Edo Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Hello all, I have had my girl Edo for exactly one year today. In my opinion it has been a wonderful year of learning for both of us. I have a few concerns I am starting to wonder if this is normal or not. As some background on her personality and early life: Raised by a very sweet lady who did not have many visitors or activity in the house. Raised with clutchmates. Slightly fearful of men and new people. Does not like to step up or coperate with anyone really but myself (Although while growling she will let a few people move her from point A to B) She has come everywhere with me since day 1. (Car, Planes, outside, visiting people etc..) but sticks to me like glue. She is very sweet and cuddly with me and is content to sit on my lap and cuddle all night like a dog! if I stop scratching or petting her she will push herself under my hand! I work full time so she has plenty of time alone and really has no bad habits to speak of... yet.. lol I am very dedicated with my hands on training with her/clicker/harness positive reinforcement etc. Friends and guests always gently offer her treats and speak to her calmly. but she loves to run away and usually will not accept food from anyone but me and few others. My question is... why is she so socially phobic and scared to let anyone else near her? Is this something she will ever outgrow? Today for example, she was on my shoulder at the table while we had new visitors in the house who she never met before and she was getting out of hand (restless, growling, slight nipping when she was on my hand and constantly trying to climb to my shoulder and hide) she was on the back of a chair and even a slight hand gesture from a guest sent her flapping to the ground.(She has always been clipped after learning to fly) Sorry to go on so long, I don't have any bird people in my life to discuss with! lol Just wondering if this is normal... am I doing something wrong... ideas? Thank you!! Lisa & Edo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvparrots Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 (edited) This is normal. I have a TAG (4 1/2) and a CAG (2 1/2) and live alone. My TAG is fearless and has chosen a few people she likes and goes to readily. My CAG screams, fluffs up and growls at everyone but me. Frankly, I don't encourage people to get close to my greys. I let them/greys choose whom they wish to like and hang with. I find that animals are a very good judge of character. Many times greys select only one member of the family to be with and others just have to hope that one day they will be one of the chosen ones too. My greys are both flighted so they pretty well have the run of my home and if they don't want to be included when people are over, they just go back to their bird-room. Many times they/greys will just sit on ceiling perches or boings and watch the human interaction. Edited February 3, 2013 by luvparrots Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 (edited) Hello Lisa, I believe the issue is she has fear of strange people. You did mention that she was not used to visitors at her first home. When a grey is not socialized from early on with people, they are many times fearful of visitors to the home. In her mind, anyone of those visitors could be a predator. Perhaps over time, she will get a little less fearful as she finds that those visiting your home have never caused any harm to her or you during the visits. Only time will tell. Edited February 3, 2013 by danmcq Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffNOK Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 (edited) It seems you have done a great job of exposing your grey to new people and situations. Keep that up. As luvparrots mentioned, some greys really are uncomfortable with strangers while others are less so. It seems to be a common issue. My CAG does not particularly want "up close and personal" interaction with strangers, although she seems pretty chill as long as they keep a respectful distance. She allows my mother and father (who we visit regularly) to give her beak kisses and offer treats. She will also step up on them with some hesitation. As for most other people--if they get too close she will fly off. Thankfully she doesn't growl or seem stressed--she just decides to "relocate". I'm curious, is your grey flighted? I read a quote from Barbara Heidenreich that said that greys in particular seem to be less phobic when they are flighted because they know if they don't like something, they can fly away from it. Having said that, flighted or not many greys just prefer a very small circle of friends. This isn't a bad thing as long as your bird isn't overly stressed by the presence of others. Edited February 3, 2013 by JeffNOK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edo Posted February 3, 2013 Author Share Posted February 3, 2013 Thank you all for the great advice. I'm still very new to Greys and this forum really helps me out. She is not flighted right now, but I don't plan on clipping her once her wings grow back in. Hopefully that will help with her confidence she's very close to getting her harness completely on, so I can see good times ahead for us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffNOK Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 (edited) I just want to add that from your description of your relationship with Edo, she seems to be a very happy girl and loves you to death. The trust she has in you indicates that she is content and comfortable in her life with you. She doesn't need to love or even like strangers. In reality you are all she requires. Of course you don't want her to feel deathly afraid when others are near, but with time she will likely learn that strangers don't mean harm. I would suggest that you just ask visitors to keep their distance. In a perfect world it might be nice if she accepted treats from outsiders or allowed more contact, but I don't see this as a necessary to her mental or emotional health. You are her world. You are enough. Edited February 3, 2013 by JeffNOK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edo Posted February 3, 2013 Author Share Posted February 3, 2013 That is beautiful advice JeffNOK, I never considered it from that point of view. Her needs seem to be met , so for me to want to push her into social situations is truly selfish on my part. Great advice. Thanks so much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffNOK Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 I certainly don't think you are being selfish. Socializing our greys is important so that they don't fear people and can be handled in veterinary situations or if you marry and start a family etc. We want them to be OK with people. However, for now I would just have her around people but have them keep a respectful distance until she shows that she is relaxed. There is no rushing a grey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 JEFFnok said it all! Excellent advice!All of Edo's needs are being met, the trust is there, so it can only grow from there.You are developing a fantastic relationship with your bird. Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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