Oscar's training journal

[MoonRock]

3/1/13 AM: Oscar woke up very happy, dancing about and ready to start the day. The first part of Oscar that he will readily let me touch? His beak! His big, scary, black, hook-billed beak! I do not attempt to touch Oscar's beak when he is out of the cage, as I feel we would both be too anxious about that. But while Oscar perches inside his cage, and he scritches his beak against the bars or otherwise entertains himself, I can lightly and playfully "pet" his beak when he sticks it out.

[MoonRock]

3/2/13 AM: Oscar woke up on the wrong side of the perch this morning! When I went in to uncover his cage, he postured a bit, puffed up, and I think his good eye briefly pinned. He seemed to be calmer a few moments later so I offered him his usual spicy pellets (he also eats fruity Zupreem). However, when I opened the feeding station door to offer the spicy pellets bowl, he tried to bite me! These days that is unusual.

 

But... After firmly but without anger saying, "Be nice!", and leaving the room for a moment, Oscar whistled for me to come back. I came just into the doorway and leaned in while keeping my hand on the door frame. Oscar copied me and leaned way off of his perch, and then rotated his body around to be diagonal on the other side (just like his human did). He seriously looked like he was using a hula hoop, which got us both laughing. Oscar now appears to be in a good mood. He is whistling and making other happy sounds.

[Timbersmom]

LOL Sounds like you interrupted a good dream!

[danmcq]

We all have those mornings, that the last thing we want is someone to pull the blankets back and be expected to just be happy about it. It's like give me a second to do system checks, focus my eye(s) and come to the realization I am awake and not in that bad dream I was just having. I love hearing the interactions you and Oscar are coming up with that are intriguing and enjoyable to you both.

[MoonRock]

3/3/13 afternoon: Today started out mundane enough. But then a few friends came over briefly and dropped off some heavy Costco items, and we all left the door open as we went in and out of the apartment. After everyone left, I realized my cat Dracula was missing. He is an all-black cat without a collar on, and he has never been outside (since I rescued him with the help of San Francisco SPCA's Feral Fix Program, a decade ago).

 

I panicked! I wandered around my neighborhood, loudly tapping a cat food can with a fork and calling out "Dracula, kitty! Here, kitty kitty!" This went on for a good 30 minutes, and as I became increasingly worried (which was very apparent in my desperate calls out to my cat) I began to hear Oscar's velOSCARaptor scream. I seriously heard him from three doors down, and for once I did not worry for one second about bothering the neighbors. I had to find my cat!

 

Oscar screamed as I called out for Dracula, my voice shaky and my pace quickening. I checked under cars, in bushes, everywhere as I searched for my beloved cat. I kept coming back into the apartment to check around the house for Dracula, but he was nowhere to be found. I knew he had gotten out when the door was left open.

 

And then, there he was: Dracula hiding under the kitchen sink cabinet. This was surprising because I had already checked there, and Dracula is usually very good about coming when I call him.

 

From the next room, Oscar was still making a big fuss. I went in to see Oscar, after scolding/ hugging my cat and giving him some food. I said to Oscar, "It's OK now, I found Dracula." Immediately the screaming stopped, and if I didn't know any better I think Oscar understood in some way that my panic (nearing terror) was over, and that everything was now fine.

 

What do you all think?

 

P.S. I put Dracula's collar back on. If it ever comes off again, I will reattach it immediately. If you have cats, please get them collars because you never know. And I promise, they DO get used to wearing them.

[Luvparrots]

What it means is that Oscar reads you very well and is very in tune to your feelings. It goes to show that my belief is quite true that our greys so want to belong and watch us closely and can read us very nicely. So relax, be calm and self-assured and I'll bet Oscar will do the same. You are a very caring animal lover. I enjoy reading this thread.

[danmcq]

Greys without a doubt feed off your emotions. Once you took a breath and calmed down, Oscar did as well.

[kins2321@yahoo.com]

Oscar is going to be a great friend! Nancy

[MoonRock]

3/4/13 PM: So I admit, I am rather stressed out today. My horrid downstairs neighbor was supposed to move out 2/28 (due to eviction, she's that bad) but she remains in the apartment, essentially squatting. Given my intense anxiety and discomfort about this situation, it is no surprise that Oscar is picking up on my feelings and displaying some degree of stress all his own. I am trying to keep my upset in check, but it's hard, and after the tenth velOSCARaptor scream tonight, I shushed my poor CAG! That's right, I shushed him! Oscar looked stunned and immediately quieted down, but I am painfully aware that this served to teach him that I will give him attention when he screams, and that he is not allowed to express his discomfort. I feel like such an a**.

