I don't know what to do.....

[rEsage]

I am so lost on what to do. I feel completely clueless. Yes it has only been so short, I have had my grey for 3 weeks. How long does this last? Do I just have to have extreme patience? but what about - When do you start to train step - up, what clues let me know when I should start getting physical training with him.

 

I open his cage he comes rite out, and sits on top. Eventually he comes up to me ( I NEVER TRY and force him up) but he comes up for the wrong reasons, it feels like he doesn't want to but does and goes straight to my shoulder. Is he still getting use to me or something? Do I just give up on trying to teach him "step up" until I dunno when.

 

If he comes on to me he will sit for a second and either go straight up to my shoulder or start biting my hand/fore arm. It doesn't seem like hes just "being curious" my arms have black and blues and little scabs around my thumb area. I reward/praise him if he comes up and sits there but that doesn't seem to have an effect.

 

He does not want to be anywhere but on top/in his cage or on the bar at the end of my bed.

 

Do I just stop trying to interact physically with him for a long time?

Are we just never going to have a bond and that's the way it has to be? Am I not the chosen one? (He's 6mo - a year (I think)

 

Please help.....

 

 

-He ate his dinner, got on top of his cage. Made a squeak noise and I went over and he came rite on to me. He sat on my arm for 2seconds and I just talked to him.

 

After 2 seconds he begins to bite for what reason I do not know.

 

This is what my arm looks like (this is not just being curious?) Someone said in another post, to just man up to the biting? how do I do that when my arm is swelling up from them...... it hurts!.

 

The swelling is not from allergies.....

 

 

Do greys usually go from aggressive biting

 

to wanting to be scratched?

 

Edited February 11, 2011 by rEsage

[Acappella]

I know you're stressed out right now. Can you give us a little more information? You said he's 6mo - a year. I'm guessing that means he didn't come straight to you from the breeder? How many homes has he been in, and what do you know about how he was treated in those homes? Understanding his baggage could help us advise you.

 

For now, I would not let him on your shoulder. It sounds like he may never be a shoulder bird. My Dorian is Never Ever allowed on my shoulder, he startles too easily, and my ear, lip, and check are waaay too pierceable. If you're consistant with denying him access, he will eventually stop trying. The way to do it is to step him up onto your hand with your arm bent so that your hand is the high point (Someone told me once to think of it as holding your arm in the "Walk Like an Egyption" pose.) Make sure your hand is far enough away from your shoulder that he can't just grab your shoulder and transfer himself there. Keep your thumb tucked inside your fist, and stretched so that the skin is tight over your hand, so it's hard for his beak to grab onto. The only way for him to get to your shoulder then is to climb down your forearm and back up your arm to your shoulder, and it's against a bird's instinct to climb down.

 

Now you have to teach him where the line is between an acceptable "testing the perch" bite pressure, and when it's too hard. When the bite starts to get too hard, tell him "gentle" in a soft, warning voice, with a serious face (they read our facial expressions). If he persists, roll your hand, or raise and lower it suddenly, making his perch unstable, at the same time telling him "be gentle" and making a sad face. If he still tries to truly bite you, then put him back on a perch or his cage and tell him why he has to come off your hand.

 

Then you start to build on success. Put him on your hand for just a minute, before he even thinks about biting, then give him all sorts of praise in an excited voice telling him what a good bird he is, and put him down on a perch with a favourite treat. Very gradually let him stay on your hand for longer periods of time. They're smart. He'll figure it out, as in, "hmmm. When I don't bite I get praise and a treat, when I bite I feel unstable, and get no praise and no treat" If he regresses with a bite, be consistant. Unstable perch, sad face, walk away for a few minutes. (If you can't leave the room, turn your back for a couple of minutes) Then go back to behaving normally. Make these sessions short, fun, and try always to end with a success and a treat. Then he'll want to be with you because it's fun and safe.

[Talon]

Yes, I agree with Acappella, it is too soon to allow him the privilege of your shoulder. He will have to earn that as you bond to him. 3 weeks is very little time to think your going to teach him anything. He is still adapting to his new home, sounds, people, etc. greys are slow in their evaluation process. They are incredibly smart, but cautios and careful. It will take much longer to expect him to lear the final behaviour you are expecting, but by being consistent, he is learning every time you are. As for the biting, he is testing you, and will continue to do so for some time. Wear long sleeves, put him down every time he bites you. But personally, he would only be allowed on my hand until he learns that you are not "his" perch to chew on and bite.

[Morana]

My Zak bit when he had trust issues. If your Grey had previous owners that just might be the clue. When I learned Zaks body language, started to respect his wishes (for example when to be left alone, ..), took better care about his needs, he stared to change. I can say honestly that I thought, at the time, I was doing everything right, but now I now I didn't.

He still bites my boyfriend when he can't communicate with him. They are bites of warning but if my boyfriend would persist in bullying him I think it would get ugly. But in that case, my boyfriend very well deserves it. However, a while ago, Zak was biting for real! Like your does. Lounging, attacking for no reason-at least to me it appeared for no reason at all. The core issue with Zak was mistrust and that was my fault.

Be sure to offer proper care, be consistent, patient and learn to read his body language. IMO you first need to build trust,and it could take a while, but it is gonna be worth it.

