I'm pregnant! - questions

[mareeee]

*Long (hopefully not too incoherent) post warning!*

 

Hey everyone! So, I've been wanting to make this post for awhile now, but I finally worked up the courage. My husband and I are expecting our first (human) baby in August. Charlie, our TAG, is about 4 years old and I'm worried about how he is going to adapt to not being an "only child" anymore. Pretty much whenever we are home, he is out of his cage chilling with us. I know the first few months with a baby are going to be difficult anyway since I probably won't have much sanity and very little time beyond trying to figure out the whole 'mother' thing.

 

Anyone else survive being a first time mom with a bird? How did your feathered kid react? Charlie is a pretty resilient little bird. He has traveled Africa, survived a month all alone in quarantine, moved several times, survived being randomly left for a week or so at a time (with strangers checking on him), and he is a happy bird who still loves us. I know that ultimately after we figure out a new routine, he will adapt just fine, but I'm just worried about making the transition and easing the growing pains.

 

I'm also worried about jealousy. Originally he preferred my husband, but he switched his affection to me about two years ago when we left Africa. (I was around more and my husband started working crazy hours.) Charlie doesn't mind the other person, but he plays favorites. Since I have been pregnant, he started to shift his affection a bit back towards my husband. I don't know if its because I've been grumpier with shorter patience (since I haven't been feeling great) or what. This is probably a good thing though, since I hope my husband can be more of a constant for him (ie: won't have a baby hanging from his boob for long periods of time...), but I know he will still be jealous of the baby getting more attention. Fortunately, Charlie seems to have gotten used to being 'ignored' occasionally when we can't give him the attention he wants, as long as we love him later, but he gets grumpy sometimes.

 

So, is there anything I can try to do now to help ease this transition? I have a million and one other things on my mind with this pregnancy, but Charlie is a huge part of our lives. Ever since we started trying to get pregnant, we've talked about how Charlie will deal with it. He is our first baby!

 

PS -- I've been taking pics of the belly, laying down with Charlie on my stomach. I'll post a slideshow progression once done

[thenabrd]

i've only dealt with bringing home a baby with dogs in the house. we were told that the father should bring the baby into the house for the 1st time and that the mother should spend the 1st minutes with the dogs, fussing over them with out the baby. then let the father "introduce" the baby to the dogs. it worked great! we just had to make sure we were still giving the dogs attention and tried to make sure during naps that they got some special time.

 

now when we were getting ready to bring kallie home we did a few things to get athena ready. we had a dog at the time, but never another bird. we got kallie's travel cage ahead of time and put it in the living room. i slowly moved it closer and into the area that kallie's big cage would go. then i found an almost life size color picture of a grey and put it in the travel cage. then we started doing things as if the picture was kallie. i'd talk to athena then "kallie", i'd change out food/water dishes, athena 1st, then "kallie", take care of athena's cage, then "kallie's", etc. don't get me wrong, athena was still jealous, but she wasn't freaked out by all the new items.

 

so maybe you could start introducing the baby items you'll be using around charlie so he sees them. explain what they are and what you're doing. maybe you can find a doll to go through the actions (holding, dressing, feeding, etc) you'll be doing with the baby around charlie, so he sees and gets comfortable with it. maybe you can find video of babies babbling, crying, etc so charlie can hear what babies sound like. he'll still get jealous, but hopefully won't freak out with the actions and items. just make sure at nap time, charlie gets some special time and treats.

[Zoom]

Congratulations on the new baby! It sounds like Charlie has been brought up well and is pretty adaptable to new things. I bet he handles the baby well too. You don't sound like the kind of person who will just push him aside and ignore him once the baby arrives, and as long as he feels included (ie still an important part of his flock) I think he'll be okay.

[Mistyparrot]

Congratulations. Charlie sounds like a well socialised parrot. I doubt that he sees himself as your child but as a junior flock/family member. I think as long as you explain to him what is happening he will be just fine. There is a good chance he understands you are pregnant. As you know Greys are very in touch and observent so he will not be surprised when new baby arrives.

Normally Greys are family oriented birds so he will probably accept the new baby as a family member. Just hope he dosen't teach the baby to fly or you will be in trouble!:eek:

 

 

Steve n Misty

Edited February 10, 2012 by Mistyparrot

[Thebirdistheword]

Congratulations on the baby!

[JeffNOK]

Best wishes and blessing on your new addition. The advice above sounds great. Hopefully your new baby and your feathered baby will become lifelong friends.