 

It's strange, as the days pass it is increasingly evident that Oscar and I are forging a deep connection. Oscar watches me, studies me, and mimics me. He doesn't just mimic my body language or laughter, either, he now mimics my moods. For his sake, as well as my own, I think I need to tone it down in my head about the neighbor. As the old adage goes, "This too, shall pass"...

[Blueberrytunes]

Dearest Moonrock, we have probably all "shushed" our various animal companions from time to time. Even Kya "shushes" Rosie, as I just wrote about! (And I really don't believe she feels badly for it, either, heh.) So, perhaps you could explain the situation to Oscar, ask for his forgiveness and let him know you intend not to do that again, and then have some FUN with him! He's a smart bird, and I bet he would understand. Maybe a peekaboo game with lots of animation! : )

 

You and Oscar are doing GREYT!! Keep it coming!

[MoonRock]

3/5/13 AM: Oscar woke up laughing this morning! He continued to laugh in small bursts for what must have been ten minutes, and then he paired it with "Hello! Hello! Hello!" I seriously love this bird.

[MoonRock]

I managed to get in a tiny, tiny head rub. Oscar's head was very close to the cage bars, so I stuck my finger in and gave him a tiny scritch. He didn't react at all, but at least he didn't bite me. Progress?

[Blueberrytunes]

Yes, progress. Positive experience is a deposit in the TRUST bank. Yay! : )

[danmcq]

I managed to get in a tiny, tiny head rub. Oscar's head was very close to the cage bars, so I stuck my finger in and gave him a tiny scritch. He didn't react at all, but at least he didn't bite me. Progress?

 

Indeed!!!!!!

[MoonRock]

3/7/13 PM: Tonight Oscar was the loudest he's ever been since I brought him home. This time, though, it was pretty clear why Oscar was screaming: Jealousy. Now, as I write, I can chuckle about what happened, but at the time I was pretty steamed.

 

Oscar's cage is within view of my three rats. Birds and rats really don't mix, so I have to be extra careful when handling anybody within sight of the other species. I am certain Oscar had already picked up on my "starting tension" (my internal resolve not to mess anything up, and to keep everyone safe, while cleaning cages). After a few moments of attending to the rats first, Oscar began to scream. I always do Oscar last, as he likes to "direct" me and also he is still in quarantine. So, startled by the first few screams, I turned and faced Oscar. He immediately quieted down, and once again he fooled me into giving him exactly what he wanted: 100% attention, when all I needed was maybe 20 minutes to clean and redecorate the cages. I was annoyed by Oscar's manipulation, and Oscar was annoyed by my "failure" to do what was expected of me (ignore the rats and play with him- after all, rats are incredibly inferior to birds, or so says Oscar). I kept on with my cage cleaning, my back to Oscar, and Oscar kept on screaming.

 

It was difficult, but I was trying to teach Oscar about sharing my attention (and this is particularly important now- I have sworn Blueberrytunes to secrecy but I do have something up my sleeve which I will share with the other forum folks within a few weeks). So, Oscar needs to learn how to share. And I need to learn how to self-soothe when a CAG is screaming bloody murder in my ear!

 

So Oscar screamed and screamed, until one moment when he made a scream-sound that made me think, immediately, "This is the sound he made when someone hurt him." Of course, I have no way of knowing this. It was simply an automatic thought paired with a feeling in my bones. It was a scream shortened by a stunned silence. That is the best description I can give.

 

I turned around, after the painful-sounding scream, knowing that Oscar was reliving something somehow. He got very quiet as I looked at him, his pupil wide and his expression... lost.

 

I wonder if my purposeful (momentary) neglect of Oscar brought up some bad memories for him, and/ or his screams in the past have brought on harsh punishment.

 

Besides the other day, when I shushed Oscar, my "punishment" of his screams has always been reasonable. Turn my back, walk out of the room, or turn up the music. And always, I praise for silence.

