Some of you may remember this...

[HeatherStrella]

I posted about this a while back. I had a friend who got a Grey after seeing mine. First thing, they had his wings clipped...twice...the second time was so short, he looked deformed. I visited twice in a couple weeks and both times, the bird's water dish had a white ring with some slimy looking stuff in it. I gave the bird fresh water and he just drank and drank and drank. He was so thirsty. Also, they feed 100% seed. They refuse to take him to the vet because "he's just a bird". Everytime I saw him, his face was pinkish and his feathers were disheveled (sp?). He looked very sickly. Well, I've told my friend several times about going to the vet. I tried to be nice about it because she's a very proud person and any advice given is usually taken as an insult. I told them that feeding seed is like your dog eating potato chips all the time. She's a dog breeder so I thought that was a good analogy. But, she said "they don't sell potato chips for dogs but they do sell seed for birds". UGGH! Well, we got into it the other day and I told her I thought she should find him a new home. I was sick of holding back and at this point, I was ready if the friendship ended. She BLEW up! I even talked to my vet about the bird. She suggestd I help her find a new home for him. She won't let him go. It's actually her young adult daughter's bird. She just had a baby so my friend has him back in her house. I thought it was the perfect time to ask if they were planning to rehome the bird. Wrong! I just don't understand why people don't want what's best for her animals. I even gave her this website and told her to ask you guys about seed, vet, water, etc. She said she would absolutely not waste her time here. I don't know what more I could do to help this bird. She and I are not friends anymore, she deleted me from facebook and I deleted her from my contacts. I guess I don't need friends who neglect animals. My only regrets are not telling her sooner and telling her some pretty "sensitive" stuff about myself. We work for the same school district, different schools. We're both sign language interpreters and there are only about 20 of us in the district. We don't work together but we do go to the same meetings and stuff. I'm so mad about the bird. I wish I never showed them AnnaBella, then they wouldn't have theirs...or maybe they would. I don't know. Would you guys have done the same thing? I'm just curious if people think trying to save a bird is worth an 8 year "friendship". Some of the things she said, I wonder if we were ever really friends. It was worth it to me, even though I was unable to save him. I feel better having said something and losing a friend than not saying anything. That last sentence...hope it makes sense. Ha

[katana600]

I definitely think speaking up on behalf of the bird is the right thing to do. If nothing else, she may just start reading the forum to see what you might be saying and she may learn something more while she is here. And in response to her saying they don't sell potato chips for dogs, well there is such a thing as junk food for dogs. We used to feed our dog chicken jerky thinking it was a healthy snack. Then our vet told us it was the equivalent of feeding a four year old a full size snicker bar every time we gave her a strip. No wonder she was always begging for them! We learned something and we stopped giving it to her as a daily treat. I can't imagine grabbing a ten pound bag and giving it to her instead of her proper dog food. My guess is she already realizes she is in over her head with this bird or she wouldn't have reacted so strongly. Whether your suggestions took hold or made an immediate impact, I believe you have planted a seed. Others in your circle of mutual colleagues and friends are apt to notice a difference in AnnaBella's health and welfare and may gently encourage her to consider a better course of treatment or finding a new home when she is ready to admit it would be better for the parrot.

[HeatherStrella]

Thanks. AnnaBella is my bird. I didn't want to say her bird's name...I don't want to be accused of slander by her. Anyway, she's posting about it on facebook. I have a friend telling me things she's posting. Someone she must have told the story to, offered to bring some bottled water for the bird...joking. Then someone else joked that they'd bring her dogs some potato chips. When I told her (a long time ago) I gave AnnaBella filtered water from my sink, she thought I was nuts. So, this is all a big joke to her. I just hate to think how that bird is cared for. I hope my actions don't make her treat him worse. Thanks for your reply.

[DawL]

Thanks. AnnaBella is my bird. I didn't want to say her bird's name...I don't want to be accused of slander by her. Anyway, she's posting about it on facebook. I have a friend telling me things she's posting. Someone she must have told the story to, offered to bring some bottled water for the bird...joking. Then someone else joked that they'd bring her dogs some potato chips. When I told her (a long time ago) I gave AnnaBella filtered water from my sink, she thought I was nuts. So, this is all a big joke to her. I just hate to think how that bird is cared for. I hope my actions don't make her treat him worse. Thanks for your reply.

