New member, seeking advice for abused grey!

[Jillann]

Hello All,

 

I am new to this group. This is a kind of long post to give you some background on a bird from a rough situation; I appreciate your patience if you end up reading all the way through!

 

I'm fostering a CAG for a small animal rescue in Michigan. Molly is an unsexed bird somewhere between 15 and 25 years of age. She spent 10 years in a hoarding situation, in a pile of cages in a dark basement, with unreliable care and feeding. At some point someone mutilated her wings, cutting off the primary flights so they will not grow back, so she will never fly.

 

When she arrived in the rescue last year she would scream and throw herself on the floor of her cage when anyone entered the room. She spent a year in the foster care of a lovely young woman who kept her in the loft of a heated barn with a big window looking out on a rolling green farmland. Molly had a very quiet year there and got used to that one person, who came daily to care for her. Molly came to live with me two months ago, for more socialization and more frequent interaction than she could get in her barn situation.

 

She now clearly loves human presence with familiar or slow, gentle people, and likes being around me, but is still terrified of any rapid movement, and of human hands. She loves my dogs and is happy to have them stick their big heads in her cage to say hello. She talks up a storm and has probably learned 30 new sounds and phrases in the two months I've had her. She will take food from my hands now, but only if I offer it in the exact same spot and the exact same way; otherwise she'll thrash around and scream--like if I offer food from my left hand instead of my right, for example! When relaxed, she fluffs herself up when I sit next to her cage and talk to her or sing to her, and offer to pet her. But so far, she does not allow me to touch her. If I try, she gets very scared and backs away, twitches her head nervously, or screams. She will only stand in two spots in her large cage; she will not come out, even though the door is open whenever I am home. She will not play with any toys, and if I introduce an unfamiliar perch, she will scream and then refuse to go anywhere near it for weeks until I remove it.

 

Currently she lives in the dining room with a clear view to the kitchen and living room so is a part of the daily household life. I live alone but have a dog/petsitter come in a couple days a week while I'm at work, to walk the dogs and visit with (and play guitar to) the bird. So she meets other people but has a nice quiet structured routine, which she seems to like.

 

The birds in the hoarding situation were all in rough shape. It's uncertain what all Molly had to endure. I am wondering if anyone has any knowledge or advice about how to work with a bird that has had such a long period of restriction and neglect. She is in great health now but just so afraid of even moving around her cage, after all the years in a tiny cage with no light and no movement. I would love advice on any ways to get her to feel more safe and confident with human handling, and be able to move around more freely or play, etc.

 

Thanks for reading this long post, and thanks in advance for any feedback or advice!

 

Jill

[Luvparrots]

Hi Jill, sounds to me like you are already doing all the right things. It just takes time and patience and you seem to have an abundance so Kudos to you!!!!! I have an amazon that is a little wild and I have been working with him for over a year. He will not let me touch him but he is very smart and follows me throughout my home and will go in and out of his cage on my command, pretty easily as he so wants to please. Each circumstance is different and only you can see how Molly reacts from time to time and it sound like you can read her very well. So just follow your heart and do the things you feel are right and all will be fine. Molly is a very lucky little grey to have found you.

[birdhouse]

I think I just started this post a dozen times, in a dozen different ways. From your description of Molly, I kept seeing my Phenix, back in the dark days.

 

So, maybe best to start by saying that it has been 22 yrs & counting. Although he'll never be quite "right" you'd never know Phenix wasn't a normal grey unless you understood where he came from. A lot of time, love, patience, sensitivity & acceptance glued together the pieces of this wonderful fid who has incredible intelligence, a wicked sense of humor & above all is truly happy, albeit a little neurotic. That passes for a normal grey by any standards.

 

Oddly enough, his first healthy relationship was w/my large breed dogs, as well. I say "oddly" because I would have thought they'd be on the serious threat list. But they were incredibly helpful, as it turned out. Letting Phenix watch while we interacted, was like getting a stubborn child involved when he sees the other kids are having too much fun w/o him. No matter what experiences may have happened along the way they're hardwired to be social creatures. I think watching us reminded him of that. I also think seeing us love on each other, rough house (once he could tolerate the noise, etc.) & even get scolded helped him believe that normal interaction w/humans doesn't have to be scary.

 

I also found that he just couldn't handle too much stimulus, even if it wasn't threatening. To this day, his cage is in the corner of the living room. He only has to respond to things from two sides & it's just easier. There's a sofa in front as well. He's still actually part of everything, but I think in his mind it's a comforting barrier. He's not able to hide, just feel protected by creating "his space" like this.

 

And "his space" may be one of the most important things. All greys have control issues. But this is amplified so much when a grey's been abused. Once they've lost control & bad things happen I think they have a much harder time getting past the trauma than any other breed. They're too emotional to let go easily. They're also too intelligent to forget.

