Shay Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 I have a pet african grey named Jagermeister. He will be a year old early this July. I love him dearly and he gives me no trouble, but he cannot stand my boyfriend. I've been looking around online and I've found that this is a common problem. We've tried setting him on the floor with only my boyfriend around to offer him a lift, he accepts it but growls the entire time and god forbid my boyfriend reaches to try and scratch Jager's head. We've tried using treats to reinforce positive behavior, but my grey really just wants nothing to do with my boyfriend. He wont even accept the treats, not even his favorite, peanuts. When my boyfriend even comes near the cage Jager starts to scream, and Jager actually sounds like he's literally being strangled or tortured if my boyfriend tried to give him a treat through the cage bars let alone try to take him out of the cage. I've even taken multiple trips to Nevada, leaving Jager in my boyfriend's care, thinking that maybe the time away from me would help them to bond; I was wrong. I read that this often stems from lack of socialization, but we're a young couple, we often have people over and multiple things going on around the house. Jager was well socialized from the very beginning, but then all of sudden he wanted nothing to do with hardly anyone but myself. The same way he treats my boyfriend, he treats all males. He isn't nearly as bad with girls, but still a little moody. It doesn't really matter to me if Jager likes or dislikes guests that come visit, but his absolute disdain toward my boyfriend is starting to cause problems. He wants us to "start over" with a friendlier bird, which of course, I refuse to do. I know my boyfriend would be content if he could just hold Jager without him trying to draw blood. Is there any way to make this happen? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvparrots Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Why not have your boyfriend give this a try. He should ignore Jager and just act as if Jager isn't around. Have your boyfriend eat some of the peanuts Jager loves and not offer any to Jager and make a big deal about how great them taste and how much he loves these peanuts. My parrots love whistling and singing so if your boyfriend is a whistler or singer have him sing/whistle around Jager and just show Jager no mind. See what Jager's reaction is to this and have your friend keep this up for awhile and see if Jager sees him differently. I have never let others touch or handle my parrots. It has always been my parrots choosing whom them like or want to be around. I find that if animals/parrots get to make the choices of their friends, the friendships are more lasting and satisfying for all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shay Posted May 21, 2012 Author Share Posted May 21, 2012 We will give that a try. Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayd Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Get a new boyfriend...NO, just joking, really....LOL...Janet's advice is really good! This is not uncommon. You're his chosen one right now. Since you've had the most contact with him, you are being favored. he's only a year old so a lot is going to change in the next 3-4 years starting with his eyes and his tail. Do like Janet says, have your boyfriend pull up a chair and read a book to him without you present. Again, as Janet says, don't worry about the touching right now. Time and patience are the keys to success. Welcome and thank you. Jay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shay Posted May 21, 2012 Author Share Posted May 21, 2012 LOL! Thank you. I will keep in mind that right now he's just a baby, and will be changing a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayd Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 LOL! Thank you. I will keep in mind that right now he's just a baby, and will be changing a lot. Please realize it was all in jest. Yes, time and patience prevails, Whom our parrot choose and why is still a mystery, right now your the dependent one, and your baby doesn't want to share. Keep your good attitude and I can see that you are a Gryet Parront..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Shay... hang in there! Typical behavior of a grey. They tend to pick one person. Sophie was adopted at age two, from a great home. She chose just me. She wasn't allowed to do so, We were a package deal. They are just babies. We opened her cage, played games together in front of her cage. We demonstrated that we were " all bonded". Demonstrated our affection for each other. It confused her, which was our goal. When she finally hung out with us, we took turns getting her to stepup. When she bit, we all were strict, grabbed her beak gently, said " NO BITE!" As a family, we made goals for her, and were consistent how we would respond to negative behavior. We also did around six months of " timeout"( five minutes), for terrible behavior. She learned.It truly was easy for her. Ten years later, Sophie loves us all. She steps up to all of us. We are all very protective, and boy, does she know it! She is also very protective towards us. nShe is loved, and secure with that knowledge. Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayd Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Shay, Please don't ever grab your babies beak !! This is wrong in so many ways. Never apply any force or physical actions towards your Grey or any other parrot, not even lightly or in jest. A simple "I don't like that", or "Not nice" is plenty". Attempting to force or train your baby to bond or accept everyone equal is not normal to a Grey or even a human. You like me or else, doesn't work. I know your intelligent and already no what I'm saying....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 Jayd... you misunderstood what we did as a family. You don't have to agree with it. Gently grabbing a beak, saying " NO!", when they bite, is not harmful. You are teaching acceptable behavior! Six months later... Sophie was sitting on my wrist, biting the air, saying... " NO BITE!" She finally understood. I did a " celebrating dance", kids were notified that Sophie understood. It was the last time she ever bit us. A decade ago. Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayd Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 Thank you Nancy, what ever you say, I was wrong again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffNOK Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I have to say Jager is a very handsome boy! I don't have much advice to offer beyond what has been said, but I just want to encourage you that time, patience, love, and security will never fail you with a grey. Greys do pick favorites often, but there is no reason that your boyfriend cannot work toward a relationship of mutual respect and eventually friendship in time. The key is not to have a timetable, but to make to commitment and just stay the course with unconditional love. Best of luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayd Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Jayd... you misunderstood what we did as a family. You don't have to agree with it. Gently grabbing a beak, saying " NO!", when they bite, is not harmful. You are teaching acceptable behavior! Six months later... Sophie was sitting on my wrist, biting the air, saying... " NO BITE!" She finally understood. I did a " celebrating dance", kids were notified that Sophie understood. It was the last time she ever bit us. A decade ago. Nancy On this one page there are 10 references alone to "Don't Grab Beaks".Other Mistakes To Make So what else DON'T you do? You do not under ANY circumstance, use violence against the bird. If you do, even if you don't physically harm him, you will do permanent damage to your relationship with him -- like I said earlier, violence does not appear to be a routine flock behaviour, and your parrot simply will not understand your use of violence against him -- so odds are, he will never be able to trust you again. There is a lot of outdated and incorrect advice being given about biting parrots. People are often told to grab the bird's beak and shake it and yell NO!! This doesn't work for two reasons. First, we have now realized that grabbing a parrot's beak [what experts call "Beak Wrestling"], is considered to be play behaviour between parrots. Secondly, as mentioned before, parrots love the drama of a person yelling. So once again, in our effort to give negative feed-back to parrots, we have only succeeded in rewarding them. It also doesn't usually work to punish by putting the bird in its cage, because by the time you get him there he's probably completely forgotten the connection between biting you and being locked up. Obviously, he can't bite you again because you've removed him from your vicinity, but you haven't taught him anything about NOT BITING. http://www.pricelessparrots.com/parrot-biting.htm http://www.sbulanda.com/parrots-4.htm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talon Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Shay... hang in there! Typical behavior of a grey. They tend to pick one person. Sophie was adopted at age two, from a great home. She chose just me. She wasn't allowed to do so, We were a package deal. They are just babies. We opened her cage, played games together in front of her cage. We demonstrated that we were " all bonded". Demonstrated our affection for each other. It confused her, which was our goal. When she finally hung out with us, we took turns getting her to stepup. When she bit, we all were strict, grabbed her beak gently, said " NO BITE!" As a family, we made goals for her, and were consistent how we would respond to negative behavior. We also did around six months of " timeout"( five minutes), for terrible behavior. She learned.It truly was easy for her. Ten years later, Sophie loves us all. She steps up to all of us. We are all very protective, and boy, does she know it! She is also very protective towards us. nShe is loved, and secure with that knowledge. Nancy I don't agree with grabbing their beaks for any reason...... It isn't a behaviour that they can possibly understand. They are not dogs or kids. They should not to be expected to behave as such. Our birds need to be treated as the species they are, They should NOT be expected to behave as a family member with the same expectations we expect from our dogs and kids, etc. they have special needs and need to be treated in the language that they understand, not ours. No offense Nancy, I'm not trying to pick a fight or arguement, but you always tell us how Sophie must live by YOUR rules, YOU are the PARENT. That is not at all how I believe a relationship should be with any bird. I can't help but wonder if Sophie is so well behaved as you say, because she is fearful and not allowed to flourish as a true grey.......JMHO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Jayd... that wasn't the point, for different opinion! nANCY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Jayd...DON"T PUT IT ON ME! NANCY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talon Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Last warning, if this doesn't stop..I'm locking this thread, all GOOD intentions have ended, such a shame, this thread was too be helpful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shay Posted May 26, 2012 Author Share Posted May 26, 2012 Just wanted to step in and say that Jager is already improving! Listened to the treat advice and the one-on-one time. I also made it a point to watch very closely how my boyfriend was approaching Jager, and I noticed that a lot of the problem was this. He was moving too quick and without Jager seeing his hand first. Once I told him to go a lot slower and let Jager know his hand is coming in for a scratch, Jager actually started bending his head in anticipation of the scratch! There's definitely still room for improvement, but accepting scratches and treats instead of responding by screaming and lunging for me is much better! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvparrots Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 This is excellent news Shay!!!! I am delighted for you and your boyfriend and especially for Jager!! Jager is blessed to have such a caring and loving parront! Good going!! Looking forward ot hearing how things continue to grow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffNOK Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Great observation Shay. My grey also is very wary of fast moving hands. Hopefully with some subtle adjustments you boyfriend and Jager will get along well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momo Posted May 27, 2012 Share Posted May 27, 2012 yeyyy congrats shay!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Talon, don;t lock the tread! We have different beliefs... not a bad thing! We can work it out! Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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