HELP Needed - Is this Grey for ME? My family?

[MyGrey-Gary]

I REALLY need some opinions here.......so I REALLY hope - for the sake of the Grey and for my family, someone gives me some advice!

 

So I've really been wanting a Grey for a long time. I've read forums, articles, seen training videos, etc.

 

I went to meet my prospect Grey yesterday. He was beautiful. Which after a while of visiting him with the owners - I'm surprised he's not a plucker!

 

I'm just going to call him Mr. Grey for now...

 

I was planning to purchase a baby Grey so I could hand feed (him or her) and make sure (he) would know the entire family. AND hope that he would be friendly to the entire family. Now I do understand that he would most likely become friendlier with one particular family member - hopefully ME

 

Now here's my dilemma...... AND I REALLY need some opinions here. (PLEASE)......

 

Of course Mr. Grey was not friendly to me when I meet him yesterday - matter of fact - he bit me kinda hard - no blood... no big deal. I expected and did not push for him to step up on me. But I let the owner push me a bit and that's when Mr. Grey bit me. I wasn't mad.....and like I said - I expected it.

 

 

Anyway - Mr. Grey is abused - The wife hit him while we were there... and we were really in shock -thinking - "did that just happen"? Mr. Grey bit her and she slapped him and it seemed REALLY hard. I'm surprised that Mr. Grey didn't fall over..... Her face was red and you can tell she was really angry. She also informed us that "when he gets too loud and won't shut up, she squirts him with a water bottle". Now I'm thinking - oh boy...

 

The guy also seems pretty rough with Mr. Grey but you can tell he really loves Mr. Grey. But he's just not nice to him either. When Mr. Grey isn't looking... the guy will just go to rub his tail feathers and I could see that Mr. Grey was upset and just ticked off. When they guy attempted to pick up Mr. Grey - he would bit him. But the guy wouldn't stop until Mr. Grey stepped up.

 

Now - we really feel like we would be rescuing Mr. Grey (which is 2.5 years hold) and they have owned him for about 2 years now. But I'm afraid that Mr. Grey is just going to be mean because there is no way that he can trust a human the way he gets treated.

 

I'm expecting 1-2 months of Mr. Grey being mean but can we rehabilitate him? can we make him nice with showing him love? or will he just be a mean Mr. Grey forever?

 

Do you think we should get him? try to do some clicker training with him? and once he knows what that is - potty train him..... and hopefully by then - he will be nicer? Of course I know he may still bite every so often - especially if we do not pay attention to his mood......but over all - do you think he could be a part of our family and love us?

 

Here's the other part - our family - my wife, my 17 yr son and myself. We also have 2 black labs (14yr old and a 2 yr old) and a very friendly cat that lays upside down for everyone to pet her (including the dogs). They all play together and get along great. but will that be all too much for Mr. Grey? OR ANY Grey for that matter?

 

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Please comment - we just want to be a GREAT family for Mr. Grey or another Grey....

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Thank you!

[judygram]

Please rescue this grey if you think you can handle dealing with the baggage that comes with a rehomed grey for this poor bird should not be subjected to such mistreatment, if I had been there in your place I might have slapped the owner myself for no animal should be treated that way.

The bird is not mean, it is just trying to get his point across that he doesn't like being treated that way and yes it means you would have your work cut out for you but many times when a grey comes from such a home they turn out to be a really sweet bird and yes all birds will bite from time to time but this one is trying to tell his owner he doesn't like it but the owner seems to have an attitude that the bird will do what he says or else.

If you are willing to take the time to give this bird what it needs and be very patient with it then by all means do it, taking on this one instead of getting a baby grey will be a harder road to travel but one well worth it if you decide to go this path. Consider it long and hard before committing to it but if you really want a grey then go for it.

