Feeling a little discouraged

[hgsteele]

Hi All

 

I'm a new grey owner. I got Lucy who is 4 1/2 months on Friday, so I know it's only been 6 days but it doesn't seem like she really likes me. I really try to spend a lot of time with her, I talk to her, I feed her by hand sometimes. She will step up, but usually wants to bite me a few times before she will. I just hope she will end up loving me and trusting me. I guess time will tell. Is there anyway to bond with them quicker or have them stop biting?

Thank you

Heather

[judygram]

Heather it takes time to bond with your grey so do not get discouraged at this point, she is a baby so it will just take some time and 6 days is nothing, be patient and she will come to trust you, remember that you have to earn a grey's trust. You can't hurry up the process so just keep doing what you are doing, talk to her and give her treats. One thing you can do when she steps up is ball your hand up into a fist before you ask her to step up, that way if she goes to bite then she will have a hard time getting ahold of you, always ask her if she wants to step up for we have to respect their feelings that maybe at that moment she doesn't want to so ask her a little later if she hesitates.

[Ray P]

Just give your grey time to settle in as you and your home are new to her. She is in a strange place with strange people.

Sit by her and read a book and read to her , talk to her , shrare a treat and she will come around in her own time.

[Luvparrots]

Hi Heather congrats on your new grey, Lucy. I have to ask, is Lucy biting you or just testing your hand before she tries to perch? Judy has given you some great advice so just relax and give Lucy time to get use to her new home. Welcome to the Grey family! Relax and enjoy!

[aerial.2000]

the good news is your baby is still young so theres lots of time to bond still ....

[kitt4kaz]

Hi Heather. I have only been a grey mom for 2 months. Felix is now 4.5 months also but I got him at nine weeks. Even at that very young age, he growled at us whenever we walked near his cage for the first week. He squawked this horrible sound whenever we put our hand in the cage. I felt so sorry for him since I knew he was extremely scared. But we kept our movements slow around him and just gave him time. I would say by the end of his third week with us, he wanted to be with us no matter what. Now, he will not be alone and flies to anyone that walks by. I honestly can't wait until he is a little more independent. I have to put him in his cage if I need to get things done around the house. He is a real sweetheart though.

 

For me, I really bonded with him in those first weeks by always getting him out of his cage before bedtime and handfeeding him his favorite treats. Even now, he still asks for his formula in the evening and I happily give it to him. Just give your baby a little more time. Let her set the pace. Offer her favorite treats. She will come around.

[hgsteele]

Thanks so much for all the advice, I really appreciate it! I just want her

To be happy and love us as much as we love her.

[JeffNOK]

I know exactly how you feel. I brought my grey (Gracie) home at four and a half months. Prior to that I visited her almost every day at the breeders to try to get to know her and bond. When I brought her home it was exactly as you describe. I was very discouraged and worried that she had no attachment to me at all. For about two to three months I was feeling very low about our progress. Now after 11 months, Gracie and I are two peas in a pod. Very bonded and very very happy. I promise you that it will come in time. I will wager that it will be even better than you can imagine now. It has been for me and Gracie was a tough nut to crack.

Edited November 8, 2012 by JeffNOK

[Acappella]

Congrats on the addition to your flock. Don't be discouraged, you have years ahead if you. A week is little more than a blink in grey time. My advice would be to not force a step up or removal from the cage. Instead, offer a step up and if Lucy doesn't comply tell her "ok, maybe later" and step away. Make the world outside the cage look like big fun that she is missing out on. Eg. I used to sit on the floor outside Dorian's cage with my back to him and "play". Sometimes I'd work at making a toy, sometimes play with the cat. After a few minutes I'd stand and offer him a step up again. Or I'd offer a step-up before leaving the room. I'd ask if he wanted to "come with mom" and when he declined I'd leave the room for a few minutes, then return and try again. Repeat and repeat and repeat. Took months with Dorian, but he is especially cautious because of his life before me. This approach does two things. It lets your fid know that you respect their wishes - this makes them feel more secure and confident. At the same time you're taking advantage of their flock instinct to want to be "with" other flock members at all times, and you're using their curiosity (that's why I'd sit with my back to the cage) against them. Grey's hate to think they're missing out on something. The more you act like you don't really want them to participate, the more irresistible participating becomes. Lol

[katana600]

We dutifully read everything we could find about African Greys, set up a home with everything the breeder suggested, bought toys and anticipated the arrival of our baby grey Juno. I went every few weeks to visit him and held him for hours and he was an adorable little bundle waiting for the day he would come home. On the big day, he was in a travel carrier in the back seat, I could touch his head and reassure him for the long ride home. As we got him out of the car and brought him into the house he let loose of a demon growl that made the hair stand right up on my neck and I wondered what have I gotten myself into. His first couple of weeks was as you describe but with the advice from this forum, I gave him space and let him adjust to leaving the only home and familiar place he had ever known. It seemed like forever but he did finally step up with pleasure and would sit on my lap, play with his toys and he loved his new home in no time. Like you, we had such a build up of anticipation and research to give him the best home and he seemed a little standoffish but we finally realized he was just scared and needed to evaluate us a little before he trusted us.