Gilbert is home

[katana600]

Gilbert's vet called to say all of his blood screenings were normal and that his rasping was probably overexertion. He was pushing his boundaries and comfort zone to walk to the kitchen and there were scary things out there with pot racks hanging, sharp knives in view, cutting boards handy, poor guy may have thought the veggies I was chopping were for parrot stew. No wonder he tried to fly out of there in a panic. He calls hmself Gilbert and says daily what a good boy he is, it would be a challenge to change his mind on that one. He really has been making some remarkable progress. It seems for the longest time I had to wait while he was locked down with fear. Now as he has started getting his mojo we have something new every day. I was really intimidated by the prospect of a "bird with issues" but given the chance to blossom, Gilbert has been well worth the effort. Knowing how hard it has been for him to trust every tiny increment of progress was hard to achieve and worthy of a huge celebration. Last night as he closed his eyes and surrendered to the feeling of my finger on his head and neck (still through the bars) I was thinking how he would try to be relaxed before but couldn't help himself from pulling back and trying to bite out of reflex. Still, his "signs" are subtle, I have just learned to read him better and to keep him from getting distraught and fearful enough to bite.

[kittykittykitty]

Good news on the lab work! If Gilbert is a female what would it hurt to just leave everything as is as far as name, etc. go. This bird is so special just as (s)he is thanks to you, Dee.

[Timbersmom]

A good report from the vet is always such a relief.

[Luvparrots]

Well Gabriela is a lovely name. Can't wait to hear if Gilbert is a guy!

[katana600]

If Gilbert's DNA says he is a she, it probably wouldn't change much for a while as I get over the shock. I was never told he had DNA testing, just that his name is Gilbert and he says it a lot. He also met a friend of ours named Walter once, two years ago plus and says his name a lot too. He also calls out for Jim, whom I am told was his beloved first companion human. But, he doesn't use Jim or Walter, or LuLu in a way that he does when he talks about himself. It is uncanny that he started saying "Gilbert okay" when he most definitely isn't okay, in a shaky voice and sounding so much like he is trying to convince himself. Or when he says "time to go night night Gilbert". Gabriella does sound like a wonderful name, I would love to get a baby and name her that. LOL. As for our little rag TAG fellow, it would be a little tougher to convince ourselves to change anything except vet records, but who knows how his life would evolve with that kind of revelation. We have already had some happy surprises with Gilbert, who knows what is in store? All I know is better to have a piece of paper to disabuse me of my acceptance that he is a boy rather than an egg with no warning, or worse if "he" were to become egg bound.

[Wingy]

You won't treat Gilbert any different once you know for sure. It is only us humans who concern ourselves with what we consider gender specific names.

[danmcq]

It is uncanny that he started saying "Gilbert okay" when he most definitely isn't okay, in a shaky voice and sounding so much like he is trying to convince himself. Or when he says "time to go night night Gilbert".

 

Dayo uses "It's ok Dayo" when he is approaching something new in the home or if he got startled by something. It certainly does seem like they are reassuring themselves.

 

One cannot but fall in love with Gilbert and his valiant efforts to start letting his guard down and open up as he fights to over come the fear instilled by previous bad experiences. The want and need to feel safe, loved and have contact with another is a powerful driving factor. It seems Gilbert has a powerful underlying knowledge that love and companionship must exist in the world somewhere and his journey has finally led him to it.

[katana600]

Thanks Dan, your words are kind and encouraging. Gilbert is unique and wonderful in his own way. He was subdued and shut down for so long and it didn't seem as if he was going to decide to stay with us. There is so much more I wish I could do for him but its more important to allow him to come at his own pace. My job isn't to "rescue" him as much as just to stand next to him, lift him up when he falls and give him the room and grace to open his heart again to humans. I am not sure he has had abuse as much as being bereft and broken hearted at being uprooted. I am out of state at the moment and have pet sitters staying at our house and Gilbert has been chatty and seems relaxed. He seems to get it that I take him and I bring him back. I leave and return. It made a huge difference that this is a happy visit, he was well prepared and his schedule is much the same, in his own house. The last time, he nervously chewed his feathers was a stressful, sad time in our family. There is no doubt in my mind these greys understand much more of our world than I do of theirs.

