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Bonding with my TAG


DinoUndies

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Hello. I introduced myself in the introduction forum. I'm thinking of getting a Timneh African Grey Parrot some time this summer. However, I have two questions, of which one main one.

 

Main Question #1 - There's one thing I'm RREEAALLLLYY scared for. You see, I live with multiple people, including a maid, and I'll be home for only about half the day, while the made and one of the girls are here all day and one of the guys gets home about an hour or two hours before me. He will be in the living room as to not get lonely, which only makes my bonding concern bigger. I guess that gives a hint of what my question is. So, the question: if I am the only to handle him, train him, clean his cage, rotate his toys and give him fresh water and food, will he bond with me, or is there still a big chance he'll decided to bond with the mate or the girl? I'm thinking of getting a girl, because, though I know it's false, people say guys bond better with girls and girls better with guys. Please, if you answer this question, I'll love you for life!! Also, are there any things I can do to make him bond with me even more?? In a few years I'll be living alone, or with only one or two people, but for now I'm pretty damn worried. Helpppp!!!!

 

Question #2 - I heard it's better to, after you purchase your african grey, immediately go to the vet. I think I'll do this, but... is there a big chance the breeder / pet shop will have gone already? And if so, should I trust him/her with the health papers or whatever? 'cause, though I'm thinking of going, I'm not sure if I will. If I don't go, can you please give me every single hint of an unhealthy baby (just weaned, probably, maybe a bit older), Timneh African Grey? So I can check him by myself a bit?

 

Thanks in advance!! =D

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*****So, the question: if I am the only to handle him, train him, clean his cage, rotate his toys and give him fresh water and food, will he bond with me, or is there still a big chance he'll decided to bond with the mate or the girl? *****

 

That's not an easy question to answer because all parrots are different. Put 2 Timnehs together in one room and the only similarity will be the color of the feathers. They're all individuals with individual personalities. That also applies to Congos. Most people who buy a grey hope that the bird will be happy with everyone in the house. Many times, that doesn't happen.

Basically, your bird is going into a large family setting and all should be involved with the feeding, cleaning, playing. Indivdual bonding with one person in a large family setting isn't a good idea. Basically, you're thinking about excluding the other people from interacting with the bird. The only time that should happen is when a particular person wants nothing to do with the bird. It's the person's choice, not the bird's choice.

 

*****people say guys bond better with girls and girls better with guys. Please, if you answer this question, I'll love you for life!! ******

 

Yes, that's a total falsehood. many times, a person has no idea what the sex of the bird they buy is until they have DNA test done. Some breeders sex them, others don't.

Males get along with males, females get along with females, males get along females, females get along with males.

PS----You needn't love me for life. I won't mind.

 

Yes, many people take a bird to a vet as soon as the bird is purchased. It's called a "well check". If there's a problem, the contracts of the sale concerning refunds and warranties goes into effect. Yes, many breeders have this done before a sale. Breeders aren't required to do this. Pet shops aren't required to do this. It's in the contract upon sale of the bird.

 

*****If I don't go, can you please give me every single hint of an unhealthy baby (just weaned, probably, maybe a bit older), Timneh African Grey? So I can check him by myself a bit?*****

 

There's no way to do this. Internal exams are done. Swabs are done. Only vets do these types of things. In order to get an accurate reading, the bird must be totally weaned for the vet tests. If you're thinking about getting an unweaned bird, DON'T. You're a novice and you're asking for big trouble

Edited by Dave007
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*****So, the question: if I am the only to handle him, train him, clean his cage, rotate his toys and give him fresh water and food, will he bond with me, or is there still a big chance he'll decided to bond with the mate or the girl? *****

 

That's not an easy question to answer because all parrots are different. Put 2 Timnehs together in one room and the only similarity will be the color of the feathers. They're all individuals with individual personalities. That also applies to Congos. Most people who buy a grey hope that the bird will be happy with everyone in the house. Many times, that doesn't happen.

