bivsw Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Hi guys and gals So my roommate and I just got African Grey girl 3 years old yesterday. She's absolutely amazing, cute and pretty However I have a lot of concerns ... I've never owned a parrot before and what I've learned reading up on the internet, they are extremely intelligent ... Some Discovery videos I've seen even claim that they are as smart as 3 year old child !!! She's very shy and what I can only describe as terrified ... Previous owners said she was VERY stressed out (I don't know by what) ... so bad that she started to bite her own nails and legs. We let her alone to give her time to adjust to the new place and people, she was shaking like a leaf when we brought her and just as much after spending a night in the same room with me. I thought she was cold in the morning (it wasn't the hottest morning in Los Angeles today), but by afternoon the weather outside got hotter than hell ... She was still shaking She eats very well, more than I do from what I know She started on her food before I even woke up and we gave her a lot of fruits and vegetables that she was gladly eating during the day. I'm afraid that she doesn't trust us, she was biting every hand approaching her when we brought her last night, today she went a little easier on me, she let me pat her head and scratch her peacock. She loves music, every time any music starts on TV she starts to sing or copy whatever she can hear, but any time I talk to her or approach her and ask to say something, she stay very still and looks at me like I'm "enemy number one" I'm sorry for a wall of text I guess I just want to ask you guys for advice on how to win her trust, so she wouldn't be afraid of me or my roommate. Also, my roommate always tries to make her get on his hand, so he can carry her around or to the couch ... and every time she tried to bit him, he hits her on the nose/head ... I can't even look when he does that ... I think it's TOO cruel but he says it's how you train a parrot not to bite (he have had a parrot before ...) I would appreciate any advice or personal experience Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CLB Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 You have come to the right place! I am a new Grey owner too and everyone here is great. Be patient and I am sure someone will give you more advice very soon. In the meantime, do not let your roommate hit her like that. She is scared and needs time to settle in. The one thing I have learned very quickly is that patience really is a virtue and will be repaid in volumes. But you have to give them time. Best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bivsw Posted October 20, 2011 Author Share Posted October 20, 2011 You have come to the right place! I am a new Grey owner too and everyone here is great. Be patient and I am sure someone will give you more advice very soon. In the meantime, do not let your roommate hit her like that. She is scared and needs time to settle in. The one thing I have learned very quickly is that patience really is a virtue and will be repaid in volumes. But you have to give them time. Best of luck. I won't let him hit her He doesn't mean ANY harm to her by any stretch. I just asked, 'cause I wouldn't even think of hitting her back for biting ... I'm not sure if it's the correct technique to a train parrot not to bite. She's getting pretty comfortable already, sitting on the couch next to me eating jalapeno pepper and drinking milk I think she likes spicy food, she ate the whole Pringles chip with jalapeno pepper taste last night But when she tried the real pepper, she shook her head in disagreement and dunk her peacock into a cup of milk before we brought it to her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CLB Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 ... and every time she tried to bit him, he hits her on the nose/head ... I can't even look when he does that ... I think it's TOO cruel but he says it's how you train a parrot not to bite (he have had a parrot before ...) I would appreciate any advice or personal experience Thanks. I don't think this is a good idea because Greys are very sensitive. Your intuition is correct. There is so much great information on this forum. It does sound like she is coming around. I hope you enjoy her as much as we are enjoying ours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
birdhouse Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 (edited) Your roommate may have had parrots before, but that doesn't make him a good parront. ** N E V E R** H I T** A** B I R D .** N E V E R .** Sorry, but there is no gray area here & I can't stress that enough! They are much too fragile emotionally & physically & they have absolutely no tolerance for it. Your fid has literally had it's whole life turned inside out. She'll always need to be allowed to tell you what she can & can't handle. But this is one of the most important times for her to know that she has some control over things so that she can feel safe enough to start interacting w/the new household. Biting is her only defense at this point because no one is listening when she tells them she needs them to stop what they're doing. It's not at all surprising that she's scared & shaking so soon after having been moved. But she shouldn't be constantly trembling. That means she can't handle how much she's being stressed & it needs to stop in order to gain her trust so she can start to want to become part of the new flock. She already has a history of being shy, easily terrified & self mutilating. How would you approach a 3 year old child w/that description? Because, yes they are at least that intelligent in many ways. Please give your new grey a chance to acclimate to everything. Spend time talking, singing, reading