Rehomer wants to potentially visit rehomed grey.... REALLY?

[FirstPenguin]

So in our search for greyness we've decided that our current situation may dictate that a baby from a breeder but we still keep an eye out for rehomes. One in particular responded after we had given up on finding a rehome. This person was out of the area and had a healthy well take care of grey. She wanted updates about the bird if I adopted it. She didn't know at that point how far away I was. When I mentioned where I'd be come from this was her response.

 

You guys are by far the best possible home I've come across. BUT I was really hoping to find someone local. The only reason I'm having to rehome him is because my roommate is a dog trainer and our current "crew" are more high energy than the dogs he is used to. Unfortunately, no matter where in the house his cage is, the dog stress him out. I don't think this is fair to him so I'm trying to find him a new home. He's my baby and I've had him since he was little so I really don't want to. That's why local is such an important thing for me. If he's close by I can visit...

Sorry

 

I responded by saying the obvious issues of bonding etc. Selfish thinking like this makes my blood boil, had to vent. Thanks for reading.

[Karcar]

Maybe it's for the best, her "visits" as she called them could have turned into dictatorship of how you are caring for what would then be YOU'RE bird. Keep looking after my recent re-home I am 100 percent in favor of a re-homed bird my Sadie is one fantastic bird!! Even if I so myself...LOL

[FirstPenguin]

Yeah that's a good point, besides it undermining bonding with a fid. We are of the moral standing that rehoming is the better thing to do but are worried about our current fid being smaller and around a bird with unpredictable baggage.

 

The rehomer in question also wanted first dibs if we ever rehomed the bird. So in a perfect world she wants to rent the bird out till it's convenient for her to reclaim him.

Edited November 11, 2010 by FirstPenguin

[Ray P]

For me the hardest thing in the world be to rehome my birds. I would want to make sure that they went to the best home I could find and that could mean a home visit.

Some rescues require a home visit along with after placement visits to see how the bird is doing.

And sometimes a bird will end up back in ressue.

I don`t think it`s wrong to want whats best for your bird and I think this person must love that bird to care.

[judygram]

Sometimes it is not the best thing for a former owner to visit a bird that has been rehomed, it can be confusing to the bird and no one wants that, if a person is giving up their bird they must relinguish all rights to such bird, if they love it enough they will give it up to someone who will give it the love and care they would have given if they could have.

[FirstPenguin]

For me the hardest thing in the world be to rehome my birds. I would want to make sure that they went to the best home I could find and that could mean a home visit.

Some rescues require a home visit along with after placement visits to see how the bird is doing.

And sometimes a bird will end up back in ressue.

I don`t think it`s wrong to want whats best for your bird and I think this person must love that bird to care.

 

You're completely right, but trust me based on the language this person was using that wasn't her primary concern. She wanted to have her cake and eat it too. She wants to keep her current living situation and then be able to stop in when she likes for a bird fix. A rescue home visit is different because usually the person visiting isn't bonded to the bird. There is a sliding scale between what a rehome and a rescue bird is in my mind, depending on how many issues, or how much personal baggage a bird comes with. This bird is clearly a well socialized, adaptable rehome. This girl is just plain selfish. Anyone who knows two licks about parrots or greys knows that what she's proposing is not in the best interest of the bird.

Edited November 11, 2010 by FirstPenguin

[judygram]

Anyone who knows two licks about parrots or greys knows that what she's proposing is not in the best interest of the bird.

 

By jove I think you got it!

[Ray P]

My apologies for the post

[katana600]

Ray, I think we are talking about two different things here. As you say, if I were in the unfathomable position where I had to rehome a faithful companion, I would absolutely want to do a home visit, make sure the new home was a good fit etc., but I think this person wants to not only see the bird placed, but wants visitation rights indefinitely and to have an option to take it back. We actually stayed in touch with our breeder and became good friends even though we are seven hours apart. Something that was a little heart rending was to have a visit with the breeder later and Kopi shunned them and it was painful for all of us. He was really grouchy for a week after that and we agreed it wasn't in his best interest to do it again. The emotional toll of trying to let someone "keep" their bird from afar would really be hard on all involved in my view.

[Dave007]

One of the worst ideas is to come around for visiting. A person makes up their mind to rehome a bird and that's when he/she decides whether the person is alright to take the bird. Contact should end there for the bird's sake. The bird is in a new environment and it's focus should totally be on getting used to that. A grey never forgets. Plus, someone mentioned rescues. That has to do with visiting a person's home once and the main reason for the visit is to see that living conditions are right---cleanliness, proper type of food. When I say proper type of food, that mainly includes parrot mix. Nothing concerning food refers to the variation of diet. They simply wanna see that the food is made for parrots and not other types of flying birds. What extras you feed or don't feed doesn't interest them. They don't care whether you let the bird out of a cage or not. They make suggestions about the size of a cage when a person first adopts the bird.

Plus, the rescue visit is a one time thing and occurs approx 6 to 8 mts after the bird is adopted. If things are generally in order, they leave and are never seen again.

 

"""""""That's why local is such an important thing for me. If he's close by I can visit...

Sorry """"""""

So what happens if that *local * person decides to move far away??

Edited November 11, 2010 by Dave007

[danmcq]

The replies to this thread all make sense to me.

 

In my case, when the day comes I must re-home Dayo, it will be due to failing health and no longer being able to care for him. It makes me apprehensive just thinking about that day, that I know will come in the future. I fret over who the people will be, if they will truly take care of him like we do and I most certainly ensure he goes with a complete book of how he was raised, fed, time out of the cage, how to get him back in etc.

 

I can totally relate to how this woman must feel in letting her grey go after having it since a baby. I also know, that when Dayo must go, my visiting which I would surely long to do, would be the worst thing for him and just confuse and probably build up hope in him that he is just visiting, not residing in his new permanent home. This lady obviously frets and worries over the new home for her grey and is simply wanting to ensure it is a good fit.

 

I made the mistake many years ago when we had to give up a St. Bernard we had had from birth until 5 years old. He was our baby, but some bad circumstances came up and we had to move which resulting in no place for him to stay. A nearby rancher wanted him and we went to visit weekly. WE did so for 3 weeks in a row. On that third visit, the rancher kindly asked that we never come back. Why? Because Goliath (200 pounds) would not eat and sulk for 3 or four days after we had visited and it made him and the rancher very sad and miserable. Once we stopped the weekly visits, Goliath came to love and accept that ranch as his best friend and pack leader. He lived out the rest of his life in great happiness with 100's of acres to jaunt around and play on.

 

The same results would happen if you went and visited a grey you rehomed. It would just make the transition much longer and difficult for both the grey and the new owner trying to get the grey settled in to the new home and flock.