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New African Gray Owner


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Hi Grey Forums! I am proud to announce that my fiance and I have become new African Gray Parrot owners since 5pm yesterday :) And We are thrilled to have added Toby, our new 9 year old parrot, as a new family member of our apartment. I just have a few questions about Toby and other African Grays that puzzle me...I was a previous bird owner before Toby, having 2 blue and green parakeets, but I am noticing some prominent differences that are quite new to me. I have always known that you must have patience when trying to first handle your bird, especially after just taking them home, and that the initial goals are earning your birds trust and respect. It baffles me that my fiance can almost briskly walk right up to Toby and say to him "Step up" and the bird will just stick out his leg and hop right onto my fiance's hand. If I try to walk carefully and slowly up to Toby while gently offering him my hand to let him know that I wont hurt him and that he can trust me, he just pushes my hand away with his beak and scoots away. I know Toby's previous owner used to be a truck driver, and I'm not sure if this has anything to do with it...but could it be that the bird simply likes men better than he does women? My voice is a good bit lighter and softer than my fiance's...And also does my precaution and slow movements toward Toby make him feel even more uneasy? Do i just need to act more confident and sure of myself when trying to handle him? (And Yes I do know these tings take *time* esp. for a new bird to warm up to you) If anyone can share any insight on these kinds of things I would appreciate it; I won't lie I am getting a tad bit jealous :P

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We just adopted a grey as well :) Noodle definitely prefers men (specifically my fiance) to women, but we've been practicing getting him to warm up to me for several months now. All I can suggest is patience, which is the advice I got from other members here at this forum; it really works, too. Another thing would be to be careful about withdrawing your hand too quickly if he bites, which can tell the bird that by biting, he gets what he wants (in this case, no more hand in his face haha). Good luck, can't wait to hear more about your birdie!

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Hello Ahoover and welcome to our family and congrats on your addition of Toby to the flock.

Some greys just like men more than women and vice versa but do not take this personally, it may just take more time for Toby to accept you and you may have answered your own question, ""Do i just need to act more confident and sure of myself when trying to handle him?"" definitely yes. Your fiance may be more confident when interacting with Toby and they do sense fear and uncertainty so try it with confidence and see what happens.

Greys are very different from other birds especially parakeets but you will learn lots from reading thru the threads here as it is from experienced grey owners who have firsthand knowledge of all aspects of living and sharing your life with such a magnificent creature and if you have any questions feel free to ask and we will help you in any way we can.

Pictures are always welcomed here.

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I have a boy (Egan) and he definitely prefers me. If he is in his cage he will try to bite my husband unless he is offering Egan a treat. If Egan flies to the floor, I encourage my husband to go get him. He doesn't bite him when he's being "rescued". (Egan was clipped by his breeder so he is not fully flighted.) I don't know if that helps or not but if you can set up situations away from the cage and "familiar" area, you might be able to start working with Toby.

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Thanks everyone for the advice, I figured that was the problem...And I've already noticed by acting less cautious he seems more comfortable with me (Even showing some tough love and playing a little hard to get makes him want to be cuddly with me! haha) I never would have thought...he must be quite confident.

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