It Was(n't) a Dream

[birdhouse]

I dinged my back & have not been able to find a comfortable position for 2 days. I finally found the sweet spot on a small mountain of pillows, leaning against the back of the sofa.

 

It felt so good I dropped right off into a deep sleep. I dreamed someone was playing w/my hair. The way they were slowly, gently pulling the strands felt so nice. I didn't ever want to move.

 

But something kept telling me to wake up; something you need to do. I finally jolted half awake & realized I'd fallen asleep w/the fids out. So I started to get up & let out a yelp when it hurt.

 

Then I woke up & saw Phenix. He was sitting a few inches away, giving me the strangest, sweetest look. I don't know if I just looked that vulnerable or what. But my issue-ridden, strictly hands off guy had settled beside me to preen my hair while I slept. Even after I jolted awake (loudly) he hadn't bitten or even spooked. He just sat there w/this look.

 

For maybe the next 5 min, I told him how wonderful he was, how I could never have dreamed something so good & how much I loved him. It was such an amazing thing for Phenix to have done that I would have stayed there for a long, long time. But he was done. Put his little attitude back on & waddled off down the couch. Moment over

 

Stormy... Bongo... Athena...? I peaked on that thread where I'm not supposed to go. Sorry! But I just wanted to tell you something. Sometimes, when you make water fall down your mom's face, you did something very, very good.

[katana600]

Awww, that is just precious. There is something primal within our greys that seeks to understand us. Maybe we just have to slow down and sit still for them to get close and investigate and maybe they really do have empathy and caring and are able to read our deepest thoughts. The time I stayed up late and fell asleep next to Gilbert he came over and felt my face all over with his beak. It was scary but when I realized he was just checking me out, it was very sweet. Sorry to hear your back is troubling you though.

[birdhouse]

Thanks. My back is a little better today. And it was almost worth it just for this!

 

But one of the things that got to me was that Phenix is not usually worried about me. In fact usually when he knows I'm distracted he sees it as a chance to get into more trouble. lol For him this was beyond amazing!

 

This is one of the moments there's no sharing w/anyone who's not a parront. And I'm especially glad I can share it w/parronts who have done some rough miles w/their fids & can actually understand why it made me ridiculously happy!

[CLB]

I got chills reading your post. Reminded me of the time Shadow showered with me and actually licked water droplets from my shoulder. A feeling only a few honored folks can appreciate.

[Ray P]

If only we could read them as well as they read us.

Corky has this knack of knowing how the wife is feeling before she even gets up in the morning.

She is as quiet as a Church mouse if the wife dose not feel well and a hellion when she is OK.

[Talon]

How precious, and what a wonderful moment that was. They really can read us and love us when we're not looking...in their own way.

[Sarasota]

This reminds me of a strange thing that happened. About a year ago I took some new meds. They hit me so hard. I got home from work, took Sondheim out of his cage....and passed out! When I woke up a few hours later it was pitch dark, and he was still sitting happily on my back. I was stunned.

 

And, yeah, I never took that evil stuff again!

[judygram]

Sorry to hear of your back troubles but what a moment you had with Phenix, he knew you had been in pain and he just wanted to make you feel better and boy did he, you must have been on cloud nine when you woke up to find him preening your hair, bet you just wanted to stay there in that moment for the longest time to savor every second for I know of your history with him. They can be very emphatic when the occasion presents itself and I know you will cherish that moment for the rest of your life. Thanks Val for sharing that story with us.

[birdhouse]

... you must have been on cloud nine when you woke up to find him preening your hair,

....bet you just wanted to stay there in that moment for the longest time to savor every second .

 

I'm not going to lie, Judy. My first reaction was dread. Phenix isn't allowed near anyone's face unless things are totally controlled (lol you know what I mean!) And by "anyone" I mean me. Everyone else thinks I'm absolutely nuts!

 

But after all this time, reading him is a reflex. It didn't take a second to realize this was something he'd never shown me before. I've long since accepted that he'll never stop being able to surprise me. But this was something extraordinary that I won't ever forget. And I'd be really thrilled to see this side of him again, any time!!

[katana600]

I have to admit, I know that feeling of dread and fear and also the surprise of a gentle touch from that wicked sharp and pointed weapon that is Gilbert's beak. Since the time he asked for kiss and grabbed my lip, faces are off limit here too. He pinched it hard enough to make me bleed, he held on for what seemed like minutes and he let me know what he could have done and I am grateful he didn't. But still there was something different the day he felt my face while I was asleep. I think that wonderous moment was hope and faith felt in my heart instead of my brain saying to run far, run fast, danger danger danger. One tiny little step at a time and I believe Gilbert will find me acceptable at some point.

[birdhouse]

Oh, I think Gilbert loves you. I don't think you could have come thru a whole lot in a relatively short time, otherwise. I think he & Phenix are just really conflicted about how to demonstrate their emotions for whatever reason. I think Gilbert has a lot better chance of figuring out how to overcome his issues, though.

 

It is all about celebrating the baby steps. If we're very very good there's the occasional mind blowing wondrous moments too!!

