I'm starting to get worried.

[Cheshire Cat]

Im going to New York with my dad in just over three weeks now and Tui will be left with my mom. My mom can't come with us as she's disabled and has emphysema (also on oxygen). So we've agreed that Tui's cage will be brought downstairs as she's normally in my room and my mom can care for her downstairs. My sisters will also be visiting daily to help my mom.

 

I'm worried that Tui might become upset when I leave. My eldest sister did suggest calling and putting the phone to her cage so she can hear my voice. I went away last year only for a weekend and Tui seemed very distant when I came back and that was only three days. This will be seven!

 

I know my mom and sisters will take very good care of her, but I'm worried how she'll feel. My sister did talk to me about it the other day and my ex fiancee left the home back in January and she'd bonded well with him. I'm scared she'll think I've left her, too.

[katana600]

I feel the same sense of betrayal and concern when I know I have to leave Gilbert. He has had a lot of change in his young life and he does hold it against me when I leave for a day or two. Although Tui will miss you, I don't think they have the same concept of passing time so a couple of days vs seven shouldn't be "twice as bad". I think based on Gilbert's earlier plucking and anxiety issues when he first came, then with me leaving and coming back, gradually he is less distressed with my coming and going. It is a really good thing for you to have a vacation, rest and new viewpoint in your life and Tui will benefit from that when you grow with her. Even if Tui thinks you've left her, she will have the experience of knowing you will come back. If it is possible to move her downstairs a while prior to your departure, maybe she wouldn't associate that with your "disappearance" which would be a cue that "something bad is going to happen" when you leave again or when you move to a new home or other life changes that come along in the normal course of life. I would highly recommend that you talk to her about leaving when it doesn't distress you and tell her now that you are leaving for a while but you are coming back. Like, when you leave for work, tell her goodbye, I'll be back and then make a fuss to greet her when you come back. I think they are capable of understanding a lot. She may have seemed down when your ex left, but she also may have been picking up your stress at the change in your life. Seize the day, live and have fun, be considerate of her but teach her that you are coming back and don't let the guilt hold you back.

[Doug]

I travel a lot for business. Sometimes for a week or two at a time. Ellie is always hugely excited when I return. (Not quite as insane as the dogs, of course, but much more so than the children!)

 

I work from the home, so it is more dramatic for her when I do go on a trip. (She doesn't have the daily departures of my going to the office during the day.)

 

I'm sure that it will be difficult, but put away that guilt. (My wife was the same way with our kids when we'd go away for a long weekend on our anniversaries... The kids were always, "Yeah, whatever." or "Bring me something.")

 

Tui will be just fine - it sounds like you have a good support system in place. Hopefully your mom & sisters will take some time to chat with Tui...

[Cheshire Cat]

I know that my mom and sisters will do their very best for Tui. My one sister has a parrot herself - an Indian ring neck and previously had an Orange Winged Amazon who sadly passed away a couple of months ago. My other sister loves Tui but is quite nervous of her as Tui puts people on their guard. She's fine with me, but will 'eye people up' and threaten a little peck if she doesn't know them as well.

 

I'm glad to see that it shouldn't be a huge ordeal for her, but I will definitely try what was mentioned and maybe bring her cage downstairs a few days before I leave. That should help and get Tui used to new, although temporary, surroundings.

[judygram]

Tui will probably give you the cold shoulder when you come back but she should come around soon, some greys are like this when their chosen one goes away for a few days and some are so glad to see you they cling for a while on return but we need to get away from time to time and they will adjust. Sounds like Tui is going to be well taken care of.