 

The moral of this story is that it is becoming almost shockingly apparent how sensitive Oscar is. I admit, at times when he drives me nuts I tend to make the assumption that he doesn't get all that upset about things, partly because he's already been through so much but also, if he was oh so bonded to me already then why won't he let me hold him??

 

Yes, I now see that Oscar is bonding pretty tightly to me, with the full range of emotions: enmeshment, jealousy, humor, gratitude, friendship, annoyance... I understand, now, that Oscar doesn't have to be a cuddly bird for him to be realizing he needs me on some level. And I think that scares him. I know sometimes it scares me.

 

Forgive me if this is all conjecture, or anthropomorphizing. All I can go with is what I observed of Oscar's behavior, though I realize I have added a lot of "feeling" to this entry.

 

Indeed, it is hard not to "feel" for a bird like Oscar.

 

8+ years of neglect, it's no wonder I read recently that parrots can indeed suffer from PTSD.

[Blueberrytunes]

Okay so this disturbs me the same way a baby crying disturbs me when the mother won't sooth the child. Perhaps it's my innate tendency to try to sooth a disturbed soul. Oscar was clearly upset by something. Did you ask him what was wrong? Did you talk to him while you attended to the rats cages?

 

It may sound silly, tho these birds are smart, as we know, and explaining what you are doing can be helpful. I know that when I am in the kitchen preparing food and Emeka is on his tree playstand 12 feet from me while Kya sits on her kitchen stand in front of me, he sometimes flutters his wings, vocalizes his nervous clicks, imitates the cockatiel scream... any number of sounds, almost like going thru his repertoire of distressing sounds in an attempt to get me to either go to him or pick him up and bring him to where I am preparing food so he can be in closer proximity to me (and perhaps to Kya, as well). When I have done this, he seems content. If I let him walk down his cage, which I sometimes do, he will trek on over to the kitchen and hang out near a corner on the floor and either watch me wash veggies (or whatever I am doing) or get curious about a paper bag sitting on the floor.

 

So, the expression you describe on his face reminds me of learned helplessness. I wonder if precious Oscar had experiences which were swirling in learned helplessness. I would not at all be surprised. That is a MOST distressing state, this learned helplessness. I think I would go WAY out of my way to avoid any ignoring of Oscar (for the time being, anyway) given his presumed history, even when he does something that doesn't resonate with you, such as various sounds. Biting, of course, is a different matter, tho the sounds he makes that you find less than appealing? I would find another way to communicate to Oscar that you find those sounds unappealing, that they hurt your ears, and they drain you of energy. See what sort of response that gets you. I bet Oscar will understand your communication and then you can incorporate your cleaning (of other animals' cages and such) with little stories for Oscar, while reminding him often that the other cages need cleaning, too, so that the other animals stay healthy like him. Ask him opinions of things, like is the rat cage clean enough, or does he think the rabbits need more carrot greens... etc.

 

He's one smart bird! Try to leave ignoring on the curb outside for the time being. Oscar strikes me as being above that ignoring biz, dahlink. ; )

[danmcq]

Very good comments and thoughts Blueberrytunes. My wife and I both explain to Dayo what we are doing when he becomes needy as we do whatever task it is that requires him to be caged. After a while, they will calm to some extent and will even start describing what you are dong as you do it. They will also still become a little noisy if your taking a little too long due to their anticipation of how long you are allowed and they believe it is now their time your on. Patience is not one of their virtues.

 

Oscar without a doubt has emotions and displays them. Greys are a very emotional species and carries their emotions on the cuff. It could be that attention is not the only thing Oscar is upset about. Rats can climb through cage bars and harm or kill a bird. Oscar may have had a bad experience with a rat while being left in the garage in his past for example. Hopefully as Oscar gets used to your routine and chores and his emotional display will lessen over time.

Edited March 8, 2013 by danmcq

[MoonRock]

3/9/13 afternoon: Oscar is in a good mood today, in spite of our upsetting experience of a few days ago. I was so determined to extinguish his screaming behavior that I neglected to investigate what was bothering Oscar in the first place. I had to take some deep breaths, paired with a couple days away from the forum, in order to help me process the responses I had received to my account of the cage cleaning incident. I did not want to be defensive, as I understand Blueberrytunes, Dan, and those who thanked them for their posts want what is best for Oscar. And looking back, it is obvious to me that ignoring Oscar's screaming was not what was best for him in those difficult moments.

