Ellen Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 I need some more help please. If you are not familiar with my prev posts than I will brief that I adopted Joei about 4 weeks ago. She was not in great health and very stressed. We have come a long way and she seems pretty happy and getting into a routine. I am soaking up as much info as possible. I adore her comical ways. Unfortunatly for me she likes my husband and seems to hate me. I am the one that wanted her and does everything. I can live with the unappreciation for I have older teens am I am used to that lol. What I am having a hard time with is that when we let her out she attacks my feet and legs and doesit to viciously that she draws blood. I have tried ignoring her thinking she would get bored. I have also tried pushing her so she would not like being off balance but that just made her even more ferocious. IUts like having my own personal mini veloser rapter AHHHH ! please help someone What do I do ? I have backed off and just give her an occasional sunflower seed to try and win her over. She just gives me this %#$& you look. I am so jealous of my husband. This is also effecting the way I need to care for her at times. The prev owner must have lied because he said she had never bit anyone and when she attacks me she says , " Bad Bird Joei " lol also the prev owner said that she never comes down off her cage and as soon as we let her out she wants straight to the floor. I have read that a bird is going to bite sometimes but should not draw blood and Joei is ripping holes into myself and even my husband at times. We really try to read the signs and dont hassle her but she is going way out of the way to bite us. I could be across the room and she has 1 thing on her mind. My husband laughs and tells her to go get her snack ( please help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellen Posted March 9, 2011 Author Share Posted March 9, 2011 I just let her out of her cage and she seems all silly and happy so I decide maybe she would like a sunflowerseed ( I am trying to kiss up as usual ) and she trots across the top of the cage and seems like she wants the seed but BAM ! she bit me so hard that I have another hole that needs attention and a bandaid. Should I just stop trying ? I feel like she wont get enough attention if I stop. Once again HELP ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray P Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 You may be trying to hard and to fast. A little over two years ago we rehomed a 12 or 13 year old aggressive blue feonted amazon that had a clolorfull past at best. We started by leaving her in her cage and every time we went by her cage we would give her a treat theough the bars and sit next to the cage and talk to her. After a short time when we came by her cage she would come over to us for a treat or just to sit buy us and then she would put her head down for a head rub. We than would leave her door open to come out and have treats in her cage so she would go back. By having treats for her she new that when she saw us something good would happen. All this took time and it was on her terms. Don`t give up she will come around and it WILL be on her terms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greywings Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 Don't rush the relationship the advice given above by Ray is so true. New house, new faces, new routines, new foods and sight s and smells and past baggage to overcome. Take it slow let her feel safe inside the cage first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcusCAG Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 Don`t give up she will come around and it WILL be on her terms. I think that is a very true statement. These parrots are all very intelligent and all have their own personalities, and depending on how they were treated in the past, there might be more issues to deal with than desired... but in our home, we've had our Marcus a little over five months now, and he came with SO MUCH baggage, but he is just delighting us by finally starting to turn around a bit. But we made mistakes in the beginning, which probably didn't help, but with patience and persistence and letting him have his space, Marcus is definitely making desirable progress with us. It seems as though you have a bit of a "toe nabber" though, Marcus tries this too with my husband and recently eyed up my feet after I painted my nails (a rare thing for me). But I told him that he needed to be a good boy and distracted him with a foot toy, and then he kind of forgot about nipping my toes! He does love to go after my husband's feet though so I need to intervene, he is less likely to bite me than my husband and so perhaps when you let Joei out and about, if your husband is the favored one, let him play interference whenever possible. Just a thought. But if you can distract Joei from unwanted behaviors and teach him more desirable behaviors instead (like chewing foot toys and such) then over time he will come to understand what is and is not acceptable in your home and may come to naturally "blend in" with his new flock around him more easily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellen Posted March 9, 2011 Author Share Posted March 9, 2011 Thank you all these replies gives me hope. I was just afraid to back off that much for I thought she would be lonely. What should I look for when she is ready to trust me a little more because now she acts like she s not afraid of us at all. She is the one that persues every encounter that ends up with me bleeding lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcusCAG Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 What should I look for when she is ready to trust me a little more because now she acts like she s not afraid of us at all. She is the one that persues every encounter that ends up with me bleeding lol. I wouldn't say you ever want Joei to be afraid of you. (And I'm sorry about my other post, I thought she was a he!) It's really a matter of "respect", or more to the point, of giving proper space and forms of attention. The biting is not an appropriate outlet for her to give you attention... perhaps that's all she knows how to interact with humans at this point? Marcus came to us having not been handled or taken out of his cage for the past three years or so--he had no idea of "limits" and I really had to 'teach' him that biting down hard and sawing on my finger really hurt Mommy! (I did this by crying in front of him, actually, after the fact. He apparently associated my tears with pain and after that, honestly, he was so much more gentle with me. I don't know if Joei will be so easy to educate in that regard, though.) But if Joei pursues you like that, perhaps she is not ready to have limitless freedom on the floor yet, for your safety as well as hers... