Bms Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Hi Everyone, I am new to this forum and just bought a 15 year old Congo named Bogart on Sunday. I posted this comment in the introduction section and thought I should put it here as well. Bogard had been owned by a male for the last 15 years and so naturally when he came to my house he likes my husband and 2 sons. He will let them hold him and scratch his head. He will not let me do either. What makes this a bit discouraging is I am the one that really wanted him. It was my intention to take him with me to work each day so that he is never alone. I teach 6th grade and would love him to be with me at school. I can't very well do this if he does not let me pick him up. I am willing to be patient, but I want to know that he will eventually let me pick him up. The good news is, this morning when I told him goodbye, he said "goodbye" in MY voice. :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timbersmom Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Sounds like Bogart is a quick learner! Welcome and good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 (edited) You can reach the point of interaction with him over time. How long time time will be, is dependent upon Bogart. He obviously had bad experience perhaps with a female in his past or the previous owner that interacted with him most his life was a male. This is going to take time and patience. It is a good sign that he responded to you verbally. But, that is a long ways from wanting out of cage up close and personal interaction. You've only had him a few days, it will take longer for the possible step ups etc. Just be kind, loving and gentle in all you interactions with him. At 15, he is pretty sit in his ways and opinions of humans. It will take a while to have him accept that a female can be kind and gentle it seems. Edited February 13, 2013 by danmcq Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bms Posted February 13, 2013 Author Share Posted February 13, 2013 danmcq, I have a question for you. The man I bought him from told me he would buy Bogart back if it did not work out. I think he was referring to the not liking female problem that he really didn't mention at first. Would you reccomend that I sale him back and get a younger bird or re-home a bird that prefers females? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Well, if you are wanting to get a younger grey that would be more acceptable of you. Yes, if the return option was offered, the sooner you return him to the original owner the better. The previous owner must care greatly for Bogart, which is admirable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bms Posted February 13, 2013 Author Share Posted February 13, 2013 Yes, the man has called me several times to check on him. I feel awful and don't know what to do. I was so excited to get the bird, but I want a bird that likes me. I am willing to spend all the time I can with my bird and provide it with the best home possible, but I do want one that likes to be around me as well. When you mentioned in your response that since he is 15 he could be pretty set in his ways, it sounds a little discouraging. I want Bogart to have a home where he is happy, however I also want a bird that likes to be with me. Hmmmmmmm this is a hard decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 It is a hard decision. If you decided to keep him, it would needed to be unconditionally in terms of him warming up to you or not. He may do so over time, but maybe not. Like I said, if you want a grey that will be highly interactive with you. You should return Bogart and go visit other greys to see how they interact with you before bringing them home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bms Posted February 13, 2013 Author Share Posted February 13, 2013 Thanks for the advice. I think you are right! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave007 Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Yes, the man has called me several times to check on him. I feel awful and don't know what to do. I was so excited to get the bird, but I want a bird that likes me. I am willing to spend all the time I can with my bird and provide it with the best home possible, but I do want one that likes to be around me as well. When you mentioned in your response that since he is 15 he could be pretty set in his ways, it sounds a little discouraging. I want Bogart to have a home where he is happy, however I also want a bird that likes to be with me. Hmmmmmmm this is a hard decision. Many people get rehomed older birds that like one gender and not the other. Birds like that need a chance to come around to the gender that they don't like. That takes time and 2 days is no where enough time to make any judgements. A bird like that needs a chance to adjust as well as the new owner. You say you wanna return the bird and look for another one that likes females. Well, that's no guarantee that the new bird will like you. Birds make up their own minds. Like I said, 2 days isn't enough time to judge whether he's totally set in his ways. If you got a bird that likes females, is it fair to the males in your house? What has to be worked on is socializing the bird into a household with all members of the family. You're expecting too much in a very short amount of time. One major thing I would say----I don't think it's a good idea to be bringing a grey around where there's a bunch of kids . Greys are known to not like children and kids are known to not be able to resist contact with a parrot. If a parrot bites a kid it's serious. AND the parrot may turn on the owner because that person brought the bird into that uncomfortable situation. PS--many people here who have rehomed birds don't return birds because of what gender the bird prefers and those people have been successful in becoming friends with the bird. Getting a baby bird doesn't guarantee that the baby bird will eventually like the female or the male in the house. Many people here can tell you stories about that. Maybe you should think about getting a different type of parrot because greys are very complex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bms Posted February 13, 2013 Author Share Posted February 13, 2013 Thanks Dave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayd Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 (edited) The advice you have been given is spot on, A Grey might not be the best choice. In all kindness, a parrot isn't like a car, to trade and update when you get tired of it. Within this forum you can read many sad story's of re=homed parrots, parrots who live a life with out trust and with fear, who pluck and wither away, much worst with Greys whose mental process is almost human, suffer the same as a abandoned or unloved child. A bird especially a Grey transferred daily form home to school cannot develop the stability and routine needed for a comfortable healthy life style, a occasional visit is fine. You also have the possibly of disease transfer. Pleas study parrots in general to get a idea of their mental needs. Thank you Jayd Here's a site for you: