Our Grey Hates Me..Don't know how to train to protect family

[Samy]

Our son has a disability and refuses to talk. Nothing physical nor mentally wrong just refuses. We spend almost every weekend at the zoo as he adores animals (more then people most times). With him going on 13 we started years ago trying things non-conventional. Our first attempt was our husky Singer, now 7 yrs old, she was supposed to encourage our son to talk by him helping us train her. Instead he taught her sign language. She sits on command by mouth as well as sign and about half a dozen others. So recently a speech therapist suggested we get a parrot as they would encourage our son to speak and would not be swayed by the sign language. He suggested a Grey going on about intelligence and claimed to know a place to get one. That was our first crazy mistake. We went through everything read up did everything else and got things together. Got told there was the perfect bird for us got Ziggy were told she would be perfect for what our family needed. Right off the bat she was quiet and seemed docile my son sat next to the cage and said HI to her and she said hello. He was even able to give her an almond through the cage and she took it very nicely. We got home got her all set up near a window so she would have decent light and be able to have fresh air on the nice days.

Things went decent that first day we tried to give her space so I didn't take her out of the cage as I wanted to let her get used to us and the other animals in the house as we have 2 cats and 2 dogs. Also wanted the other animals to get used to her. Our older cat ignored her and wants nothing to do with her when she is out of her cage he goes into my room and goes to sleep and Singer just goes about her business unless she flys over her then she wants to chase which I see as normal as Singer is a husky. The younger cat wants to catch Ziggy but they are on equal ground as they are the same size and Ziggy has already nipped her tail so Boots knows better then to get too close. Our other dog is too old to chase but is kind of jealous as Ziggy has seemed to take to my husband.

Which now leads to where our problem has set in. Ziggy has "chosen" my husband so to speak she won't bite him will step up on his arm and coo's to him whines when he leaves the room and will cuddle with him when she is out. The problem is when anyone else tries to go over to the cage to even speak to her she attacks the cage and makes a clicking noise at them. Unless someone has food then she will take the food nicely put it in her foot and then attack. If she is sitting with my husband on his chair and anyone or any animal goes near the chair or even walks by the chair she will puff up and lunge. Just recently she was flying around, which she can only do when the kids are not in the living room which in terms means not home, and she didn't want to go back in her cage I made the mistake of walking into the room to close to my husband to give him something he had asked for and she landed on my head and bit me above my eyebrow came very close to taking out my eye. My husband is torn obviously the guy who sold us Ziggy was way less then honest and she has already attached herself to him and he adores her. He just doesn't know what to do with her to make her safe to stay in our home.

I have dealt with Loris, Parakeets, Conures, and Lovebirds all during my younger years as my Dad loved birds and although I know that Conures are much different in all my years I have never dealt with a bird with behavior and jealousy issues of this magnitude. Her cage is chock full of toys, we talk to her regularly but keep our distance. I feed her every morning, never showing fear. I monitor the kids with her but continue a daily routine of them communicating with her. I can't let her join us at meal time without her cage. I refuse to allow her to do to any of my children what she did to me. Does anyone have any ideas?

Also I can't get her to eat any veggies she won't touch them, she will only eat fruit if it is put through the blender and warm it alittle and even then only 2 or 3 baby spoons of it a day. Most mornings I can slip a baby spoon of blendered veggies and a baby spoon of fruit into a teaspoon of oatmeal and get her to eat a couple of spoonfuls. I'm very worried about her health as far as nourishment. She will eat nuts like they are going out of style but I won't let her have too many of those and I keep her food dish full of the zupreem food, water is changed 4 or 5 times a day as she loves throwing everything in it. Any extra advice is appreciated.

[danmcq]

Greys are different than other species of parrots in many ways. Most select one person as the "Favorite" and will become jealous and protective of that person as you have described. Getting a flighted bird of any type caged is difficult unless they are ready to go to their cage. The things you have described are very normal behavior for a grey. Unfortunately, parrots are not domesticated like dogs or cats and are still very wild in the sense of how they behave and interact with people.

 

I suspect, the person that you got this person from, was just being helpful and this grey it seems does indeed talk human. I assume the thought in recommending a grey, was perhaps you child would be encouraged to talk more if he thought perhaps the grey would learn some words and perhaps talk back. that may well happen, however a close and bonded type relationship does not need to exist for communication to take place.

 

Also, depending on the age of this grey, if it is 5 or older, it is very set in it's ways and you are just seeing the tip of the iceberg in terms of what her personality is really like. Right now she is just reacting and is not yet truly a member of the flock. It takes months for that to happen and for the real personality to come out in most cases.

