Adopted an African Grey but having problems, any advice?

[Scottish_Gaz]

Hi, im new to owning any kind of bird. Ive always wanted an african grey and after having a talk with my wife, we decided to adopt and african grey. I dont have any experience but plenty of time and love to give into making a bond with him. He was born 1st march 2010 so he is over 1 years old. I travelled 70 miles to collect him yesterday then the same back. No distance bothered me as it was for a good cause. He was owned by a couple and there 4 kids. I was told he is friendly and tamed, and was told he was needing rehomed due to not being able to give him the attention he needed or deserved. We got him home yesterday, got his cage all set up and we let him be nosey for a while before putting him back into his cage. Now im already worried for him which ill come on to in a minute. First thing is he will not come to me what so ever, when ever i approach him, he tilts his head and all his feathers fluff up like i come across as a threat to him. He isn't so keen on my wife either but he doesnt get so affended from her. He comes to my wife when he wants to and its been her thats got him back into his cage yesterday and today. I understand this as he seems to like my wifes voice and i beleive his previous owner was a female who he was closer to. Now i am going to be the main parent of him but will his opinion of me change? I have tried to feed him but he will not take nothing from me, and if i move close to him, he gets scared and quickly moves away.

 

I know its only been 1 day and i know im going to need to earn his trust. All i want is some information on how its best to earn his trust and what steps im best taking to show him i only want to love him.

 

The other thing is under his right wing on the end, it looks like he has been biting his wing previously to me getting him, or a feather has come out, or something but he keeps putting his head under and using his beak to nipple under his wing. On that subject im going to take him to the vet anyways as i want him to be fully looked over to make sure he is healthy.

 

But any advice on how i can become close to him?

 

Thanks

[Cupid]

Im so glad you got your new bird. I traveled far away also for my grey so I know what you mean. . . I guess the best way is to just give him his space and alot of time. Your lucky he didnt try to bite your finger off the first day. Read as much as you can from this forum and you will find all the answers you seek, and make new friends that know exactly how you feel when you talk about your bird. I congratulate you on being owned by a grey and hope that you have many blessed years together. Now, if you can please get us some pictures, that would be "greyt" .

[Barbara2]

Even though I have a baby, I have been giving him quite a bit of "in cage" time for now. He needs to get used to a whole new environment and feel safe there. (I have had my grey for a week and a half.) Since you have one who is a bit older, he has to get used to the new environment plus get used to new people and wondering where his "other people" are. It's good that he is accepting of your wife so that he can be handled.

 

For your part, sit on the floor close to the cage and read a book or whatever and read it out loud in a calm voice. Talk to your guy with reassuraces. It might seem silly but explain things that you are doing, tell him how happy you are to have him in your life, etc. If you find a treat that he likes, offer it to him through the bars. Some have found success with almonds, some with pistaccios. Anyway, best of luck to you and the 3 most important points to remember are patience, patience, patience.

[Scottish_Gaz]

Im so glad you got your new bird. I traveled far away also for my grey so I know what you mean. . . I guess the best way is to just give him his space and alot of time. Your lucky he didnt try to bite your finger off the first day. Read as much as you can from this forum and you will find all the answers you seek, and make new friends that know exactly how you feel when you talk about your bird. I congratulate you on being owned by a grey and hope that you have many blessed years together. Now, if you can please get us some pictures, that would be "greyt" .

 

well i dont think i have given him much of a chance yet. Ill be honest at times i feel intimidated by him which i know i shouldnt let happen as i need to dominate him? Today he come onto my lap, that was only because he was wanting to play with my watch but as soon as i moved, he would flinch. Ive tried to feed him many of times and i talk to him lots and whistle to him as he can say quite a few words and phrases as im trying to show him im aware he is there and get him used to me, i just hope he can learn to trust me and not keep this hate he has for me. ive added a few pictures of him.

[braveheartdogs]

well i dont think i have given him much of a chance yet. Ill be honest at times i feel intimidated by him which i know i shouldnt let happen as i need to dominate him? Today he come onto my lap, that was only because he was wanting to play with my watch but as soon as i moved, he would flinch. Ive tried to feed him many of times and i talk to him lots and whistle to him as he can say quite a few words and phrases as im trying to show him im aware he is there and get him used to me, i just hope he can learn to trust me and not keep this hate he has for me. ive added a few pictures of him.

 

I am new to the forum and I don't even have a grey yet, but I do have several other birds, most of them were adopted as adults. You don't need to try and dominate him, it is more about letting a relationship between you develop based on mutual trust and respect. Allow him to take his time and choose to interact with you. I believe really strongly that good relationships, with non human and human animals is about mutual respect, trust, understanding and communication. It sounds like he is doing well and feeling trusting, so just go with him. Whenever I get a new bird I reinforce every behavior I like that they do with a treat. Every behavior I like gets reinforced and so those behaviors continue to happen. If he steps up, give him a treat. If he comes to you, give him a treat. Of course, eventually you can and will use other reinforcers (like scritches, attention, etc) but right now since you don't know each other well those may be more reinforcing to you than to him:) Just some food for thought! He is beautiful by the way!