http://www.avianweb.com/ Edited February 13, 2013 by Jayd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvparrots Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 BMS, you certainly have the wrong idea about greys/parrots in general. You can't just take a 15 year old grey/parrot to class and expect it to want to interact with children. Even a younger grey most likely would be very leery. On another note, we have another teacher who is a member here and he wanted to take his grey to class and found that it was not allowed. Have you checked to see if you can even bring your grey to class for the day. Frankly, I do not let children just touch my greys for all of their safety, including my greys. Also I have a Blue Front Amazon that I have had since he was 1 1/2 years old. Granted a grey and a zon each have totally different personalities. But back to my story, Louie belonged to a gentleman and when the man because ill his wife and children (a teenage girl and young son) put him outside because they say he was "wild". They sold him to me just before the weather turned cold. Louie does not like females and we have been working for 3 1/2 years on trust. However, Louie is a gem and I love him too pieces and would not trade him for the world. To be honest, in your place I would return Bogart as his previous owner truly cares for him, do more research into different species of parrots and start all over again looking for the parrot that fits into your lifestyle. I know what is is like to want a grey so good luck and I hope you find the right grey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayd Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Pleas remember, a Grey has the mental and emotions of a pre-schooler..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingy Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 I agree with the not liking children thing. My buddy has never been mistreated or teased by a child and yet he hates children and really short people because to him they are also children. He gets very upset, growls and gets very aggressive if a child/short person just walks in the room. I don't doubt for a minute that he would do some serious damage to a child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 (edited) One thing I will say in regards children and greys. We socialized dayo with 5 children between 6 and 12 years old. They were of course taught not to poke, jam, run, hop or tease dayo. I have several photos of dayo on their shoulders, arms etc. and enjoying it. He is not fearful and angry towards any child. 6 years later, they are older and teens now, but dayo loves it when they come over and will fly to them and greet them. He also calls each of them by name as he see's them come in.. Hi Jeff, Hi Crystal etc. It all depends on how the grey was brought up and socialized. A rescued or rehomed grey that was not socialized with children, will certainly react the way others described. Edited February 13, 2013 by danmcq Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayd Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 One thing I will say in regards children and greys. We socialized dayo with 5 children between 6 and 12 years old. They were of course taught not to poke, jam, run, hop or tease dayo. I have several photos of dayo on their shoulders, arms etc. and enjoying it. He is not fearful and angry towards any child. 6 years later, they are older and teens now, but dayo loves it when they come over and will fly to them and greet them. He also calls each of them by name as he see's them come in.. Hi Jeff, Hi Crystal etc.It all depends on how the grey was brought up and socialized. A rescued or rehomed grey that was not socialized with children, will certainly react the way others described. Please remember what Dan has said is true, most conditioning and attitude of our Greys good or bad comes from how we raise them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayd Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 The main reason a Grey or any parrot dislikes children is as Dan said "poke, jam, run, hop or tease" plus being loud and obnoxious, they can also sense odor and emotions. Remember our Greys can mentally senses potentially disagreeable situation. Greys see in the Ultra Violet, so their able to see the energy surrounding a person which in a child's case appear as excited. [in Metaphysical terms an "Aura"] In Wingy case of " a short person", the only plausible reason for dislike or fear is because a short person at one time did something against them, or emotions by the short person or someone in the room is foreboding. I base this or the statement's posted. Thank you Jay..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murfchck Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 To toss in my 2¢ here. Our 2nd rehomed grey disliked me greatly. When we picked her up, she gave me kisses, flew to me, the whole 9 yards. I know now she was just acting, she would have kisses a horse to get out of that place! It has been many, many months but i can now pick her up if i need too. She tolerates me but would gladly kick me out of my house to be alone with my husband. A grey is not for everyone, they really are fragile. Their emotions are great as are their needs. All the you tube videos and books that are out are great no doubt, but they don't tell you about or show you the greys that don't talk or won't play or are too scared to even leave their cage. A grey should come home with you only if you can accept him or her for who they are and if you are ready to put in the time they need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timbersmom Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 LOL to the "kiss a horse" analogy. Haaaa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffNOK Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 My heart really goes out to you (Bms). When I got my grey I was very inexperienced with parrots and knew that for me I needed to start with a young bird. I didn't feel equipped to best serve the needs of a rehome. I also very much desired a bond and connection with my grey and knew my odds were best with a baby that didn't have fears, established preferences, or outright dislikes. If I had longed for a grey and then adopted an older rehome that didn't like me, I would have been really discouraged. You are not a bad person or in any way irresponsible to consider returning the bird and starting again with a baby. You have only had him a short while and he may be better off somewhere else. This is a personl decision. Now that I have had my grey for a little over a year, I think I would be open to a rehome that might have some baggage. I have more confidence and knowledge about greys that would help me in that endeavor. Search your heart and make the best decision you can for yourself. I wish you the best and keep us posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayd Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Bms, a good and wise choice, but I know you could have done it..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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