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Nervous About Leaving for Three Weeks


chezron

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I am going out of the country for three weeks. My husband will be taking care of the boys. I am not worried about the Amazon and the Quaker. I AM worried about leaving Brutus, the grey. He is very attached to me. He loves my husband too, but I don't want him to be sad when I am gone. Is that anthropomorphizing Brutus' emotional state unrealistically? I am, however, basing this expectation on what happened the time Jimpster, the quaker, flew away for three days. Brutus seemed depressed without his partner in crime. One thing I will be doing is "Skyping" Brutus while I am gone so he can see me talk on the computer screen. This is all I can do to keep in touch, so to speak. Am I pointlessly worrying? What has been your experience when you leave your birds for an extended period?

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I think your skype idea is a good one. I understand your feelings and fears. I haven't left Gracie yet, but the day will come. I have no doubt that Brutus will miss you, but I think he will be fine. Once you are home he might be moody for a bit. But you will find your stride.

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Okay, now he is freaking me out. I explained to him that i will be leaving for three weeks and that i will come back. Now he is saying (kind of incessantly), "Where's Mama?" and he only says that in the morning when my husband is up first. I think he knows that I am leaving and I feel so guilty.

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I think he is sensing your feelings rather than understanding you being gone for three weeks. I'm not sure they have the concept of time the way we do. I believe that when you interact with him you should imagine in your mind total peace and assurance that everything will be fine. If you project that to him, Brutus will settle emotionally.. They read us too well. Mirror the feelings you want him to have, and I think he will relax. He looks to you and then decides how he feels about it. Stress is contagious. Everything is going to be okay. This may be a chance for him to bond more with the others in his flock and will teach him that when Mom goes away--she comes back! That will give him security for the future. Your reaction is key here. Don't allow your worries to imprint onto him. See this as an opportunity for the flock as a whole. Enjoy your trip. I'm not sure if it's business or pleasure--but either way ENJOY!.

Edited by JeffNOK
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chezron... I totally agree with JeffNOK. I was concerned too when Ryan went off to college. Sophie thinks she and Ryan are best buds. ( yes, they are!) Sophie can't stand Ryan's girlfriend, as she distracts Ryan's attention. Sophie did just fine! They talked weekly on the phone, so I'm sure the computer would be even better! There were no behavior issues when Ryan went off. She seemed to understand. Of course, when he comes home, she is very excited, waiting at the door! Nancy

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Each Grey handles each situation differently. No one can predict how someone else s Grey will respond, all the can do is tell of how something similar played out with them. JeffNOK made some Greyt points..Beprepared, we wish for the best...

 

Side note: Some say, Greys are "Telepathic" [?]

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I think Brutus will be fine, I have left my grey for 10 days or more at a time several times in the time I have had her and she does fine, she is glad to see me when I return and its good to get away for periods of time now and then so they get used to our absense. My hubby took care of her and the other two birds, they didn't get as much out of cage time with me gone but then that just makes it all the sweeter when I get back for it means they get their regular schedule back.

Just don't fret about going away for he will pick up on that and be stressed from it, he knows something is up but if you remain calm and take it in stride then he will too and the three weeks will soon be over and you can get back to him and all will be right with your universe.

The skype thing will be great though he might wonder why he can't fly to you when he sees you in the screen.

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Getting a bird into and out of the US isn't easy. It takes a lot of planning and a lot of money. Dogs and cats are easy. They only need a health check and proof of rabies vaccine. I wish there was an easier way for those of us with companion birds.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Update:

I told Brutus i was leaving and for how long I would be gone. I talked via Skype, but Brutus wasn't comfortable with seeing my face on a computer screen. Weird thing happened. My husband reported that Brutus never said, "Where's Mama?" the whole time I was gone UNTIL the day we started traveling back home. He was amazed by this and so am I.

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Oh I forgot to include Brutus' reaction when I got home. His pupils all but disappeared when he first saw me. He was so excited and a total love puppy. He was not mad at all and had no hard feelings. Thank you for your support.

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Gosh, I missed this original post while we were traveling too. My thoughts were along the lines of everyone else, to reassure Brutus that you would come back but not to get stressed about it any more than you can help it. By leaving and coming home you are building trust with him and he is able to predict that you will reappear. And poof, just like that, you were gone and back in three weeks and to me it only seemed like the few minutes it took to read your thread. LOL. I am so happy it worked out so well for you. Congrats on your happy homecoming.

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