[Georgiesmum]

I hope this grey has a happy ending

[Karcar]

The bird is still very young and therefore you should have a better chance of turning things around. It will take time , love and patience but it can be done. I just rescued a 7 year old bird that lived under a blanket all day she cage was never uncover to keep her quite, she was scared of the dogs. She now gets out on the play stand talks up storm and just yesterday flew down almost right on top of my sleeping dog and just stepped over her legs and in passing said"Hello Boo" my dog's name is Maggie but that's OK she can call her Boo...LOL...Please think about getting that bird out of that horrible environment he WILL have baggage but there is not a better feeling in the world than to know you have saved him from a life of what sounds like hell.

[MyGrey-Gary]

Thanks for the Replies! We just needed some words of encouragement. And believe me - we BOTH wanted to slap that women but out of shock and fear we would get kicked out - and the grey would have suffered for it (having to stay there), we didn't. So here's the other thing - I have to wait to either late Sunday to pick up MY Grey - or until next Friday. We will be out of town this weekend and get back on Sunday. I would love to start off on the right foot and pick up Mr. Grey on (Next) Friday - this way we have all weekend to bond and start off on the right foot. I'm afraid if I pick him up on Sunday and having to go to work on Monday - it's not starting off very good. ON THE OTHER HAND - We were reconsidering since we really want to get Mr. Grey outta there ASAP. I was planning to go over there today to visit with Mr. Grey and then again next week - if we didn't pick him up on Sunday.

 

So would it be better to visit with him in that house? or just pick him up when we are ready for him? I do not want him to associate me with those people! but I would like for him to get to know me before I bring him home.

 

Just to reiterate on the questions - since I'm so long winded

 

1.) Should we pick Mr. Grey up ASAP - on Sunday and spend Sunday with him and keep him in his (VERY LARGE cage) until we get home from work on Monday? OR do we pick him up on (next) Friday when we can spend Friday and ALL weekend giving him attention?

 

2.) If I do wait to pick him up next Friday - do I go over there to visit with him and have him try to get used to me? or do I just wait to pick him up?

 

 

I REALLY want the best for him. I'm sure moving homes - even though he's hit the "Birdy jackpot" with us, will still be a trauma experience with unfamiliar surroundings - the good thing is he is coming in his own cage - so that will be hopefully easier on him. So do you think it's best for Mr. Grey that I pick him up on Sunday (ASAP) or wait until Friday when we have time to spend with him?

 

Thanks again for all the great advice. I can't wait to give him a GREAT home and life.

 

as you can see by reading all this - Either way - We are bringing him home with us. The question now is when and visiting him if we wait until next Friday....

 

 

Oh yea... BTW - you will find out what we decided and how Mr. Grey does thought the course of our lives. I plan to be here a long time and ask for plenty advice

 

One last thing - would it be cruel or difficult if we wanted to change his name? or should I just go with his current name and not even consider it? (remember he's about 2.5 years old). I'm thinking it's a bit late to try to change his name.

 

Thanks again.

Edited November 16, 2010 by MyGrey-Gary
more comments...

[Barbara2]

I'm far from an expert but if I knew right now that this bird was soon to be my bird, I would want him out of that toxic environment as soon as possible. It is good in the beginning to give a rehomed bird some space anyway. I think he will be happier alone in his cage in your home than living with people who are not good for him. Just my two cents.

[Georgiesmum]

Yea i would tend to agree with barbara

[MyGrey-Gary]

Well you do make great sense. And who knows what goes on while I'm not there. So the decision is made - we are picking him up on Sunday as soon as we get home. I do wish that I could pick him up tonight - but I just can't - unfortunately. I'll be glad to keep everyone updated on the situation. I'll have to figure out where to post - I want to make sure I'm posting to the correct room.

 

Thanks again for everyone's comments.

[Barbara2]

When you get him home (or even before) start up a new thread in the Rescue Room or The Grey Lounge. That way you can keep it going and we will always know where to go look. I really love to read the stories on everyone's birds!

 

ETA: Actually I think The Grey Lounge will be the best.

