Please help! I'm at the end of my rope!

[mellya3113]

Hello there. I'm new to Grey Forums, but I've had 2 beautiful Gold Capped Conures for over 6 years now. Here's the background on them.

 

I've got Speck (he was my first baby bird). If you look at my profile pic he's the one on the left. I've got mallow (who came about a year after Speck) who is on the right in my profile pic. I got the name Speck because when Speck was a baby and he pooped, it was a tiny little speck! And mallow got her name because her favorite treat is a marshMALLOW. I also have no evidence whether ones male and ones female, but that's how i see them, so that's what i stick with.

 

Now, the past couple years, Speck has been very vicious towards strangers. He was always fine with me but if there was a stranger and he wanted them, he'd bite ME to get to them! No matter where i put his cage he's never been social. He's also developed something like a "fetish" for my feet. He LOVES my feet, he will run to them and love on them. He rubs them and lays on them or beside them, and he has started lunging and biting at me if i go near them. And anyone else who is willing to try! I've moved in with my fiance and Speck is just mean. If we go near his cage he lunges and tries to bite thru the bars. He literally lunges at my fiance from across the room. If Speck gets on the floor then he will RUN toward my fiance (and even our dogs) to try and bite them.

 

Now Mallow has recently started becoming more vicious too. She was always nice, just very scared of quick movements and strange people. She was getting acclimated to my fiance but all of a sudden now she's gotten possessive of her cage and she even bit me yesterday, which is completely out of the ordinary for her! I get near her cage and she's lunging at me now too. She tries to bite me if i put my hand in there. I don't know what could have happened, because nothing has changed in our routine.

 

They both scream SO much. They're in separate cages in front of a bunch of windows so they can see outside and see what's going on. We recently moved into an apartment from a house, so we can't leave the outside to scream their hearts out anymore, and it's frustrating. When we walk in the room, they scream. If they hear me awake in the morning, they immediately start screaming. If we're in the living room where their cages are, and we don't take them out, they start screaming.

 

I know they have every right to scream, and that's fine. I'd like to train them to do something other than scream- maybe like ringing a bell for attention. My problem is their terrible biting. They're completely unfriendly and I'm close to the end of my rope.

 

I LOVE my babies and I'd never want to get rid of them. But it's to the point where I can't hold them if there's anyone else around me. I can't hold them if the dogs are out. I can't hold them if someone is going to walk past me. My fiance can't get near them. They're just too vicious and it's ridiculous. They weren't like this before and I don't know what could have happened to make this start but it's GOT to stop. My fiance wants to get rid of them because he's tired of being bitten for no reason. Or being lunged at. I understand it, but I made a commitment when I bought these babies that i'd do my best for them- and that includes getting them trained. I can't just get rid of them like trash. I love them to death, they're like my children. They love me, but they bite me too. They have both bitten me in the face within the last 3 weeks. It's out of control. i hired a trainer but nothing she did got anywhere and i wasted $3,000.

 

If you have any advice on how to train them or what I should do, i'd greatly appreciate it. I don't want to get rid of my babies or hand them off to someone else who may not care for them like I can and do.

 

If you need pics/videos of how they act, I can make that happen, just let me know.

 

Thanks in advance. I'm oh so desperate!

[thenabrd]

they're very cute birds!

 

i don't know if or how much i can help but i go through similar things with my peach front conure, just not to this extreme. athena is 8 years old and we're the only parents she's ever had. athena chose me as her favorite but she has her quirks! she likes my husband but ALWAYS wants to bite him and will whenever she can. but at the same time, she flirts outrageously with him when she's in her cage. she talks in a higher more gentle voice to him, makes a different kissy sound for him and he can give her scratches in places i'm "not allowed" to! but when she's out of her cage, if i'm around, she becomes little miss attack bird, no flirting, no scratches, just lunges and if she's lucky, bites. so he's learned that when she's out, he stays back, if i'm in the room. if i'm not in the room while she's out, she flirts with him, so i think it's my proximity/being in line of sight, that sets that off.

 

she's bitten me when she couldn't bite him, lol!! (apparently she's never heard about not shooting the messenger i guess) i think she's "protecting" me from her "competition" whenever she's out of her cage. when she's in her cage, if my husband hugs me and athena sees it, she carries on like crazy. so i think there are times she's jealous as well.

 

she goes through screaming stages too. i've tried to see if there's a pattern and season, but with her, not really, it seems to be just a phase. it does make us crazy though!

 

athena also has shown a preference for which hand i can do what with her, then about the time i get it sorted out, she changes the rules. she'll perch on my right hand only, but prefers my left for playing and loving on. there have been times when she's been running around on me, that she'd attack her "unfavorite" hand if she saw both of them at the same time, so sometimes i have to hide the offending hand, hahaha!

 

she's a contrary little thing, sometimes more so than others, but i love her anyway! maybe your 2 are just totally freaked out with all the changes they're going through right now. maybe they think they're "losing" you to the "enemy". they may never truly accept your fiance, but maybe they can develop a truce of a sorts. maybe he could concentrate on just one of your birds at a time, and if that one accepts him more and in a better way, the other will see he's not such a bad person and learn from that.

