Marcus and his disturbing behavior :(

[MarcusCAG]

Hello all...

 

First off, I hope I'm posting this in the right section--sorry if I'm not. Yet how to begin?

 

During the past couple of days, I've noticed some rather, ah, disturbing behavior coming out of our Marcus. My husband is never around when this happens, he only does this around me. I will admit that although Marcus obviously favors me and is more comfortable with me, he doesn't act at all aggressive toward my husband. But I do see Marcus do/say a lot more diversified things than my husband does.

 

Anyway. This is the issue: We've had Marcus for only a short while. He's eight years old and came from a somewhat neglected circumstance in his former home. Marcus, nevertheless, is extremely loving and affectionate and obviously starved for attention. He vocalizes quite a bit and has fallen into a lovely pattern with all of us here. My only complaint is that he will not step up for us. I recognize that he knows what I want him to do: he sees our little Quaker parrot, Beaker, step up for us all the time; and just the other day--and now just a half-hour or so ago--he has done this...

 

The first time this happened was when I was prompting him for a step-up, and after the incident I was floored as to the whole 'weirdness' of it all. As it happened again just now, I have a better idea of what actually transpired, so I will describe the second instance of this behavior: Tonight I was reading a book a few feet away from Marcus, who was inside his cage. Beaker was sleeping (or trying to) and Marcus was making very loud noises and so I told him, "Marcus, it's quiet time. We need to be quiet right now." And I kind of used a soft voice. I don't think Marcus was too happy hearing that, but he did grow quieter and there were a few moments of relative silence in the room. Then, suddenly, Marcus repeated the tantrum he threw for me a day or so ago.

 

His vocalizations were gibberish aside from "step up!" and, later, "right here" and "foot"--that's what it sounded like. But his voice was loud and kind of angry, at first when he said "step up!" he lifted his right foot like he was being a good boy and stepping-up for someone, but then he started barking out these angry syllables and he literally stamped his little foot repeatedly on his perch as I thought I heard "right here" and "foot"... Essentially, what I took away from this, and his 'tantrum' from the other day, was that he looked like he was imitating some very angry, male human who wanted him to step-up and was throwing a fit about him not doing so. It was actually... a little scary to watch. It might sound silly to say this, but it looked like my beautiful Grey had been possessed by a very short-fused adult man or something and was having a hissy fit inside his cage.

 

I told my husband about it later and said I thought maybe Marcus had seen one of his former owners act out like this and he had taken away from the concept of "stepping up" a bad experience; maybe that is why he doesn't want to step up for even me. But my husband had this thought, which I find intriguing, but I don't know what to think of it: he said that maybe Marcus witnessed little rages against him before about 'stepping up' and he associates bad things with it, but now that he's falling in love with me and learning to trust us, he wants to please us and make us happy... but he's afraid to in this respect (stepping up). So he has a little battle going on inside of himself about the whole step-up issue, and so he's re-living this past incident--or series of incidents--as he's working it all out inside himself.

 

I don't know what to think. I just know seeing Marcus do this twice now has left me feeling very weird inside, and I feel bad for him, for whatever he's dealing with inside himself.

 

Any thoughts? Thank you...

[Barbara2]

One immediate thought is to work on the command using a new word. Long ago "step up" wasn't as common as it seems to be now. We taught our two now teenaged birds with a simple "up", but it was more sing songy, like "uuuuuupp" with our voice rising at the end of the word almost like a question. Or maybe look up "step up" in another language and try to work with that. He might learn the new command but without the old, negative connotation.

[Azzie]

It doesn't matter what word you want to use for Marcus to step up, as long as you are consistent with the word, he will learn to associate the desired action with the word.

 

It sounds like he is showing the baggage he is carrying from his previous home, and is trying to assert some authority.

 

As Barbara said, perhaps using a new word and starting retraining Marcus might be useful, and of course totally avoiding showing frustration or anger when he won't (not as if you didn't already know that though).

[danmcq]

I agree with the others, it is baggage coming out that you are starting to see. This poor bird was obviously living in a hostile environ in which the previous owners had no clue obviously about interacting with a parrot, thus the frustration and anger you hear in Marcus's voice. They are very empathic and know our inner feelings, even if your trying to hide them.

 

It is not so much needing to change the wording, it is now going to be a long and patient path to get him to understand not all humans throw a fit when he chooses not to step when asked. Just speak to him softly and kindly when he is doing that and let him know it's ok. If you become frustrated with the noise, he will start thinking this home is the same as the last.

[Luvparrots]

Oh this is so sad to hear. But now you understand the conflicts Marcus is going through and you can deal with them in a loving and understanding way. He is a very intelligent grey and has found a way to express his problem and conflict with you. Talk to Marcus and let him know you understand and I know the two of you will be able to work this predicament out. Marcus wants to cooperate, it is up to you to figure out how to help him overcome his fears. I look forward to hearing good things about Marcus and his new and loving parront!!!

[birdhouse]

It might be a good idea to acknowledge him when he channels the scary man. See if it's more comforting to talk about what he's acting out, or just distract him with a whistling game or something.

 

I would stop trying to get him to step up for now. Change focus to establishing a bond of trust & pleasure between you. No demands, no stress, no expectations.

