Guest sagittariusgirl89 Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Ok Ava has been home since the 17th of July. She is 4 months old. Anyway, the first two days she was fine with me. All of a sudden she is only happy with my boyfriend. Whenever I offer her my finger to step up she bites my finger. I don't know how to gain her trust when i didn't do anything to break it. Why does she prefer my boyfriend? I'm home more and I'm the one who cleans her food bowls and feed her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 (edited) It sounds like at this point in time, Ava has decided your boyfriend is her love muffin. You will just need to be patient and pay special attention to her body language when trying to get a step-up. It is better to avoid a bite proactively, rather than trying to force it. Give her favorite food or treats as you are trying to get a step-up and see if that helps the situation. There is normally always one person selected as the love muffin and the other person(s) are just flock members. Being the one that feeds her and is home more does not change whom she selects. I wish it worked that way as do many others, but it's not how it works. It is however, very important that you both share the work activities so she does always view you as having access to all areas as will be needed. She may not like it as she ages, but she will have learned to live with it. Edited July 25, 2012 by danmcq Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave007 Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 So many young greys who are new members of a family will do that. It's not a trust issue. She's too young to be dealing with trust unless some traumatic, horrible experience just happened. Babies will be babies and right now you've had the bird for approx 10 days. That's not enough time to decide anything. The bird has to learn alot about you, the hubby, the house, the surroudings, the habits of both of you in the house. Don't be surprised if the same thing happens in the near future ( reverse with the hubby being the bad guy ). Stay calm and cool with her. Don't make a big deal about it. Give her a treat from your hand and walk away. Now, that's the beginning of trust. She'll get things from you without having to work for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingy Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Ok Ava has been home since the 17th of July. She is 4 months old. Anyway, the first two days she was fine with me. All of a sudden she is only happy with my boyfriend. Whenever I offer her my finger to step up she bites my finger. I don't know how to gain her trust when i didn't do anything to break it. Why does she prefer my boyfriend? I'm home more and I'm the one who cleans her food bowls and feed her. Are you sure she is biting? Jake is very mouthy, the vet calls it tactile, and tests everything with his mouth first. He will grab my finger and really mouth it before stepping up. Sometimes it pinches or is uncomfortable, other times he pulls it forward for a beak rub, but most often he is just mouthing me before he'll step up. Something my vet suggested is when Jake's mouthing does hurt to say no bite in a stern voice and try it again but if he still hurts to just walk away and try again later. She demonstrated what she meant and had me try it. It isn't a yell, my voice does not get louder at all, it is a change to just a bit of a deeper tone only. She claims that by using a deeper tone I will show my displeasure and won't accidentally encourage the behavior, in this case biting, by sounding excited. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 sagittariusgirl89 Quite normal! Ava is doing what most greys do!You will feel hurt, don't understand it, boyfriend will be happy to be selected. Continue to feed baby, clean cage. Let baby see you together, you are a package deal! Support each other. The goal being baby to go to you both! Sophie 12 years later, goes to all of us. We always clean her cage together. She loves all of us, for different reasons, but she will stepup to all of us, because we all have something unique to offer her.She loves all of us, but ultimately, I keep her safe, I am her ROM. Ryan, is the fun one, gets her dancing! Sean is the adventuresome one... lets her chase his toes, and play hide-n-seek.She doesn't have a favorite that she loves, but she has a favorite for activities that she enjoys. Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sagittariusgirl89 Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 She uses he tip of her beak causing me to bleed. I will continue to be patient. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingy Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 She uses he tip of her beak causing me to bleed. I will continue to be patient. Since it is the tip of her beak she may be using it as an additional foot to step up either to steady herself or to put your hand into a more comfortable position. Unfortunately you'll just have to endure while your skin toughens up. You can try offering a few fingers or a flattened hand instead of 1 finger. Pulling back will only confuse her if she is starting to step up because you are sending mixed signals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 sagittaruiusgirl89... using her beak, is not allowed! It causes pain, and your bird needs to learn this behavior, is not acceptable! Its not a matter about being patient, its a matter about letting bird know this behavior, is NOT acceptable! Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayd Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 sagittaruiusgirl89... using her beak, is not allowed! It causes pain, and your bird needs to learn this behavior, is not acceptable! Its not a matter about being patient, its a matter about letting bird know this behavior, is NOT acceptable! Nancy Mis-info Jayd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zandische Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 (edited) We got Seraph because she made googly eyes, wings and beak at my husband while I was playing with her brother, and then we decided it might be good for them to have a trusted buddy friend when they went to their new home. I have never seen a bird so in love from the first moment she laid eyes on her future person! THEN she came home, and by day 2 she was in love with me and my bird thought I was just his maid. Over the next year and a half my hubby and I worked hard to spend a lot of one on one time with our original birds, and while it wasn't always easy (especially with Gryph), eventually Seraph decided she preferred my husband after all. She and I still get along well and every now and then she wants me to "baby" her like I am momma-bird, but there is no doubt that my husband is her chosen person.. Gryph and I are finally falling in love after 3 years and a lot of adjustment, and our relationship is always going to be a work in progress. The hardest thing to learn for me was that a bird is not a dog - it doesn't love you "just because." It will love you deeply and madly and will be intensely loyal once its trust is given, but you have to earn that love. And much as it is with people, earning love takes time, respect, work and patience. Some birds (like people) give their hearts away more easily than others. :-). So just keep those things up! Edited July 27, 2012 by zandische Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greywings Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 The most common error made by people who get a Parrot of any kind is to try to force a behavior rather than allowing the bird time and choices. So take a deep breath find your calm spot and work from there slowly to build trust before results. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Just as a word of encouragement, Gilbert is not a baby, maybe ten years old and with issues. But, he goes back and forth with his loyalties. I like what Dave says about giving Ava treats without making her work for them in the moment. Another thing with Gilbert is if one of us offer a treat and he flings it in rejection, no one else goes right to him and offers to let him have it after a show of aggression. We all just give him space and cooling off time and then one of us approaches again later. Again, it is a little different with a rescue because he has had trauma. Your relationship with Ava is still really new and she will probably go back and forth with her preferences. Just stay steady and love her through it. It is really scary to face that beak in the beginning, but you will get to know her and read her body language better and find the best way to approach her at the best times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 I was very worried when Ryan went off to college. I thought Sophie would totally freak! He's the fun loving, no responsibility, member. They talked on the phone weekly. She adjusted right off! No change in her behavior. Of course, when he came home, she was excited and acted like he never left!Now if I work extra hours at work, I am punished, she will try to ignore me! Oh brother! Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexispolicastro Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 The eclectus female I fostered did this... I think Ava is bullying u... although she is only with u a short time ground rules have to be made... she's testing u to see what she can get away with... my husband suffered mostly from her and once he took the bite... bled like a gutted pig... and continued working with her she stopped... u can break her of this aggressive behavior ... a trick I made my husband do was to sit in a dark quiet room with her spectrum light on and put her on his chest and hum softly... then start petting her below the neck on her back.. soft gentle long strokes down the length of her back to her tail.. if she nips say no or a distraction sound but continue humming softly... when she looks calm .. try again.... and repeat the process don't push it though... sit for about 20 minutes to start.... and do it at night when she's full and getting ready for bed... be consistent and patient and show no fear of her bite... do this every night ... it worked for us...and I'm happy to say she is happy with her forever family and loves everyone... good luck... :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chezron Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Ava is a baby. Be patient and kind. You will learn body language as you both mature. Try to handle Ava when she is giving clear signals that she is in a cuddly mood and not liable to bite. Don't worry about her initially choosing your boyfriend because Ava can love more than one person, and it is possible she will switch in the future. Do not punish her in any way. You need to be the source of affection and acceptance- not pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carlsjr Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 boot the boyfriend. problem solved. well sort of Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elvenking Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 (edited) The best advice I have read here so far is to move slow. Dave had some of the best advice. Don't go all 'behavior modification' on your baby just yet. Proceed with respect and positive reinforcement. These are the only things that will help you I promise. You will not be 'strong arming' a bird into the behavior that you want. I can only imagine what such a bird would become. I own a grey who will nip me to communicate, but is overall a very loving bird. Sometimes we all need to be bit in order to get the message. Give your baby some comfort zone to grow and feel her surroundings out. It's all still very new. Whatever you do, do not get upset or angry. As you would have to disply patterns of behavior for a new human friend to grow trust, you must for your baby...and niether of you speak the same language. We are also "giants" to these birds. Understand that the world does not make sense to the babies. We have only compunded that by placing them in an an evironment with (in most cases) none others like them. Help them. The more you can put yourself in touch with the gravity of the situation as far as the bird is concerned. The more you will respect your grey. Edited August 1, 2012 by Elvenking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now