 

i've left the room to give my husband time alone with athena during the rough times in the past. he had special treats for her that only came from him. over time, she's decided he's not so bad, but he'd better leave momma bird "alone" when she's out of her cage and riding around on the momma bird.

 

they just sound jealous, and scared to me and i think if you two can address it one bird at a time, the other one will see it's not such a bad thing. like i said, i don't know if any of this helps you at all and i'm sorry you're going through it. i had to be innovative and think outside of the box when athena started doing some of these things. i hope this helps and hopefully some one else will have even better answers than i do! good luck!

[birdhouse]

they're very cute birds! ... they just sound jealous, and scared to me ... good luck!

 

Me, too. I've rehab'd some really aggressive Conures & that just seems to be what it has always come down to.

 

I know this is really frustrating & I'm sorry that you spent a ton of money on a bogus bird trainer. But it's not too late to start over. Maybe I've been lucky, but the Conures I've worked with can "get over it" better than some Greys for instance who seem more easily scarred for life.

 

There are a lot of people who think highly of Good Bird, Inc. Barbara Heidenrich has a pretty good rep in a lot of circles. She has a website & training courses that you might find helpful.

 

There's also a book which a few of the forum members have been really impressed with called "The Parrot Problem Solver". I've literally just picked it up & have only just skimmed thru it. The first thing I noticed was like 85% of the listings in the table of contents was aggression related.

 

Maybe this would be a good place for you & your fiance to start.

[mellya3113]

Thanks guys, I Appreciate the responses. I subscribed a while ago to http://www.birdtricks.com and I just couldn't bring myself to spend the money they ask for, for their training courses. The biting course is like $50 and I can't even be certain that it would work! There's so many scams out there nowadays that I'm scared to spend money anywhere online! So I got an email offer from them (of course.. because they hound you everyday!) and all they wanted was $6 for shipping to send it to me for 30 days and if I'm not satisfied with the course I'm able to send it back at no additional cost. So that's what i've done. I ordered it like 2 days ago and I'm waiting for it to get here now, so I'll let everyone know how I like or DON'T like the course, and whether or not I'm sending it back lol. I'm also going to look into this Barbara Heidenrich lady that you were talking about in your response. I'm willing to do whatever I Have to in order to rehab these babies back to their normal, happy go lucky, loving selves. But I absolutely WON'T hire another trainer. (FYI; the SAME trainer offers to come to my home still -i recently relocated and she charges by the mile- for ONLY $150 per trip! She's outrageous. AND, if I want a "phone session" with her, it's going to cost me $50! She's nuts... I'll take everyone's advice here first.) I'll keep everyone updated. Thanks everyone!

[Barbara2]

Thanks guys, I Appreciate the responses. I subscribed a while ago to http://www.birdtricks.com and I just couldn't bring myself to spend the money they ask for, for their training courses. The biting course is like $50 and I can't even be certain that it would work! There's so many scams out there nowadays that I'm scared to spend money anywhere online! So I got an email offer from them (of course.. because they hound you everyday!) and all they wanted was $6 for shipping to send it to me for 30 days and if I'm not satisfied with the course I'm able to send it back at no additional cost. So that's what i've done. I ordered it like 2 days ago and I'm waiting for it to get here now, so I'll let everyone know how I like or DON'T like the course, and whether or not I'm sending it back lol. I'm also going to look into this Barbara Heidenrich lady that you were talking about in your response. I'm willing to do whatever I Have to in order to rehab these babies back to their normal, happy go lucky, loving selves. But I absolutely WON'T hire another trainer. (FYI; the SAME trainer offers to come to my home still -i recently relocated and she charges by the mile- for ONLY $150 per trip! She's outrageous. AND, if I want a "phone session" with her, it's going to cost me $50! She's nuts... I'll take everyone's advice here first.) I'll keep everyone updated. Thanks everyone!

 

You might want to do a search of the "birdtricks" site. I would look for reviews before I would spend a dime.

[judygram]

There's so many scams out there nowadays that I'm scared to spend money

anywhere online! So I got an email offer from them (of course.. because they

hound you everyday!)

You might as well throw your money in the trash can as send any to "birdtricks" site so forget about that one.

[Greywings]

Agreed the Bird tricks site does not build any trust it flood the bird to get an immediate response not a long term workable relationship. Do find the Yahoo bird clicker training group or Barbara Heidenreich has lots of free information available and she explains how to build trust and accomplish your goals, the best I can offer is relax and work with Patience.

[Pi_1]

I would hazard a guess that they're jealous of your fiance taking their time with you. My Grey got quite jealous of my fiance at first. My Grey has gotten used to her, however, and I make a point to spend alone time with my Grey to avoid jealous behavior. She has warmed up to my fiance quite a bit, and now calls her ""mama" and goes to see her occasionally. My fiance still can not let her near her hands or feet, however, or she'll attack - but she can kiss her beak and rub her beak while she's in her cage.

 

I would advise spending alone time with your birds every day without the dogs or fiance around. Also, try having your fiance bring the food, treats, and water to their cages when it is time - this worked well with my Grey. Don't give up on them!