Basically, your bird is going into a large family setting and all should be involved with the feeding, cleaning, playing. Indivdual bonding with one person in a large family setting isn't a good idea. Basically, you're thinking about excluding the other people from interacting with the bird. The only time that should happen is when a particular person wants nothing to do with the bird. It's the person's choice, not the bird's choice.

 

*****people say guys bond better with girls and girls better with guys. Please, if you answer this question, I'll love you for life!! ******

 

Yes, that's a total falsehood. many times, a person has no idea what the sex of the bird they buy is until they have DNA test done. Some breeders sex them, others don't.

Males get along with males, females get along with females, males get along females, females get along with males.

PS----You needn't love me for life. I won't mind.

 

Yes, many people take a bird to a vet as soon as the bird is purchased. It's called a "well check". If there's a problem, the contracts of the sale concerning refunds and warranties goes into effect. Yes, many breeders have this done before a sale. Breeders aren't required to do this. Pet shops aren't required to do this. It's in the contract upon sale of the bird.

 

*****If I don't go, can you please give me every single hint of an unhealthy baby (just weaned, probably, maybe a bit older), Timneh African Grey? So I can check him by myself a bit?*****

 

There's no way to do this. Internal exams are done. Swabs are done. Only vets do these types of things. In order to get an accurate reading, the bird must be totally weaned for the vet tests. If you're thinking about getting an unweaned bird, DON'T. You're a novice and you're asking for big trouble

 

I will definitely not get an unweaned TAG. I'm only a novice, as you said, and, sure, I've done my research, but that really gives me no right to think I'll do a good job with an unweaned TAG. I'm thinking of getting a just weaned TAG, maybe a bit older, but preferably no older than 8 months ^^ I still want him young :P Preferably between, like, just-weaned and six months. Somewhere between that x3

 

As with the bonding, thank you for your advice. The thing is, though, I'm not trying to be... selfish... or anything. I WILL be the only one, pretty much, that can give him all the care he needs. I live with four other people, and a maid, and for each there's a reason why I'd have to do it instead of him/her:

 

- One just pretty much does not want anything to do with the TAG and will not pay attention to it. She might at the most find it cute and sometimes she would want to hold it on her hand, but that's about how far it gets. Not to mention that, though she's three years older than me, I REALLY doubt she's responsible enough to keep a TAG. And she's out with her friends A LOT.

- One is only six. Reason enough ._.

- One is gone most of the day: from seven 'til about six, to be exact, and sometimes even 'til ten or somewhere in between six and ten if he goes eating with someone or whatever. Even on saturdays he sometimes works half of the day. Generally he, too, is relying on me to care for the TAG, though he's much more responsible than the girl. However, he's still gone most of the day and I don't think he wants or would even appreciate the weight of the responsibility of a TAG on his shoulders. He's already busy enough.

- One is ill - it's personal - and pretty much in no condition to care for the TAG. Though I don't want to say it, I have to admit she'll die in probably less than ten years. I don't want to see the sadness in the TAG's eyes when his bonded person is dead maybe even seventy years before he is. Also, the sickness only gets worse with time. She's, like I said, in no condition to care for a TAG.

 

That leaves the maid, who, though she's home most of the day, I also don't think is generally fitted for the TAG. Not to mention she might not be my maid in a few years, and making her/his bonded person leave, never seeing him/her again, I generally think the TAG will be really sad.

She's also out a lot and stuff, and when she's not working, always in her small little room, which is not connected to the house.