[katana600]

We returned home from our trip last night and Gilbert was downright surly. I rejoice! Haha. I am happy because he has finally reached a place where he can show his displeasure without harming himself or turning into a shaking bundle of anxiety. He tried luring me in with sweet words and a fake head tuck at his favorite scratching perch and he tried to bite me. It was breathtaking in his ferocity and the quickness of his strike. The good news is it lasted until bed time as he refused his almond and decided he was going to go eat worms. He gave me nary a "hey" as I turned off his light and he grumbled to high heaven. He was letting me know just how annoyed he was to be left behind like a dog, actually with the dogs, as I jetted off somewhere wonderful without him. Seriously, I was gone four nights. He had a babysitter! How rude. He was not allowed out of his cage and to roam free as he would normally. But... the good news is, he awakened this morning ready to start a new day. Someone here recommended quite some time ago to put steel measuring cups on a quick link and although I used steel measuring spoons, he had ignored them for quite a few weeks. This morning he is up there banging the living terror out of those spoons. He is able to vent and sulk like a genuinely "normal" African grey. Woot! He quickly forgave David, probably because he travels extensively and Gilbert knows it is his job. LOL. With me, this time, it was purely pleasure travel to visit my daughters after their relocation to the Dallas Texas area. Once Gilbert got his warm beans served up on a crystal tray, he is begrudgingly relenting and relaxing his stance but I would not offer him a finger or a limb any time soon. Actually, I kid. He did let me scratch his head in the wee hours this morning, in a dim light, he must have thought I was someone else. A year ago, I would have not believed this scared shaking little bundle of plucked fluff would reach a place where he could be so aggressive with banging those spoons and swinging upside down in a real temper tantrum. I celebrate him moving into the realm of a well adjusted and demonstrative... (hah, demon is in that word) grey. Oh, and he has been cussing and staring me down. I have had a poker face and he stares at me intently as he attempts to provoke me or make me turn away. I am not budging. I have a demon in my soul too Gilbert. Hahahahaha. Honestly, I had a live in pet sitter while I was gone and she is honest and would tell me if he was distressed and it was so relaxing to be away doing something fun. And oh, by the way, everything really is bigger in Texas, my suitcase grew by eleven pounds after I found a quilt shop and a Half Price Book store. This is the first time since Gilbert came that I went away and just had fun. I feel exhilarated. Don't tell him. I am working hard on that poker face.

[Timbersmom]

It sounds like you are well on your way to paying your "debt" to Gilbert for your mistreatment. They always have to put on a bit of a show just to let you know they noticed your absence and were displeased don't they? I'd give him 72 hours...

[Wingy]

I am so glad to hear that Gilbert is in a good place and is comfortable enough to show his displeasure by actually directing it at those he is displeased with. I am thrilled to hear that Gilbert loves his measuring spoons. Jake has a set hanging on a pear link and he too loves to do fierce battle with them. You will hear some pretty awful squawks, including some that indicate pain, but try and let him work it out unless he gets hung up some how. He will figure out how not to pinch his toes between the spoon handles by trial and error and he will learn there are consequences if he forgets.

[katana600]

Merciful days, the fury of a little fellow who believes he was grievously wronged. Last night I asked him to go to bed and he refused. He was on the playstand next to his cage, so I reached up and jangled his spoons. He came skittering just as fast as he could and climbed to the top and then in a blind fury he jumped off the playtop trying to get me. When he did calm down and go into his cage for bed time, I tried to give him his almond between the bars and he would have none of it. It is just shocking to see how cunning he is to come almost to the bars, appear to be tucking his head to lure me closer and then to attack with such force I thought he would bend the bars and stick his whole head right through. I softly told him goodnight and added "see you Wednesday" for his 72 hour venom to wear off. Then, this morning I was up way early at 5:30 and while it was still dark in the house, he made his familiar baby crying sound, grabbed the bars tightly with his talon and ducked his head in the familiar begging stance. As much as my brain was telling me to stay back, my heart made me reach into the "zone" and he not only rewarded me by allowing me to rub his head, he turned and pressed against the bars, eyes tightly closed and offered me the tender hollow spot under his lower mandible. That is a first. I can not tell you how petrified I was to have my fingers in the bars so far that should he turn and take a swipe I know my knuckle would get stuck or I would break my own finger trying to escape. LOL. For the first time, I had two fingers cupped around his entire head and he was warm and relaxed. Now he is sweet. I am not going to tell him today is Tuesday. LOL.

