Bms Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 I bought a 15 year old Grey 2 days ago. His previous owner was a male, so naturally he will let all 3 males in my family hold him, but not me. I am female. I know it may take time, but help please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pixburgh29 Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Can't offer any advice but welcome to the forum! The experts will be able to make some suggestions i'm sure. Make a thread in the introduction room to introduce yourself and your grey . Everyone seems to really love pictures here also so if you have some, post it with your introduction. There are a lot of people that have re-homed greys so i'm sure someone else has had this problem before also. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aerial.2000 Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 it takes a long time. You just brought your baby home, give it time. you also need to maybe be ready to not be the "chosen" one for your new addition. it'll be ok there is still lots you can do and you might even be able to atleast change some of that. I am the chosen one for my baby however my hubby was dead set on not having an animal he was not able to hold or work with so, he endured the puffing up and the nips and bites and worked with Marco and didnt give up now marco responds really well to him but Im still her chosen Ive had marco for a year so .... it takes time, talk with your new baby, establish small steps and work on gaining trust. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayd Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 it takes a long time. You just brought your baby home, give it time. you also need to maybe be ready to not be the "chosen" one for your new addition. it'll be ok there is still lots you can do and you might even be able to atleast change some of that. I am the chosen one for my baby however my hubby was dead set on not having an animal he was not able to hold or work with so, he endured the puffing up and the nips and bites and worked with Marco and didnt give up now marco responds really well to him but Im still her chosen Ive had marco for a year so .... it takes time, talk with your new baby, establish small steps and work on gaining trust. Good example and proper solid advice, welcome..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bms Posted February 13, 2013 Author Share Posted February 13, 2013 Thanks for you adivce. It is a little discouraging, but I will give it time. I am the one that really wanted the bird, I am the one that is willing to give it time and attention. I actually had planned on taking it back and forth from my home to my 6th grade classroom everyday, so that he is never alone. I can't very well do that when he will not even let me pick him up. Have either of you ever heard of using a perch to have him step up on instead of my hand? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Hello Bms and welcome to our family. Yes you can use a perch or stick to have him step up on it, some of the members here do exactly that at times with their grey. I know how disappointed you are since you were the one that wanted the bird and the bird likes males and not females but time and lots of patience will help to form a good relationship with him, maybe not as good as with the males of the family but something you can live with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayd Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Two examples: Spock, egg raised and Joe, Abused rescue. Spock, I was number one for 1 year, changed over to Maggie, Joe I was and still is number 1. Main difference, Anything light Spock would favor Maggie, Joe, won't accept treats from Maggie, and he won't eat dinner from me, This goes for all our parrots. A parrot,[Grey] can bond equally to more than one person, minor a simply thing they favor from another.....Problem, it takes time, you cannot put a limit on it and it happens in stages...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aerial.2000 Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 I am not sure what makes one grey favor one person over another .... what makes them favor a male over a female ... ALL i know is it takes time, and if you feel discouraged your baby will know that as well. Stay positive... chin up and I use a perch to get marco DOWN from high places cuz shes a stinker but thats it other wise its my hand ... course she used to step up nicely on it NOW shes more into chewing it and pushing it away versus stepping up on it ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acappella Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 I wouldn't worry about step-up right now. To put it in perspective, Dorian was with me almost four years before he stepped up for me, longer before he would step up from inside his cage. I also wouldn't worry about taking him into school. I know your intentions are great, but kids running at break, bells ringing, school announcements on the PA, these would all be hard on most greys. They tend to be hyper-vigilant about new things, loud noises, fast movement. Your new fid must already be nervous because he's been removed from his 'flock' and plunked in a new place. If you want to make taking him into school for a sort of show and tell day for your class that's great, but I'd resign myself to it not happening this year. Of course all birds are different. If yours turns out to be one of the more resilient souls than you will be able to speed up the timetable. The important thing right now is to focus on building trust. Give him some control over his environment. The cage time while you're at school isn't necessarily a bad thing right now. Right now his cage is his safe zone. Make sure the cage is up against at least one wall so he doesn't have to guard himself from all angles. Leave him some simple foraging toys, a roll of adding machine paper, whatever type of toy he's comfortable with. Leave a tv or radio on low. I'd even turn down the phone ringer. (That's experience speaking. When Dorian first came to me the phone rang and it scared him so much he took off and flew into a wall). A little quiet time during the day to check out his new home from the safety of his cage might help him settle in. Then when you get home spend some time sitting by him, talking to him. Open his door and let him choose whether to come out or not. Don't push him to step up for you. He may do it right now out of fear and insecurity about what is happening, but that's not a good basis for a relationship long-term. If he does seem willing to step up, hold him for only a few moments and them return him to his safe zone. "Alway leave them wanting more" is a good axiom to remember. There's a good reason that patience is one of the most often used words here. If you can slow down your desires and expectations, the rewards are huge. A re-homed bird that decides to trust you and form a new flock after losing the only one he has known is a gift. After all, he's only 15 years old. Yes, he'll be more set in his ways than a baby, but he's still got decades to go in a healthy life. Try to start thinking in terms of weeks, months, years, and one day you'll look back and be amazed at the unique relationship you've established. We're here to cheer you along the road. Lots of us have walked it before you. If you want to read about one of 'our' fids journeys, check out the "Gilbert is Home" thread in the Rescue forum room. <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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