Suddenly extremely agressive behavior? [long post]

[Roseanna]

Well, we've had Happy for 2 months now. since the first week everything has been a wonderful playful adventure for both her and us (The BF and me)

 

But suddenly about a week ago when i was playing with her, she started to act weird and bit me really hard in a finger. I couldnt find out why, and she continued to bite and bite extremely hard, almost drawing blood. Nothing like a playnip at all. I told her no, and gave har a very stern look maintaining eyecontact for a second or 2.

She did not want to stop so i put her to bed, as it was just 5 minutes before her usual bedtime anyway.

 

The next day she started nicely, it was my BF who took her out of the cage. I Told her goodmorning and gave her a little scratch. No problems.

 

Later in the day when she finished eating her morning meal, it is usually playtime, but when i tried to have her step up on my finger she attacked me! biting and screaming as if i was trying to tear a leg off her or something very dramatic. I went away and tried again a few minutes later, she did the same thing. I left alone. When the BF tried to have her step up she was all happy, whistling and having fun.

 

As soon as I come near she screams and bites, REALLY really hard! Im so sad, as i cant figure out what the heck is wrong with me? I have never done anything to make her behave like this (that i know of?) it just started so suddenly..

 

every day we have to go through all the biting and screaming every single time i pick her up, and she continues for about 1 minute, and then settles down and allow me to touch her, pet her or scratch her.

 

What on earth is wrong with her? Im so confused, and even feel the tears pushing to come out, when she does this aggressive behavior to me. My BF can handle her anytime without problems, except if she has just screamed and bitten me she usually gets a little aggressive towards him too, but that quickly disappears.

 

i cant take her out of the cage without her growling and ruffling her feathers..

 

I do not want her to be this way, but i cant figure out what i have to do to stop it.

 

For your information, i can tell that nothing has changed in our household - absolutely nothing.

[Luvparrots]

I am so sorry to hear about Happy's negative reaction to you. Have you perhaps changed your hair, nail polish color, perfume or something else personally? Of course it might be just that Happy has chosen your BF to be her special person. Perhaps other members will have some other suggestion to help you in this situation. Please be patient and hopefully Happy will calm down toward you.

[Roseanna]

Well.. i got my hair done a month ago - she never acted odd about it, she did not seem to notice it at all, she should have reacted a bit earlier if that was it, right?. I use the same perfume as always, and never wear nail polish. i use the same casual clothing as always. nothing has changed noticeable in any way? well we got a new bed, but she loves to run on it, so cant believe that could have changed her?

[Barbara2]

I certainly hope this is just a phase she is going through. I'm looking forward to the recommendations from those more experienced than myself. Please keep us updated on the progress and good luck to you.

[Roseanna]

I really do hope its just a fase, too. Its really hard to see her behave like this, I never wanted to do her any harm of any sort.

[Barbara2]

The Lilly n Tina thread below this one in this same forum sounds similar to what you are dealing with and I think that their Lilly is close in age to Happy. I also know that a few others have expressed concerns about changes in their birds and thought it might have to do with cyclic changes? shorter days? molting? the holidays? It just seemed odd that everyone, literally all over the world, starting seeing changes at around the same time.

[Dave007]

How old is Happy?

[Barbara2]

I went back and looked at the early posts and figure Happy to be about 5 months old.

[Dave007]

What's happening to you isn't uncommon. Many people who have very young birds haven't yet seen the variety and depths of a young parrot's changing personality. As they get older, they start doing different types of unattractive things which can be unintentionally caused by the owner. People think that the biting problem was their fault. Untrue. You say that you're following a schedule that both you and partner do. I'm referring to taking him out of his cage to step up. You say that your partner has no trouble doing this ( putting hand in cage) but you do. If you're taking him from the inner part of the cage, it may be time to first have him out of the cage which the bird will do. Why you but not him? A bird can develop different ways of dealing with things. Your bird is growing up and he's experiencing new things he can do. At that age, some of those things aren't pleasent. No one can tell you why it's happening but at that age, there's definitely gonna be changes happening. Next month it may be your partner who gets bitten. There's gonna be many other changes that'll happen because of his age and those changes won't have anything to do with biting.