[Timbersmom]

No, it is definitely Wednesday. I'll back you up!

[katana600]

The vet just called to confirm Gilbert is a boy. Of course we all knew that, he calls himself Gilbert. Except, he is not a boy, she is a girl.... I so did not expect that. For some reason it made me tearful. I just don't get it, but there is something more endearing about her being sent from place to place with everyone thinking she was a boy. My daughter said to call her Gilly, but I am thinking maybe, in a former life somewhere HER name was LuLu. She is a loo loo. I have a new baby girl.

[Luvparrots]

Excellent! Hello Gilda!!! Well now so your grey is a lady. No wonder she has been annoyed with you! Who would have known!!!!

Edited September 3, 2013 by luvparrots

[birdhouse]

Woww! The Gil/Jill/Lulu(?)/Phenix parrallel universe aligns again! Everyone who was "supposed" to know swore he was a female. Since gender neutral references seem well rude for want of better way to put it, I defaulted to female & of course so did Phenix. And for some reason, I've been waiting for you to post this. But it still gave me chills!

 

Well, Congratulations on your new baby girl!!! And don't worry. everyone will catch up w/Gilbert's sex change in about a month or so.

[Wingy]

Well try Lulu for a while and see what happens. It is possible that Gilbert was the former owner but it is just as possible that your feather baby has always been a Gilbert.

[Timbersmom]

Wow, that would be a shock. I've actually hesitated to have Timber tested because at some level "he" will always be a boy to me. Maybe I'll just live in blissful ignorance. The hardest thing for me would be trying to say "her" instead of "him." In the end, what difference does it really make though? Very interesting theory about LuLu. Who knows? That could have been her name at one time. I hadn't thought about it, but some do rename the birds they rehome so it is certainly possible.

[katana600]

We have been having a song fest and lots of hooting excitement celebrating her womanhood. LOL. All I can think of is the song lyrics, not the real lyrics, but how I remember them: He plucked his eyebrows on the way. He shaved his legs then he was a she. She said 'Hey Babe take a walk on the wild side'. She gets real excited to hear me say "Hey LuLu" to her rather than the other way around. Also in the midst of running the blender to have a celebration mojito with the neighbor who just cared for them while we were on our trip, our little "girl" said "Gilbert okaaaaay" to convince 'himself'. Time will tell and if we have a girl named Gilbert, so be it. If nothing else, we are taking a walk on the wild side. I told my sister I was really hoping for Gilbert to be a boy so everything would be just exactly the way I thought it was. Also because of his tattered little rag tag feathers, I wouldn't want him to turn out to be a sad looking disheveled girl. Then I happened to walk past a mirror today. Hahahahahaa.... who is kidding whom? My husband has a demo bike to try out and we couldn't buy it until it has a thousand miles on it. So, today while he is out of town, I was taking a ride on the wild side. I rode all the way to South Carolina and then back the busiest expressways in the country on I85, the fourteen lane 285 loop and up GA 400. A truck dumped a box of pipes, about fifty pieces of three foot long, 2 1/2" diameter steel pipes with a square bracket welded on the end. We were going well over 75 miles and hour bumper to bumper and every lane crammed. I was in the middle of the three lanes of debris. The cars in front were throwing the steel projectiles into the air like missiles back at us, they were flattening tires. It was like a scene from an action movie. I lay flat on my tank, ducked, held my lane and it was awesome! So... he or she, which will it be? Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. I love that we don't HAVE to be defined by gender. And if someone is feeling sorry for a scruffy little girl, don't look in my mirror. Hahahahaha... LOL.