 

Geez, I swear I got more and more angry as I read through that post! You absolutely did the right thing, and you should be proud of yourself! This kind of ignorance just p****s me off! I am sure this woman has the internet since she has facebook, but it is a waste of her time to find out how to properly care for another living being?! That is just absurd. I could seriously go on about this forever, but I wont because I will more than likely say something to get myself in trouble, but I hope so much that this woman learns how to swallow her pride, and does what is best for the bird that she decided to take responsibility for! People like this shouldn't have animals at all, no matter what kind. Anyhow, you should be PROUD of yourself. You did what was right for a living being that has no means of speaking up for itself. You were that Grey's voice, and I hope she gives up and finds him another home.

[Greywings]

Some times blunt does not work, it can make the person involved more steadfast in their ways instead of producing the desired results. Trying to lead them in the right direction is easier said than done but is more possible if you remained friends. A gentle nudge to some helpful websites maybe ones involved with training like Barbara Heidenreich's and perhaps one involving parrot health symptoms could make a difference. I would find a way to explain how frustrated the experience is for you trying to help this Grey without casting blame. Work on a reasonable helpful approach to save this bird if it means so much to you to see it live well. She must have some idea of healthy diet having dogs that she shows. Not the what is wrong approach but the what is more right. This blog and many other resources are available to help if she can be just shown the right direction. If you want her to come here you can ask Talon to close or hide this thread, maybe.

Edited December 30, 2011 by Greywings
spelling

[Jimmydreams]

I think under the circumstances, you did everything right. You tried being subtle, but this woman sounds stubborn and immature. There's not much you can do with a combination like that except hope and pray the person grows up one day.

 

One would HOPE a dog breeder would understand the need to take specific care of your animals dependent on their specific needs. My guess is that her dogs are treated like animals rather than members of her family.

 

You saw a wrong and tried to right it. What more cold anyone ask? She probably surrounds herself with like-minded people, so breaking through would be a Herculean task.

[Luvparrots]

It is hard to see a grey, or any bird, mistreated. And sometimes you just have to be subtle about your help. If you can, I would go see this friend and try to make up. Perhaps bring some foods and treats that AnnaBella likes as a friendly offering. Subtly change the water with a "looks like >>>>> needs fresh water" and while chatting change the water. When I gave my ekkie to the young man next door, when I see him or his mom, I give them foods I have too much of that I know Sully would like or need, toys my parrots just aren't interested in. Mention eclectus websites that they might be interested in to learn more about ekkies. Little subtle hints to help them with Sully's health. (They are great parronts to Sully and he loves they dearly).

 

I do hope you can find a way to help this little grey.

[thenabrd]

if you think it's bad enough, could you report them anonymously to a local animal/bird agency to investigate? just a thought.

[HeatherStrella]

I thought about reporting her. But, I don't think it's "bad enough". I reported a pet store one time for their treatment of birds. This store was worse than this woman. The authorities went to the shop and checked on everything. The store came up with some excuses as to why they were in dirty cages, had dirty water, and some were covered all day. The authority told them to fix it and he came back about week later. It was better on his second visit so it did work. I don't think the authorities really know how to take proper care of birds. The store was feeding seed only and the authority said all the birds had food.

 

I'm not going to contact this woman ever again. She thinks researching a bird's care is a waste of time. Taking care of a bird just requires common sense. That's what she thinks. Unfortunately, she doesn't have common sense and she's wrong. I learned so much from websites before and after I got AnnaBella...it's not common sense. Some of this stuff we do for our birds is weird sounding when you first read it. No candles?? Sounds weird until you read why. She just doesn't get it. She's extremely narrow minded and not too swift. She actually does treat her dogs like family. Her dogs are very well treated. She spends a lot of time and money on them. That's why her treatment of the bird surprised me so much. She has a cat, though, I don't know why because she doesn't like cats. She actually put dog flea medicine on her cat and it had seizures. She took it to the vet and it was ok...she said she knew the box of flea med said not to do it, but she did it anyway. I know people make mistakes, I've certainly made lots. But, if I know something is better for my bird than another thing...I'm gonna do the better thing. I would think most people do. Another thing that happened with the bird was this: The cage they have is an old cage and it didn't come with its own food/water bowls. They use whatever they have so they don't fit right. The bird got his head stuck between the cage and one of the bowls and was stuck there for some time. She woke up in the morning and found him. She thought he was dead....but he was ok. His head was mashed for a couple of days...she didn't take him to the vet and she didn't get new bowls. I tried to tell her in a way that wasn't insulting but she doesn't get it unless you tell her straight out...I found that out the hard way. Anyway, they also had a 'tiel. She died shortly after they got the Grey. I told her that you never know what she died from and her Grey might have whatever was wrong with the 'tiel. She STILL didn't take him to the vet. She thinks it's a waste of money. She once told me that even if she had lots of money, she still would not take him to the vet because it's a waste and he is fine. There's no talking to her...she takes everything as an insult. These examples of her "care" are just what I know....I wonder what I don't know. Thanks for all the replies. She's never going to take this seriously, it's useless. I feel a little responsible because they got their bird because they liked mine. They had a sun conure and in order to have the money to buy the Grey, they sold the sunny. Makes me SICK!!!!

