RIP Beezer

[Carolina]

This is my first post here. And it's a sad one but I know you guys would understand me more than most people. My CAG, Beezer, was 15 years old. I have had him since I was 15. He got attacked by raccoons on Tuesday and his wing was bad but not broken. The avian vet said the damage was not the worst he's seen but that Beezer's calcium and potassium levels were off the chart. He somewhat stabilized and was home on Wednesday and Thursday. He didn't eat much, but did eat what I fed him by hand. Friday morning he was at the bottom of the cage and I knew I had to get him to the vet asap. The vet said that the next step would be to amputate his wing because he believed that was the source of the problem. The vet called after the surgery and said it went great. Beezer was moving around the cage and ate on his own. I was so happy, but an hour or so later I got the call. He started deteriorating and there was nothing more that could be done. His blood levels never normalized. I rushed to the vet but I was too late. I can't express the pain and sadness that I am feeling. He was my buddy since I was 15 (I'm 30 now). I was looking forward to getting old with him. And the "what if's" are killing me. I know it takes time but when you lose your buddy so suddenly and at such a young age, it really hurts. Sorry for the long post, I guess I just needed to write about it. Thanks for reading.

[Timbersmom]

Oh... so sorry for your loss!

[judygram]

I am so sorry for your loss of Beezer but know that the 15 years he was with you he knew he was loved but his encounter with the raccoon set in motion what he couldn't recover from, no doubt some germs or bacteria that took his life much too early. Even though he was taken too soon you will always remember him in your heart so dwell on the good times you had together and maybe some day you will be ready to open your heart to yet another grey, not to replace Beezer but because you have much love to give, again please accept my heartfelt condolsenses on your loss.

[JeffNOK]

Our thoughts and prayers are with you. It is just heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing about Beezer. We are here for each other in good times and sad times. I hope you continue here in the forum and we can soon share some good times together.

[danmcq]

Very sad. It is just like losing a birthed child and the heartache and broken pain just as bad. You have my condolences during this very hard time.

[Luvparrots]

So sorry for your loss Carolina. I bet you have some wonderful memoirs of Beezer that will be in your heart forever. Be strong and know that Beezer is still with you flying free at last.

[CLB]

I can only say how sorry I am also at theis tragic loss. You came to the right, we do understand.

[Carolina]

Thank you so much for your kind words. It's been tough. And to add to the emotional, mental, and physical roller coaster, my mom has arrived with a 5 mo old CAG. She just felt so bad seeing me like this, she thought it would make it better. She knows he/she won't be a replacement for Beezer and she thought the baby would bring some joy, and he/she has (and some bites!). I feel like it's too soon because I am still grieving Beezer but now I have a baby that I have to look after. I just don't want him/her to feel my sadness or stress and think it's him/her. The next few days and weeks are going to be interesting...I am a mess of emotions. I always try to look at the positive in everything. This baby will help me heal and keep me entertained. It's just that I don't know how to feel! When I feel sad, I don't want the baby to be around me. And when I feel happy and he/she makes me laugh, I feel a little guilty. I guess I have to stay strong so the baby won't feel the negative energy.

[Luvparrots]

Mamas are always trying to make the boo boos go away. Be strong, your new friend needs your love and attention because he too has lost his family and needs someone to show him love. I think the two of you are made for each other.

[Greywings]

My heart breaks for you, such a tragic time. Beezer was loved and he tried but was not able to continue, he will always be in your heart to carry forward with you. The new guy is a new begining on the road of life certainly no confusion in his or her little Grey head as to needs, love, food and interactions required. Just make a little more room in your heart and you head will follow sooner or later. We do understand and always some one hear to "listen"and help you keep moving along.

Edited December 24, 2012 by Greywings

[Carolina]

Thank you all for your kind words. Dali (baby bird) is helping me heal. I know it takes time and I was happy to find that my mom has one of Beezer's red feathers and my photographer friend has some great pictures! I look forward to making them into a nice frame. I am glad to be part of this forum, so much information. Thank you all again and Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

[katana600]

Bless you heart, you have been through so much. I am so sorry for your loss. It may have been soon for you to get Dali but your mom had the best intentions and your little one will soothe and heal your heart. Soon the day will come when your joy will become much bigger than your sorrow. We lost two babies and I thought I would never be able to bring home another grey and as time passed, we did bring home an older parrot and although the time spent grieving with an empty house seemed necessary at the time, it didn't really ease our loss and emptiness as much as laughing and sharing our life with Gilbert has helped. It took a while to stop feeling like I was being disloyal to our lost boys. Your time with Beezer will be cherished forever and it is his love that will carry you through as you love Dali too. I am so glad you have been able to open your heart to Dali and enjoy your baby too.