[bran]

hi there... Just breathe! You are going to have a long life with your grey, and it's up to you to have the patience to realize that "rome wasn't built in a day". The advice above was awesome, and I would only ad one thing. Until you get used to your grey's body language... view this http://www.itsagreysworld.com/fun/bodylang.htm this will help you with reading him a little better. Also, I would like you to try an exercise before handling him, take a little walk outside, get some fresh air, and get everything into perspective. Your baby is looking to you to be a strong leader, and any apprehension or anxiety on your part is going to make the bonding process longer and longer and longer. African Greys are the most intuitive and sensitive of the parrot world, and need a little more time than other species. You are not a bad owner... I sometimes think that is the hardest thing to rememeber, and that biting or anything in that nature is not a personal thing towards you. Birds are birds. You'll be fine!!

 

good luck, and please keep us posted!

[Acappella]

Bran makes a good point. The way you approach your bird is important. They are very good at reading body language, facial expressions, and listening to the tone of your voice. There was a point in my relationship with Dorian that I brought an animal behaviourist in because our relationship wasn't progressing. The biggest piece of advice she gave me was about my behaviour, not his. She said I was still approaching his cage tentatively. She told me to "approach his cage as if he is already the bird you want him to be". That, to me, meant to approach him happy to see him, with love and humour, relaxed and confident. There is a difference between a real smile and a "I want you to see I'm smiling but really my body is all tense because I don't really trust you". This isn't about "I'm not afraid of you" dominance towards him. It really did make a difference with Dorian.

[rEsage]

He has never been in a home. I bought him from Parrots of the World, co-owned by Marc Marrone. You may recognize him if googled, he is a bird breeder who owns pet shop and has a few books and is on T.V. and the sorts for animals. Anyway, he gave me the grey and said he was 3months old, but I have posted a picture of my bird and people suggest by his eyes that he could be 6months to a year. Unless some greys eyes change real early on.

 

I don't think Mr. Marc Marrone would be wrong about telling me my greys age, hes been breeding and owning that shop for a LONG time, so could he really be 3 (4 now) months old with eyes that look like this?

 

 

What you posted Acappella sounds like it will help me out a great deal. I appreciate it.

[Sherrie]

Hi rEsage-- 1st and foremost, DONT EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR BIRD! 1st-->as far as age, Im not an expert but to me he does seem a tad bit older than 3-4 mos old...2nd--> at this point I would not allow him on your shoulders- I personally never allow any bird on my shoulder but that is just a personal choice for me.

 

 

The Step up command needs to be administered immed and followed through with forever!!! When he does it--Reward/praise him enthusiastically every time....one thing you could do is have a piece of his favorite food/treat in your other hand while your offering your "step up" hand to him-- as he is reaching for it. slowly pull it up and away from him and this will force him to step up to get it-- when he does it-- give him the food/treat and praise him!! My Greyson not only does the "step up" but he also knows "step down" for when I need for him to get back on his perch.--if you repeatedly(like a broken record) do this it will sink in..in no time at all...

 

Would you Please explain what do you do immed after you have gotten bit? What is your reaction? what do you say to him?

 

It seems as though he has not been taught the boundries with you yet...Only you can set them-- It's not something that he is going to figure out on his own. He is still a young bird and he will take the boundries as far as you will let him- so start reinforcing good behavior NOW!!!!

 

If/when he attempts to bite-- Firmly/sternly tell him "NO,NO BITE!!!!! "BAD BIRD" etc..but say it firmly and mean it!!!!!! 3wks is not nearly enough time to earn your babies' trust. By him wanting to be up on top of his cage..puts him at a higher level than yourself and he may be feeling a bit empowered by that.. find a way to keep him no higher than eye level..whether it be on your arm or on a play tower (does he have one?) The worst thing you could ever do is hit your bird or Yell loudly or sling him off of you--(no matter how bad it hurts)if you have had any of these reactions, you will need to start all over to gain his trust back.

 

Talon and Acappella have great advice as well

 

Greyson is a cuddler (Thank goodness!!) but there are times as well that he doesn't want to be "messed" with and he lets me know that. There are alot of Greys out there that just don't like to be handled so much-- Make sure you're not overcrowding him, just like you, they need their "me" time as well.. When Greyson doesn't want me to get him, he will put his head down for a scratch/rub but that's it, it's leave me alone- I still talk to him and interact with him throughout the day but I do give him space as well. He lets me know when he's ready to be "socialble"....... Pay attention to his body language-- It is so very important that you learn and watch his body language- You can prevent alot of those bites by just watching what he does right before the bite-- He also (probably by now) has learned your body language as well and can sense that you are frustrated with him or stressed with him-- They are clever clever little devils--- but with determination,persistence and positive reinforcement I have no doubt with time you will be the best of friends-- takes time........... and the trust must be EARNED not demanded from a grey---- I hope some of this helps---Good luck but please DONT GIVE UP!!!

[danmcq]

From the photo, your grey is certainly very young in months. When young, they learn manners to an extent from your reactions in sounds they here and your physical ones as well. Those are hard pinches, not nasty bites like an attack would be.

 

Patience, consistency and learning his body language will help you to avoid a hard pinch or bite before they happen. Believe me, body language is your and your greys best friend. It tells more than any verbal language will ever convey in their world. I will say, they do not learn from punishment. They learn to respect you to a point and they also expect you to respect there body language they know exaclty what they indicate. Ignore it and a bite will come.