Psychological trauma like I have never seen - need help

[Birdnut]

Hi, babysweet. Glad to hear that things appear to be working out for you and Jakob.

 

Just wanted to comment on the high perch idea. It sounds like what Pamela Clark did was to raise the whole cage up high. Perhaps that's what you meant by putting his perch high to allow him to "perch near the ceiling." But if you were thinking of putting just a perch, itself, up that high, I would be concerned about Jakob falling. I don't remember whether you mentioned if he could fly or not. If not, I would worry about perching him that high, especially since you mentioned that he will occasionally throw himself backward off the perch, with no concern for his safety.

 

All the best.

[chelseaB]

Hi babysweet, I'm glad to hear Jakobs caretakers have had a change of heart. I will be really anxious to hear how your relationship with Jakob progresses. Please keep us posted, and have a great vacation! Sounds like a blast!

[GoDiego]

I agree with Birdnut, I think putting a perch up high would be very dangerous for Jakob at the moment with his erratic movements. His cage however does make sense in making him feel much safer being higher of the ground, but to have his perch lower in the cage in case he does throw himself off.

[babysweet]

Thanks all, but once again it seems my celebration has been premature.

 

After receiving an email that literally said "when would you like to pick him up" and not much more, I received another that they weren't really sure after all.

 

I've consulted with Pamela Clark - who they then called and harassed, making me look like a total arse to Pamela - and she agrees that these people do not know what they are doing and apparently she was the driving force behind the initial change of heart. Pamela felt that not only does his caregiver not have the abilities or knowledge to deal with Jakob, but she may actually be making him worse, and apparently didn't hesitate to tell her that either - btw for those of you who don't know yet, Pamela Clark is absolutely unbelievably amazing.

 

So now they've requested a meeting with us on Sunday. Supposedly to "school" me on parrot behaviour. After Pamela's email, this infuriates me even more.

 

The immediate plan is to go out there, see what they have to say, and hopefully bring Jakob home on the 23rd. However, I'm so unbelievably frustrated with the woman involved, I don't know if I can keep my comments to myself while I'm there.

 

Thanks to all the comments about the perches up high. All I have to say is "duh." I'm sure this would have come to me as I was putting them up... I think it may be just my emotional issues with what's going on right now that wouldn't allow me to see that mistake immediately. We've chosen some cat carriers to put up high instead, modified with little perches in them.

 

I was going with the no-cage approach, but it was suggested to me by the caregiver who is now a CONFIRMED ignoramus when it comes to parrot behaviour. Let's just say we're starting at square one again.

 

Keep your fingers crossed, all of you. And let me say it again - Pamela Clark rocks.

[GoDiego]

Babysweet, one of the hardest things in the world is biting your tongue. However, just nod, smile, agree with her then get the hell out of there with your new baby in tow! I think diplomacy is the key to Jakob release from his current caregiver. Good Luck

[babysweet]

Babysweet, one of the hardest things in the world is biting your tongue. However, just nod, smile, agree with her then get the hell out of there with your new baby in tow! I think diplomacy is the key to Jakob release from his current caregiver. Good Luck

 

Oh, don't I know it. When we pick up a surrendered pet for rescue, I send my husband. I can't go. I just can't control myself when I get there and see how bad things really are.

 

I also have an issue with "experts."

 

I don't mean people who offer their opinion based on their experiences and their research - I have an issue with people presenting total BS as fact.

 

I worked at a pet supply store for five years. Greatest job of all time, but to keep our cool with "those" customers (like the one who told me that because her cat was an - insert cat breed here - that it needed more grain in its diet. Cause only domesticated cats eat meat, and her breed was a "wild" breed) we kept a log of the stupidest things we've ever heard people say.

 

And there were hundreds of occasions where I would simply give a look to one of my co-workers and just walk away. They'd jump in and take over, knowing I was about to unleash on someone for being an idiot.

 

This is where my husband is so great. He can totally look a complete "expert" in the face and go along with every word - with a smile. We make a good team. ;o)

 

Needless to say, I had to rewrite my email to Jakob's people several times. My outrage tends to express itself either directly or dripping with sarcasm. It's not pretty, but it's effective if I'm trying to make a point. About a dozen rewrites were necessary to remove all traces of my anger, although I did express my frustration (as diplomatically as is possible, for me) that we had been placed on this roller coaster.

 

The decision to commit to Jakob was not one we took lightly. And to have it presented to us, and taken away, over and over has been emotionally exhausting. I wish I could post Pamela's email here, let me just say that she was totally, 100% supportive of me and what Jakob needed, and that he was not a commodity. She has proven herself to me already to be a straight shooter, a very direct communicator and a no-nonsense personality. I'm very impressed by that, and would recommend her services to anyone on this board (or elsewhere) who may be in need of professional advice.

 

To have that decision bounced around in front of us by Jakob's caregivers, for them to be so flippant towards us... it's just one more log on the fire, you know?

 

It'll take a lot on Sunday to push me over the edge, but I'll do whatever I can to leave with a smile on my face and a guarantee of Jakob's adoption.

[judygram]

I know you will do whatever it takes to get Jakob home with you and if you have to bite your tongue then so be it, please keep us informed of what develops as you have been and good luck to you.

[danmcq]

It'll take a lot on Sunday to push me over the edge, but I'll do whatever I can to leave with a smile on my face and a guarantee of Jakob's adoption.