to her & being around her doing quiet things like being on the computer, reading or watching TV. Feed her treats often & interact w/her most often without actually handling her for a while. Talk to her in a quiet & reassuring way especially when her body language says she's afraid. Always walk away before she starts to stress out. "A while" may mean days or even weeks since this has started out to be so difficult for her. Your roommate's introduction will have set her back quite a bit & won't be forgotten, ever. But it is a very good sign that she's eating & vocalizing. Hopefully she will stop shaking constantly. Eventually, she should be willing to come out of her cage on her own & start to explore her new home. That's when she'll have settled in enough to start to gain her trust & maybe start to handle her a little more often. Working with, not training, a grey takes time. They are not like other parrots. They are very emotional & incredibly intelligent. That can be a wonderful combination until things go sideways. This forum can really help you understand what things make the difference & how to build a healthy relationship with your new bird. Please read thru these links in particular & as many others as you can. And please don't hesitate to post any questions or stories, no matter how long. http://www.greyforums.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=220&catid=5&Itemid=4 http://www.greyforums.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=26&catid=5&Itemid=4 http://www.greyforums.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=213&catid=5&Itemid=4 Edited October 20, 2011 by birdhouse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eshana Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Congratulations on your new Grey! I'm still in the process of saving money for my future one. You are certainly right about their intelligence, which is why hitting isn't really a good idea. Could you imagine hitting a three year old child every time they didn't behave? I personally don't think it's good for development. Are you and your roommate equally sharing the grey? What about when one of you moves out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greywings Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 (edited) I have to reinforce the instructions to- NEVER ALLOW A BIRD TO BE HIT EVER! Please slow down and let her get used to sharing your home before expecting her to step up willingly onto the hand of what are to her strangers who have not yet gained her trust. Hitting her will make her more fearful, more nervous and never learn to trust. Greys are intelligent and have surprisingly long memories. You are doing a good job with the veggies and fruits but the milk and salty snack foods are not good. Greys as many other Parrots are prone to fatty liver disease and enlarged hearts so keep the foods as healthy as you can no salt sugar or fried foods, ( & possibly a new roommate). Now after the lecture I want to welcome you to the forum and hope we can guide you towards a happy healthy relationship with your new Grey friend. You will find lots of information if you read through the site and room to share your photos as well. Again Welcome! Edited October 20, 2011 by Greywings spelling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistyparrot Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Well done on taking in an older Grey. It does sound like it has had a bad experience and it will take time love and lots of patience to bring back its trust in humans. As others have said, even what you think may be mild chastisement like beak tapping will be counter productive. Avoid doing things that you know will cause a biting reaction. Learn to read the signs. It takes time to get your birds confidence and with some birds may have less trust in one human gender compared to another. If you do get a nip try not to react with sudden movements. Most times its is simply letting you know you are being invasive. Be respectful if you want to earn respect. Don't give your Grey milk because parrots cannot digest lactose. Soya milk or lactose free milk is fine. Never give coffee or alcohol or avocados or chocolate. In the morning my Misty loves hot water with calcium and vitamin D3 in solution this is good for skin and feather condition. There is lots on the net about diets for Greys. Much of what you find healthy for yourself is fine for your bird but avoid salt and fatty foods. Make sure it has a variety of climbing perches and never never clip its wings. Talk you your bird and sing to it as well. Listen out for its own contact whistle. If you repeat it back to your parrot it will help with the bonding process. Lots and lots of luck, Steve n Misty Parrot Steve n Misty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bivsw Posted October 20, 2011 Author Share Posted October 20, 2011 I think she's warming up to me. I put her on the couch last night, while my roomie and I were watching TV ... She stayed in the corner for a while and than climbed up on my lap and pretty much demanded to pet her I spent close to an hour in a half petting her and massaging her neck (she like the massage SOOO much) ... I was thinking that at some point she would get tired of being pet, I know my cat, that I had when I was a child, didn't like to be pet for more than 5-10 minutes, but she just wanted more and more She still can't get used to my roomie though ... She bites him every time he tried to pet her. I told him not to hit her again, even lightly and I hope she will forgive him for previous misunderstanding Well done on taking in an older Grey. It does sound like it has had a bad experience and it will take time love and lots of patience to bring back its trust in humans. Steve, I'm not sure what you mean by older Grey, she only