 

So... any advice? x3

 

Also, I'm thinking of the breeder or pet shop not telling me the sex if they know it, but just writing it up in a paper, so I won't base my getting a TAG by gender, but rather what feels right. Then later, home, I'll open up the paper and check which gender the TAG is. I'd still be curious as to which gender he/she would be, after all ^^

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I live alone with my parrots and pug. My TAG only sees family when they come over on weekends or holidays usually a couple of times a month, at different times. There are two male member of my family that my TAG likes. She will fly to them and sit on the shoulders on her own. She follows my older grandson into the computer room and they share assorted kinds of nuts. Although Ana Grey sees Tony only a couple of times a month, she never forgets their bond. If she hears his voice she will come looking for him. My other grandson, an eleven year old, never interacts with Ana Grey, Ana Grey flies to him. She has chosen him and loves to sit on his shoulder. Greys chose their friends not the other way around. At least that is how it is at my house. My parrots are both flighted and fly in and out of the rooms as they want. Sometimes they just like to sit on perches and watch. Sometimes they go to their birdroom to be alone.

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Do you live at home with family, or with a bunch of room mates? If you live with family I think it's important to have the bird get used to everyone around him/her. If you live with room mates, I think the chaos of people moving out, new people moving in, etc, over the years, could be a bit stressfull.

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I was thinking of going to the pet shop/breeder/anythingelse with all of us, maybe but probably not with the maid, and then choosing the one that chooses me. I've heard that Timneh Greys rarely switch bonds, so from there on it can't really go wrong ^^ I think. Or he chooses multiple people to bond, which I heard also quite often happens ^^

 

Luvparrots - Is he also bonded with you, however? Just curious :P I've heard of African Grey Owners where the african grey just tolerates them >.< I don't want that. I'd be, and it might sound selfish or whatever, heartbroken. I couldn't live with that v.v

 

Also, has anybody had their Timneh or Congo African Grey choose them at the very beginning - at the pet shop or breeder or whoever - and if so, what was it like? ^^

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Also, possibly I'll be buying my Timneh Grey in Holland/Belgium, which is an eight to ten hour flight from here. I'll stay with him one week there before I come back here, where I'll stay the rest of the year. The problem is: he'll be on a ten to eight hour flight back here, after knowing me for about one week, maybe up to two weeks. Is this really bad for our relationship? What if I talk to him all the way here, soothe him 'n' all? Will it be okay?

 

The problem is, I live somewhere where the likelihood of somebody having a Timneh is really small. I know of people that have African Greys - a pet shop - but since Congos are so well known, I'm 95% sure it'll be a Congo. I can search hard and after a while I might find someone that sells a Timneh, but I'd have to be lucky. And if I don't find anyone... well... I'll have to wait 'til I go on vacation either way. I don't want to just 'order' a Timneh, because he might not choose me to bond with in the end.

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There's also a possibility I'll buy him in Belgium, then after a week or so ride with him all the way to Holland in a car and then go on a plane there after one day. I'm scared, seriously. Is this really bad for our relationship?

 

Yes, it would have to be Belgium where I'll buy him, unless I found out it would be desastrous for our relationship, 'cause if I buy him in Holland he'll know me one day before going an eight to ten flight back here. Unless I buy him on our first trip to Holland, but then I'll have to go with him to France, Belgium, and then maybe even back to Holland before coming here. My best chance is Belgium, I think.

 

What are your thoughts? :3

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I already called one pet shop (I live on an island with only two petshops. Can you believe that? v.v), who only has Congo Greys. That already makes the chances of me buying a Timneh here so much smaller. I called the other pet shop, but the phone says it's an incorrect number, so I'll have to visit them instead ._.

 

And I don't think that there are any Timneh Grey breeders here... D: But I'll keep looking.

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My Ana Grey is totally bonded to me and is with me everyday, all day long. The two male family member visit often and so Ana Grey enjoys their company occasionally but will come to me over them. I just wanted you to know that greys/parrots choose the people they like, and who knows why, just like humans, you like certain people/family/friends over others.

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My Ana Grey is totally bonded to me and is with me everyday, all day long. The two male family member visit often and so Ana Grey enjoys their company occasionally but will come to me over them. I just wanted you to know that greys/parrots choose the people they like, and who knows why, just like humans, you like certain people/family/friends over others.