 

You've actually realized that feeding Molly from a different hand stresses her. Many people could never recognize something so subtle. That's a huge advantage toward building a much needed understanding & trust w/such a damaged fid. That one point alone gives me great confidence that you can & will work thru what I think of as the dark & twisty parts of a grey's psyche to give her back a balanced perspective on life.

 

Molly's life has been all about horrible, for a long time. 14 months of good living is actually a pretty small step in the right direction. But over time, those steps build on each other & get bigger because they're more convincing & Molly will become more confident. All you really need to do is give Molly back her confidence so she can learn to fly again, even if her wings never will.

 

You & Molly are very welcome to our flock Jillann. I hope you can find a lot of things on the forums that will help you gain useful insights. Please post any questions about anything, anytime. Stories about your progress, or rants if you'd like, are all very welcome as well.

Edited October 28, 2011 by birdhouse

[Jillann]

Thank you, birdhouse, and luvparrots! I really appreciate your responses. Birdhouse, how old was your Phenix when you got him, and what was his history? Was he handleable when you got him, and is he now? If you got him to be, how did you do it? I like what you say about your bird figuring out how things are safe by watching the other members of the family play and interact. I've read that greys learn by watching behaviors modeled for them. So my dogs and I sit in front of Molly's cage every evening and have treats and do alot of petting. Molly watches it all. She watches the cat climb in my lap while I work on my laptop next to her cage. She watches the parakeet play on my shoulder. She seems to be getting the idea that all is safe and happy. She fluffs up when I pet the dogs. But it's slow going! Tell me more about Phenix! ~Jill

[JeffNOK]

Jill, bless you for what you are doing. I don't think I'd be up for that challenge. The good news is that Molly has a safe loving home with positive experiences. I don't know what the furture holds, but I wish you all the best and believe you are a Godsend. Best wishes to you both.

[katana600]

Thanks for joining us Jillann, you have a great intro and make a powerful statement about the accumulation of life experience Molly has had and where she is today. Our Gilbert came to us from a less horrific but similar background of abandonment, neglect, a steady foster home then to our home. You are doing all the right things. For Molly to take things from your hand is a big step in her acceptance of you in her life. Every small step she takes toward you is cause for celebration. There will be times of progress, times of wary plateaus and some times of regression. You are already very observant and naturally suited to being slow and patient. I am so glad you joined us. Every situation is unique and individual so the experience you share will be as beneficial to the rest of us as we all work to understand the wonder that is an African Grey companion.

[Guest bailey3209]

i have also just adopted a CAG who was neglegted by his last owner but being a baby only 30wks old im hoping he will settle in fine enough..i think he is but he isstill scared of my hand yet he will accept fruit and nuts from my hand so there is progress there..but because of his previous neglect he is still very unsure of people but me being a young new owner(24) with lots of attention i hope he will be ok.if any one has any helpfull tips on how to build that trust i would love to know

[Talon]

Welcome to our family! Wow! You are a very patient and loving parront. I am very impressed and happy you have welcomed this grey into your life with no expectations. That takes a special person. I have very little experience with a neglected grey,but I enjoy following your experience and feel you are doing all the right things. I look forward to seeing pictures and hearing more!

[Gwen]

Welcome Jillann.. My heart aches for your poor Molly. I can't even imagine what she's been thru. I try to focus on the future & start new.

I acquired (rescued) a neglected grey after learning of his situation. It was worse than I thought!!! I couldn't wait to get him out of there. He had no food or water or toys. There was a rock hanging on a chain & his perch. He clung to the upper back corners for 24 hrs. after I got him home. If I went within 5 feet of his cage he would thrash about & scream nonstop. He clung on shaking for 2 days.

For the next week he tried to bite me thru the water & food doors. (something he was experienced at -- I could tell) Sitting, talking, singing softly in a chair outside the open cage door, one evening he came out & sat on the top of the door!!! Gradually, I started reaching into his cage to clean & talking to him.

Now..... This is finally where I get to tell you what I wanted for Molly. I put a bendy comfy perch up high & to the back. I then proceeded to hang "a wall" of toys in the front of his new perch rope. In less than a day he was up hiding behind his toys!!! He was like a cat in the tall grass... He felt secure, hidden, up high !!! It was so darn cute to sit on the couch across the room & see one little eyeball peeking thru !! Over the next few months he learned to play with toys & still goes up to his secret hideaway to nap & at bedtime. It has worked so well that I made a hidey place for my cockatiel, & she loves it too. I'm wondering if Molly would also benefit????? Let me know....

[Tias]

Welcome to the forum! We look forward to hearing of your little Molly and your progress...It does take a special person to take on such a task....BUT well worth it in the end!!!!