cass Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 so i am fostering a grey at the moment...he will step up for me when its just me and sit on my shoulder and allow the odd cuddle....when my other half cormac comes int hough his attention(not sure of sex) is totally for him...he will do anything for cormac, calls when he leaves the room and regurgitates on him...allows all kinds of cuddles and cormac can move and touch him without him being anyway hesitant...i move my hand and he darts to look at me... how do i change this bond for him to bond to me? we have only had him/her a few days and he was a rehome(he bonded instantly to the male in the house who found him wandering the streets) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoDiego Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 (edited) Unfortunately you cannot change who he bonds with the most, this is something that they decide for themselves. You can however work with him to trust and interact with you more, this takes time with any new parrot but if you are patient and consistent with him, it will change. Also parrots are very susceptible in picking up peoples vibes, maybe your new family member has not taken to Cormac because he prefers him, but maybe Cormac is just more comfortable in handling him. If you are more hesitant with him or nervous around him, then he will pick this up and not understand why you are acting like this. Normally when someone is comfortable with a parrot they tend to relax and be more comfortable with that person. (he bonded instantly to the male in the house who found him wandering the streets) Have any searches been made for his original owners? Also has he been checked by an Avian vet for a microchip? Edited August 23, 2010 by GoDiego Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cass Posted August 23, 2010 Author Share Posted August 23, 2010 hi! thanks for the reply i love reading about diego!!!so you think he will always be bonded to cormac more because of this initial reaction? well i guess i was more careful around him in the first day but more trying to give him space and letting him come to me as i didnt want to stress him in his first few days...then cormac came in not knowing anything and swooped him up and that was it...if what you said about cormac being more comfortable but not necessarily the preferred one would he be regurgitating on him?he also does this dance up and down cormacs arm like he is trying to impress him??? thing is cormac isn't even a bird person...i am the one who will be the greys owner...should i allow him to come out and sit with cormac in the evenings or should i take over?it just seems if he's int he room the bird wants him and not me...also to take him to a different room every evening would be no fun for anyone! yes the country has been searched and every ad that was up for a lost parrot have been replied to...he has a silver tag on his leg john hayward was contacted with the number and no owner found still??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoDiego Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 so you think he will always be bonded to cormac more because of this initial reaction? Jayd here on the forum said that most parrots will bond with 2 people with a ratio of 40/60. If he bonds more with one person, it does not mean that they are going to be the only one that can handle them and get attention from them. In the evenings it's probably worth sharing the attention giving. By him not being able to come out and join you, he may see this as a negative thing and wonder why he cannot join in. Just make sure you give him the same amount or even a bit more attention then Cormac does. Diego is very fickle about who he loves from one day to the next. One day, he's a mummy's boy and grumpy with my husband, the next day vice versa! I'm just getting used to the days he's off with me but dotes on my husband, I used to get quite jealous. LOL yes the country has been searched and every ad that was up for a lost parrot have been replied to...he has a silver tag on his leg john hayward was contacted with the number and no owner found still??? He's so lucky to have been found and given a new loving home Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Yes greys choose their favorite people and sometimes it is not the one who buys it for themselves but that doesn't mean that you can't have a good relationship with him but if you are fostering him and it is possible that you may not keep him then what does it really matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cass Posted August 23, 2010 Author Share Posted August 23, 2010 hi judy...this grey looks like he's gonna be staying with us forever...his owners cant be found and if they arent in future he will stay with us..so it does matter...also i will be the one at home and taking care of the grey, i'll also be the one taking him out of his cage and interacting with him so he won't get much time with cormac... so far i'm giving him a treat every time i come into the room to greet him and any time he talks(as he mostly talks when we are out of the room?!) while we are in the room....i am sitting next to him and talking to him and i will be the one to take him out of his cage and let cormac put him back in for a while....any toehr tricks for him would be appreciated to buy his love..haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayd Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 All the answers are correct, sit back, treat this baby with the love you have for him, and things will work out..Relax, don't let you baby feel any anxiety or stress from you, and don't be demanding, both of you, just enjoy him, both of you take him and put him in and take him out his cage, you don't want him to get in a routine...The only way to buy his love is to be patient, non-demanding and most important, Time..... Your doing Grey't....Jayd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cass Posted August 23, 2010 Author Share Posted August 23, 2010 thanks jayd....will do all that.....