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How to train with trust issues?


Bonnie McDermott

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So I rescued a Grey that was kept in a warehouse for a pet store and he started to pluck himself. Since the day we brought him home there has been improvements. At first I wasn't allowed to go near the cage without him growling. As the days went on, he has allowed me in his cage to move things and put food in. However, if I came within 4 inches of him he would bite me. I have talked to him each day and he is taking treats from me and allowing me within an inch. He rarely bites as long as I stay that inch away. I would like to start working on "step up" with him. Any advice on what my next move should be? I was letting him out but it was so hard to get him back in without him doing the step up command. So, I don't know if it is better to allow him out and struggle to get him in or keep him inside until he steps up?

 

Any advice would be appreciated

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Here's Joe's first post, you can check for update's on the forum, I hope it might help. It's been 2yr's.

 

Jay

 

 

icon7.png Rescue #1 JOEY

 

Joey: Congo African Grey Parrot

Present Age: Four years old

Abuse Type: Mental and Severe Psychological (No visible sign of Physical abuse)

Background: We know the pet store that Joey had originally been purchased from. He had been weaned and clipped, never allowed to fly. For the next two years we had no record and we have not been able to speak to the previous owners. After purchasing Joey and with some help also with help from Joey himself, we have been able piece together some of his past history and his previous owners.

His previous owners were a well-established young couple. The female was never fond of any types of pets, did not fit her lifestyle. Joey had favored the male and there had been a bonding but it wasn’t a healthy bonding. Shortly after getting Joey, which brought problems to the marriage, the male was more interested in maintaining harmony than integrating Joey.

This brought about bickering over Joey between the two owners with the female getting more and more agitated, putting him in a small room by himself, being ignored by both of them except for cage cleaning, food and water. There was a lot of arguments that took place within earshot of Joey, possible marital abuse, yelling at Joey by both of them, cage being tapped, arguments about whether to keep Joey or get rid of him.

At this point, the owners decided, (not mutually) to get rid of Joey. So, at this point, Joey and his cage was taken to a pet store where the owner agreed to hold him for awhile and let Joeys owners visit him for a while (which was wrong). They only visited him three times over the next six months, arguing in his presence each time. At this point in time, we took Joey into our hearts and home.

 

The Homecoming: We didn’t know this young Grey’s name, so we called him Jim (Kirk) to go along with Spock. At this time, we had enough birds for everyone in the city. He was a quiet bird and would sit in his cage in the back and be soundless. He would let you change his water and food (he had been on seeds only diet). He would also shake if you came near the cage and would constantly head-search while chewing his toe-nails. He was extremely neurotic…he was a small bird and looked like he might have been stunted from lack of a proper diet. We introduced him to everyone and we did not attempt to hold him. We talked to him and talked to our other fids in front of him. If we saw that he was being extremely nervous, we would go out of our way to stop and talk to him with a “Hi Jim” etc, and we were slowly discovering the depth of his psychological and mental abuse. We left the cage door open whenever we were home and awake which at this stage was 24/7.

One day, Jay left the room and in the most concerned voice, Joey called out “Hello! Are you okay?” When Jay came back, Joey was standing at the open door looking down the hallway, looking for Jay to come back. He would also say “Hello”, “How are you?” at this time. He also started talking to himself…bringing up his past two years. While shaking badly, he would say things like “Are you going to feed me?” “Get a lawyer”, “You can run but you can’t hide!” “LIAR!”

He would make crying sounds…he would do this while we were not in the room (plus other things too sad to say). During this period, we were introducing him to all sorts of fresh veggies and fruits. (It has taken over a year to get him to eat veggies and fruits)

Besides his ruminations, he also started talking, calling to the other fids, calling us by name, singing but always reverting to his old self and chewing his nails and shaking. Out of nowhere, as Jay and I were walking by his cage, he looked Jay straight in the eye and said, “I’m Joey, NOT Jim”. He told us this twice (imagine us with our jaws on the ground) and we had to start changing his name on our threads.

Now and into the Future: Joey lets us hold him and play with him more each day. He is coming out of the closet so to speak…he is an ideal parrot in a number of ways but it is all from his abuse years. He has built his life on his own routines. He eats at the same time each day, he talks at the same time each day, he preens himself at the same time each day…he definitely has obsessive-compulsive tendencies. For the last two months we have not heard him say anything from his abusive past. He has a growing vocabulary and strong cognitive abilities which we believe has roots in his abusive years. He lets us hold him when he wants to. At times, he is very cage-territorial and he stays on his cage. He will perch and let you take him from his cage for a few moments only. We have a perch on the outside of his cage and he likes to spend most of his time looking out the window. He is extremely vocal and interacts with Spock and Salsa and lets both of them eat and drink from his bowls and he plays tail-chase with both of them on his cage. He is very insecure anywhere away from his cage. It is an ongoing process to try to get him comfortable enough to stay away from his cage. He has attempted to fly on four-five occasions to fly and they have been disastrous. This is definitely due to the fact that he was constantly clipped. (We have set out pillows on his common landing areas that is more often missed than hit.)

