my bird is having an affair with my neighbour

[twizzle]

We have had our 3 year old grey for just over a month now and he still aint 100% with us. He has started to let us stroke his head when he feels like it. Our neighbour was over last nigh and we opened he cage as we normally do in the evening (he dont normally come out) and he came out to our neighbour who was saying hello. john comes over often and says hello o twizzle every time he is here. He let my neighbour stroke him all over and even played a game with him. He was so happy he started regurgitating for the neighbour. He has let me stroke him this morning but nothing compared to what he let john last night. Should i break this relationship up before i goes too far and before i get too jelouse.

Edited November 14, 2010 by twizzle
explanaion of age

[judygram]

No don't stop the relationship as it is good that someone else gets special treatment from your grey and they do pick their favorites and he obviously has chosen your neighbor but do caution your neighbor to not pet him down his back, under the wings or anywhere around the tail area as those are the erogenous zones and should be avoided to further excite your grey sexually and he could turn nippy toward him if he suddenly stops. Best to just tell him "No thanks" when he shows the signs and walk away for a few minutes.

[twizzle]

Thanks for your advice. Since he last post i have had my father-out-law here and he was the same with him. I think it might be the glassers?

[judygram]

Thanks for your advice. Since he last post i have had my father-out-law here and he was the same with him. I think it might be the glassers?

 

Don't think I didn't notice the out law for I did but I won't ask if you don't tell!

It could be if both of them wear glasses, you will have to bring in another unsuspecting person wearing glasses to find out.

 

[twizzle]

i am sure my kids have got some glasses somewhere without he lenses from he 3d toy story. Ill have to do my buddy holly impression and see if he likes me then.

[Xtreme575]

Twizzle, I'm joining you. I had a friend over that Paco has known since he was 4 months old. The two haven't really hit it off, and have spent the last year and a half avoiding one another. Wasn't I heartbroken this weekend to see Paco being all friendly and offering kisses to Jason when all I got were nips and bites!

[twizzle]

Twizzle hasnt really been particullarly tame since i got him as the old man never used to let him out but i was up for the challenge and have tried every day since (over a montrh) trying to offer him treats and little strokes and noften ends in me being bite. John the neighbour and the father in law have had more affection and interaction in one day than i have had in a month. I paid for him and pay for all his treats. Its not fair. Boo Hoo

[twizzle]

its not the glasses i put some on and tried to stroke him then. He takes food off me fine even with the cage door open but wont let me touch him.

[judygram]

I paid for him and pay for all his treats. Its not fair. Boo Hoo

 

No it doesn't seem fair but it is the way it is with some greys, you just have to work harder and be extra nice to him to get a measly little amount of affection but don't take it personally for you are in the early stages yet, give it lots of time and be patient and see what happens.

[twizzle]

thanks for the advise i WILL keep trying

[Guest]

My Grey didn't regurgitate for me for a good six months or so, and even then it was late at night after she was half-comatose and woke up to me scratching her. But in the first months she simply bit the hell out of me and growled and carried on very meanly. Hang on - baby steps and slow reassurance that you do love him - he'll come 'round, most likely, if you are patient and consistent.

[twizzle]

i am happy to be patient i am over the moon i finally got a grey i just found it strange he hardly sees the inlaws and neighbours but he seems closer to them than me.

[Xtreme575]

The others are right, just carry on, parrot time is slow and painful. Keep up with the patience... It'll happen.

[katana600]

It is hard to be the support person and not even get the affection from your little fellow. It will come though. My poor husband was the odd man out and the glasses I recommended were wine glasses after we put the lil' stinkers to bed.

[twizzle]

thanks for all your replies. complicated little thing aint they.

[MyGrey-Gary]

so the only place you should pet your grey is around the head, chest and feet? I better know this so I can use it in about 1-2 months when Mr. Grey even thinks I can pet him!

Edited November 18, 2010 by MyGrey-Gary

[twizzle]

Hi we have now had him 3 months and still no better. i want to get him out the cag but all he does is bite. My dad has bought a timnea grey who is 25v and been in his cage all his life but is out and being friendly after 2 weeks. Is my bird messed up i spend endless hours singing feeding and now dancing for him but he dont like any of us. HELP

[Birdnut]

Wow. I don't know what to say. Others more knowledgeable will give good advice, I'm sure.