 

Once or twice a day, hand feed him something like a grape or orange section. Tuck one hand into a loose fist, palm down. Put the wrist/forearm in front of or barely against him. Offer the treat in the other hand so he'll have to lean across the arm with nothing beyond an occasional bit of contact to eat. Make a big deal about telling Marcus how wonderful he is & encourage him to enjoy his treat... period. Be sure not to use any words that he would associate with step up. Quit after a couple of minutes & let him finish the food on his own.

 

Once he becomes very comfortable doing this, feed him for longer & make it a little harder for him to reach. At some point, he should step onto you to feed. Make sure to tell him how wonderful he is but try not to get excited. Position the treat so he can stay on you as long as possible. Give it another few days before you start using the phrase that you want him to associate with climbing onto you while he's there.

 

Now Marcus has some good experiences to counter the bad. Hopefully some of his trust in people has been re-established. Meanwhile, he won't have any reason to know you're trying to get him to do anything.

[judygram]

Once or twice a day, hand feed him something like a grape or orange section. Tuck one hand into a loose fist, palm down. Put the wrist/forearm in front of or barely against him. Offer the treat in the other hand so he'll have to lean across the arm with nothing beyond an occasional bit of contact to eat. Make a big deal about telling Marcus how wonderful he is & encourage him to enjoy his treat... period. Be sure not to use any words that he would associate with step up. Quit after a couple of minutes & let him finish the food on his own.

 

Once he becomes very comfortable doing this, feed him for longer & make it a little harder for him to reach. At some point, he should step onto you to feed. Make sure to tell him how wonderful he is but try not to get excited. Position the treat so he can stay on you as long as possible. Give it another few days before you start using the phrase that you want him to associate with climbing onto you while he's there.

 

 

 

Very sound advice, I say go with it.

[MarcusCAG]

All of you, thank you so much for your insightfulness and empathy toward our little man... I think what you said makes perfect sense, I know already it will take some time to work a lot of things out with Marcus. The noise really isn't an issue, when he and Beaker get at it (being loud) in the middle of the day I've taken to wearing earplugs. But I am hoping to teach Marcus, as Beaker already has an idea of this, that there are times to be loud and yet there are times to be quieter. But if that concept has to take a backseat to this much larger issue then, of course, it will.

 

I have been spending a lot of time with Marcus just talking with him, petting him, loving him. He is very gentle and affectionate and he can make me cry sometimes, he is so sweet and tender. I had hoped he would step-up quickly like Beaker did after we adopted him, but apparently as this is not the case, I just want to make sure he feels secure and loved here. So we will go at his pace. I shared with my hubby all of your thoughts and he said they make perfect sense too, so I'm hoping we can approach this together and make Marcus feel even safer, sooner.

 

I will keep you posted about all this. And, truly, thank you so much for your input... we sincerely appreciate it.

[judygram]

We will look forward to hearing all about his progress but you hit on the key word, "his" pace as it must not be rushed, anything worth having is worth waiting for, I can see great things coming in the near future for you and Marcus with this train of thought.

[MarcusCAG]

Well, I just wanted to let everyone know that when I let Marcus out of his cage last night, after a while of walking around on the floor and exploring (and being warned by Beaker with panicked cries not to walk under the futon--funny thing, that, the poor Quaker seems to think an evil something lives under there!) he apparently wanted to try and feed my hand. Usually I try to discourage his regurgitation displays of affection by distracting him, but since Marcus kept stepping up onto my wrist to try and feed my one knuckle... I let him stumble all over me for a few minutes until I finally called my husband into the room as an interruption. Marcus immediately fluffed up and ran across the room toward him, which delighted my hubby to no end, and then we played with him together for a while before Beaker decided it was time for bed.

 

Anyway, I think that's some progress...

[Barbara2]

Great job Marcus and great job for you! Progress is good!!

[danmcq]

I second Barbara's "Good Job"!

 

Marcus actually sounds like a real sweetheart.

[birdhouse]

It's wonderful to hear this. Even better that he included your hubby, under the circumstances. He really does seem like an exceptional & sweet bird. Which is all the more reason why he deserves such great home! I third everyone's "Good Job!"

[MarcusCAG]

It's wonderful to hear this. Even better that he included your hubby, under the circumstances. He really does seem like an exceptional & sweet bird. Which is all the more reason why he deserves such great home! I third everyone's "Good Job!"

 

Oh, thank you so much--we do think he's just a darling, and he seems to be growing more comfortable with us day by day. Today I discovered that he likes to dance! I put on a record (yes, a record!) for Beaker and Marcus and, on a sudden whim, started dancing in front of them and said, "Mommy's dancing!" Marcus fluffed up and bobbed his head and said "Whoooo!" and started running across his long top perch and giggling in my voice and flapping his wings a bit. He was just too cute!

 

We do adore him. He's become such a part of our family already... thank you, everyone, for all of your input and sweet thoughts and kindness. We really appreciate it! And with another attempt tonight at regurgitation-for-my-knuckles and lots of stepping all over my hand and arm--hopefully soon enough that dark issue with his former owner and "Stepping up" will not exist for Marcus as it has until now.

Edited October 28, 2010 by MarcusCAG