 

If you feel that she is not a fit for your home, the sooner you return this grey so it can move on to it's final "Forever Home" the better. They live many decades and people need to understand that getting such a long lived creature is a life long commitment. I do however, hope that this works out for you all and that this grey can in some way help your son to become more forth coming in speaking.

[Samy]

I would assume that Ziggy is older according to everything she has the pale yellow eyes with the darker ring coming on the outer ends. I really don't know fit or not but returning her is not an option.

It would seem that communication would be a lot easier if the kids weren't afraid of her even when she is in her cage.

[Samy]

We defiantly understood the aging process of any and all of our animals and took great care and discussion before agreeing on undertaking any one of our animals. We have had all of ours for most of their lives. We also discussed and agreed together that once Ziggy was in our home we wouldn't be having any other additions as we read more then once adding could bring out additional jealous tenancies to an already jealous bird.

We don't want to re-home her. We are just trying to figure out a way to co-exist with her whether it be one way or another, without her life being limited to being stuck in a cage unless no one else is home or everyone else has to be confined to a different room for a few hours so she can get out of the cage. It would be perfect if she wouldn't attack everyone person and animal alike in the house just because they are in the same room as my husband. My kids and animals are all old enough to leave her alone when they are left alone. We all would love to equally give her attention, talk to her, play with her, interact with her in different ways but she won't have it. We aren't even allowed to clean her cage nor change her food and water without her attacking the bars of her cage. We don't want to upset her further so we leave it all on my husband.

Edited July 18, 2011 by Samy

[danmcq]

The kids do not need to be afraid when Ziggy is in the cage. Many greys are cage aggressive to all except their "Chosen One". Your children can talk and listen to Ziggy without trying to feed or give scratches etc. Perhaps just have them do this and Ziggy will feel less threatened by what is viewed as "Intruders" of her cage and pewrsonal space.

 

The yellow eyes do indicate Ziggy is fully mature and at least 5 years or older.

 

It's wonderful to hear that you all all in this need relationship with Ziggy for the long haul.

[Samy]

We defiantly want her. We just need the direction to go to making her more comfortable. She is to the stage where my daughters can give her almonds while she is in her cage. My 16 yr old and my 11 yr old especially she seems to allow to sit there after she has taken the almond and makes noises while she eats it. Every morning I open the cage door which of course she attacks as I do it but she will step out onto the cage door to eat her breakfast and then when she is done eating go back in the cage and attack the door as I put the lock back on it. She does a lot of whistling which my son mimics back to her and can do the nextel beep which everyone finds humorous since no one here has a nextel. She also mimics an Owl fairly well which makes everyone laugh of course she laughs too especially whenever we tell one of the dogs to go lay down, or to get away from the dinner table ( she really laughs at that one). It seems as long as we have food in hand she's happy so I would assume (of course we know the adage to that) she was possibly hand fed. That food had better be a nut though as I still can't get her to touch fruits and veggies.

[Luvparrots]

Hi Samy, I certainly can relate to your problem. Your hubby loves Ziggy and your family believes in commitment to their pets as they do their human family. I have a re-homed BF amazon who is 3 years old who will not let me touch him without trying to nip at me. He is also flighted and has never been clipped. I have had him for 10 months and he still does not totally trust me. I have a blood condition that requires that I am very careful about infections and cuts. So parrot bites are something I do not wish to encounter. I love Louie to death and I know he wants to be my friend; he is just afraid so we go at his pace. Louie is very active and very bold and very, very smart. Louie tries very hard to understand what I want him to do. With a little hit and miss we have worked out a workable way to get what we both want. To be friends and live harmoniously. Louie will now go back into his cage with a "nite, nite, Louie get into your cage". It took awhile with a lot of visual showing and lots of simple talking but now Louie and I know what each of us wants. So be patient, do lots of talking and going with your instincts to show Ziggy what you want. For now until Ziggy is more comfortable around your children, I would limit their interaction to him being in the cage and the children just talking to him from the side, without reaching into his cage. Hubby will have to get his own things for now and if Ziggy is out of his cage. I am assuming that your husband is verbally telling Ziggy "no" or that's not nice" when he is unkind to others. Our fids/greys are very smart you just have to show them and tell them so they can understand. Just like you have to learn to understand their body language. Believe me, they are so worth the patience.

[Morana]

Hello!

Just have few comments..

