Papaleka Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 hi everyone, my husband and I are new owners. We inherited a 5 year old african grey from a man who did not treat her very well. He would lock her in a small plastic box when she was "bad" (aka bit him or talked too much) and yelled at her. We have now had her in our home for about a month. She ADORES my husband...so much so that several times when he pets her she pants, and holds her wings out a little...does this mean she is sexually aroused? (I read something about that) on the other hand, she hates me and bites me HARD if I get my hand to close to her...except if I go to pick her up..she is ok with that...just not with me scratching her neck as he does. She has drawn blood a couple of times. Am I her rival for my husbands attention? how can I get these behaviors to stop? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 Hello Papaleka and welcome to our family, so glad you could give this bird a new forever home. I am afraid that some greys do pick a favorite person even though there are others in the household and it doesn't have to be the one who does all the feeding, cleaning and taking care of the needs of that bird and there is not a lot you can do about it but accept it. That deplorable that this grey was treated the way she was before she came to you and it will take a lot of time to get her to trust since she was abused. Since she has chosen your husband as her favorite he should not be petting her down the back, under the wings or anywhere around the tail area as those are the places that touching will arouse her sexually and you do not want to do that. Lowering her wings and panting is sexual arousal and he should divert her attention to a toy or just walk away from her for a bit until she calms down. When you are trying to interact with her don't force your affections on her, let her decide if she wants you closer, stay back a ways until she shows signs of acceptance and take your time, you don't want to rush things and since she is a mature bird it will take longer than if she were a baby grey. We have a thread on reading body language so be sure to read thru it thoroughly so you can see the signs and possibly avoid most bites. You might also have more luck interacting with her when he is not around for once the favored person enters the room all others are ignored. What is her name? If you have some pictures of her you would share with us we would love to see her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray P Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Judy as always gives and has given great advice. The only thing I may add is never give up on a grey because they very often will surprise you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xSarahx Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Hiya and welcome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aerial.2000 Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 I agree, dont give up! She might not pick you as the favorite but I think she will still "in time" interact with you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Life is Greyt Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Welcome to the forum!!! Everyone has given you great advice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Ellie is not terribly friendly with my wife Kelleigh. Kel can pick her up if she is on the ground, give her a treat, and touch her beak. But if Kel tries to pet her, Ellie will nip and back away. Despite Kel calling Ellie a "Fish" (when my son was little, he couldn't say "fish" and he said "b*tch" instead. So, of course, we say "fish" when we mean the other...) she keeps trying. Lately, when she reaches out to Ellie, sometimes Ellie will lower her head for a scratch. Not for very long (Ellie will let me scratch her head until my fingers cramp some evenings...). We're making progress, but it is slow. Just be patient and let the bird set the pace. Gentle approaches and don't try to scratch it unless it asks for it. Build up trust with treats, spend time chatting (at a comfortable distance). I'm sure it will all be good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papaleka Posted March 29, 2012 Author Share Posted March 29, 2012 thank you so much for replying! I'll let the husband know your advice as well! Her name is Pheobe, I do have pics but will have to post them another time as I dont have my camera with me at the moment. the funny thing is, she is perfectly ok with me kissing her beak. I think one of her problems may be that she's overly territorial, as the man who had her before never let her leave her cage. Now that we have her, we have built her a portable perch so she can be wherever with us, but she soon flies/walks back to her safety zone, the cage. It's not an ideal house for bird training, as I have read that they do better if they can't see thier cage to fly back to it, and we live in sort of a studio apt. Thanks for the advice! Keep it coming! Pictures to follow soon. -Papaleka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papaleka Posted March 29, 2012 Author Share Posted March 29, 2012 Judy,,,can you direct me how to find the thread on body language? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Ellie will let Kel give her a kiss as well. Give it time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christol Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 I also agree please dont give up on your grey, I have had Lillie for almost 2 months (she is 8) her previous owner told me that Lillie loves men but hates women and has never in her 8 years allowed a woman to give her scritches or back rubs. I found this to be true, every time I got any where near her head she would attack and usually brought blood, she lets my husband and son scritch and rub her back anytime they want! BUT just last week I was holding Lillie and she lowered her head and allowed me to give her scritches, this went on for an HOUR!!! She has allowed me to do this every day since. My husband and son are still her favorites, but at least we are making progress. So please dont give up, it just takes time and patience but most of all LOVE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TWIX Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 Amazing stories again and again! Welcome to the forums and i hope you can get closer to your parrot soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now