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Dilemma


Stevie

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Hi bird fans.

It has been a very long time since i logged in,a lot has happened ,moving ,hospital etc etc,i wont bore zzzzz any one with the details.lol.M y dillema is what to do with my wonderful girls,jess (12 year old grey)and jasper (2 year old amazon).We have had to move and work commitments have changed things greatly.I need some advice from my fellow bird friends,i want to ask am i doing the right thing with my girls,we had to move to a place where it is impossible to let the girls out for more than an hour a day,and work commitments have also had a tremendous effect on the situation with us all.They have always been out for about 4/5 hrs daily until the last 3 months.i am so worried about the effect this is going to have on them,they are still so loved and i dont or wont see them go.Please can some one p[ut my mind at rest.

Many many thanks to you all.

steve

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Wow, this is a tough one, as you are well aware. You wouldn't be asking if the past three months were not putting a strain on you. There are always life changes that we could not anticipate nor change. Maybe the stress this is putting on you and what you are going through are making the transition a little harder for Jess and Jasper so you don't think they are thriving or that they are deprived from the situation as it once was. Your love for them is great and it is obvious. While I don't have any thoughts for a quick fix, I do think that our flock is resilient and they may actually be faring well with your changes. There are a lot of us with ebb and flow in the time we can devote to our companions, animals and humans alike. My daughter is going through something similar with her dog and her work schedule changing for extended travel and long hours. We brought Bella to our home for four months and Kelsey was able to move to a better location and she took her home last week. She is also concerned for the long hours and that she used to be able to come home at lunch time and now that is not possible. When things look bleak sometimes we get stuck and think that when we can't have the optimal solution that it is real bad. She asked her boss if she might be able to bring Bella to the office for the end of month marathon days and is trying out a series of adjustments that are slowly helping. You must be exhausted with all the changes you have had. If you have the energy for that one hour out of cage time to be focused solely on Jess and Jasper, they may surprise you with the investment of what precious time you have with them now and in the blink of an eye a new situation or opportunity may present itself to you for making this more bearable. Your vet knows you and your birds well, they might be a resource for suggestions too. Could there be someone to come in for a brief time in the middle of the day to give your girls a bright spot and break up the long hours? The one thing that is sure is you are looking at every angle and trying to give your best to your girls. Hang tough and know we are rooting for you from our little corner of the world. You have probably already thoughtfully considered everything you can do so while I can't offer any real advice I just want to tell you that you have our support while you think through this and come to whatever solution is best for you and your girls.

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Well, I wouldn't won't get rid of my grey can opener either:-( It is a tough decision. I watched my Zak not eat because I was working all day long last school year. He was biting me more than usual, got sick from stress and I wouldn't want that again. I knew I won't be working like that forever but I also didn't know that I would be home so little and working all the time. Literally. At some point Zak began to lounge when he would see a test and a red pencil because he knew that for few hours I'll be as good as gone:-( So, I'm trying to say..if U know that you'll stay in this working arrangement for a longer period+if you'll live in the place you live now for a longer period (since U can't let them out more than 1hour) maybe it would be a good idea to consider a new forever home for them.. :-(((

 

PS: my Zak spent more than 1 hour every day out of the cage but it sure didn't seem enough. On the other hand, I live alone so he was really totally alone when I would leave. He refused playing with toys for longer periods of time. I think the poor bird was depressed. Didn't quite realized the extent of OUR depression because of that situation till I wrote this lines.. :-/

 

Good luck and please keep us posted!

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If I were in your shoes, I think I'd have to look at the girls themselves. Are they stressed? Are they adjusting? Are they healthy? Are they eating well? Are they having any health and/or behavior problems? I'd have to weigh that against the potential advantages/problems/pitfalls of rehoming them. It certainly seems like you are putting their welfare first, and that's the important thing. My rehomed TAG seems pretty adaptable that way. He has about an hour "out" in the morning, then is caged all day until about 5 PM when I get home. Then he has another 3 hours or so "out." There are days though, when he doesn't have that much time out of the cage. On most weekends, he has more out time, but life happens. He seems to take it pretty much in stride as long as I give him my full attention when I'm with him. Most of us don't have "ideal" but have to hit some kind of balance. Good luck and God bless!