[katana600]

I think you are right about the conflict. I can see it with Gilbert, especially in the early days. He would hold out his foot to step up but his body would shake violently. He would tuck for a scratch on the head but pull back and spin around to bite. Tuck, scratch, swipe, tuck back in again. When he does allow himself to relax for a scratch he nearly falls asleep standing up. There are times when I stand so long in front of his cage every muscle aches but I can't walk away when he turns sleepily and says "hey" for some more. I have to say when he flings himself against his bars one moment trying to bite me and then turns from Hyde/Jeckyl and is soliciting a scratch, there is always a moment that it takes to gather myself to go in for putting my fingers close to him but I do it every time. If I flinch or jump as he is trying to be sweet it startles him and he goes on the attack. I always think of you when I give Gilbert limeade. The magic potion to sooth the savage beast. Last night I floated a raspberry or two in my drink and when I offered that to him he was not having it for a second. I fished out the raspberries, ate a few, offered him one and he rejected my offer. As soon as there was nothing foreign in "his" limeade he made yummy sounds when he took a beakful.

[birdhouse]

I always think of you when I give Gilbert limeade. The magic potion to sooth the savage beast. Last night I floated a raspberry or two in my drink and when I offered that to him he was not having it for a second. I fished out the raspberries, ate a few, offered him one and he rejected my offer. As soon as there was nothing foreign in "his" limeade he made yummy sounds when he took a beakful.

 

 

Please. You don't mess w/perfection!

 

I know because I've been trying to concoct a healthier version ever since I tripped over that little discovery. But a little extra sugar is still worth it for anything that actually let me take Phenix photos. Finding out what it does for you & Gil was a very sweet bonus!

[katana600]

I do like the limeade a lot better cut half and half with water. Gilbert drinks less than a teaspoon on any given week. It just seems to be one of those things that can get him out of even the deepest funk. If he had it every day, it wouldn't be such a novelty to him. I am the one to get the bonus as you share your experience with Phenix. Gilbert is on the same path, but we were fortunate enough to hop over a couple of obstacles due to suggestions you've made. It really makes a difference to read what everyone else does, and then think about how to incorporate their ideas into our own successful relationships.

[birdhouse]

The only thing I really regret is that we were so isolated for so long. Even to this day, I've known 2 people who owned a grey & very few who kept big parrots. None of them were people who I could share w/on an ongoing basis.

 

Sometimes I do sit back & think which things might have worked out better if there had been anything like a Grey Forums way back when. He'd been thru too much & I think Phenix was just too old when he was taken to have happily adapted to any captivity short of aviary life, maybe. But I couldn't even find him a sanctuary at that point. Breeders didn't want him because he'd been misdiagnosed w/"failure to thrive" & written off. Odds were he'd already found (& lost) his life's mate back w/his flock, anyway.

 

I'd have given a great deal to have had the perspective & feedback from other owners w/wild greys. I can't even begin to imagine what a difference that would have made! Even to have had a comparison for "normal" domestically raised behavior might have helped w/so many obstacles.

 

Dee, in some ways your first year w/Gilbert has seen so much more progress than I got from Phenix even after many years. And some that I guess I never will because he seriously does not like people. I think I'm very lucky that I could accept Phenix on his terms before I got tossed in w/the rest.

 

But he did eventually get to where he's much more "normal" than not. In spite of some crumby odds he seems relatively happy, for the most part. Head spinning moments like this may be rare. But there aren't too many days that go by w/o another reason to feel privileged that Phenix let me in, no matter what the terms. He's given me more than enough back to make living decades w/a prickly parrot worth while & then some.

Edited September 13, 2012 by birdhouse

[Sarasota]

The only thing I really regret is that we were so isolated for so long. Even to this day, I've known 2 people who owned a grey & very few who kept big parrots. None of them were people who I could share w/on an ongoing basis.

 

I hear ya. Most of my friends and family are afraid of birds (how do you like that one?) My mother tried with Sondhi, but he nipped her (NIPPED!!) when he was just a babe. Now she won't go anywhere near him. I live alone, so it's pretty isolating for the birds. I'm not the kind of person to take my birds out of the house for socialization (plus, they are all fully flighted). I think working in wildlife rehab gave me a super healthy dose of bacterial/viral fear.

 

I'm moving towards finding a good piece of property so I can have a large aviary with more, free-flying birds. Now I just need to win the lottery!

[birdhouse]

I wonder if I want to know if this was a communication gap or a generation gap. lol Since I didn't grow up in the information age, I actually meant isolated from any useful knowledge short of the very rare & often less than informative library book.

 

But the physical type certainly applies, too. Phenix prides himself on scaring people off & he does it quite well! My family is the reason I can't walk walk away from any critter that needs help. It's hereditary. So they weren't about to let a little thing like a snarky bird bother them. My friends, though..?. Uhhmm, let's say I started getting more invitations to their house.

 

I do know the risks of taking my guys on play dates. But I don't have 2 of any kind. Phenix won't socialize w/birds any better than people & doesn't do well in the car. But I see a big benefit from letting the others spend time w/their own kind whenever possible. Not just as a concept. They act happier, for want of a simple way to put it.

 

I know it's no guarantee. But I know these people are as obsessive as I am. So it seems to work for now. If I ever win the lottery, though, I'm with you. Maybe literally because I'm going to need to be off to warmer climes before I can even start on that tropical paradise/free range haven that I've had floating in my head forever!

 

Phenix goes Hollywood ...there's a concept!

[Sarasota]

Phenix goes Hollywood ...there's a concept!

 

LOL! Probably more like me reading too fast...and ducking away to type before my boss sees me.

 

My kids are Hollywood Birdz. We hate it! It's way too hot in SoCal for me. The minute I can, I'm heading to the Pacific Northwest. I like seasons!