I love my step-bird

[allie]

I'm learning to be a good bird mom for Neko, our beloved grey. My husband got him a few years before we met in 2007. Neko is very sweet, quite verbal, and loves to play games. But I think he's got some minor socialization problems. When we were dating, then-boyfriend began spending a lot of time at my house, checking in on the bird every few days. After we'd been dating for about two years I started feeling pretty bad for Neko, so we brought him to live in my house.

 

We got of to kind of a rough start. One of the first times I met Neko, he gave me a good chomp on the finger, drawing blood. For this reason, I've never felt comfortable handling him. I'm happy to interact with him, pet him on the beak when he's in the cage, play with him and pet him when he's out, let him climb on me or perch on my knee, etc. But I only hold him when my husband hands him to me, and I feel all shaky and awkward when I do it. He never gets to come out when my husband isn't home, because I don't feel confident that I can get him back in the cage.

 

It doesn't help that his wings aren't clipped, so he flies off when he gets spooked. But we have two cats and I can't bear the idea of having a flightless and vulnerable bird in the house.

 

Neko gets good attention and a few hours out of the cage on most days. We have a one-bedroom condo, so we're always in the room with him or just around the corner in the kitchen. We all maintain a pretty constant dialog I think he's just as fond of me as he is of his bird-dad, but I'm much more easily spooked when he lunges or acts out.

 

We're a happy family, but I definitely want to feel more confident about handling him and getting him as well-socialized as we can.

 

Allie

Edited May 1, 2011 by allie

[katana600]

Bless you for your attitude and acceptance of Neko. My family is in a similar situation with our sweet guy. My husband and daughters just admitted they are "scared to death of that beak". We are working to get him to be less spooked by them, letting them give him his all time favorite treat of an almond. I can't tell you how much I appreciate when they take the advice to go slow, not to push him until he is ready. You are to be commended for the attitude you have that you love him and talk to him and keep him company. Don't beat yourself up because he isn't out when you are home alone with him. He sounds perfectly happy to be in his cage until your husband comes home. A lot of birds are home alone while the family works and they accept cage time and then love when their favorite person comes home. You have a good relationship and it will go to a new level when both you and Neko are prepared for that. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. It helps to think of your perspective when Gilbert is less than gracious about other family members approaching him.

[allie]

I admit I felt pretty self-consious about posting my introduction. I felt like I was publicly announcing that we neglected our bird and now I can't give him the attention he deserves. Thank you for reminding me that it's really not so bad!

 

My husband thinks that Neko likes and trusts me as much as himself. He plays a peek-a-boo game where you hide him behind a pillow or something and he says, "Where'd Neko go?", and then reappear and say "There he is!". We were surprised when he started using "Where'd Allie go?" and "There she is!" instead! When I left for a few weeks in January, I'm told that he asked for me relentlessly and very seriously. How validating is that?!

 

I know I'll get there, but I wish the "it takes work" part of all this wasn't at such a basic level of interaction.