[Gwen]

Congrats!!!! Just wait until you hear two babies crying..... One will be Charlie imitating LOL LOL LOL

[kins2321@yahoo.com]

mareeee... congradulations! We all expect to see pictures of new human baby as well! It is sooo exciting to be pregnant for the first time. A new chapter in your life is starting. I agree with all, your babies WILL get along just fine. If your bird knows this new addition is extremely important to you both, then it will be extremely important to them. Of course, spend extra time with your bird to know they are still just as important, as before. IE: While you are feeding baby... have hubby sitting nearby with your bird watching and talking to bird. Make it a family event! Nancy

[Guest danielsingh]

Hi and Congrats !! on the baby,

 

When my wife was due, Milo (our pet sun conure) was very jealous and possessive about me and seeing me carrying our

daughter Milo would scream and fluff up as to be defensive.

 

But gradually bringing our daughter in front of her cage and spending time and petting Milo holding our daughter

in one hand made Milo realise that our baby is not a threat to her share of love and she started understanding

and in few weeks she would expect to see our baby more and more.

 

Now she does not peck but is very excited to see our daughter.

 

I am not sure how much this helps you but spend time and eventually it will all work out.

 

Now i have another such situation but this time, its a new BABY CAG and our daughter is

defensive about the CAG, but getting over the feeling. Dan

[oblivion]

I have nothing to add other than congratulations and support for most of the advice above.

[Luvparrots]

I am a grandmother not a new mom but I have had my premature born grandson around my jealous Ana Grey. I always talked to Ana Grey and explained about little Dino and that she needed to be good to him. You know Ana Grey has always been respectful of Little Dino from day one. She would sit quietly on the back of my rocking chair while I feed the baby his bottle or rocked him to sleep. And she would sit quietly on her perch while I changed his diaper. She seem to understand that the baby needed me more than her. After I put the baby to bed of course Ana Grey got oodles of scratches and loving. The same happened when I first got Sterling Gris, my CAG at 5 months and he needed a night feeding. Ana Grey never interfered and would sit quietly on the back of my chair or on my shoulder and patiently wait until Sterling was finished eating. Of course, now that he is older, she beats the tar out of him, but then that is what siblings do!!! The point is, greys are very smart and intuitive and if you talk to your grey and always include Charlie I believe all will be fine. From your post, you are all ready doing that.("...laying down with Charlie on my stomach. ....") Congratulations on the new addition to your family.

[mareeee]

Thanks everyone! I appreciate the support! I hope to introduce all the baby furniture and 'stuff' slowly, so not to freak him out. I like the idea of using a baby doll too, hehe. I found links to baby sounds (like crying and babbling) on a site that talked about getting your dog ready for a new baby... It kinda spooks Charlie right now, but I'll try to get him used to it (although I don't want him to start repeating the sounds quite yet..).

 

I'm sure I'm being over anxious, but I know it is going to be a huge change in our house. Hopefully we will all survive!

[KimKim]

I just had a baby too, well 4 weeks ago. Throughout my pregnancy I talked to Babalu about the baby, and said baby a lot. I already knew he liked kids because he loves my niece. But... I have had almost no time for Babalu recently except for letting him out of his cage on the perch and preparing his mash. Then he pretty much stays on the perch all day unless he flies to his boing. He already makes sounds like Sophie, but he also has become more annoying. Like making car alarm sounds and his real high pitch chirp (that is his fav and does it the most). The chirp hurts our ears and he does it when we are in the room and out of the room. I think he does it when he is not happy or doesn't want us or him to do something.

[kins2321@yahoo.com]

KimKim... I know how much work it is to take care of a new baby. Please find a few minutes to take care of your grey. It is vital, for their survival with the family. Nancy

[KimKim]

He is being taken care of, what I meant was, he is not #1 anymore (like my hubby always thought)

[judygram]

Congrats on your impending new arrival, it will be difficult to juggle a new baby with having a grey in the house but it can work if you want it to, make providing some time for Charlie a priority for you made the committment to him when you brought him into your home and your life. Not that it means your baby has to suffer for it but babies grow into children who won't be as demanding of your time then and Charlie will still be the same.

[oblivion]

Coming up on go time! I hope all's well with you, baby, and bird!

[JeffNOK]

You've gotten some great responses. I hope that you can get a sense from all here at the forum that "It's all going to be OK"! A wonderful life awaits with baby and bird. Have a great adventure!

[katana600]

We have had other members who brought home the first child into a home with established parrots and although it was a challenge to give everyone attention all at the same time, it seems, it went just fine in the long run. Our rehomed TAG was not let go because of the baby and got along for two and a half years and there were three older kids under eight in the home as well. He still makes a soft baby crying sound when we scratch his head. It seems like he uses that in an endearing way. You sound as if you are thinking out loud and just planning for anything that comes your way. The only thought I have is maybe to have time set aside for Charlie to be in his cage just a little bit more and find toys and things that entice him to be in there so that when the baby does come, he may not connect the two or feel like he is being deprived by cage time. I am just guessing. Hope it just goes like clockwork. Congrats on your new baby!