 

Some Valium and a few shots may help before going to retrieve Jakob.

 

I am looking forward to the update on this.

[babysweet]

Jakob is home!! I have second degree bites in my tongue, but he's home! (from me... lol... not Jakob)

 

I'll post the whole thing tomorrow, I'm exhausted.

 

Thank you again for all your support!

[judygram]

I'm so happy to know that Jakob is home with you and I know that it must have taken all your strength to hold your tongue but it was worth it now wasn't it, I can't wait to hear all about it but the most important thing is Jakob is in a better situation now so take care.

[Guest]

babysweet,

 

I've been rooting for Jakob all along and am so pleased he is now in your care and away from that ... other.. person. :-) Congratulations on keeping your mouth shut, waiting out the roller coaster ride, and most of all, doing what you had to do in order to help Jakob.

 

Looking forward to hearing more about him from you as time goes on. All the best from me and my zoo.

 

>^..^<

[GoDiego]

YAY, what great news, I can't wait to hear about Jakob's slow road to recovery. Time now to nurse your new baby and your tongue LOL.

[danmcq]

Jakob is home!! I have second degree bites in my tongue, but he's home! (from me... lol... not Jakob)

 

You should have gone the less painful path of valium and a few shots.

 

Congratulations! I am looking forward to the story.

[Birdnut]

Huzzah!!! So glad to hear that things worked out. I'm sure it will be a long road with Jakob, but I feel that he has a real chance now in your care.

 

Looking forward to your story about how things went at the handoff.

[birdhouse]

OK... I'm crying

 

I am just so happy to know that part of Jakob's nightmare is over.

 

Awesome, awesome job getting him out of there!!

[babysweet]

After much debate, I have decided not to share the details of Jakob's acquisition. I've determined that while his former caregivers really did want to help him, they knew less than nothing and were progressively making him worse. This was not intentional, it was ignorance.

 

The important thing is that he's home and his recovery can begin. Between everything I'm quite simply exhausted, but if you want to read about our last few days, we've started a blog at http://jakobsjourney.wordpress.com

 

We post to several grey boards, dog boards, and everywhere in between and rather than repeat his daily stories over and over I decided that a blog was the best way to cover all bases.

 

Excuse me, cause I'm not that much of a writer. But I'll do my best to chronicle our daily adventures.

 

Thanks again soooooo much to everyone here for their honesty and support. I will continue to be part of the forums, and will of course post any questions or issues here, but his daily workings will go only to the blog.

 

And a biiiiiiiig thanks from Jakob. Who's scared, unsure, frightened, panicky and at times, terrified. But he's home, and he's safe. And part of that is because of all of you.

 

xoxoxo

[GoDiego]

Great blog babysweet, it's so wonderful to hear how things are going since you have Jakob home. It's going to take a long time but it sounds like you are doing everything you can to gain some confidence with him and you can tell he is very loved in his new home

[pearllyn]

What a warm smile came over my face when I read that Jakob was home.

I've read your blog and I'm just so happy that Jakob is finally going to have some peace and happiness. I'm sure you are going to help him get over his fears and paranoias. Thanks so much for giving this special little soul a place in your home and lives.

[Greywings]

Good work!!! Let us know how he handled the transfer and how your tongue is recovering.

[babysweet]

Just wanted to thank everyone here for your support. Jakob has come a LONG way in a short time. From a bird who couldn't hear a human voice without thrashing about his cage as if his very life depended on it to a CAG who last night climbed down the front of his cage, walked across the floor and begged to be cuddled. With a lot of coaxing and practice, of course, but if you had told me a few weeks ago that this is where we would be, I would have frankly questioned your sanity.

 

Luckily, my days are wide open - so Jakob has had hours and hours of one on one attention and focus. We're working on building trust and instilling some minor training skills.

 

As I mentioned before, you can keep up with Jakob's story on our blog. There's just too many forums to post every update to.

 

Thanks again, to everyone. )

[danmcq]

What a wonderful thing to hear! Defo on following the blog.

 

Thanks for posting this update.

[GoDiego]

Hi Babysweet, I actually read your blog yesterday and was so happy to hear how well Jakob is doing! It was so lovely to hear that not just yourself but your husband also is already gaining the trust of him, sounds like your hubbies guitar playing is doing the trick! Keep up the fantastic work, Jakob is a very lucky boy finding you both!

[chelseaB]

This is wonderful to hear! Really sweet that he is actively seeking out your company. Thanks for the update & I also have been following your blog, great idea!

[pearllyn]

It's wonderful to hear that Jakob is doing so well with you. I've read your latest blog, and I know you still have a way to go with him, but I do think you will have a transformed bird after all the hard work you're putting in. I'm enjoying the updates, thanks for taking the time to keep us posted.

[birdhouse]

Continue to follow Jakob's progress on http://jakobsjourney.wordpress.com. Was hoping you might consider posting some things.

 

Now that Jakob's been with you for a month, is he still throwing himself off his perch when he's in his cage? Where did you end up settling his cage with relationship to the rest of the household? What did you end up doing with him for the weekend you went away? How did that effect him? Will you post any of the video of him any time soon (I hope :~)?

 

Especally after all this poor guy's been thru, it's so great to see the progress you've all made. This looks like an amazing success story in the making. Thank you for continuing to share it with everyone.