 

I always love these kinds of relatiinships >w< That is how I hope me and my TAG will be :P Was it, like, bond-at-first-sight? xP If so, what happened? Why did you decide to take Ana Grey? :3

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I searched on a site where people on this island put what they're selling on, but there were no African Grey Timnehs. If I don't find any African Grey Timnehs here on the island or in Belgium I'll buy a Congo instead, but first I wanna see if I can find any Timnehs ^^ My biggest chance, I think, is Belgium.

 

I'm also thinking of the whole family going to the breeder or pet shop together, so we can all see the African Grey Timneh. If it chooses me, we'll buy it, though if not we'll probably keep searching. The whole family except for the maid, of course, who won't be in Belgium. At the least it would be me, the ill girl and the five-year-old 'cause the other girl and guy would be busy. But I prefer just taking the whole family ^^

 

And though I'll do my best at socializing the Timneh as to not turn too shy and stuff, I'll still be the Primary Caregiver, because nobody else would want to do it v.v

 

 

Also, when it comes to the second Question, if in Belgium I probably won't go to the vet, which is why I'd really want the breeder or pet shop to have gone themselves. They probably will have, though, I was told... right? :3 That's why I asked for hints of unhealthy just-weaned Timnehs (up to eight months old).

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I did as Ana Grey's breeder total me to, when I brought her home, I held and talked softly to her before I put her in her cage. the breeder said this is what Ana Grey was use to, to be cuddled and loved and that is what I did. Be aware that Ana Grey's breeder held her babies all the time and even made sure they were "user friendly" before she ever let them leave her home. All people interested in her babies had to come into her home and be selected, more or less. I had the choice of five weaned babies and Ana Grey was the one that wanted to stay on my hand and when I put her back in the cage with the others, she stayed by the door wanting to come back to me. We all agreed this was the grey for me. Millie, the breeder, sent home with me enough food for a month, there was a call on my home phone from the breeder wanting to know if Ana Grey was home safely. Ana Grey was the oldest of the five grey (by days) and very self-assured. Ana Grey eats best with me, she loves to steal my lunch or dinner. I think she believes she is human and if I do something she does like she tells me so "Stop that" is something she never hesitates to say to me if I put her in her cage, take something away from her or just scold her. When you go to see new greys, watch their eyes and actions, if there is one who chooses you, you will know it. It will be obvious.

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Okay. Thank you sooooo much for your advice. I will take it all and use it ^^ I'll post a pic and tell you all everything about my new TAG once I get her or him =D I'm so excited. For some reason, I'm so sure that in the future I'll have a loving companion Timneh.

 

Do you have anything to say about the plane ride?? :3 All advice is very, VERRY, welcome :3

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We have member here who purchased their greys from breeders from a distance and their birds were shipped by plane but they were in the cargo hold no in the cabin so since yours would be in the cabin with you in a small travel cage then it should do ok.

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Your TAG will also need time out of the cage. Keep that in mind in regards to family. If your grey is in the main room, your grey should have a relationship with everyone. You don;t him/her to have anxiety over the other fmaily members.

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Thank you very much, judygram, reassurancw, and youp thank you for the advice, too, mucpnch. You people are great help. I was mostly scared, too, that he'd get all settled up in the house and then again end up in a new house and be all anxious. But I guess it'll just take him some time to settle down there as well and then all will be good ^^

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I'm afraid to disagree. Your TAG may seem to choose you by the breeder but there is NO GUARANTEE that in the end you grey will choose you as their number #1 for bonding. Greys can change their favored person and it has nothing to do with being the care giver. If your main concern is being the grey's favored person, wait until you actually move out. The bird will also feel safer being close to all members of a household rathr than placed in high traffic area but only given bonding time with you and being isolated in a busy area.

 

I am not my CAG's favored person. I am the caregiver, I take care of her, she loves me, but I am not her favorite- my husband is even if he only holds her once a week, she loves him most. That's the way of the grey. You can't demand being the favored person no matter what but that doesn't mean your TAG won't love you. And it's cruel to force that bond by isolating him/her.

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