First,I am very glad to hear you're going to try to work everything out with Ziggy and that he has a forever home:-) I love his name-Ziggy! :-)

Also, just wanted to make sure you are aware that one scratch from your cat/s could be lethal to your bird. There are lot of information about this here on the forum and also about how it is important to be very serious and consistent about supervising when your grey and some other animal/s are out at the same time.

I'm no expert but after your Grey settles in a bit, IMHO, much can be done,regarding your issue, with training. At least this is my conclusion after reading other peoples experiences... The bird surely doesn't need to be condemned to a cage whenever you and the rest of your family are around (not thinking about hubby). There are threads about that too. I'm surely not the one to be giving tips how that is to be done, but I hope that someone else, with more experience, will:-) Till then do browse the forum. There are lot of very useful information. The one thing I know for sure is that you'll need to arm yourself with lot of patience.. Good luck and keep us posted:-)

Pictures?

[Samy]

We are super careful about the cats. Tiger wants nothing to do with the bird he is too old and quite frankly too fat and lazy, he sees the cage is open and waddles his big behind into my room and curls up on my bed and goes to sleep as the bird is not allowed in our bedroom, too many things for her to get hurt on in there. Boots is supervised whenever the cat is out although after Ziggy got a hold of her tail that one time she steers pretty clear of the bird. We know how dangerous the dogs can be and watch carefully and if they show any sign of wanting to chase they get a time out in our room but if Ziggy goes chasing them she takes her own time out in her cage. It seems to be working so far. My husband is very vocal about telling her no in a stern voice not too loud but making it very clear she is doing something wrong and also telling her what she is doing wrong and what she should not be doing i.e. We do NOT Bite, We do NOT growl, We do Not chase the dogs, and so on from there if there is an instance. We still will not let her out when everyone is home. We try it with only a few at a time as too many people when she is out seems to encourage her behaviors. We also each take turns during the day so not to crowd her but to acclimate her to each of us by talking to her at a distance she seems fairly comfortable with. We talk with her whistle give her an almond and then give her some down time so she is not overwhelmed.

[Samy]

I have added some pictures.

[Barbara2]

I have added some pictures.

 

She is beautiful. Those are great pictures!

[Morana]

Great pictures! She is really pretty! :-)

[ranaz]

great pix...ziggy is so pretty...

[Samy]

So our natural alarm clock (Ziggy) gets me up like clock work at around 6:15am every morning for her breakfast. No one else in the house seems bothered by the hello's or whistles or noises and stays asleep. Guess it's a mom thing. I fresh squeeze Ziggy some orange juice and make my coffee (trying to be nice and make friends does anyone know if this works?) giving her a small cup I found at the dollar store it looks like a mug with a handle with a tiki face on it. She seems to like it and drinks out of it but will still attack the cage when I open the door but lets me put the cup in her cage and drinks the juice and proceeds to bang the cup when she's done. I can't take the cup out my husband does that when he gets up as she will try to take my fingers off if I do. I think she spills more then she drinks from it but she seems to have fun with it in the mornings and it has become our routine. It keeps her from yelling while I let the dogs out and make the oatmeal. I feed her after letting the dogs in and then wake up my husband and get my son off to his summer school. By then she is out and making her sounds climbing around here and there near her cage she likes my bowl of rocks on my end table fortunately they are big enough she can't swallow them she picks them up and bangs them on the end table. She will stay out till around 9:45 when she goes back in so my husband can go to work and she likes to nap at that point and she sleeps usually until my son gets home from school around 3:00pm waking here and there making a few sounds playing with some toys and going back to sleep. I don't know if this is normal but it seems to be how things are going for now. When my husband gets home I work with our son with some of his therapies in his room while the girls do their thing and my husband takes her out and she sits on his chest while he does some work in his office/computer room or sits in his recliner watching tv and she seems content just laying on his chest letting him pet her she coos and makes owl noises (my best way to describe it sounds like whoooo) which last about an hour or two and then she will get on her cage after about an hour of that she seems to get cranky usually she gets snippy ends up back in her cage or goes back in her cage once in a while and goes to sleep. Again don't know if this is normal. It's quite humorous and cute as long as your not the one at the end of the beak and claws. Will try to get the time to add pictures of all the "flock" today and add them at some point. I appreciate all the information I have found and thank everyone who has already given me ideas and encouragement to continue to make things work here and make this home a better place for Ziggy and our family together.

[Morana]

Hm, I read all your updates Samy and this is the first time I got a distinct impression Ziggy sleeps a LOT. Too much is the question? Is it just me? What say the other members with more experience? I don't want to unnecessary alarm you, I just want to get some feed back.