Our Family at Greyforums

[Talon]

One thing about me that my dear friends know, is that when something is weighing on my mind and I have had enough, I just have to let it out. Well, this is one of those times. I stay logged on here at Greyforums 24/7. I have access full time from my Blackberry, my iPad, or my computer. Every post that is written here comes directly to me in an email, I read them all. I see all the caring, helpful, loving members here who want nothing but the best for every bird here. I see that we all feel very attached, as a family, your bird is our bird, we love each and every bird here as if it was an extension of our family. We care for them, we worry when something isn't right with them, we laugh when we read their fun antics, we're proud when they take flight for the first times or say their first word. We get excited by every story we read. We smile when we watch their videos or see their pictures, proud Parronts we are! But we also cry when they leave us too soon, or are lost. It breaks my heart when I see posts like that, I cry and can't bring myself to read those sad stories, it's too painful for me.

 

I also see that many of us members have become good friends, we care about each other. We worry when others are having problems, we share in their accomplishments. For the most part we treat each other with respect.

 

Well, what has been weighing heavily on my mind, is the way I see others treat each other. Sometimes members bicker over being "Right"or "Wrong" and it can get personal. There is no right or wrong, there is only what works best in your home with your family and your flock. I think members tend to forget the personal side and that we are all human with personal problems, family problems, emotional issues, depression, suicidal thoughts, illness, terminal illness, etc. Sometimes being hidden by the Internet and a screen makes it easy to say things you wouldn't say to others faces. The written word can come across as cold and unfeeling. Feelings get hurt, offended, and angry.

 

I just want to remind everyone that you never know what's going on in someone's life. Being here trying to offer advice and help others may be the only purpose you have at that time in your life. If we can help someone in that manner, then I am happy to make that person feel better.

 

Sorry for the long post, but I just want to say, you never know the struggles that others are dealing with........have some compassion.... better yet, have LOTS of compassion....

[danmcq]

What a great post Penny! How very true your words are.

 

I know I am a very opinionated person and have a fiery personality to go with it as well. I still have flairs up's every once in a while, but try to just "let it go" because there is noting earth shattering that will happen if I do and really, it's mainly just my opinion barring something that is true and could harm a person, pet etc. I just let it go. Not always.. I am still a work in progress and will be until I die. But many times I chose to take the path of "If I don't have anything positive to say, I just don't say anything".

 

I am several decades old and being the personality I have always been, it is always an internal struggle sometimes and will be until I die. But if I don't keep it in check I hurt others and do not like that feeling later down the road when looking back. It seems as I age, the more I ponder on how I could have handled things better.

 

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.

[judygram]

Very well said Penny and I too have been guilty of giving my opinion and sometimes quite bluntly but I find that as I get older I am less inhibited to hold back but I hope I have not hurt anyones feelings in the process because it is not my intention to do so.

Like Dan in hindsight I see how I might have handled it better but no one is perfect and I have the best intentions in trying to be helpful to anyone in need of it. We do all have personal things going on in our lives, some have more to bear than others but we need to remember that we are all family here and should try to treat one another as such.

[TWIX]

Wow! My eyes are full of tears, this thread has touched me! Penny, you are 100% spot on, and i wish to quote one thing you have said and really stress on it: The written word can come across as cold and unfeeling. That's the secret we all need to learn when we join forums. The use of smiley faces in the forums is created to eliminate such issues. Although sometimes like you said, people may be facing some serious personal issues and they may say things that won't make you happy. I learned to ignore these comments and move on. There is no point after all, my life is very precious and i care about every moment left in it.

 

I have learned to live happy and let the others live, but i am no saint also! I do have my ups and downs and i regret things i've done in the past and wish i can go back in time to change them

 

What is life anyway? It can't be happy moments all the time, it's a mix of good and bad times and we have to acknowledge that. What we can do is try and live the happy moments the best we can and hold on to these moments. Take pictures of them, share them with your friends and family. Life is short and we're all getting older everyday and we may as well use it the best we can.

 

This is a classic thread that i have read in many forums before and in my opinion is a MUST read by all

[Ray P]

We are a world wide family and very often a phrases in one part of the world can be taken one way and in anouther part of the world anouther way and that is the hard part of being a world wide forum.

Some members have to use a Language translation software and what they are saying may not come out right in translation, so you need to take the time to understand what they are trying to say. And than there are some members like me who are not good at putting their thoughts into words and my typing is bad also.

[Talon]

my life is very precious and i care about every moment left in it.

 

 

I will be using this quote to live my life from this moment on...No truer words were spoken..Thank you for giving me this gift today out of all days....I needed this.....

[JeffNOK]

Yes this is indeed a family of sorts, and like any family we have quite a cast of characters. We have the gruff and crusty grandfathers, the doting aunts, the hippie sister-in-laws, and the eccentric great-uncles. We have the shy and sensitive little sisters and the big brothers full of bravado and self-assurance. We also have family fights and words said out of turn. I enjoy the motley crew that we are, but yes at times feelings can be hurt. I felt a bit slammed early on by a few responses to my posts, but I took the advice of one of the administrators and spent time to get to know where people were coming from before I made any judgments. I try very hard to be compassionate and appreciate the compassion in others. We all mess up at times, but if we continue to strive for the same goal of creating a community of respect, this forum will endure as a lifeline for all of us who share the joy of greys and try to provide the best life for them.

Edited June 20, 2012 by JeffNOK

[Luvparrots]

Well said Penny, that's why I think you are the perfect administrator for this Grey family forum. Yes we are family and some of us argue and state our feelings without thinking about how it can hurt others just like in a family. Many times I type something and step back and think about how I would react to such being said to me and most of the time I don't post my thoughts because I remember and rely on a statement I learned many years ago. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Thank you for this thread Penny.

[Spock]

AMEN!!!!

I know Jay wants to make a reply as soon as he is feeling better....

Maggie

[Jayd]

(Maggie typing for Jay)...All that has been written is so much more than true. My Friends..I'm old, I'm tired, time is precious. I fear I won't have enough time to pass on whatever help I can offer. As far as being ornery, no one can hold a candle to me...but there is often a reason behind it. I always try to do whatever is necessary to correct any misconceptions. I have always preached that the people of this forum are the greatest.

My favorite quote.."The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one..."

Live Long and Prosper

[Greywings]

I do try to be as diplomatic as possible and consider how what I am typing sounds when read back but when it comes to adding a little humor I sometimes fail and it gets painful for some one. Was bullied as a child in school and it taught me to try to leave everyone a little happier rather than tearing them down you never know when youur own words will come back to you. It also never helps the birds involved when we chase others always from our support and efforts at education.

[kittykittykitty]

Thank you, Penny, and thank all of you. Many of you are very exprienced parronts, breeders, rehomers, rescuers. Not only that, you have been willing to share your knowledge and with it, wisdom. What little I have shared, I do hope has been with love. Please know that has been my intent and accept my apologies if it has not come across that way. Again, thank you. Howardine

PS Both my typing and spelling leave much to be desired!

Edited June 23, 2012 by kittykittykitty