 

Oscar has a long memory but is quick to forgive. Yesterday he was more wary of me than usual (as evidenced by his dilated pupil, feather puffing, and less pursuing of me as I moved around his cage). However, Oscar was quick to laugh when I made jokes and did funny dances, and seemed to relax more as I talked to him. Both Blueberrytunes and Dan emphasized the importance of communicating with Oscar in a very clear way: "Oscar, should I put this cozy, blue blanket down for the rats? I'm going to clean your cage next, could I put in this extra perch?..." Oscar loves it when I talk to him, and can also be soothed from anger (and the screaming I dislike) if I make jokes or otherwise let him know "it's no big deal". I have also read on here that making a "sad face" paired with a slight head shake can also be useful in getting a Grey to quiet down.

 

Thanks, folks, for reading and responding to my journal. I want my Grey buddy to thrive. :cool:

[Blueberrytunes]

I have had the benefit of Male Umbrella Cockatoo training (of me, that is!!) and have had strong lessons in "see EVERYTHING thru the parrot's eyes, from the parrot's point of view. EVERYTHING." This has given me GREYT benefits with my Greys, Cockatiels, and my Poodle. Even reaching for anything in the vicinity of Miss Kya when she is on her "kitchen perch" is preceded with a "May I..." rather than "I'm going to..." and then I wait for a few seconds for a response. If she offers no words, I study her body language for some communication of "yes, that's fine" or "no, not right now" and then I proceed based on her response. If she gives me body language that suggests "no..." then I will find another way to reach for that something I need that is in her vicinity. It takes a few more seconds of time, tho the trust with her that builds from this exchange is worth gold.

 

And... I completely meant no offense in my post. That you take such care in communicating what's happening with Oscar, is tremendously helpful in learning - for all of us who read the posts. ; )

[MoonRock]

Here is today's entry from "Mary's training journal" from the 4 the birds section of the forum. Oscar had a few things he wanted to say.

 

http://www.greyforums.net/forums/showthread.php?198380-Mary-s-training-journal&p=280420#post280420

[danmcq]

Ok, I guess I am spoiled. Need an update on Oscar. I am starting to go through withdrawals.

[MoonRock]

3/13/13 PM: Oscar indicates he is happy in a few different ways- going through all of his sounds one after the other, standing on his perch very close to me while I sit by his cage, and poppin' out with his new "Hahahaha-hello!"

 

An explanation of each: When Oscar goes through all of his sounds, he tosses his head lightly about as if pleased with himself, occasionally pairing it with wing flapping. He taps this way and that on his perch, as if imitating my terrible dancing. He seems enthusiastic but calm when he does his "sounds sampler", as I like to call it.

 

When Oscar perches very close to me as I sit by his cage, he appears relaxed, as evidenced by his smooth feathers (not puffed up with excitement). He rubs his beak against the bars playfully. Also, and this is the best part, he will allow me to pat his head with my finger. Sometimes this makes him nervous and he scoots to the end of the perch away from me, but more and more often he lets me touch him through the bars. This is nice progress. The veterinarian wants me to keep Oscar in his cage for quarantine and training purposes, treating Oscar with small bits of nut and talking to him during this "getting to know you" period. I am dying to let Oscar out (and sometimes I do) but getting him back into his cage can be an upsetting experience for us both. So, once again, I will adhere to doctor's orders. Any thoughts, Dan and others, about Oscar's lack of a reaction when I touch his head? Unless he scoots away, he simply acts like I haven't done a thing. But this is a big deal! Hmm...

 

Oscar's new "Hahahaha-hello!" is very charming, and he usually says this when something amusing has happened. For example, I dropped something near his cage, which startled him for a second. When I said "It's no big deal!" in a silly voice, he gave me a "Hahahaha-hello!"

 

Oscar had a fairly quiet day today, and some fun following me around his cage. He watched the door a lot, which surprised me because I was right there with him, so who was he waiting for? I do wonder if he misses his former owner, as neglectful as she was. Or perhaps he dreads having to see her again? I really don't know.

 

Oscar is blossoming, but we really are operating on the very slow Grey Time. When Oscar is ready, I will handle him. Until then, I will make do with an occasional head pat.

[danmcq]

"Any thoughts, Dan and others, about Oscar's lack of a reaction when I touch his head? Unless he scoots away, he simply acts like I haven't done a thing. But this is a big deal! Hmm..."