[judygram]

Well congrats on having a girl named Gilbert, yes it does sound sort of strange and will be difficult for us to adjust to him being a her, gosh who would have figured but the tests don't lie, now to convince myself that Gilbert is a female, Gilbert is a girl, Gilbert is a woman, nah it still sounds strange but I am working on it, a work in progress, yeah take a walk on the wild side.

[Kizzybird]

Congrats on your DNA results, Gilberta?! I looked up the meaning of the female name, Gilberta (which I have never heard of before) and it means " Bright Promise"

[Luvparrots]

Love the song "I am Woman". For you Gilbert:

 

I am woman, hear me roar

In numbers too big to ignore

And I know too much to go back an' pretend

'cause I've heard it all before

And I've been down there on the floor

No one's ever gonna keep me down again

 

CHORUS

Oh yes I am wise

But it's wisdom born of pain

Yes, I've paid the price

But look how much I gained

If I have to, I can do anything

I am strong (strong)

I am invincible (invincible)

I am woman

 

You can bend but never break me

'cause it only serves to make me

More determined to achieve my final goal

And I come back even stronger

Not a novice any longer

'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

 

CHORUS

 

I am woman watch me grow

See me standing toe to toe

As I spread my lovin' arms across the land

But I'm still an embryo

With a long long way to go

Until I make my brother understand

 

Oh yes I am wise

But it's wisdom born of pain

Yes, I've paid the price

But look how much I gained

If I have to I can face anything

I am strong (strong)

I am invincible (invincible)

I am woman

Oh, I am woman

I am invincible

I am strong

 

FADE

I am woman

I am invincible

I am strong

I am woman

[katana600]

She really takes an interest to LuLu but we have been saying it back and forth for at least six months. It will be hard enough for me to not identify her as Gilbert and we have only had each other for 2 1/2 years. I can only imagine how long she has considered herself Gilbert. It will take a lot more thinking on my part to decide what is the right thing to do here. It wouldn't hurt to call her Gilbert, but it would get confusing and I would feel like explaining it every time. My family gets a vote and they are all traveling or out of state right now. So, I get to practice a little calling her LuLu. My daughter texted she votes for Gilly since that is what she has called her all along. It came after a family member was diagnosed with "Gilbert's syndrome" and it was a french pronunciation kind of like Gil Bear, so she called her Gilly Bear. For LuLu, who knows? Once or twice she has referred to one dog by the name we call him, and always calls the other one Lou. There is definitely someone in her past named Gilbert, Jim and LuLu. Isn't it fascinating what we learn from our rehomed parrots? Or at least what we can guess we know from them. I can't wait to hear how my husband feels about this. I texted him to tell him Gilbert is a girl. He texted back "yes". He was on a flight to Salt Lake City and on to somewhere to then drive to Bend Oregon so I haven't had a conversation. I am thinking the "yes" was a high five that we got new information after paying for a test so he thinks he got his money's worth. LOL. Who knows. I didn't think he would care. Could be that Gilbert has been so grumpy, hubby was certain it was a she? Careful or the walk on the wild side from him may lead to battle scars. LOL. This is actually kind of fun and exciting to shake up our world.

[katana600]

@Kizzybird, That is so sweet, thanks for looking it up. I thought when I brought her home, she was a diamond in the rough, and bright promise is perfect. I love that.

[katana600]

Janet and Judy, this is just too much fun, all the possibilities. She might take to this better than we do. I was standing in the kitchen washing the dishes and she clearly said "I'm a pretty girl". She tells me I"m a pretty girl, or will say Java is a pretty girl but there was no mistaking her saying "I'm a pretty girl". We will have to see if we hear "Gilbert's a good boy". You know, she came in saying "Shut up you idiot" and over time that has changed. I have a feeling she is smarter than me and she will soon tell me how its going to be. Male or female, plucked and flightless or luxurious full feathers, I love this little character with all my heart. She is a beautiful soul, Gilbert or whomever she recreates herself to become.