[Eshana]

I'm so sorry that your friend acted this way. Unfortunately, compassionate people like you and the others on this forum can't save every little animal. Hopefully something you said will stay with her, and since you aren't friends anymore, maybe she will swallow her pride and actually get him a high quality food!

 

By the way, I'm not an interpreter, but I know ASL fluently! I can't believe how much in common I have with people on these boards.

[Elvenking]

I posted about this a while back. I had a friend who got a Grey after seeing mine. First thing, they had his wings clipped...twice...the second time was so short, he looked deformed. I visited twice in a couple weeks and both times, the bird's water dish had a white ring with some slimy looking stuff in it. I gave the bird fresh water and he just drank and drank and drank. He was so thirsty. Also, they feed 100% seed. They refuse to take him to the vet because "he's just a bird". Everytime I saw him, his face was pinkish and his feathers were disheveled (sp?). He looked very sickly. Well, I've told my friend several times about going to the vet. I tried to be nice about it because she's a very proud person and any advice given is usually taken as an insult. I told them that feeding seed is like your dog eating potato chips all the time. She's a dog breeder so I thought that was a good analogy. But, she said "they don't sell potato chips for dogs but they do sell seed for birds". UGGH! Well, we got into it the other day and I told her I thought she should find him a new home. I was sick of holding back and at this point, I was ready if the friendship ended. She BLEW up! I even talked to my vet about the bird. She suggestd I help her find a new home for him. She won't let him go. It's actually her young adult daughter's bird. She just had a baby so my friend has him back in her house. I thought it was the perfect time to ask if they were planning to rehome the bird. Wrong! I just don't understand why people don't want what's best for her animals. I even gave her this website and told her to ask you guys about seed, vet, water, etc. She said she would absolutely not waste her time here. I don't know what more I could do to help this bird. She and I are not friends anymore, she deleted me from facebook and I deleted her from my contacts. I guess I don't need friends who neglect animals. My only regrets are not telling her sooner and telling her some pretty "sensitive" stuff about myself. We work for the same school district, different schools. We're both sign language interpreters and there are only about 20 of us in the district. We don't work together but we do go to the same meetings and stuff. I'm so mad about the bird. I wish I never showed them AnnaBella, then they wouldn't have theirs...or maybe they would. I don't know. Would you guys have done the same thing? I'm just curious if people think trying to save a bird is worth an 8 year "friendship". Some of the things she said, I wonder if we were ever really friends. It was worth it to me, even though I was unable to save him. I feel better having said something and losing a friend than not saying anything. That last sentence...hope it makes sense. Ha

 

Quite honestly, I would find a way to steal this bird. I would make it my personal mission to save that bird! Anything good in the world willing...I'd get away with it. If I lived closer to you...I'd be on my plan right now! I am dead serious. I do not and will not accept that kind of treatment. When there is a will...there is a way..and I would go to some serious lengths to do it. But that is me. (If it is as grim as I read it) It would take everything in me to not physically hurt the responsible parties as well. It blows my mind that this has been going on so long and absolutely nothing can be done. So at this point...I would take matters into my own hands...and hope for the best...but definitely save that bird. I mean seriously, you are describing abuse and there is nothing that can be done legally? This needs to change, in the meantime...if you know of any birds in the San Diego area that need saving....I will be there. Also, anyone who would not do everything they could to love and take care of the pet they have taken in, is no friend of mine...and is only borderline human.

 

Let her read this and tell her to thank her lucky stars it's you she is talking to right now. If I had the cash, I'd fly out now.

 

I am not saying this is the course you should take...lol...for sure.....but it frustrates me and that is how I feel. I am done seeing animals suffer at our hands.