At times, he will revert to something that triggers his bad memories and will pin his eyes and draw blood out of the clear blue. Once he snaps out of it, he is very affectionate and loving.

The Future continues: On-going Progress: In the last couple of weeks, Joey has made some amazing changes. To everyone’s surprise, when you open his cage in the morning, he will hang from the top of the cage, wait for you to support him with your hand and involve you in beaky play. He will hang with one foot and grab your hand with the other (Yikes!) and play roughly while talking to you. (Non-Sexual) He’s molting and he’s also found out that a human finger is excellent for rubbing the pin feathers at the bend of the leg where it touches the body. In the few moments that he lets you hold him, he has leaned against our chest (on his own) and cuddled.

Now and Beyond: Daily, you can still see the pain that he has endured. When he thinks we are not observing him, he reverts to his shaking and nail chewing to a lesser extent. His most recent trait that the past is still current in is memory is when we have to leave, he will let out a couple of loud contact calls and puff up to almost twice his size and stare and you and call while you are leaving. It is so sad…

They NEVER forget…any abuse is a major and daily part of their lives and they live with it….it is always there to haunt them.

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excelent post jay,momo also behave like Joey.i dont know what happen into his past but he hates men and dsnt even let any men come around him.

maybe his ex-owner was really a bad man and treat him very bad so he still trauma from men around him :(

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  • 3 weeks later...

Thank You for your post. It was helpful. Clyde has become more trusting. He sticks his head out of the cage and bends down so I can pet him. Even if my hand is just lingering there he'll put his head under it so i can rub his neck and head. Odd because he still will not allow me near his chest/feet to teach "step up".

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Bonnie, here's my take on things (and others may disagree). With birds from these types of backgrounds, extra care is needed. The important thing is to build a level of trust with your bird and move at their pace. Your bird may never step up if he doesn't get comfortable with hands. That can be just fine. I have a 30 year old TAG that came from a hoarding situation. He has come so far in the time that I have had him - his one request of me is "hands off!" I have used clicker training and positive reinforcement to train him to step up onto a rope ring (he is also afraid of sticks) so that I can move him around. If he ever steps up, it will be on his own schedule and when he feels comfortable enough - not the other way around.

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I totally agree. Changing homes for one of our unique companions is all dependent on what they have experienced and it also depends on their innate character. Sometimes even when it is a dramatic improvement on their lot in life, it is still stressful to them and hard to accept. There is a major difference in the way we can handle a juvenile bird coming from a loving breeder who has helped the new home prepare and integrate the youngster into our home and the contrast of a rehome, rescue of an older bird who has been mishandled and traumatized. We have had both and each comes with challenges, but Gilbert is more of a challenge just to work to keep him from self-harm and to gently find a way to break his cycle of fears. Someone who takes over the care of a parrot who had a loving home and help with the transition and finds themselves with a cooperative and receptive friend from the onset is fortunate. I guess that is why we have to consider every situation as unique and what works for someone else may be a good suggestion to consider and apply any kernel of good to our own situation, but it really is uncharted territory and unique to every home and every parrot. Gentleness and trust building may take a long long time and seem really bleak in the beginning but it is winning the day with our little friend.

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A rehome or rescue parrot can be the most changeling and the most rewarding.

Old saying.

You can take a good person and find something bad about them.

And

You can take a bad person and find something good about them.

It all depends on what you are looking for.

The same for parrots

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Sarasota... I respect your advice. I don't disagree. I'm sure many on this site feel the same, so don't ever worry about us agreeing or disagreeing. Feel free to say what you want to say. You obviously have experience with rescued birds. Be proud of your experience, and offer your opinions! Many of us disagree all the time! It doesn't matter, because we really are a " family" of sorts. Our ultimate goal, is for the health, and safety of our birds. We all do different things, noone is right or wrong. Welcome Nancy

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Many of us disagree all the time! It doesn't matter, because we really are a " family" of sorts. We all do different things, noone is right or wrong.

 

Nancy, I'm sorry, this is wrong, some are right and others are wrong, end of story, our purpose is to provide "correct advice" that's why we debate.....Jayd

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  • 1 month later...

I am on my 3rd day with my Grey. :P Its a ReHomed African Grey. About 1 year or 2 years old, But its pretty big and seems healthy. Can't even get near his cage. He growls and growls loud if you get closer. I usually step away when he starts his first growl. He wouldn't come out of the cage, even when the door was left open. Keep in mind that its just his 3rd or 4th day. I too have to keep that in mind. :P So then I play this clip on my PC

http://www.arkive.org/african-grey-parrot/psittacus-erithacus/video-00.html

 

All of a sudden he "wakes up". Gets all excited. Starts making some excited sounds. Jumps up and down and flies out of the cage! Lands on the bookshelf. Takes a poop on my expensive books! The clip ends and he loses interest again and then it becomes a tough thing to get him back in the cage unless you can move the cage right infront of him. Then he goes in all by himself.

 

Its tough going for all of us, but we are working on him.

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