Oscar's training journal

[MoonRock]

Dan and others in the know, could you direct me to the probably very old thread or article about how and when to introduce two Greys? I imagine the article was written circa 1974 and features photos of Greys in disco pants and Afros doing a secret talon shake. Introducing two Greys- How and When to Proceed. Can Ya Dig It?

[MoonRock]

As many of you are aware, I started a "training" journal for Oscar. Perhaps I should have called it a "trust, then teaching" journal. I changed my attitude from "Love me Oscar, oh please do love and trust me!" to "Hey buddy Oscar, in time you may trust me. I would like to show you how I am going to treat you, and how I like to be treated."

 

It may seem strange, the part about how I want to show Oscar how I like to be treated. But I feel that respect and kindness works both ways, and I doubt Oscar would grow to trust me if I promised him the moon but didn't expect any particular behavior in return. I don't like being bitten, that's very basic. And Oscar is doing a wonderful job learning (choosing?) to trust me lately. I think the pivotal moment was when I decided to avoid those bites as best I could, rather than do things to Oscar that I really wanted to do but knew the consequence would be a bite to my hand or arm.

 

For example, I was nearly bitten when I touched Oscar's gorgeous tail, and the time I smooched him on the beak. These days I only do as much as Oscar allows, and for quite some time that meant that cage bars were always between us. Amazingly, the less I pushed Oscar to like me/ trust me/ step up/ talk/ etc., the better results I got. I don't touch Oscar unless he seems to practically be begging for it. This may be a much different approach than establishing trust with a new, baby Grey, but remember- not only did Oscar's trust in me need gentle nurturing to grow, but it had been so thoroughly trampled by essentially every single person who came before me. I was starting with a damaged bird (and I say this with all due respect to Oscar).

 

It is so much easier to avoid getting bitten when I don't give Oscar the opportunity to do so! If my nose gets too close to Oscar's beak as he sits atop his cage while I am cleaning it, I will move, say a little something to Oscar in a nice voice ("Oh buddy, I'm going to clean this corner here right now.") as I move away from a potential bite. I do not praise Oscar for refraining to bite me if he lunges and I simply got myself away. What I am trying to emphasize are my efforts to move away/ do something else/ ask Oscar what he needs before he could even process that he wants to bite me. This takes very quick thinking, and keeps me much more in tune with Oscar's moods and wishes. The basis of my ability to think of what Oscar may/ may not do before it happens is our growing trust.

 

A wonderful moment occurred during Oscar's last (very short) flight. Once again he was hanging out on Ellie's cage, and I needed him to come back to his own. I was encouraging him with as much noise and praise as a parent of a little league-er! I kept shouting, "Oscar, come here! You could do it Oscar! Flap, flap, flap! Fly to me, Oscar!" And guess what? Oscar flew to me (or at least to his cage)! I praised him even more after he landed, and he was so pumped with pride (as evidenced by happy, puffed-up feathers and "crazy" pupils) that he totally ignored the peanut I offered! I had always paired a peanut with praise for Oscar, even if all I was doing was giving Oscar a little treat for the afternoon through the cage bars. "Good boy, thanks for taking that peanut so nicely!" So after Oscar's short flight, he opted for praise over the peanut! Oscar wanted my praise more than a treat! What an amazing moment for us both.

 

I hope this post is in line with what we are all talking about. I am basically trying to say, whether "teaching" or "training", I feel trust is fundamental to both. As for me and Oscar? I think we prefer to teach each other. I like a bite-free existence, and Oscar thrives on praise.

[danmcq]

I look at this as a learning experience for you both. You hit the nail on the head using the word "Trust". It is being built between the both of you, not just a one way street. In a rescue case such as this, I view it more as "Learning" experience for you both through trial and error as you both build this relationship. All relationships ships in life end up at some point in time reaching a level it will level off and remain at forever. It is based upon trust and love in varying degrees until hitting the maximum level of each individuals "Desired" point. Some end up in full and true love, others in a close friendship or a guarded friendship. That level is not fully matured and known sometimes until several months or even years have passed. This of course is dependent upon each individuals commit to the process.

 

I personally do not think this involves teaching or training at all. I is a purely learning experience for both as interacting with each other brings about the likes and dislikes of each others comfort levels and safety zones.

 

Maybe I am way off base here, but thats my thoughts on this particular case of you two coming in to each others lives and the present situation destiny has thrown at you both.

[MoonRock]

I finally went for it and opened Ellie's cage and Oscar's cage at the same time. I had expected they would immediately come out and greet (or spar), but Ellie stayed put in her cage. No amount of coaxing, even with grapes and peanuts, could tear her away from the ring swing she loves. So I gave up and sat patiently with Oscar, who now marches right up to me and gives an assertive step-up offer (he juts out his talon and expects me to pick him up and immediately give him a peanut- or else)!

 

Ellie finally ventured out of her cage, probably because she saw all the fun Oscar was having with foraging for (demanding) peanuts. Ellie tentatively moved towards the center of my bed where Oscar and the peanuts were. At times Oscar pointedly turned his tail towards Ellie, and she did the same to Oscar a few times. I am not sure what that means... Soon enough, Ellie gave a quick tug on Oscar's tail, who looked immediately annoyed and turned around quickly to "tell off" Ellie. Ellie toodled the heck out of there, which was hysterical.

 

Oscar got very still when he and Ellie were side by side. I think he was nervous, which in turn seemed to make Ellie nervous. But more peanuts were forthcoming, and the first thing Ellie said when she and Oscar met beak to beak was something like "Oops!" Hahaha!

 

So while not (yet) Best Friends Forever, Oscar and Ellie seem tentatively pleased to have met That Other Grey.

[danmcq]

What an interesting meeting out of cage between the two. Ellie may not realize yet that oscar is blind in one eye. She will learn that eventually. Turning their back to another is normally indicative of just ignoring the other kind of...

 

It takes a bit for a relationship to develop over time.

[Branden Cohen]

Thanks for posting this journal, I am learning a lot.

[katana600]

I am sorry I was missing this thread while I was away. I am getting caught up again and thoroughly enjoyed reading about your introduction with Oscar. As moderator of the Rescue Bird Haven I think your experience and a thread over there would be an excellent complement to the other folks over there successfully navigating the slow process of building trust and loving "a parrot with a past". If you link it to this thread, newcomers just reading and thinking and wondering about offering to adopt a grey will have a more complete overview of similarities in the process. It would be lovely to have several threads going of rehomes in different stages of progress. Thanks for journaling your experience, it is a lifelong commitment and journey and I appreciate seeing others who understand that. Great job with Oscar and Ellie. I am looking forward to catching up some more on her threads.