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellen Posted March 9, 2011 Author Share Posted March 9, 2011 Thank you so much. I do feel that that is true I just did not want to react in the wrong way and mistreat her. We bought her a new cage ( the largest we could find a double macaw cage ) and we made the switch slowly and properly. We kept her in her new cage for 3 days after she made the switch and I seem to notice her being more secure and friendlier. My husband is the one that insists that she get out everyday at the moment but I see her acting much more insecure and aggresive. So I think slower is better. I will let her earn a little more time out with us. Right now she is just being a monster when she is out. It is so nice to be reasured about things from the experts. We boughtseveral books on Greys and asked the vet as many questions we could think of but none has helped me as much as this site. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelly Yokum Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 I have also read that birds, and including the gray's can be a one person bird only. Some even thing that they bond easier with the opposite sex. I am not sure I believe all this, even thou it maybe true in some cases. I think over time she will come around. I would try being her care giver. You be the one to feed her, give treats, bath time etc. Birds to come around, and associate good people with good food. That is how I am winning over my adopted Ruby. Boy is he a hand full. That story for another day. .... hang in there this may be the biggest challenge you have ever had, but the winning reward will be well worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 You came up with your own answer, slower is better. Four weeks in the life of a grey is a blink of an eye. They have their own schedule and personality. No matter what her previous home was like, she is probably quite peeved at the change, even when it is for the better. They really like knowing how to predict their environment and their people. If her health is an issue she would be stressed double and has chosen your to be her "sounding board", scapegoat and nipping target. Take heart, it could be that she knows she has your attention. It took months for me to be able to approach Kopi when he first came to us and he was still relatively young. Talking gently to her while she is in her cage and you are protected will gain you lots of points with her. It really isn't punishment for her to be in her cage until she is more settled and earns the privilege to be out with her flock. If that is her happy place where she feels more secure for now, you can earn more trust in a gradual way. At first biting is somewhat reflex from the stress of her changes, but if she learns it is an effective tool, she might get more assertive about it. They say greys are subtle but if you aren't listening to the body language in their sublte way, they will go for whatever technique gives them more bang for the buck. Read up on the body language thread, especially the pinning of the eyes. Trade on the fondness she seems to have for your husband. The more she feels safe and comfortable with him, the more influence he will have in helping her to trust you little by little. He should be the one to pick her up and put her back in her cage and tell her "don't bite" if she comes after you. The more you quietly avoid the contacts that will elicit bites, and the more he shows her gently that she has to respect and tolerate you, the more his leadership will help change her behavior. I know it is really hard to be the unfavored one. My husband has had that role and while secretly in my heart it makes me glad to be chosen and trusted, I worked really hard to make sure not to reinforce that luxury but to keep everyone at peace for the greater good of everyone involved. You are doing so many things right, thanks for joining us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 I just reread your posts and you are very astute in figuring her out and noticing she was better and calmer after being in the cage for three days. I can also see your husband's side of insisting to let her out because he is thrilled with their time together, as anyone would be. Maybe if you were to use that time to have a bubble bath or other little life luxury while they have productive time together, it would not so much be a battleground time where she is trying to chase you out. In the long run, it could be the ticket to him being the one to get her settled and calm in her new home and then standing firm to her as you gradually come in and get closer. They do have distinct personalities and preferences, but he can still teach her good manners and how to treat the other lady in his life. Really, you time together is relatively short and as personal as it may feel when she goes after you, it really reflects where she came from and what she learned before she met you. Take your time, find positive ways to interact with her from a little distance and you will learn her ways and overcome her baggage and her best side will slowly emerge and you will take delight in her antics even if it is from a safe distance for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave007 Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 (edited) ****If you are not familiar with my prev posts than I will brief that I adopted Joei about 4 weeks ago.*** This isn't really important other than it's obvious that she doesn't know everything about you and what goes on and you don't trust her because of the things she does to make you fearful. The learning period happens over a certain amount of time ( sometimes, a long period of time) especially when the bird has lived in another home. In this case, the important thing is biting parts of your body. So instead of telling you loads of possible solutions to this problem, I'll ask a few questions and this has nothing to do with what the previous owner said be it the truth or a lie. 1--what would you do if your bird liked to go on your shoulder and liked to bite your earlobes or neck or pulling at your hair all the time as soon as she's up there and draws blood? 2--what's the difference between feet / legs getting bitten in comparison to cheeks /neck/face getting bitten and draws blood? Edited March 11, 2011 by Dave007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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