and not to close, try making your wife neutral in sound and action, also, quiet time, have her read to him often, and have her sing to him [no one else]. A couplr good sons are: The Hokey-pokey, You are so beautiful, and Over the rainbow..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greywings Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 You may find that enjoy childrens books with the big bright pictures and often rhyming words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acappella Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Set backs do happen, don't beat yourselves up about it, just keep moving forward. Don't put any pressure on Charlie. If he's feeling like he want to withdraw a little let him. You can guarantee the one thing that won't stop is his thinking. If you are consistant and loving he'll take it all in and make decisions about his safety in his new home. If his former situation was bad seeing his old owner may have scared him into thinking he was going back there. When Dorian and I were having troubles with trust I had an animal behaviourist over. Her biggest advise was to treat him like he was already the bird I wanted him to be. To me that meant making a conscious choice to approach him with positive body language and a happy disposition. Remarkably, when I relaxed, so did he. That was the beginning of big progress with Mr. D and I, and it shows how tuned in they are to us and the signals we send. I met him where he was and we walked the path together, instead of me being ahead of him and trying to drag him along. I have a feeling Charlie needs that same kind of approach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 I was thinking about you and Charlie today. You will have doubts and setbacks and if you keep learning about Charlie and giving him the grace to shake off those difficult times he will learn to be happy in your home. We have been doing this with Gilbert for two years and many times I wondered if we were the right home for him. We stuck with it because every change for him made it that much harder for him to adjust and we are determined to see this through together. He is starting to show some real progress and all those worries and bad days have disappeared. It is a lot of work and is a journey worth taking. Hope you are doing well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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