Edited December 31, 2011 by Elvenking

[HeatherStrella]

DawL, that's awesome that you know ASL. How did you learn?

 

Elvenking, I've thought about stealing him, I really have. That was suggested to me before, when I posted about this. I told her when we last "spoke" that people suggested I kidnap him and she just laughed. She can't believe people actually care that much about birds. She sees them as "less than" a dog. I would seriously think about it if the consequences weren't so bad. At this point, she would know it was me. If I lost my job, because of an arrest, I wouldn't be able to take care of my bird. I wish there was a solution. I don't think the authorities will do anything...I'll think about calling them. I'll have to drive by her house to get her address. Yikes, I hope she doesn't see me. There's no telling what she would do. I'm actually afraid of what she'll do if I do call the authorities, but I don't think I have a choice. I really wish she wasn't so damn stubborn!

Edited December 31, 2011 by HeatherStrella
spelling..oops

[Elvenking]

Save any bird that might be in pain.....please....please try as much as you can. If I could only tell you to go take that bird when no one was home...i would.

 

I know I know...not quite practical...but...I just can't take it...I lose some tact.

Edited December 31, 2011 by Elvenking

[HeatherStrella]

One more example of who I'm dealing with. During this fight we had, she rear-ended someone. This whole fight was on text and she was reading one of my texts when she rear-ended a Lexus. I didn't know she was driving, I figured she was at home. She sent me a text that said "you made me rear-end a Lexus and I still have 3 more texts from you to read". I couln'd believe she blamed me for that!! I really hope she was honest and told the police or her insurance what she was doing when she got in the accident. Yeah right!

[HeatherStrella]

I was reading about reporting animal abuse...this is what part of it said:

After the investigation: If an animal has been abandoned or is being kept in an unsafe or unsatisfactory condition, a notice to impound the animal within two (2) business days is posted at the location by the officer. This two day period is required by law.

At the end of the two days the officer returns, and if the situation is not corrected, the animal is impounded.

 

So, if they find that the bird has no water, they give a warning and come back two days later. She'll make sure he has water on that second day and it will be dropped. They won't do anything about seed. I know that the bird looks sickly because I know what a healthy one looks like. He's not obviously sick...his face is pinkish and his feathers are tattered. He climbs all over his cage, bobs, weaves, etc...I don't know if I'm willing to do this if nothing is done. If he was obviously sick and obviously abused, I would. I would have a long time ago. It sounds like I think it's not bad enough...it is to me but I don't know that it would be to another person. Especially with how the store I turned in turned out. She has a lot of dirt on me...she works for the same company. As it is, her youngest daughter goes to the school where she works...the daughter went to my school for years and is friends with lots of students I know. I have a feeling all my past dirt is spilled out all over, but I don't know. I know I don't want it to be. If I do this, she'll for sure do it. I wouldn't lose my job but I would probably have to quit.

 

 

[DawL]

I thought about reporting her. But, I don't think it's "bad enough". I reported a pet store one time for their treatment of birds. This store was worse than this woman. The authorities went to the shop and checked on everything. The store came up with some excuses as to why they were in dirty cages, had dirty water, and some were covered all day. The authority told them to fix it and he came back about week later. It was better on his second visit so it did work. I don't think the authorities really know how to take proper care of birds. The store was feeding seed only and the authority said all the birds had food.

 

I'm not going to contact this woman ever again. She thinks researching a bird's care is a waste of time. Taking care of a bird just requires common sense. That's what she thinks. Unfortunately, she doesn't have common sense and she's wrong. I learned so much from websites before and after I got AnnaBella...it's not common sense. Some of this stuff we do for our birds is weird sounding when you first read it. No candles?? Sounds weird until you read why. She just doesn't get it. She's extremely narrow minded and not too swift. She actually does treat her dogs like family. Her dogs are very well treated. She spends a lot of time and money on them. That's why her treatment of the bird surprised me so much. She has a cat, though, I don't know why because she doesn't like cats. She actually put dog flea medicine on her cat and it had seizures. She took it to the vet and it was ok...she said she knew the box of flea med said not to do it, but she did it anyway. I know people make mistakes, I've certainly made lots. But, if I know something is better for my bird than another thing...I'm gonna do the better thing. I would think most people do. Another thing that happened with the bird was this: The cage they have is an old cage and it didn't come with its own food/water bowls. They use whatever they have so they don't fit right. The bird got his head stuck between the cage and one of the bowls and was stuck there for some time. She woke up in the morning and found him. She thought he was dead....but he was ok. His head was mashed for a couple of days...she didn't take him to the vet and she didn't get new bowls. I tried to tell her in a way that wasn't insulting but she doesn't get it unless you tell her straight out...I found that out the hard way. Anyway, they also had a 'tiel. She died shortly after they got the Grey. I told her that you never know what she died from and her Grey might have whatever was wrong with the 'tiel. She STILL didn't take him to the vet. She thinks it's a waste of money. She once told me that even if she had lots of money, she still would not take him to the vet because it's a waste and he is fine. There's no talking to her...she takes everything as an insult. These examples of her "care" are just what I know....I wonder what I don't know. Thanks for all the replies. She's never going to take this seriously, it's useless. I feel a little responsible because they got their bird because they liked mine. They had a sun conure and in order to have the money to buy the Grey, they sold the sunny. Makes me SICK!!!!

