My African Grey only bonds with me and is rejecting my GF HELP PLEASE!

[bduckworth7274]

Hello All,

 

I just recently bought an African Grey Parrot, around 2 weeks ago. She is around 5 years old and is already talking to us both and will do step ups with us. She is bonding to me particularly well. She will let me pet her and rub her, and loves sitting on my shoulder. But she wont cuddle or let my girlfriend pet her at all, and when I am not home wont really respond to her. Is there a way to increase bonding between my girlfriend and Bella (my african grey)?

 

Thank you,

Braxton

[Jayd]

(Maggie writing for Jayd) Greetings and thank you for giving a re-home an always home. The trick and secret is time and patience and patience and time. You'll do well! Thanks Jay and Maggie

[Momo]

this is happen to me too.we had him around 2 months now and he cant even tolerate my husband to get near him(scream and attack his toys).the only thing my husband can do is bribe him with peanut and he will come to him.but of course,only steal the peanut and runway from him after that.my husband really love him too,but he dsnt know that.

[TWIX]

Yeah same here! DJ will only accept me, not my wife, my daughter or the maid. The advice from the forums members is to wait and be patient, i have to be around when they try and pet him. The more we do that the more he will accept them.

[bduckworth7274]

Thank you,

 

Yea I have been reading similar situations and it appears that time and patience are the only two ways to fix this. So We will be patient and try to form that bond slowly. The problem is that my gf gets a little upset and hurt when she wont do anything with her. Almost to the point of anger. My gf would never do anything to hurt Bella, but can Bella sense her anger, and if so would this hinder the bonding?

 

Thanks,

Braxton

[judygram]

but can Bella sense her anger, and if so would this hinder the

bonding?

 

You dang skippy she can sense her anger or most any other emotion, they are very in tune to our feelings and react accordingly so your gf is going to have to get her feelings under control if she wants to have a good relationship with Bella and it will take time especially since she is 5 years old, she is almost mature and it will take even longer to gain her trust. She should not take it personally when she rejects her as she is only doing what comes naturally so tell her to take a deep breath and change her ways of dealing with Bella and see if in the coming weeks and months there is some change. Bella may never bond with her like she obviously has to you but it can still be a good relationship, my grey is bonded to me but she allows some interaction with my hubby, it is different from what she will do for me but it works.

[danmcq]

As others have said, only time and patience will slowly evolve how close your Bella and girlfriend will become.

 

You are the "Chosen One" and that is the way it is with greys and even other parrots as well. Any other house hold (flock) members are second fiddle and have much less interaction abilities most the time with them. The grey, not the human will decide when and how much interaction will take place over time. Your girlfriend is going to have to except this and just chill. As Judy said, they can sense emotions in a heartbeat and no one can mask it. I guess in a sense it is much like Humans, some people we love, some we are friends with (no head scratching though ), some we barely tolerate and some we out right hate and want nothing to do with them.

 

Most importantly, just love and enjoy that intelligent sentient being you have become privileged to share your home with. You will be amazed each and everyday at how intelligent and talented they are.

[Momo]

hi braxton,

is very normal if ur girlfriend upset.even my husband really upset and sad when my momo rejecting him.not only rejecting,he see my husband as his enemy.

actually this start more worse and worse from the time my husband show momo his emotion of being upset,sad,and dissapointed(so i belive 100% he can sense anger).you dont want this happen to your girlfriend,so tell her to control her emotion.i know is easy to say it but difficult to do it.im also working on it to make momo accept my husband.well,hope he will one day.

good luck!!!

[aerial.2000]

Marco is totally doing the same thing here as well. She is bonded with me for sure. When hubby wants her she screams and bites but he is still is able to at the very least have her step up and sit. As long as he doesnt try to love on her or pet her, she is content to atleast sit on his hand. I let hubby take Marco off my shoulder or where ever we are sitting at nite (round bedtime) and put Marco in her cage every night. That is "his" little ritual with her and she accepts it. She squawks alot in protest but then resigns to the fact that its ok and its bedtime. I make sure that he talks to her the whole time hes carrying her to the cage saying its bedtime and night night, and he even has his own little whistle call that he shares with her. Thats the best he can do for now and hes "ok" with that .... he tells the boys all the time "Thats your mothers bird" lolol :D I think its kinda cute when he is holding her she is lookin at me like ... How long do I have to sit here with him mom? LOL Maybe she would act a wee bit better if I wasnt in the same room when he worked with her. We'll have to try that out!

[judygram]

Maybe she would act a wee bit better if I wasnt in the

same room when he worked with her. We'll have to try that out!

 

Yes you will definitely have to try that for she may be more receptive of him if you are not present, may be be best if you aren't even home, then he can work with her without the distraction of her favored person, do try that and let us know how it works out for you.

[Acappella]

This sounds a little new-agey but it worked for me. An animal behariourist I had over early on in Dorian's life with me told me to approach him as if he was already the bird I wanted him to be. I swear it helped. They are so sensitive to our moods, our body language, the tone of our voices. When I started approaching Dorian with a happy spirit and a relaxed body, he responded by being more relaxed and happy with me. This is a case of "train the human, not the bird" lol.