about 3 years old ... considering that the live 30-40 years, I'm not sure I can say she's THAT old Thank you guys for all the advises Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bivsw Posted October 20, 2011 Author Share Posted October 20, 2011 Congratulations on your new Grey! I'm still in the process of saving money for my future one. You are certainly right about their intelligence, which is why hitting isn't really a good idea. Could you imagine hitting a three year old child every time they didn't behave? I personally don't think it's good for development. Are you and your roommate equally sharing the grey? What about when one of you moves out? Thanks, it was almost like an impulse buy for us. I always wanted to get a pet, but every time something didn't work out. When my roomie moved in, he said he used to have African Grey ... told me how smart they are and how much fun to have around. So went to a pet store to check them out ... They told us the price is $1300.00 + tax + cage + other stuff she needs, on top of that a 2 week waiting period ... So we came back home, went on Craigslist and found that little beauty for $700 with everything included: Huge cage, lots of toys, food etc. etc ... $1300 is not a lot of money, but HALF of the price of private owner was a lot better So we just went and brought her home I donno about ownership really ... we are pretty good friends with my roomie, I never thought that far in future ... I guess whoever she likes the most at the time when we part ways will get to keep her. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistyparrot Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Steve, I'm not sure what you mean by older Grey, she only about 3 years old ... considering that the live 30-40 years, I'm not sure I can say she's THAT old Thank you guys for all the advises No your little lady is not old at all but many people get their birds from a breeder or pet shop when they are barely weened at a few weeks. Far to many people take on a baby without a clue of what a commitment it is and how to bring it into a family and then end up with a sad little parrot that they have to give up.Unfortunately there are also some who had the best of intentions but circumstances force them to re home their bird. People like you help to keep those birds from a poor home or rescue center. My Misty came to me at two years from a caring elderly owner who could no longer devote the time and attention a lively Grey demands. Steve n Misty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eshana Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Yes, I think it's awesome that you adopted instead of getting a baby. Not that I'm not going to totally get a baby as soon as I can... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffNOK Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 I'm so glad you are here. I joined the forum last January and will be getting my grey in two months. I have learned so much here. I would have been lost if it hadn't been for all the great info you find on this forum. It's a wonderful sign that your new grey will sit on your lap and accept pets. Sounds like you are bonding well. I wish you all the best! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reggieroo Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 (edited) You have joined the right place my friend. There is no where else on the net that can help you with grey ownership like grey forums. You can read books, watch vids etc but a forum with lots of experienced owners is the best place to be for help & the most up to date. keep coming back with any questions & keep us updated on your progress with your new grey friend. Good luck! Edited October 22, 2011 by reggieroo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvparrots Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 bivsw, we would love to see some pictures of your new grey. Pretty please!!!!! What have you named your sweet grey? I find that my greys are very sensitive to my feelings. They know when I am happy and when I am agitated. Your calm and loving attitude will go far with your new friend. Welcome to the Grey family! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bivsw Posted October 21, 2011 Author Share Posted October 21, 2011 (edited) bivsw, we would love to see some pictures of your new grey. Pretty please!!!!! What have you named your sweet grey? I find that my greys are very sensitive to my feelings. They know when I am happy and when I am agitated. Your calm and loving attitude will go far with your new friend. Welcome to the Grey family! I will try to post some pics in the next few days I honestly don't know what to call her I've been trying to come up with a good name for her ever since she moved in with us ... Previous owners never had a name for her, they just called her "bird" ... She's very smart and talks a lot, but she never calls herself "bird" or even respond to that name. When I bring some water into the cage or poor myself a glass of Coke, she says "Water?" She's literally like a chatter box especially in the morning, when I wake up and turn on a TV She's just talking nonstop ... Most of what she says is just kissing noise that I do when I talk to her and some Spanish ... But I don't speak Spanish, so I have no idea what she's saying She likes music, every time there's a music on TV or in some movie, she starts to talk and dance on her cage Oh and she doesn't like to be in the cage ... When I put her inside to sleep at night or when she's alone in the house, she just sits there quietly ... but the second I open the cage she either climbs out of it herself or lets me take her out. She loves water Especially taking baths, I put wide container of fresh water on top of the cage, she dips her head in it and sprays her flapping