***I went away and tried again a few minutes later, she did the same thing.***

Go away for more than a few minutes, hang around and watch to see if his interest and curiousity in you changes. Let him show that he want's to be held. After a while, some greys don't like being petted as they get older. You'll find that your grey will be much less cuddlier as it ages which is it's natural personality. Many people buy greys not knowing that the wonderful time they had with the baby grey will change. Greys are aloof, many times they wanna be left alone. They're the type of parrot that will entertain itself with no oudside coaxing. At one point, greys especially, will act differently towards different members of the family. I'll give you an example here using my own birds --all adults.

I have a grey who will fly over to me while I'm watching TV , he'll get deep into my lap and want his head and neck rubbed. I do it and when I try to go to another part of his body, he'll show his annoyance by biting. The same bird will go over to my wife and want her to rubb other parts of him but if she tries the neck and head, he'll do the same thing. Why? I can't answer that but I can tell you that once upon a time years ago that type of thing never happened.

My timneh--he loves sherbet. If I have a bowl of it in my lap, he won't eat it, tries to push the bowl away and if I push it closer and closer, he'll bite me. If I give that same bowl to my wife, he'll try to eat the contents of the bowl. If she pulls the bowl away, he'll chase the bowl to get more and if he doesn't, he gets into a bad mood. Why this happens? I can't answer that either.

Right now, you won't be able to change a bird's natural habits except by suggestions that begin with perches, treats, soft talking, etc. It may or may not work but right now, his new likes and dislikes have to be respected without a person forcing the bird to do something that he no longer finds attractive. Put no time limits concerning the possible reverse changes because it may not happen.

Many people here who have young birds are gonna be very surprised at the personality change that'll happen as the grey gets old. An adult grey is definitely not *a cuddley* parrot as it grows. That's why there's a permanent thread on the board concerning body language

Edited December 1, 2010 by Dave007

[Acappella]

It's important you try not to take these changes personally. Think of a human baby. They also go through phases, all of a sudden only wanting one parent, suddenly shy, etc . . . If he won't come out of the cage for you, try what Dave suggested and try stepping him up once he's outside the cage. If you ask him for a step-up and he makes it clear he's going to bite, just tell him 'ok' and walk away. Then do something REALLY interesting in his view, like play with a toy, for a good while, at least a few minutes. Then go back to the cage and ask him again if he'd like to step-up. If you get the same reaction, again, don't show upset, just walk away and go on with whatevery you're doing. This really worked with my Dorian, but it took a while. Eventually his desire to be part of his flocks' activities got the better of him and he decided it was better to leave his cage and come with me than be left behind. It will get better, promise. <3

[Talon]

All great advice!! Personally, I would STOP wearing the perfume around your bird. Their lungs are very sensitive to odors, and she may not like the smell she inhales when she is near you. Perhaps she wants to be near you, but at first is telling you she doesn't like it, then when she realizes she can't change it or she has finished her little tantrum in trying to tell you this, she calms and has to accept what she can't change.

 

Just a thought from my perspective......

[Roseanna]

Thank you all for your answers, i will stop taking her moodswings personally. I just started so sudden I thought maybe i had done something terrible, that she would be angry or scared by me over something.

 

I will now just turn away and try get her attention otherwise. I really hope it will get better in time.

[Jane08]

Don't worry it will get better and it won't be the last phase she goes through. It's also hard when we first get our birds and want to make sure they are happy and we want to spend as much time with them as we can, picking them up, touching them. We forget that they might not want the same thing and when they try and tell us we don't listen so they bite and then we get upset.

 

I found this out at a very early stage with our 2 and I had to really restrain myself from overdoing it and being all over them. I learnt that Rangi liked sitting in the kitchen by himself for periods of time just talking and he wanted to be alone. It took all my will power not to go in and try and interact with him. I also learnt that if I want to do something with them I have to ask first,even with step up I go over and ask them if they want to step up. I then look for the body language for the answer and if it's no I just walk away. I think it's more of a friendship that you build with them respecting each others wishes and once you learn to read them it is really easy to know what they want or don't want. Good luck.