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Words cant describe how wonderful it is to get this sort of response.Thank you all so so much.

steve

 

I'm sorry if I jumped the gun, Steve. I read your post very quickly from the office...and I thought you had already decided to let them go! My bad.

 

I look at it this way - do what is best for the bird. Staying with you is always #1 since they are bonded with you and your wife. Moving to a new home is so stressful (I worry about the day I'm gone and my kids have a new home to adjust to). This may be a temporary situation - and you find that in 6 months you have time open up. Nothing is static, everything changes.

 

Best of luck to you - in whatever you choose!!!! :)

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Hey there these birds are more resilient than we think they are, they can and will adjust to the new digs and rules just keep them busy. Let them know they are loved talk a lot to them sing and play when you can. All will work out in the long run and do explain to them what to expect with the new life style sounds funny but I swear it helps.

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I will add my 2 cents in. I feel what you are going thru. I had a very unusual work schedule for many many years. It allowed my birds to be out most of the day every day. They are free flighted, I live in a big house, have many tree stands, boings, perches hanging every where. It looks like I live in a ginat bird cage. Well, this past summer, finacially, I had to take on 2 more jobs. I now work 3 part time jobs and have my own dance studio that is open 6 days a week. I get up most days at 4am, head off to the gym or go running. After getting home, showering & my kids off to school. I am able to let them out for about an hour for breakfast and time with me. They are then in their cages again until 5 or 6 ish, and then many nights off to teach classes and home late. I was so worried about the effects of this schedule change, but tried not to show it to them. It has been about 3 months, and they seem to do just fine, in fact they expect it. I do leave the tv on or a bird sitter dvd, and they do like their afternoon quiet time. Sometimes my daughter will let them out right before I come home, and when that happens and I walk in the door, all 3 come flying over to me and spend the last bit of time with me as much a spossible. Those nights, I feel so loved by them....:)

I think you will be suprised at how adaptable they will become.

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Steve, don't be too quick to make any decision other than to continue to be a good caregiver to them.

 

I'm curious, you mention that you moved to a location where it is impossible to let them out more than an hour a day. Look at all the factors that are causing this. And, what can you do there to make it possible for them to be out? I only mention this as usually limits to having an out-of-cage experience for the birds are something I impose on myself - nothing more than a decision I might make.

 

You mention you've been away for awhile and a lot has obviously happened behind the scenes in that time. And you and your birds are making it through it. I know how difficult this can be as I, too, have been away from the forum for a long time while hell broke loose here. But my birds helped me through it and still like me (I'm pretty sure, at least). So think long and hard about the consequences of any decision you might make. Be selfish.

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Thank you all so much for all your kind words.Jess my grey still gives me the beak rub and her breakfast ,lunch,dinner etc when i let her out,so i know she still loves me,jasper the noisy amazon is still doing her dawn chorus,ear plugs at the ready,lol,so at the moment things seem ok,after reading all of the kind words and advice i am feeling a little better about the situation we are in,this must be felt by my lovely angels ,i have tried so hard not to be too upset in front of them so when i can let them out i try and cram so much quality time in the small window i have.

Thank you all again for all of your help

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I did go through the same situation you have already, and DJ had to stay more time in his cage lately. I was worried just as much as you are, but then i noticed that DJ has accepted his limited time outside the cage. What i did was simple and it all depends on the amount of love you give your birds when you let them out. As soon as i come home and before i change my clothes, i go to his cage and tell him HELLO BABY. DJ gets so excited immediately, all fluffy and full of energy, step up on my hand and i give him a hug for a minute or two. The same thing with Susu too. Then i go to the kitchen and prepare a double treat for both of them. My maid keeps telling me how excited they both get as soon as i arrive home :)

I then move to my room and change my clothes, but i keep calling them the whole time and they respond saying (Hello and I love you). Then spend an hour or two playing with them along with my daughter. I can tell you they have not changed their behavior at all, they are still the same lovely parrots i know. From spending most of the day out of their cages, to spending 3 to 4 hours a day only! So i guess it's not the amount of time they spend outside their cages that makes them happy, but maybe the amount of love and attention they get. I hope this will help, and this is my own experience only.

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