(just to note he/she isn't a baby) we dont know how old he/she is but reckon over 3 anyway as he's talking a decent amount and from other details about him/her....also no name yet or idea of sex...think shes a girl though ; o) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoDiego Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 so far i'm giving him a treat every time i come into the room to greet him and any time he talks(as he mostly talks when we are out of the room?!) Make sure you only reward him for chattering sounds, if they start getting louder don't reward him as it could trigger him to start screaming. I think what you are doing at the moment is great and don't forget that by sitting and talking to him, spending time with etc. will help you to gain confidence with him as well. Sometimes it's not just the parrot that needs to gain some trust but us also. When a mutual trust develops then I think things start changing with the interaction. When I first had Diego I was petrified of him biting me, I wiggle my finger at him and say scratch before giving him a scritch, but before if he used to turn his head towards my finger I would whip my hand back and get flustered. After a week of doing this he did not seem to want me to go near him, and only wanted attention from my husband who was much more relaxed with him. After I found out that he uses his beak as a hand and he was only checking my finger out and not wanting to chop it off, I relaxed completely with him. Now we are best buddies, although he still holds a candle for my husband. Yes greys choose their favorite people Although Diego is not a grey, (however, he's looking at a nice grey jumpsuit to wear so he fits into this part of the forum LOL) we have a friend that regularly visits and Diego fell in love with him at first sight. What took my husband and I to do took Paco minutes. Diego was like a baby with him and Paco spent more time with Diego that day then with us. Now whenever Paco comes around, my husband and I simply disappear into the background and are no longer important to Diego. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cass Posted August 23, 2010 Author Share Posted August 23, 2010 diego sounds like a sweetheart....yeah i read about treats at the wrong times so he only got a treat when he said proper words or attempts(some words are a bit slurred!) not for any of the high pitched chirps...he seemed to pick it up and it was a nice game for us to learn together....he was almost as excited doing this game as i've seen him with cormac....almost....hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayd Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 thanks jayd....will do all that.....(just to note he/she isn't a baby) we dont know how old he/she is but reckon over 3 anyway as he's talking a decent amount and from other details about him/her....also no name yet or idea of sex...think shes a girl though ; o) LOL, Their all Baby to me, it's how I refer to them...lol Jayd Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Well then that is great that this grey is going to stay with you but it doesn't change the fact that he/she will decide who the favorites are and even if you aren't that person you will still have a good relationship with him maybe not like the one with Cormac but a good one, just keep doing what you are doing and things will work out. He has to come to trust you to bond with you and a grey's trust has to be earned but with lots of time and attention he will come to love you in his own way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cass Posted August 23, 2010 Author Share Posted August 23, 2010 well im definitely up for the challenge...in it for the long haul if needs be so will do my best...its just funny cos before he met cormac on the first day he stepped up and sat with me happy as anything...since cormacs arrival onto the scene he has no time for me...even this eve cormac is sick so i let him out of his cage..he wouldnt step up to come out but climbed out and wouldnt step up to come over and sit with me(as he did a few days ago)...he did take treats happily and chat away to me...will keep trying eventually he will see im a good guy....tried sitting with eyes closed now and then too and noticed him relaxing...will keep trying all the tips and tricks to show him im on his side....he is a clever clogs and its very early days yet(5 days now) so time will tell : o) as a side note...arent they funny these guys?cormac has no idea about birds, what they like, how to handle them, behaviour and body language...and yet he is the chosen one??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Yes it may be a while for 5 days is nothing in the life of a grey, just remember small steps, take what he gives or allows and when he is ready for more you will know. cormac has no idea about birds, what they like, how to handle them, behaviour and body language...and yet he is the chosen one??? Sometimes it is like that, maybe he hasn't had anything to do with birds before but your grey sensed something about him that made him take to him, I am betting that he comes to love him as much as you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayd Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Judys very correct, remember, not only is he starting a new life with you, but you with him, He'll always have his past, which he's comparing his new life with you to.... Jayd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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