[Karcar]

So glad you decided to take the bird, Congrats!!! You won't regret it. Praying all goes well.

Karen

[animalINSPIRED]

Congrats on the new bird. Picking him up asap sounds like it'll be best for him. As far as renaming, I probably would in your situation. Most likely he assosciates his name with something bad (i.e. "Shut up Mr. Grey >gets squirted with water<). He also is still young and will probably figure it out pretty quick. Moving in with you is a new beginning for him, and a new name seems fitting.

[katana600]

My heart breaks at the thought that anyone would even neglect one of these beautiful creatures, or be pushy and rude with a bird, much less striking him. These greys are very intelligent beings, I am guessing that even with baggage, in a relatively short time he will know he is in good hands with people who have hearts and souls, just like he does. I also agree with Barbara, to bring him home as soon as you are ready, not to wait for the perfect time. When he experiences a gentle, accepting home, a few days alone will be a blessing to him. As for the name, you can talk to him and get to know him and who knows, he may have a good name in mind and just be the one to tell you! LOL. Whatever you call him in the meantime, the time spent learning his body language and his tolerance levels will pay you back exponentially.

[Acappella]

A rescue is a long slow road, but it's sooooooooo worth it, and there are many kind, knowledgeable and supportive people here to help you and your new flock member over the bumps in the road. I vote yes on the name change. When you're deciding on where to put the cage, put it somewhere he can watch the going's on of the household but not feel vulnerable. Against at least one wall is always a good idea. Also, somewhere he can get 10-12 hours of quiet and dark You won't want to be forcing a step-up to move him from one cage to a separate sleep cage. If you're going to be leaving him alone while you're at work, where will the dogs be? If he's not used to dogs you don't want them to do something that will make him scared of them i.e.barking loudly, while you're not there to reassure him. Leave some soothing music on playing quietly and let him have a few hours to look around and start to feel safe.

 

I understand your eagerness to jump right into training so he can truly participate in your family life, but if you attempt to rush him you run the risk of making him feel like you are trying to impose your will on him the way his current owners do, even though your heart and motives are pure. How fast he progresses is basically down to how resilient his personality is. To give you an idea, my Dorian lived in a pet store for four years before he adopted me. Some birds do ok in that environment but not, traditionally greys, and especially not Dorian. He is way off on the fearful end of the personality scale and the contant coming and going in the store with people poking at him turned a bird who was fearful by nature into a huge chicken, extremely cage defensive and scared of everything, especially hands. It took months of me leaving the cage door open every day before he so much as poked his head outside the door. It took more than two years before he would step onto my hand and let me carry him to another room. Just in the last 6 months, after I'd had him 3 1/2 years, he's started sitting on a play stand in my room or wanting to come with me when I leave the room. I'm not saying this will be your story. I believe Dorian is an extremely cautious personality even for a grey. I've had my times of tears when I've been frustrated because all I was ever trying to do was make his life better. I'm sure you'll have those moments too. Whenever you do, just remember seeing him being hit, and know that even if it takes him a while to realize it, Mr. Grey has indeed hit the birdie jackpot.

[MyGrey-Gary]

Thank you Acappella - Thank you all.... Believe me when I say - I will be asking for advice. I've already picked out a corner in the family room where everyone hangs out. I don't want to put him in a room that we just don't go in very often. It's in a corner away from the main traffic area. This way he doesn't feel like everyone is just passing right by him. He will have 8 hours a night during the week of dark quietness while we sleep during the week (maybe 9 on the weekends). And during the day - the dogs (one is 13yr black lab and the other is a 3yr black lab) just sleep during the day while we are gone. I work from home sometimes and that's all they do during the day when I'm here as well. Glad you mentioned the music. I'll have to put on some classical music before I leave so he has something to relax to. We are going to rename him (his current real name is Gary) Paco or at least something that doesn't even sound like Gary. As far as training - I'm actually going to take your advice on opening the cage and let him get comfortable with going out by himself. The only thing is - once that happens - hopefully he will either go back into his cage or he will at least step up onto a stick for me so I can get him back in. Probably nothing to worry about right now. I really hope it doesn't take that long for him to get comfortable with us or just me.....but if it does... then it does. I do know it will be worth it once he trusts everyone here.