[Cupid]

Im SURE that your going to be just fine. Hes a very handsome bird, and you'll see that hes going to open up to you sooner or later. Our greys are complex wild animals, remember that everything is new to him now, and hes surely missing his old family. The best part of this is that you found Greyforums, and you will learn exactly how to treat your new family member so that he can be a happy bird.

[Cupid]

I am new to the forum and I don't even have a grey yet, but I do have several other birds, most of them were adopted as adults. You don't need to try and dominate him, it is more about letting a relationship between you develop based on mutual trust and respect. Allow him to take his time and choose to interact with you. I believe really strongly that good relationships, with non human and human animals is about mutual respect, trust, understanding and communication. It sounds like he is doing well and feeling trusting, so just go with him. Whenever I get a new bird I reinforce every behavior I like that they do with a treat. Every behavior I like gets reinforced and so those behaviors continue to happen. If he steps up, give him a treat. If he comes to you, give him a treat. Of course, eventually you can and will use other reinforcers (like scritches, attention, etc) but right now since you don't know each other well those may be more reinforcing to you than to him:) Just some food for thought! He is beautiful by the way!

 

Exactly right.

[Scottish_Gaz]

great, i have patience and i plan on showing him all i offer is love, fun time out his cage and some nice treats and goodies. I suppose the more i bring him out the cage the more he will get used to me being apart of his routine

[danmcq]

Greys are VERY sensitive to change. This new grey is in a new home with strange furnishings, people, possibly pets etc. He feels lost, doesn't understand what happened to the flock he was a member of etc. Presently he is the prey and you are the predators for the most part.

 

The others have given great advice in regards patience and time. It will be weeks before he feels the least bit comfortable and accepts you as his new flock and home. If he was sweet on the female in the last family, this will probably hold true in your home as well. If this holds true, as long as you show respect and approach him on his terms, you'll be ok. Birds do not respond nor respect dominance. They are not like canines for example that have an alpha. IN a flock, all are equal and there is no ranking system what so ever. It is a communal living environment.

 

There are many here that are more than willing to answer all your questions and a ton of posts in the respective room topics. Reward, read and read some more. Greys are one of the most intelligent and sensitive birds on th planet. It takes a while to get to know and understand them.

[Luvparrots]

Hi Scottish Gaz, congratulationns on your re-homed grey. What is his name? My TAG I have had since she was 4 months old, she is now 3 years old. My CAG, is 6 months old and I have had him for 2 months. They both are cuddle muffins. Now I have a 3 year old BF Zon that I have had just one year. He was according to his female owner wild. I do know that he belonged to her husband who became ill and was placed outside. So my zon was a man's man. For the last year he has been gaining trust with me. He will not let me touch him or he will fly off. I have given that effort up long ago and just let him come to me. Which he does. Slowly he is learning to trust me. He follows me from room to room but I let him make the overtures. Once I figured out that my zon really didn't trust woman much and was really the ill husband's parrot, I tried to call them, but the phone number was no longer open. So if you can get information on your grey's previous owner please do it. It can make life and bonding just easier for you. My Louie and I are learning to trust each other he tries so hard to understand what I want from him and so I'm just patient and trying to make things simple so he and I can be great friends someday! Good luck with your sweet grey, be patient and follow his lead. When you want him out of his cage just open the door and let him come to you. Let him be the leader and you the follower. I know you won't regret it! Welcome to the Grey family!

[chezron]

Building trust is essential, but it takes time. Only your bird and his individual personality will dictate just how long. You must be patient because wrong moves can set the clock back. Try to follow his lead and do not force anything that will cause him discomfort. Keep everything positive and he will grow. If you do that, he will be more and more willing to allow you greater access. He just may be more of "woman's" bird, but that doesn't mean he is only a woman's bird. Our bird loves us both, although he prefers me. Patience and mutual respect has allowed my husband almost the same degree of affection from him.

[Scottish_Gaz]

some great advice. Im just trying to give him treats. Went shopping today and bought some fresh fruit, like berrys etc, also some baby tomatoes. He took a wotsit from me when i had a pack in my hand. so 1 day closer perhaps. We opened his cage last night so he could come out for a bit, he was straight and happy above his cage. But when it come to getting him back in, it was a nightmare, when either me or my wife went to him, he would just move away. We got him in eventually, only by bribbing him with some tea i made. I had to let him have a taste then move the bowl away so he would climb onto his cage door so i could shut it. That took us about an hour to do that. I just hope we dont have the same issue tonight.

 

Im not going to give up tho as its not his fault he has been re-homed as im sure he was quite happy with his previous owners. I understand he is feeling strange so i just hope in time he will easen up.

