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Advice Needed


chezron

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Pancho seemed quite content at our house. He sang often, enjoyed his toys, and enjoyed his baths. Every six months or so, we take him, and the others, to the pet store where Pancho spent three years. We purposefully go when his favorite person is working. Pancho LOVES Raphael! Anyway, we went to get their nails clipped the other day. Pancho immediately saw Raphael and couldn't take his eyes off of him, until he came over. Pancho's eyes were pinning and his was tail fanning like crazy. Raphael can do anything to Pancho, scratch his head, stroke his body, etc. After we went home Pancho has been subdued and not as happy, and I feel bad for him. I wish Raphael had the time to take Pancho, but he already has a double yellow head, and he works a great deal. We can sometimes scratch Pancho's head, but more often than not, he nips at us when we aren't doing it right. At no time does he act as enthusiastic about seeing us as when he sees Raphael. We get a little eye pinning and my husband gets some tail fanning, but I feel we are cheating Pancho of a great partnership with someone who really floats his boat. What do you think? Should we try to find a better match for him? Should we work harder to engage him with the two of us?

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Personally, I would not take Pancho into the pet store when Raphael is there because it apparently upsets Pancho again and again to see Raphael. Since they cannot be together permanently I would try and help Pancho move on with his new family; you and yours.

 

I have a little story about Sully, the ekkie I "saved" from the local pet store and kept for 2 1/2 years until I found him a new home. Ana Grey my TAG totally hated him and would dive him all the time if they were out of the cage together. I just had to re-home Sully he was so miserable. The first time Sully saw me after his rehoming, he moved quickly up his new owner's arm and cuddled into his new owner's neck. Sully let me know quickly he did not want to be with me. I told him not to worry he was with his new owner forever. After that when I saw Sully I just said hi and moved on. Well one night when the neighbors and I were playing cards Sully climbed up my arm and onto my shoulder and give me a kiss on the cheek then quickly moved back to his new owner's shoulder. That brought tears to my eyes because it let me know that Sully was thanking me for giving him to a person who loved him and he was really happy. When Sully sees me now and I see him we don't converse, he knows where he belongs and so do I.

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I have to agree with luvparrots and Pancho has adjusted to you and your family.

Always work on your relationship with Pancho because they do change and it just takes time. Keep building your bond with Pancho.

Time and love will make all the differance.

Cricket taught me that.

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Janet and Ray couldn't be any more correct. In all the years that we have done re-homes and rescues, the first thing we tell the previous owner is "When you leave your bird here, it is goodbye. There is no reunions or visits once you give them up." This is one of the hardest things on a parrot; re-introducing to an original owner (this is bordering on unintentional abuse). The continued reinforcement of taking a parrot to the "scene of the crime" so to speak can be devastating, not only to the parrot but everyone involved. When we were surrogates and fledging other people's parrots, the hardest thing to do was not letting the parrot bond with us. After feeding or playtime, walking out of the room would bring tears because we loved them so much. This is what you are experiencing now. The best thing would not even take him back to that pet store, whether Raphael is there or not. Some parrots are affected strongly. It is time to move on, burn some bridges. Best to you, Jay and Maggie

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I agree with Jayd, you are inadvertently reinforcing the bond he had developed with Raphael when he lived at the shop. Just work on his trust building with you both, little treats, kind words & interesting things to do and see. He will replace that bond he had with Raphael but you need to avoid those love fests he was getting during those visits so he can make room for you in his heart.

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Gosh you guys! Great advice! I had no idea the harm i could be causing Pancho by bringing him back to the store and to Raphael. I thought I was being nice. oops! Pancho is quite happy here, maybe not as you say,"having a love fest" but happy nonetheless. The other day was indicative of some of the trust we are building. Something strange startled Pancho and he ran up my arm for comfort. The fact that he chose me rather than run or fly away was, I think, symbolic of how he feels. Thanks for the advice.

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