 

I know you feel guilty, but you shouldnt...this is no way your fault. I cant believe they sold their conure to get another bird! Well...at least the conure might be better off. She sounds like a person I REALLY would not get along with. She sounds stuck up, money hungry, rude, ignorant, and flat out ugly. She seems to represent a couple of the few things that I just cannot tolerate, which is animal cruelty and neglect, and possibly a back yard breeder. You didnt really elaborate on that, but even if she is nice to her dogs does not mean she makes great decisions with them either. She sounds like the type of person to breed dogs for the money, not to better the breed. I am sorry you had to go through all of this, and I am sure you are thinking about it a lot...just please dont beat yourself up. I know it is hard, but you seem like a really good person that loves and cares for animals...dont let her ignorance get you down... if you worry too much about the Grey, call and send an organization over there...if it isnt too bad i their eyes, at the the very least hopefully the visit to her home will open hers.

[Eshana]

Oh, I'm not DawL, haha! I learned ASL These past few years while getting my BS. I took ASL as an elective since I often do work with therapy dogs and fell in love with the language. In another life, I'd love to be an interpreter.

 

Also, Elvenking, like I said, you can't save everyone, but I found myself thinking "you know, I'd do the same".

 

Have you thought of going to the daughter about it, the one who originally owned the bird? She might have a bit more empathy for the situation.

[Elvenking]

One more example of who I'm dealing with. During this fight we had, she rear-ended someone. This whole fight was on text and she was reading one of my texts when she rear-ended a Lexus. I didn't know she was driving, I figured she was at home. She sent me a text that said "you made me rear-end a Lexus and I still have 3 more texts from you to read". I couln'd believe she blamed me for that!! I really hope she was honest and told the police or her insurance what she was doing when she got in the accident. Yeah right!

 

Wow...just wow. She blamed you because she was dumb enough to try to read texts while driving? LMAO! She is nuttier than squirrel shit!

Edited January 1, 2012 by Elvenking

[DawL]

Wow...just wow. She blamed you because she was dumb enough to try to read texts while driving? LMAO! She is nuttier than squirrel shit!

 

HAHAHAHA! I have to agree with that most definitely! Everything that I have read about this "woman" so far has put one word in my mind..."PSYCHO"!!

[HeatherStrella]

Some news...this woman's daughter is taking him back to her house on Wednesday. I know she's told her daughter all about our fight. I'm hoping the daughter has seen the light and will take care of him. Unfortunately, I don't know where she lives so I can't call anyone to check on the bird's welfare. I really hope this is good news. She has a new baby, maybe that has caused her to be more sympethetic to little beings needs. Thanks for all the advice, you guys really helped me keep things in perspective.

[Jimmydreams]

Some news...this woman's daughter is taking him back to her house on Wednesday. I know she's told her daughter all about our fight. I'm hoping the daughter has seen the light and will take care of him. Unfortunately, I don't know where she lives so I can't call anyone to check on the bird's welfare. I really hope this is good news. She has a new baby, maybe that has caused her to be more sympethetic to little beings needs. Thanks for all the advice, you guys really helped me keep things in perspective.

 

Given the scenario, this is probably the best (read: potential) outcome. I'm sure your concern is at least making the daughter second guess her treatment of the bird, and that can't be bad!!

 

[DawL]

I am hoping this is good news, I really am. If the daughter is going to get him, and bring him back with her, she must genuinely want him. I wish the best for this little guy, and I hope he has a full, and happy life!