 

On a side note - when I joined the forum... My username includes the birds current name.... I'm going to have to see if I can have an admin change that or create a new one. After I realize what we will rename Gary.

[Barbara2]

I know what you mean about black labs sleeping all day. The only thing different is for some reason our black lab goes nuts when our birds flap their wings! Our little Senegal sometimes flaps like hes going to fly away but he's on his perch. The lab will rush the cage and stand there and bark at him. No matter how many times we tell him "NO!", he still barks when the bird flaps. I just thought I would point that out because it might be a possibility.

[danmcq]

It's GreYt that you have decided to rescue this mistreated Grey. I would like to go slap those people around a little. Anyway, the others have given great advice and the sooner you get him to oyr home the better.

 

All creatures respond to love and patience., They know when your sincere and it will just take a little while for him to trust a human in an up close and personal way. One question, is he flighted? If so, I would not let him out of the cage until he is comfortable in the new home and with all the occupants. having to catch a flighted bird by toweling is a high anxiety experience for the bird and the people. It would create a hostile environment in this new Greys mind if that happened before he trust you.

[Greywings]

I think this step into a new beginning for you both will pay off with a slow patient approach. The fact that you have limited bonding time after you bring him home may be for the best it will give him time to look about and get used to his new surroundings prior to studying his new human family. Can't wait to hear your stories as he blossoms in you care-hint-pictures would be welcome as well.

[MyGrey-Gary]

I will certainly post updates and photos. Here's the current owners photos that he posted. and I'm also going to have to work on Mr. Grey's diet. He eats table scraps and has been given beer and coffee. Yes...... I know - which is why I was so surprised he actually looked in such great shape - great color. He has flown - A LONG WAY - but he's currently clipped. The owner was telling me that the bird was outside with a harness but he still got away. He flew away (about 6-9 miles) and was found by someone who checked Craig's list and returned the bird to the current owner. Apparently Mr. Grey also has been taught some bad habits - The guy (even thought I thing he's kinda mean and rough on Mr. Grey) has allowed him to sit on his shoulder at the dinner table. And when Mr. Grey wants some food off his plate - he goes downs, grabs it and then climbs back up and his shoulder. I certainly do not plan to allow Mr. Grey at the dinner table while we are eating to just land in the middle of anyone's plate. (he told me a story about when his daughter was eating nachos and Mr. Grey landed right in the middle - got cheese all over himself...etc). He told me he feeds him steak, chicken, and just about anything he will get. Now the wife is the one that REALLY treats Mr. Grey bad - (not going to tell the stories again). But she owns an umbrella cockatoo (bongo) - which ironically she rescued. Now - she is also trying to sell that bird BUT the good news is they seems to treat that bird VERY well. She is selling him as well with cage - $400. If someone in the St. Louis, MO area is interested, please let me know. here's some photos and He has no chest feathers - which is from before the rescue. He's a very loving bird and she said he requires a LOT of love and attention or he gets upset. In the second pic, you can see Mr. Grey to the right. They are also wanting to sell their male black lab - I think he's about 3 - he was very well trained and mannered. He was VERY cool - my wife wanted to take him home as well but we can't handle 3 black labs in the house.

 

Anyway - I'm VERY excited to get Mr. Grey home and settled in. Wish I could pick him up yesterday..... but I have to wait until Sunday so a friend of my son can go over there with us to pick up the cage. No way it would fit in my car.

[KimKim]

Wow, I just saw this... Thank you for adopting Mr Grey instead of buying a baby. It might be tough but like mentioned before very rewarding. It is so sad when we hear of abuse stories on any animal, but a small fragile bird! Sad.. I look forward to hearing how things go once he his settled in. Thanks agin.