[JeffNOK]

I really feel for you Scottish Gaz. I know how excited you have been to get your grey and you are eager to bond with him. Patience isn't easy sometimes. I know it will be well worth it though. Forget everything you know about keeping other pets like cats or dogs. Greys are of another order altogether. I'm a newbie here myself and can say that in the last eight months I have learned a ton about what grey parronthood is about. I still feel what I know is just the tip of the iceberg. As far as your bird bonding more with females...eh...who knows? What will be will be--but whoever he/she bonds with--proper socialization will allow a good relationship with all the important people in the household. One year old is still young. The adventure is just beginning. Good Luck and keep us all posted. By the way, are you in Scotland?

Edited September 12, 2011 by JeffNOK

[Scottish_Gaz]

I really feel for you Scottish Gaz. I know how excited you have been to get your grey and you are eager to bond with him. Patience isn't easy sometimes. I know it will be well worth it though. Forget everything you know about keeping other pets like cats or dogs. Greys are of another order altogether. I'm a newbie here myself and can say that in the last eight months I have learned a ton about what grey parronthood is about. I still feel what I know is just the tip of the iceberg. As far as your bird bonding more with females...eh...who knows? What will be will be--but whoever he/she bonds with--proper socialization will allow a good relationship with all the important people in the household. One year old is still young. The adventure is just beginning. Good Luck and keep us all posted. By the way, are you in Scotland?

 

Great advice ther mate. Im from Glasgow in Scotland but im in the british army so im based down in wiltshire, south west england so im quite a bit away from home atm

[CarolC]

Dear Danmcq,

You sound like someone I need to spend hours with. Here’s my story. I live in one of those states suddenly ravaged by Hurricane Irene then one-week later tropical storm Lee without electric for 4 days. I am now suddenly an unexpected owner of a beautify African Grey, who somehow got lost from her owner and weathered hurricane force winds outside, for who knows how long. This beautiful bird literally walked into my life, somehow knowing I am an animal lover. We sincerely have tried to find the lost owner through local police and veterinarian hospitals, but no one has claimed her. (Though I would not turn her over to just anyone as she is banded, anyone trying to claim her would have to prove ownership by telling me what the band said). However, no one ever called.

After spending one week in a tiny canary cage in hopes to reunite bird and owner, I realized I would probably never find the owner. Thus, I now went on a quest for a large parrot cage. Again, it was destiny that my husband suggested Craig’s list, as we did not have the means to spend several hundred dollars on a cage. We found and purchased a very lovely parrot cage that stands well over five feet tall; the owner of the cage housed two cockatiels in it.

I found instructions on safely sanitizing it and did so. I then placed the two cages together until “Tweedy” with the help of a trail of peanuts walked into her new cage. I only know what I have read over the past week and find that owning “Tweedy” will be a learning opportunity for both of us.

Tweedy is comfortable eating from my hand. She steps up on my finger, and has voluntarily walked up my arm! I know she wants her head scratched as she bends her head down sideways, but does not allow me to do so. However, when I have an unshelled peanut she allows me to rub the back of her neck with it. I guess it will be a slower process than I realized.

Tweedy is very boisterous in song, whistling and cherdling. She mimics the beep of the microwave, and stove timer. She started meowing yesterday to our surprise! (we do not own a cat) She even laughs. Though she has not spoken a word that was not why we decided to give her a home and family. I image she is grieving the loss of her prior home and those who loved her. I hope we can fill that void.

Even though I refer to her as Tweedy, I am hesitant in giving her a name, I hope and pray each and every day she tells me her name someday. I ask her continuously what her name is.

Tweedy now joins Toby our Blk Lab, Rascal and Girlie Girlie our two ferrets and of course the gold fish in my water garden.

I look forward to learning as much as I can about her, and look to all of you at this forum for your expertise and guidance. Thank you

[chezron]

Carol C, Wow that is quite a story! Maybe you can post it as new post (just click on new post on the left) and more people will read it, and be able to help you.

[danmcq]

Dear Danmcq,

You sound like someone I need to spend hours with. Here’s my story. I live in one of those states suddenly ravaged by Hurricane Irene then one-week later tropical storm Lee without electric for 4 days. I am now suddenly an unexpected owner of a beautify African Grey, who somehow got lost from her owner and weathered hurricane force winds outside, for who knows how long. This beautiful bird literally walked into my life, somehow knowing I am an animal lover.

 

Hello Carol and welcome to the forum. I feel very sad for that Grey and the owners somewhere out there that have lost the love of their life. There is no doubt this grey is missing it's previous owners and home. I can hope hope and pray they are ok. There is no doubt he/she landed in the right place to be found by you and such a loving home for shelter, safety, food and companionship. It sounds like you are doing the right things in making him or her comfortable and are providing a place he/she feels safe in. Such drastic weather events unfortunately not only devastate the humans, but much loved pets as well thrown into a scary storm and a landscape that look like a war zone with all left in tatters.

 

There are many members here with plenty to share with you as well. Please post as often as you can and browse through the many areas we have on specific topics to assist you in gaining the critical knowledge to properly care for this new feather friend.