wings ... I came up, dip my hand in the water and sprayed it on her She was so happy, flapping her wings .. until she got all wet and didn't wanna bath anymore I try to teach her how to say something simple like "pretty girl" ... or my name ... but she doesn't seem to respond, she's only talking when she wants to (like right now as I type this message) ... and says something jibberish. I need to read up a little more on how to teach greys to talk. Also, I don't know what to make of it ... She always scratches her peacock ... I'm worried that she might need some vitamins or something else ... She used to bite her legs up to the point that she'd hurt herself ... Previous owners said she did it 'cause of stress ... I try not to let her do it anymore, I give her a fruit or something to bite on and tell her not to bite her legs ... She seems to understand. Thanks. Edited October 21, 2011 by bivsw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bivsw Posted October 21, 2011 Author Share Posted October 21, 2011 (edited) Yes, I think it's awesome that you adopted instead of getting a baby. Not that I'm not going to totally get a baby as soon as I can... I gotta be honest I have no idea what's the difference between a baby grey or 3 year old I'm clueless when it comes to intelligent birds My friend and my roommate had African Greys before, so it was their idea to get one. She has been with us for only a few days, but I can honestly tell, that I'm already in love with her I just wish I could understand her better ... what she says, what she wants, her body language ... etc ... She's my little baby girl I don't know what she's been through her first 3 years of life, but I know she's gonna be the happiest baby girl as long as I'm alive Edited October 21, 2011 by bivsw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bivsw Posted October 22, 2011 Author Share Posted October 22, 2011 I also have a question ... about the way I try to teach her not to bite ... Every time I extend my hand towards her she wants to bite my finger, most of the times very gently (or just lets me massage her neck). Sometimes, I guess when I'm being to persistent, she'd bite my finger a little bit harder ... not TOO much, but I can definitely feel the pain ... When she does that, I always pull off and pretend like I'm in A LOT of pain in front of her ... and then I usually just leave her alone and tell her that I'm not going to play with her if she's going to bite me ... I'm not an expert, but I want to ask you guys ... If I always leave her alone (with some upset words about her behavior) going to lead her to think that if she bites me hard, she's going to get it her way, or if she's actually going to recognize that I'm in pain after the bite and won't do it in future? Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bivsw Posted October 22, 2011 Author Share Posted October 22, 2011 She's also seems to be very reactive to Asian languages ... I study Aikido and every time I watch a video on youtube when some Japanese master speaks in his native lang. (with subtitles for me:) she just jumps on every word and tried to repeat everything she can hear I can't understand anything, obviously, so I ask her to translate for me It's just a little weird, when I speak to her on my native lang. (Russian) she doesn't seem to want to say anything ... but the second she hears Japanese or an Asian lang. she's babbling like she's been speaking it all her life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bivsw Posted October 22, 2011 Author Share Posted October 22, 2011 I keep playing her the old good and she seems to pick it up, needless the say that she LOVES it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reggieroo Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 I honestly don't know what to call her I've been trying to come up with a good name for her ever since she moved in with us I have the same problem with my new grey, she came to me the other day & think she's a girl but can't decide a name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eshana Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 From what I've learned about parrot bites, I usually don't pull away. The bird will bite me, and I will complain about it without actually pulling my hand away (as much as that hurts, ack!) Russian is your native language? My boyfriend is Russian, so his dog Kappa only answers to Russian. That's how I've been building my vocabulary! Previet Kappa! Ahh-dee-suuu-dahh Kappa! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianlinkles Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 You keep referring to her "peacock" Maybe I'm dense but what is that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bivsw Posted October 23, 2011 Author Share Posted October 23, 2011 her nose I can't remember what's it called in English to save my life and only after I realized that Peacock is the name of the big bird Sorry about that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bivsw Posted October 23, 2011 Author Share Posted October 23, 2011 From what I've learned about parrot bites, I usually don't pull away. The bird will bite me, and I will complain about it without actually pulling my hand away (as much as that hurts, ack!) Russian is your native language? My boyfriend is Russian, so his dog Kappa only answers to Russian. That's how I've been building my vocabulary! Previet Kappa! Ahh-dee-suuu-dahh Kappa! Yea, my native lang. is Russian I keep talking to her in Russian, but she doesn't seem to understand anything I hope she will one day. I've been living in the U.S. for over 8 years now and it's actually easier for me to talk and speak English at this point, but I can't say a word of English when it comes to her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now