How did you find out about this grey anyway?

[MyGrey-Gary]

Hello..... one last post here before I move on to the Grey Lounge...

 

SO Gary - (which we are thinking of calling him Max and we better do it soon or keep Gary), arrived at about 5pm. Got him all settled in... Came in an relaxing environment. (after the previous owner left). That's a story in itself... ANyway, Seems kinda strange but about just an hour ago - Gary flew out of his cage and landed on the coffee table (just a foot or two away). I had him step up onto my hand... I went to put him onto of the cage - play area, but he didn't step down. so I went to scratch his head but I could tell he didn't want me to, so I stopped. I held him for a couple of minutes and he was just looking around. Then I put him back in his cage and had him step up to his perch.

 

SO the night seems like it ended pretty good...... we put a dark sheet over his cage and hopefully he's sleeping by now. Earlier, Gary seemed pretty comfortable. He was on one leg and making that chatter noise with his beak. He was on the back side of the cage but when I broke out the camera, he came out to the front. Seemed to know what that was. And so I've got a couple of photos for everyone to see.

 

Next post will be in the Lounge.

 

(if anyone was wondering - the owner dropped him off. He didn't re-clip Gary's wings so I may have to do it in the next couple of weeks. He was showing me how he did it and was just really rough. He was holding Gary's wing out and wouldn't let go. We (My wife and I) were like - Okay... I see.. and he just seemed like he's always gotta be the one in total control of Gary. I'm sure Gary won't miss that. He was trying to get Gary to do some stuff.. and Gary would just bit at him. Strange love,hate relationship with Gary.

 

So here's a couple of photos of Gary.... which we are thinking we may just continue to call him Gary - Just really unsure at the moment. I'm not sure if he likes it here and would be happy with Gary - or if we should do the name change.

 

Oh by the way KimKim, I found him listed on Craig's List.

 

Let me know what you guys think of our new family addition...

 

 

[Barbara2]

He is gorgeous! As to his name, it may be up to him. I wish Jay were here. He had a great story about his rescue. Jay didn't know the history and so he and his wife named the bird "Jim". "Jim" had a lot of baggage and they had to work with him alot. Out of the blue one day their grey said, "I'm not Jim. I'm Joey!" He was rather insistent so they respected his desires and started calling him Joey.

[Luvparrots]

He certainly is a fine looking grey. I can't wait to hear more about him and hear what you decide to call him.

[danmcq]

It sounds like things went very well with Gray coming home. The photos are great and he is a very good looking grey.

 

Thanks for sharing this with us.

[MyGrey-Gary]

Thanks everyone! I have to tell ya - The previous owner was giving me some "advice". I told my wife once he was gone - no way I'm listening to most of what he says - if we have questions, we ask my mom or the Grey Forum. He was giving me this crap about making sure I let Gary know I'm boss - making sure he doesn't get above my eye level... not to put up the purchase above his cage cause it's too high and Gary will think he dominates over me... This was info his wife read in a book.... so it wasn't just something he made up.

 

I was also aggravated last night when he brought him over. He had Gary in a kitty carry cage and it was rather cool outside and I wanted him to go into the house rather quick... He also said he usually cleans the cage about every two months and it had been two months..... I had him take Gary inside and I broke out the hose to clean out the cage. Got it pretty clean and dried - then we took it in.

 

Anyway - Gary (for now - unless he wants to be called something different) is in a safe loving home. I spent about 10 min with him this morning before I had to go to work. My wife also spent about 10 min with him as well... We just hope to gain his trust and have him love us soon. He did do a step up to me when he landed on the coffee table. But all of us have some trusting to do. We were afraid he would bite us and I'm sure he's afraid we might hit him or something. But he will soon see he has hit the "birdy jackpot".

 

see you all in the Grey Lounge. And I'll make sure the next photos I post are not so huge.

[Greywings]

A very handsome bird! I think you are both lucky.