help me please

[dazza]

i recently purchased a tag (charlie) approx 4 months ago to start with everything was great he started to settle in, stopped plucking and i was shocked how fast he was coming to me and my wife then the former owner got in touch with me and asked for the carrier back that i brought him home in, i had no problem with that and as i was at work she went round to my house as the wife was at home as she was their she wanted to check on charlie my wife took her in to see him when charlie made a screech then things started going wrong now charlie cant stand my wife any time he is near her her runs at her he has really gone off her he is fine with me and if im there he does back off but we have tried allsortsto get him to like her again but nothing seems to work he is just getting worse we need help can anyone please suggest anything

 

thanks in advance

[James_Hayes]

I had this problem with my bird not to long ago i have a grey and she tolerated my mom but that was it so i would have the bird step from my hand to hers and she would pet and talk to the bird after they stood their for a while i had them do a "step up" exercise where the bird just steps up from one hand to another this takes time but it might work just let charlie know your wife wont hurt him. if you want to id research some similar situations! hope this helps!

[dazza]

thanks im so at a loss my wife loves him to pieces and like i said to start with he was great but now he is so aggresive towards her. we are both prepared to give it time and take it slow

[birdhouse]

It's always about guessing until you get it right or the fid finally works It out on it's own. To me, it would not appear that Charlie was very fond of this lady. I think your wife is taking the fall out for some misplaced aggression. It really seems possible Charlie was actually afraid of the woman. It may be throwing more fuel on the fire at the moment. Also, he may have thought the carrier meant he was going back & he certainly seems to want no part of that.

 

So you've got a kind of major set back going on. But you & your wife have already proven that you can bond w/Charlie & that's the biggest hurdle cleared. Your wife needs to rebuild the trust she didn't mean to lose by starting from the beginning, again. No pushing, no expectations. Just patience & good intentions. You can also put in a good word for her, as it were. Encourage them to be around each other when he's w/you for reassurance. But only as long as Charlie looks comfortable w/it. Then it's a matter of how long it takes him to get over what just sounds to me like his fear.

 

Also, really hope the mean lady won't be back...?

[danmcq]

Birdhouse gave good comments and advice.

 

UGH, just had a thread about previous owners never being allowed to see their Grey at the new owners home. It normally leads to a change in the grey's behavior.

 

As already mentioned, it's back to square one for your wife with time and patience to get this straightened back out. Thank god you were not home as well. Otherwise the visit would have been associated with you probably as well.

[dazza]

i will give you a little background when i went to go see charlie he was in a small room on his own with no interaction and by what i could figure out he very rarely came out his cage he had started plucking his feathers. since he has been with us he is in the kitchen (main thorough fare in our house) my daughter takes the cover off him every morning with a very excited 'morning charlie boy' when i am home he has his cage open all the time. and in answer to the previous post hell no their will be no more visits from the previous owner. anymore advice is welcome and very grateful

[kins2321@yahoo.com]

All had great advice. I agree, your wife is suffering the punishment I think your Charlie wanted to " dish out", to his original owner. Back to square one... but you'll get there again, I promise! Nancy

[birdhouse]

That little bit of background says to me that the major trigger was likely fear, then. That's going to make Charlie's trust issues harder to fix & it's probably best to let him tell you what he needs.

 

Fear means any uninvited contact gets a predator/prey response right now. That means Charlie automatically goes into defensive behavior w/o meaning too. Which also means he may bite anyone w/in reach, w/o meaning to. Just so you won't be surprised or take it personally if it happens. Think of it as accidental if you have to deal w/a bite at this point.

 

Every time he chases your wife off, it reinforces the wrong reaction. But he's going to continue as long as he's afraid. Or worse, he could give up & possibly start to pluck again. Maybe best to take a time out & your wife back off entirely for the moment & "ignore" Charlie.

 

In the meantime, she actually treats him like a new bird. Keeping her distance, just including him in conversations & whistling, or singing around him. Not really making much eye contact because a scared fid can mistaken it for stalking behavior.

 

Most Greys believe the world should revolve around them. They don't like to be ignored & reverse psychology often works to a parront's advantage. Once Charlie remembers that your wife's not actually the scary lady, he's likely to start asking for her attention, again. Then they'll be able to start making baby steps back towards normal.

 

I could be wrong but I'm guessing things should go more quickly from that point, because they already had a bond. But their relationship may still remain fragile & she may pay dues for the previous owner for a little while, yet.

 

Good luck. Please keep us posted. And if you wanted to start a general Welcome & Introduction thread, maybe tell us some more about Charlie, that would be great too.