[Dave007]

I believe it will change. At that age greys are extremely willful. They get a toy, check it out and then procide to destroy it. Give them a bell and they'll fight with it, get bruises and then decide to snuggle with it at sleep time. Oh, by the way, if you haven't gotten one yet, it would be a good thing to get a heavy duty cowbell for your bird. They will expend lots of enrgy trying to knock it here to eternity. Your bird is doing exactly what so many others do. I'll give another example of a young sweet grey--for the longest time, people will kiss their birds on the bird and give off sweet sounds. Then one day, the person goes over to the bird under the exact same conditions, kisses the bird the same way as always and BANG, the bird puts a hole right through the person's lip. Was it the person's fault? The person was only being kind but the bird has now discovered an area that's soft and very bitable. So at the time, the person realizes that the beak kissing time of life is now finished. When you get a chance, read Body Language here and you'll be amazed at the things you'll soon recognize. Sometimes, a person just needs to walk away from a bird who's being ornery. I won't say aggressive because your bird isn't being aggressive in the way you would think. Right now, biting is appealing but I'm sure that if you take the time, give him space, ignore him but eat or play with things that he can see from a distance, you'll see a very curious bird who doesn't like being kept out of the loop. Try out almonds. That p[eaks their interest. At first, just put in one of the food dishes. Crack it have way and let him do the work. Eventually, he'll want that treat from your hand. Ever hear the saying. **I won't bite the hand that feeds me?**

[Azzie]

After having Happy for 2 months, it sounds like the honeymoon period is over. Baby birds' personalities DO change, as others have said. They turn from pliable, malleable sweet cuddly little things into birds that are discovering they DO have a will of their own. That, combined with their voice and beak, can make them a powerful force to be reckoned with. It isn't your fault. Heck it's not even the bird's fault. It's just the way things are, a natural progression in the development of a bird.

 

My Cleo turns 2 this month, and she has turned into the most impossible and willful creature ever. She will interact with me, but definitely only on her terms. If I try something she doesn't want, she will either run or fly away, or grab my finger and push it away. I've been told this is normal behaviour for a bird of that age.

 

Dave, as usual, gives excellent advice. The bit about a bird who doesn't like being kept out of the loop is so true. Cleo won't step up or come over, I'll just start playing with something, even a pen, and she will be over in a flash to check out what I'm doing. Use their greed (food!) and curiosity to your advantage.

[danmcq]

But suddenly about a week ago when i was playing with her, she started to act weird and bit me really hard in a finger. I couldnt find out why, and she continued to bite and bite extremely hard, almost drawing blood. Nothing like a playnip at all. I told her no, and gave har a very stern look maintaining eyecontact for a second or 2.

She did not want to stop so i put her to bed, as it was just 5 minutes before her usual bedtime anyway.

 

The others have all given great thoughts and advice.

 

Something in this play session it seems caused this. It is always hard to determine exactly what (As Dave describes), a move you made, look, sound etc. but she evidently did not like it one bit and went into a mode of letting you know that it was not "Fair Play". This will pass and you just need to maintian your usual routines with her and try to always remain calm, talk in soothing and happy sounds. As Dave mentioned, please go read the body language thread so you know when to stop before you infringe in her space and get bit.

 

It seems your BF has become the preferred person for the more personal requests of step ups and interaction right now. It will take some time, but you and her will get back on an understood level of interaction that you will need to come to understand and respect.

[Birdnut]

All very good advice, which I am also taking to heart.

 

I am learning that it is good to allow a parrot as much dominion over their own life as possible and as many opportunities as possible to make choices for themselves.

[Cheshire Cat]

I noticed that my Tui started getting viscious when my friend was sleeping over. It was someone new in the room who she didn't know. Tui actually bit me and drew blood which is SO unlike her! She'll go to try and bite when I tease her, but she's never actually nasty. I think if something is different or someone new is around that can affect their behaviour.