What to do with re-homed grey with a trust issue

[Deke]

My wife and I received a rescued TAG that came from a very abusive home. Gracie had no problems with my wife or any other female but became almost violent when around a male. This is how I turned Gracie around.

I put Gracie's cage in the kitchen right behind where I sit. The kitchen is where I spend most of my time as I love to cook and have a nice TV to watch my sports. I first ignored Gracie and just let her rant and rage while getting use to me walking around and being almost next to her when I sit. Once she got use to me being around I would talk softly to her at a distance. Then would sit down, look right at her while again talking softly. When I felt confident she was relaxed with me I then opened the cage door and allowed her to come out where she would go to the top and play in her playground. This happened while I was sitting and ignored her as she played. I then took a homemade floor perch and stood it right in front of her cage which she came out to perch on. At this point she was only a foot away. After some time and trust, I would move her perch, with her on it, well away from her cage. (You must get your grey well away from her territory!) That is when the real training started. I taught her to step up and lay on her back in my hand while rubbing her tummy.

Gracie and I are now the best of buddy's and at the same time no longer fears males. Even though I am the only male she will interact with she will not get mean with my friends. This whole process did not happen overnight! It takes a lot of time, patients, compassion, and love.

If you decide to use this method then remember this, no matter how loud your Greys whistles and screams are, never, and I mean NEVER sound off to him/her! Never punish by tapping their beak or spraying with water. If they get too loud then simply walk away. Good luck to all who is in the situation that we were at one time. Best wishes

[danmcq]

Thanks Deke! This is a perfect example of how time, patience and love can turn a grey around that has been in a previously abusive home. The key is TIME. You did it right and let her determine for the most part the time periods between moving closer and closer.

[Luvparrots]

Great advice Deke. I re-homed a 1 1/2 year old BF zon who was owned by a male and whose wife put him outside when the husband because ill. When winter came the wife sold Louie to me. Louie is very leery of females so he and I have been working on a trust relationship for awhile. Louie is now 5 and follows me from room to room. I can get him in his cage just by asking. He lets me get close but loves to bite although not hard at least with me. He is a sweetheart and tries very hard to please me; just no touching. I love him to death. Louie is fun loving and loves to play, beat up his toys, ring his bells and destroy his wooden toys. I love his laughing eyes. He is the watch bird of my flock, he will not go into his cage until my greys are in first. He is the last to come get a treat. He is my sweetheart and guardian. Love, patience and understanding is the formula if you want to successfully give a neglected parrot a new forever home. Louie sets the pace, and I am good with that.

[Jayd]

Thank you.......................................

[MoonRock]

I am pleased you added, "NEVER sound off to him/ her!" I live in an apartment so tend to be very noise averse, which has only gotten more entrenched because I have a horrid neighbor who finds any reason she can to make trouble for me. So as you can imagine, a screaming Grey causes me a lot of stress. However, I refuse to beak-tap, spray water, or yell over Oscar. Granted, I have only had him for two days, but I am working hard on "extinguishing behavior" (ignoring/ walking away from screaming). I let him know what the accepted sounds and behaviors are by giving him more attention when he's "good", and less attention when he is "bad".

[Bms]

Thanks for sharing this. I just re-homed a 15 year old CAG and his name is Bogart. He only likes my husband and sons and they are not the ones that even really wanted him. I am willing to do what I need to and spend lots of time with Bogart. He is very aggressive when he is on his cage. I need to get some kind of perch like you mentioned to put in front of his cage. Then I can get him out of the room and begin training him. Right now I can't pick him up at all, so there is no way to get him off of his cage. I have only had Bogart for 2 days and I know it will take time. I hate to admit, I actually thought I maybe should return him to his original owner and get a newly hatched CAG. Thanks for your post, I will try what you suggested!

[Timbersmom]

I'm glad you are going to give him some time. The thing is, you have no guarantee that a newly hatched baby would favor you over the others in the house either. Like people, they love who they love and it isn't always the one who loves them the most! I think with time and patience you will have a good relationship with Bogart. My rehomed TAG, Timber and I have a pretty good relationship now. Despite the fact that I am the one who spends time with him and cares for him, he prefers my 20 year old son, who is in college and rarely ever home. I will "do" if Dakota isn't around but if he is you can tell who Timber would rather be with. It is early days yet for you. It took us two or three months to get to a step up with any regularity and no blood-letting (on my part). Another thing I have seen several times on the forum is that birds can switch their allegiance from one household member to another at times. My advice would be "don't give up!"