 

I can only say that 3 months is actually not a very long time, as these things go. I know it feels like forever to you.

[twizzle]

i have spent all day online and have worked out he is scared of us. he shakes and bites and lunges when we go near him. He likes and trusts the father in law for some reason. I am in touch with a behaviourist (finally found one) so will keep you posted

[Morana]

Thanks for your advice. Since he last post i have had my father-out-law here and he was the same with him. I think it might be the glassers?

 

It's a man thing ;-) Maby your grey just likes men better?

[twizzle]

he is the same with the mrs. he is sad he just sits on his perch and dosnt really move compared to other greys i have seen

[BenzMama]

How much do you know of his background & prior conditions? We currently have a grey we are fostering who still has problems from his previous home. It's been just over 4 months & progress is SO slow due to his mistrust. In all things, be gentle ~ voice & movements. Greys can pick up on the slightest bit of anxiety or frustration, even if you are not aware you're feeling any.

[Big_Squishy]

I really hope this does not come out wrong, but might it be a dominance related thing, besides the fact that you and Twizzle are still rather new to each other? I think posture, your ability to hide your fear of being bitten, you level of patience and a certain level of persistence and insistence are all things I have learned have to find a balance.

I frequent two major bird stores here in San Diego and I like to go there just to see the other birds. I am by no means well eduicated like Dave, Judy and several of our other top members here, however I feel pretty comfortable attempting to handle most any bird. Out of the 40 to 50 birds in our closest bird store I have found only 2 or 3 that I can not get to let me hold them and pet them to some degree. Even some that have been rescued and are known biters. I am afraid to get bitten but you wouldn't know unless I told you, I am pretty good at hiding it. Another thing that may make a differance is how you hold yourself while attempting to pet Twizzle. Are your fingers all close togeather, fanned out where your fingers are not all pointing the same direction? From what direction you you try to pet Twizzle?

When BoBo hasen't let my wife pet him full on with her hand I have her hold him with her non dominant hand and with a loose but not baggy long sleeved shirt on (gives you a little protection) I tell her to keep her fingers close togeather semi cupped and with BoBo held close to her body used the forarm to lightly pet his head bringing her arm around as if she were going to hug him, arm higher than his tail but lower than his head to start. He may bite at it alittle but after a second BoBo seemed to accept this a little easier and after some time he would allow my wife to pet his head with her hand. I have tried this with out neighbors and even our 7 year old son and have gotten reasonable results.

Just some food for thought, I have no idea if it will work for you but seems worth a try.

[twizzle]

Thanks for the replies. Since i was last on here he has gone off john and taken a liking to my father in law in a big way. I am getting soooo jelouse. I am confused he only likes one person at a time. I am quite concerned as he dosnt want to come out anymore. I am in contact with a local behaviourist so hope to get somewhere soon. I have also since got a baby timneh which he seems interested in but still wont come out to see him.

[Yogi Birda]

I was a temporary foster mom for an older DYH Amazon a few years ago. The behaviour was much the same as your Twizzle. I started by moving the cage over by my chair while watching TV or reading and just leaving the cage door open. I'd put a few little snacks on a plate (a grape, piece of cheese, some nuts) on a plate on the arm of the chair and then just ignore Mickey. Curiosity won out and he would come out and climb over onto the chair arm and grab a snack and go back. After a week or so of this I would hold a treat up for him and he would take it from me and go back, another week or so and he was climbing onto the arm of the chair and sitting comfortably next to me. Finally I put my hand out for him to step up and he took the plunge. I knew it was going to be difficult as Mickey was not fond of women and had bitten my friend's wife quite severely (hence his needing to be re homed). He had been an only bird, and it was "just the guys" for years. When my friend married Mickey took an instant dislike to his wife. Mickey and I got along well for the time he was with me and now has two new "Daddies" that he is very happy with. It just takes time!! You'll win him over.