 

It is very big deal! That is a huge move forward for Oscar on the trust scale. Allowing you to touch him is a very intimate thing. Moving away does not mean he is fearful. It just means he does not want a touching session right then. He just wantsto sit side by side and enjoy each others company and closeness. Greys are all like this in regards touching and scratching moments versus they just want to sit and chill times with you. GreYt job on being so patient and loving.

[kins2321@yahoo.com]

Moonrock... We LOVE the journals! I am glad you can respect everyone's opinion and take it in stride. Now.... regarding pupil dilitation... that means your bird is receptive. pupil constriction and dilitation means one of two things: either learning, or a warning. Complete pupil constricting... I suggest you backoff. Feather fluffing or waving of feathers,is anyone's guess. I always taught my birds away from their cage, once they learned to stepup. I have NEVER put my hand inside a cage to get any of my birds to come out. OUCH! Nancy

[MoonRock]

3/22/13 AM: I have not posted to Oscar's training journal in many days, as lately our bonding and training has been happening at a glacial pace. This is not to say that no bonding and training is taking place. In fact, when I look back at when Oscar first met me, I am quite impressed with how far he has come. His velOSCARaptor screams are now clearly intended to get my attention, whereas when I first met Oscar his screams were definitely a warning: "Stay away!" Oscar quite likes me, at least when there are cage bars between us, and I can see the difference in his mood when I have busier days (and therefore less time to spend with him). On these busy days, Oscar is more grumpy, even somewhat needy. His grumpiness looks like puffed-up feathers (and not in the brief, playful puff way). he will also be more inclined to try to bite me. However, he will also be needy on such days, as evidenced by frequent calls to me, smooshing himself closer to the cage bars when I approach, and attempts to impress me with his in-cage acrobatics.

 

Do not worry, fine folks of the forum. I am receptive to these attempts at getting my attention. If Oscar screams, I will wait a moment until he is quiet and then praise him for his silence and hang out with him for a while, even if I am "super busy". I chose Oscar, he didn't choose me- so even if I have a work deadline, a meeting to go to or whatnot, I owe it to him to be receptive to, and meet, his needs.

 

I will say, one of the reasons I felt so good about adopting (rescuing, really) Oscar is that I have a very limited work schedule. I only work about 15 hours a week for most of the month. I do have busy days where I teach for 8 hours (!), but that is rare. So Oscar and I get lots of good bonding/ training time in.

 

Nancy, thanks for noticing that I make a point to appreciate and understand what folks on the forum have to say about my work with Oscar. Blueberrytunes and I are becoming good friends (we know each other outside of the forum) and she was my biggest critic with regards to ignoring Oscar's screams. The bottom line is, everyone is here because we want what is best for our Greys and everyone else's Greys, too! If someone has a suggestion for me, I will read it and consider it. In my experience, when advice is offered on this forum it is done carefully and with respect. And I am certainly not immune to mistakes.

 

Oscar continues to enjoy his "I'm a little teapot"/ hula hoop dance. He grips his favorite perch with his talons and leans far off of it. I would worry he could fall if he wasn't well, a Grey, or so very joyful when he does this (so obviously he is not worried about toppling over)! I will try to get some video footage of his teapot/ hula hoop moves to share.

 

While "not a talker", Oscar is quite clear about his preferences, moods, and desires. I do encourage Oscar's (human) speech by requiring a "Yeah" when I ask him if he wants a nut/ treat/ etc. This is not difficult for him to say, and it enhances our communication. His "No" is a stony silence, haha. I believe I recounted the time when I asked an already crop-stuffed Oscar if he wanted a nut, and tested his silent refusal by offering him the nut anyway. Oscar took the nut and angrily chucked it away. We both knew, even before the nut-chucking, that Oscar did not want one. It would almost be easier if I played dumb with Oscar, but we both know that he communicates perfectly well without much human speech.

 

It breaks my heart that Oscar seems to have been treated as a novelty for years, with humans hoping he would provide some "parlor tricks" by talking and doing other parrot things. Oscar is as smart as the Greys that do talk, he simply communicates through body language and sounds. It's a shame his past humans didn't try to decipher what he was telling them, though I would suspect even if he chatted a blue streak his past humans still wouldn't have "gotten" him.