JeffNOK Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I have had my 14-month old CAG Gracie since December. Some of you may remember my early posts where I expressed concern about the fact that she doesn't accept much physical contact. For the first few months I was really worried we wouldn't bond like many of you have bonded with your greys. I just want to report that although she still doesn't want pets or head rubs, we are bonding in other ways that are really profound. In the last month Gracie has become quite a talker. This new development has added a dimension to our relationship. I just want to share a few things in this regard. First, when I leave the room Gracie is very particular about her vocalizations. She says lots of things. but when I am out of sight she chooses the following phrases to get my attention. 1. Daddy's here. 2. Gracie want Daddy 3. Daddy's a good boy. Also, we play a sort of language game together that can last an hour or more. She never seems to learn words in isolation, but rather she speaks phrases and sentences. She enjoys a sort of banter with with me. For example, Gracie knows the phrases "Gracie is a good girl" and "Daddy is a good boy." If I say "Gracie is a good..." She responds with.."...girl". If I say "Daddy is a good..." She responds "...boy". (I know I'm over 40 and not a boy, but Gracie doesn't know). She also likes the phrase..."Gracie wanna kiss? (kissing sound) thank you!". If she says "Gracie wanna kiss?" I make the kissing sound and she says "thank you". If I say "Gracie wanna kiss?"--then she makes the kissing sound, and I say "thank you". It's like a little dance we do and she never misses a beat. Often when she says "Gracie wanna kiss" she is really asking for a kiss and she sticks her head out for me to come and press my nose against her beak and make the kissing sound. She won't let me touch her much with my hands, but she seems to relish the moments when my nose is pressed against her beak. I am enjoing this new stage in our relationship because we are communicating and bonding. It's our way of interacting. I don't get cuddles, but I get a connection with her that is really cool. Everyday it is something new, and I see her mind working out the realities of her world and my place in it. I have never experienced anything like it. When your grey looks at you and says "I love you soooooo much!" It is just the bomb! Does she know what "love" means? I don't know--but it melts my heart every time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inc0gnito Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 You are lucky. I got a Wild one and He just barely tolerates me. If I offer it anything he just flings it away. Likes to be alone. Hates people around him. Sigh. Oh well. Tis life. Our bonding is light years away from where almost all these forum members are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffNOK Posted October 13, 2012 Author Share Posted October 13, 2012 A wild one? What do you mean? Is he a rescue? Did he come form a bad situation? How long have you had him? Don't lose hope. There are many people in this forum that have been able to bond with theor greys despite lots of difficult circumstances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Even though she doesn't want much to do with hands she can still convey her love for you, not all of us have greys who like a lot of touching but it doesn't mean whe have any less of a great relationship with our grey companions, you are very lucky with Gracie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray P Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Some times with a grey you have to take what you get, at first, but as the bond grows so do other things. Six months from now, a year from now things may be very different and the story you tell than will have a new twist. Never think it will never happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timbersmom Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 A lot of it is our expectations. I expected Timber to act in certain ways, which is ridiculous really. Just as some people are touchy-feely and others are not, the birds are individuals. I think we often don't allow for those differences with our birds (and other animals). They have personalities, likes, dislikes etc. that are just as individual as the human species. Gracie is blessed to have someone who understands her and appreciates her for who she is, not what someone else might want her to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvparrots Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I enjoy hearing about Gracie and how the two of you are growing together. Our greys teach us so much, especially patience and to read body language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inc0gnito Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 A wild one? What do you mean? Is he a rescue? Did he come form a bad situation? How long have you had him? Don't lose hope. There are many people in this forum that have been able to bond with theor greys despite lots of difficult circumstances. I believe its a Wild Caught Grey. I got it from a family who was leaving the country. They had him in a large cage in their garage and nobody could go near him and I believe he was NEVER let out of that large cage. He was with them for a year or so. But the previous owner also mentioned that he thought it was a Wild caught Grey - because he said it simply didn't want anything to do with us. I mean if you keep it locked up away from everyone in a garage, yeah even I wouldn't want anything to do with you! I've had it for 2 months now. We are making progress. Its hard, not just because of the Grey, but also because of my family. I want the Grey to be accepted just as much as I want it to accept not just me, but everyone. So far he only allows me near him. That too if I indulge myself too much, he will bow his head down, look at me and make one audible Click. That's my cue to get lost! That I have out stayed my welcome. seriously. lol. I then comply. what else can I do? Anyway. I need him in my life. He is my companion. And I guess that's why I accommodate him the most in my house. We humans are such socially dependent creatures. We fall in love with all sorts of things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistyparrot Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Thank goodness there are people like you inc0gnito who are prepared to give a loving home to what some might see as a challenging parrot. What ever his history your Grey now has a chance to learn to trust humans and in time he will get closer to you. Greys are intelligent and sensitive but they are also naturally social creatures. I am sure he will come to trust and respond to you in time. If you can, try whistling to him. He may already have a contact call and if you can repeat that to him it will help you bond. What is his human given name? Well done and keep up the good work. Steve n Misty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timbersmom Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Timber clicks all the time and I click back at him. For him, it is a sound of pleasure it seems. He clicks when someone he likes comes in, to get my attention, when I let him out of the cage, etc. I thought someone had used clicker training with him, but then someone on the forum said that clicking is a natural sound for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chezron Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Great news! I think Gracie knows what, "I love you" means. What a fun word game. She sounds like a real smarty! Happy for you both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Jeff makes a great point about Gracie bonding in her own ways. She obviously enjoys bringing you delight with her word games and is open to what you offer her as she joins you in companionship. Gilbert may never be willing to sit with me or to enjoy anyone's hands too close to him but he has slowly made overtures that give us understated and subtle clues that he really is accepting us in his own way. Gracie is still very much a baby and she is learning from you and taking everything in until she is the one giving you the cues of what she wants you to say. LOL. Sounds like fun at your house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffNOK Posted October 14, 2012 Author Share Posted October 14, 2012 One of the refreshing and reassuring things about this forum is that we all share our very different and individual experiences with our greys. There is no "norm" really. We all strive to have the best possible relationship we can with the special and unique bird/s that share our lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray P Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 We have to share with some one or the little stinkers will drive us nuts. #@^*)&$@! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelseaB Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 I have no doubt Gracie knows what "love" is, maybe not in word definition like we think , but she absolutely knows what "love" feels like in the bond you two have. She really sounds a lot like Biscotti, he is not much of a hands on bird either. But his "love" for me ( and I him ) is obvious. He will do anything to be near me and is very content to just be in my presence. He does like a scritch now & then, always on his terms. Like you said they are all individuals and have very unique personalities. They are the most amazing creatures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jocelyn Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Makes me feel better about Romeo. He has a strict no touchy rule of course sometimes those soft grey feathers are too much of a temptation and one of us will reach out to stroke him. We are then promptly nipped for our efforts lol. That said Romeo loves attention and will chat a d whistle incessently n an attempt to capture our attention he loves chatting and whistling back and forth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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